Disclaimer:

The characters from the Twilight Saga belong to Stephanie Meyer. You guys know who those characters are so please, do not ask me to name them. However there will be a few characters that were not invented by Meyer, but by yours truly. I hope you guys like this story and I hope I make you go through an emotional rollercoaster.


Introduction:

"Death ends a life, not a relationship Bella. Just because he's not here
doesn't mean you'll stop being his wife, but you can let someone else in.
There's nothing wrong with loving someone else. Just let me in?"


Bella's POV

"Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

As the cab came to a stop outside of my fathers' house I found myself drifting. The memories hunt me every day and being back in this town is sure to be the death of me. This is where we met. We were just kids, but even then I knew we belonged together. The moment he said 'hello' to me was the moment I truly felt complete…

"Bells, come on they'll be here soon." Charlie yelled up the stairs. I was in my room taking as long as possible. My father-the a-hole that he is- invited everyone over for my birthday. He refused to listen to me and keep in low key, just me and him. No, he has to invite every cop, every single one of his fishing buds, and every single person from Forks high that call themselves 'my friend', of course they're all lying. I only have two friends from the monstrous school and that's Ben Cheney and his girl Angela Webber.

"Dad, I can't believe you're doing this." I complained as I reached the bottom of the staircase. "I told you I didn't want a party. Now the house is going to be too packed."

"No it's not. Stop the damn winning Bells. You'll thank me later, besides how many times do I get to give my baby girl her last teenage party?" He took my silence as my defeat. "I thought so. So stop complaining and come on. I swear that wining stuff is from your mothers' side. I thought I raised a trooper."

"Yeah, a trooper who hates people." I mutter so low I was sure he didn't hear me, boy was I wrong. He laughed so loud I thought I burst an eardrum. That's when it happened. That's when the front door opened and the most beautiful man I'd ever seen walked through the doors.

He was beautiful and I was in shock. He was tall, masculine, and beautiful, with gorgeous black short cropped hair. He was a god, a beautiful Indian god.

"…Bells, Bells, Bells, Bella!" My father snapped his fingers in my face making me jump five feet in the air. My breathing was erratic as I shifted my gaze from that beautiful man to my father. I saw the smile as plain as day on my fathers face. My cheeks burst with fire and I found myself looking down and shifting my hair so it covered my face, holy shit.

"Bells, this is Billy, and his son Jacob; Jacob's home from college for a few weeks. Guy's this is my pride and joy, Isabella Marie Swan." My father looked at me quickly as my full name left his lips.

As the words registered in my head I began to chock on plain air. My father was never so verbose about his feelings, especially in front of other guys and for him to say my first name, knowing how I feel about it. I was on the verge of tears, but I held them back. I'm stronger then her. I felt my father tapping me on my back, attempting to get me to breathe again. I laughed it out.

"Your pride and joy old man?" I asked amusingly.

"Yes smart ass, my pride and joy."

"Hello," greeted the most masculine voice I've ever heard. It wasn't rough, or too butch, but it was smooth and one hundred percent manly.

"Hi," I whispered shyly. On side of me I could hear my father chuckle. I wanted badly to elbow him the ribs, but I was just so…confused. I was never shy and who is this beautiful boy to come into my own home and make me such?

"Bells why don't you and Jacob go get something to drink. I need to speak to Billy about something important."

"Is everything alright?" I asked concerned, his job the first thing popping in my head. My dad's a field cop right now, but for me, he's working on becoming chief. I just hate knowing while I'm off at college he's going to be putting himself in the line of danger. I wouldn't be able to survive if something were to happen to him. So for that reason alone I asked him to try and become the new chief of police.

"Yeah kiddo, everything is fine. Go." He said pointing towards the kitchen.

I narrowed my eyes at him and he did the same, his scowl way more impressive then mine. I shook my head, letting a few giggles escape my mouth. My old man is the best.

I made my way into the kitchen, Jacob on my heels. I could feel the heat radiating from his body into mine. It was the safest sensation I've ever felt. I walked over to the fridge, opening it up to get two cokes. I handed him his and we drunk in silence. I wanted to know so much about this beautiful creature, yet nothing would come out of my usually smart-alecky mouth, luckily he didn't have that problem.

"So, Bella, right?" I nodded in confirmation, still unable to do anything but stare. "What grade are you in?" I stared for a few more seconds, watching as his two perfectly shaped eyebrows turned in on each other.

"I'm graduating in a few days. What about you?" I asked, yet again, shyly.

"I'm a sophomore at Washington State University Vancouver. So, graduation, that must be exciting?"

"You have no idea. Or, well I guess you do being in college and all. So what are you majoring in?" I asked before I could embarrass myself further.

"Engineering, Genetic engineering; I know, I know, 'you're not exactly the kind of guy that sits behind a telescope and look at organism's'." He mimicked in what was supposed to be my voice. I couldn't help but laugh at the high pitch noise.

"Oh that is so not me." I argued amusedly. He shook his head, not agreeing with me assessment.

"Oh, that is so you, Isabella." He laughed. My laughter stopped admittedly. I hate my name. Even said from his tongue it's still ugly, which is a total paradox since the name itself means beautiful. "Are you okay Isabella?" He asked worriedly, making me flinch in response.

"Fine, I have to go get dressed. It was nice meeting you Jacob." I turned heading for the stairs. I was almost at the point of break down when my father grabbed my arm.

"Bells, what is it? What's wrong? Did he try something with you?" Charlie asked furiously.

"Dad no, I just, I have to go get dressed okay?" He let me go and I flew up the stairs. I could hear his furious voice before I closed the door to my room. Fortunately it was cut off as soon as the door closed.

I know my reaction was a bit dramatic, but no one understands, but my dad. She gave me that name. She thought that name some how described me perfectly and I hate her. She's the worst thing that ever happened to my father and the only thing she ever gave me was that name, and I don't want it.

I was in my room for the remainder of the hour, pretending to get dressed. My father came up once to cheek on me, but I assured him I was fine. And now that I know the party has started, surprisingly I am fine. I waited until the door bell rung for the sixteenth time before I exited my room. Luckily I didn't see Jacob in the sea of bobbing heads. I feel so embarrassed for running away and crying like some first grade school girl. He doesn't know about my name so I shouldn't have acted as such, as if he knew and was trying to intentionally hurt me.

"Bella?!" a familiar voice yelled, while at the same time pulling me away from the too crowded living room.

"Angie, you came!" I gushed excitedly and jumped her. We tumbled to the floor, giggling and tickling each other. Angela is my all time best friend, but we can't tell Ben because he'd be angry that I chose her. He'd say something like; 'I was here first skank' then we would fall to the floor laughing.

"Aw, so this is who my women left me for? Angie, I just want you to know that this girl does not have the goods that I have to satisfy you."

"Eww Ben, god just get down here." I pulled his arm and yanked him to us on the floor. He fell behind me and grabbed my waist. Angie was in front of me and she also grabbed my waist. I brought my arms up and placed them around their shoulders. It felt just like old times, like middle school all over again.

"I'm going to miss you guys. What am I going to do without you? I hate stupid Harvard." They laughed and I joined in. The sheer possibility of Harvard being stupid was comical.

"Bells you were accepted too. I still don't understand why you want to stay near this place."

"My dad, I can't be that far away from him, I just can't leave him. I can't be her."

"Everything will be fine Bella, you'll see." Ben assured, but I couldn't help the thought that he doesn't really know that from popping into my mind, because in reality he doesn't know that.

"Bell, are you in here?" my dad called as he entered the dim lite kitchen.

"Yes, down here dad." He looked down and shook his head at the sit of the three of use pressed tightly against each other. He glanced at Ben longer then Angie and shook his head again. "Well, when you and the sex twins are finished down there, you have guest to greet and mingle with." He reminded me.

I smiled and turned to Ben, licking his face from his chin to his hair line. Then I turned to Angie and did the same. "Yummy. Daddy, I'm finished now, you may take me away to my death." I held my hands out for him to take and he walked over laughing and pulled me up. "I'll see you guys- I mean sex slaves in a bit." They laughed and stayed on the floor still entangled. I took one long look at them and huffed before I turned and walked out into the crowd of annoying phony's.

As soon as I was in the living room I was attacked by every phony personally. I was hugged and touched and grabbed and prodded and embarrassed when Jessica Stanley actually complemented me. I know for a fact she hates me for sticking gum in her hair when we were four, causing her to get half of it chopped off. She's hated me every since that day, so why is she complementing me on my dress?

I dismissed the thoughts of Jessica just as Newton grabbed my wrist and swung me into a dance. "Hello Bella. You look pretty this evening." Newton is the schools everything; best football player, baseball player, soccer player, and basketball player. And one thing about Newton, he'll never let you forget any of it.

"Michael-"

"Mike, just Mike." He corrected quickly.

"Okay, 'just Mike', what do you think you're doing?"

"Dancing with you." He answered seductively-more like creepily- as if that wasn't obvious.

"Okay, why?"

"Do I have to have a reason to dance with my girl?" See, that was another thing about Mike; he assumed too much, way too much. It's not like I've never thought of dating the guy, I mean he has asked enough for me to consider it, but I just have a feeling our brain waves are on two different stations, We won't have anything in common. Where I have brains he, like the scarecrow, has straw for brains.

"Yes, because I'm not you're girl. Now please let me go?" I asked kindly. You only get kind from me once before I lash out. People hate when I lash out.

"Oh come on Bella, you know you want me. You've always played hard to get, but I bet you're as easy as Jessica." That was it. That was the end of my kind streak. I pushed him away from me and pulled my fist back. Just as I was about to let it jerk forwards someone caught me by the wrist and yanked me away from the Jerk wad.

"We're not finished you ass!" I yelled back at the offending asshole, glaring at him the entire time the unknown person led me out of the house.

When we were clear of the crowd and I no longer saw the face I wanted so badly to smash in half I turned to glare at the person that dragged me away from what would have been Mike Newton's most embarrassing moment; getting beat by a girl. But as soon as my eyes landing on the enemy my back jerked up and I was no longer glaring, just really embarrassed. I'd thought he'd left after out whole kitchen ordeal.

"You're still here?" I asked disbelief clear in my words.

"Would you like me to go?"he asked sullen by the thought.

"No, of course not, you're welcome to stay. I just thought the way I behaved…I just didn't think you would have wanted to stay."

"The way you behaved was to be expected. You behaved how I behaved when my name was brought up too. Only I've gotten over it, but still, I'm sorry. I should have just called you Bella like everyone else."

"He told you? Of course he did, my fathers not one for secrets. Did he yell at you? Of course he did, what am I even asking for." He laughed at my inability to let him answer for himself. "Are you enjoying your self?"

"I am now." He said smiling down at me. I hadn't notice our closeness. "So?' He asked casually. "Who was that guy you were dancing with, you know, the one I stole you from?"

I grimaced at the memory of the annoying Mike Newton. "He's a delusional fool that- if not for you- would be six, or maybe even ten feet under. He just pulled me into a dance, not even asking me and basically told me I was easy. I hate guys like that. I wanted to snap his little blond neck."

"I'll do it for you." Jacob whispered so low that I wasn't sure I'd heard right, but it most certainly sounded just like I think I'd heard it. I sighed in naivety. Why would he want to fight my mêlées?

"Do you want to go back in?" He asked abruptly.

"No, can we stay out here for a while?" I asked desperately.

"Certainly, we can stay out here as long as you want."

"Bells?" My father called pulling me from my reverie. He opened the cab door and pulled my out of the car and into his arms. "Oh Bells…"

"I'm fine dad." I lied numbly. "I'm just a little tired, jet leg and all. Let me get my bags and I'll be right in."

"Don't be ridicules, Bell. Go into the house and I'll get you bags. Go!" He ordered in his familiar cop mode voice.

I nodded and headed towards the house I was just about to enter when the door swung open and an all too familiar and similar frame stood in the doorway. "Jacob?" I whispered as if my mind was playing tricks on me. "Jake?"

"Bella?" The frame called. I knew then that it wasn't him, it wasn't my Jacob. I'm loosing my mind. My legs gave way and I fell to the floor, my hands clutching my heart. "Charlie?!"

"Bells!" my father yelled seconds after the voice. "Billy, what happened?" He asked wrapping his arms around my torso.

"She thought I was him, she thought I was Jacob." A sob so violent left my chest at that moment that it made my head hurt.

"I'm so sorry Billy. It's entirely my fault. I'm to blame. He's gone because of me. It was my fault!" I screamed into my father's chest. "I took my own husband away from me. It was supposed to be me. If there's a god and he wanted someone he should have taken me, not Jacob, never Jacob, me. He deserves to be here. Oh Billy, I'm so sorry."

"Bella, please stop. It wasn't your fault and my son wouldn't want to hear you talking like this. He wouldn't want to see you like this. He loved you Bella and he would want to see you happy. Not like this, never like this." There was a moment of quietness, the only thing hear-able were my broken sobs, then my fathers arms left me, only to be replaced by my father-in-law, no, he's my father too, there's no father in law in it.

"It's going to be okay Bells. We're going to be fine. We'll make it through this together. You have a lot of family, you'll be okay."

"How can you say that? I lost my husband; do you know how that feels? Do you know how it feels to lose the love of your life? No, so no, don't you dare tell me it's going to be all right. 'Cause nothings ever going to be all right again, never." I yanked my body away from him and headed to my old room that, thanks to my dad, has been remodeled and repainted a light yellow. I couldn't stand it if I had to look at the room where we declared ourselves…

"Can you believe that your dad is actually letting us share a room? I thought the chief of police would have strict rules when it came to his daughter."

"Oh babe, he does, that's why you're sleeping over there.' I said amusingly pointing to a cot on the floor across the room from my bed." I laughed as Jacobs face scrunched up into a scowl.

"The floor Bells? It's going to be cold and hard and-"

"You're such a baby, Jake. It's just until my dad pops his head into the door to see that everything is up to his standards then you can jump right into bed with me. Then in the morning you can wake up at the crack of dawn to get back onto your cot before Charlie pops his head back in. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yeah, I think I can manage that, but I don't know if you're worth the trouble of getting shot if I'm caught."

"To hell with you Jacob-no middle name-Black, and to think, I would have taken the bullet for you. That sure does tell me how committed you are to us." I joked, and in less then a second his arm was around my waist and he was pulling me to my bed.

We landed on the soft mattress with a few over exaggerated sighs and then we were silent, or at least I was. "You know I would take a bullet for you, don't you? I would take as many bullets as need be for you Bella Marie. I Love you."

My heart convulsed and then stopped beating all together. Love, he just said it and he's not trying to take it back. I turned in his arms to face him only to see that very word being portrayed beautifully on his face. I poked him skeptically, and honestly I just needed to see if he were real.

"Are you sure?" I asked dubiously. He smiled softly and pulled me fully on top of him. This would be a very compromising position if Charlie just so happened to walk in.

"Am I sure? I've never been surer of anything in my entire life. You, Bella Marie Swan, are the girl I'm in love with. Te amo mi muchacha hermosa. Le amaré siempre y un día le haré la mina por siempre, prometo."

"And what does all that mean? I hate that I took French instead of Spanish in high school." I pouted.

"Roughly translated it means; I love you and I will always love you my beautiful girl, I promise."

"That's it? It seems like there should be more to it then just that. Don't get me wrong, that was beautiful and I'll love you forever too, but-" I was abruptly cut off by his lips smashing into mine violently. Of course I didn't have a problem with it and of course my dad would find that to be the perfect time to enter my room.

"Okay," My father interrupted. Jacob jumped from underneath me, which, as always, resulted in me being on the floor. "Jacob, you get the couch, Bell? If I catch him in this room again, you're 'boyfriend' will be missing a few of his manly parts. Got it?" My father walked away and left me with a bug eyed, nose flaring Jacob.

"Jake?"

"You love me." He said as he recovered from my father's threat. "You just said you loved me, Bella. You just said it."

"I've said it before." I argued, trying quickly to recall the other moments I spoke those binding words.

"No, you haven't. I think I would have remembered it."

"Maybe you have a bad memory." I suggested.

"Never, not for something as wonderful as that, you loving me, and me loving you. God I'm happy. How did I get so lucky Bell?"

"Because you said 'hello'."

I lay in bed for days, my father checking on me only two times a day. I refuse to eat, to sleep, to move. I refuse to live. Why should I, when he doesn't. How does one 'muddle through' the rest of their life without their other half? It's impossible and I refuse to try.

Friday morning my father woke me and demanded that I eat something. He sat on the edge of my bed with a tray of food. I stared at him as if he'd grown two heads. He was a foreign creature to me, one I didn't understand, or recognized. A little over an hour later he gave up and left my room. I fell into a dreamless slumber…

I awoke to both sides of my bed being sunken in. I didn't open my eyes to see what was going on, but I knew, even if I didn't want to see, I knew. I knew because they would always be there for me. No matter the distance, or the problem, they will always be there, like I'd be there for them.

I turned over into the familiar smell of one million by Paco Rabanne. It was the same aftershave that Ben has been wearing since the ninth grade. He thought that Paco would help him find many women, but it only helped him find one, and honestly I don't think it was Paco that did it, I think it was all Ben.

I felt two pairs of arms encircle my waist and I knew that they understood, even if their love is only one person away, they understand. It's always been that way with us three. When one of us felt pain the other two some how felt it too. It's nothing we wished upon each other, but it was something we had to endure.

"Bell, you have to get up." Angela whispered into my ear. "We only have a few hours, then we need to be at the site. You have to be there. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't say goodbye."

"Angie?" Ben warned. Ben was always protective of me. He was my best friend before he was Angela's boyfriend. We grew up together, he was practically my brother, but when he met Angie and invited her into our little 'club'- if you will, it completed us.

"Bells, I don't know how you feel, I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm here, forever. We both are." He promised.

"No ones here forever, Jacobs not here and I don't want to be here."

"Don't talk like that, damn it Bells! You can't do this to yourself. You've lost, but you're strong, you've always been strong. You can get through this, if you can't, then how are we?"

Ben and Angie loved and respected Jacob. The moment they met him, they accepted him into our little 'club'. I was stunned, but truly thankful, because I knew I would love Jacob and I needed them to approve of him and they did.

"If you're not up in the next ten minutes, I'm going to drag your ass out of here Bell, I mean that shit. You're getting your ass up and you're going to go pay your respects to your husband. You're going to sit in that damn wooden chair in the front row and respect him, and if I have to tie you to that damn chair then I will. Now get moving." He ordered in a broken tone.

I haven't seen Ben cry since we were six and I stole his bag of Laffy Taffy's. The site of him so broken made me sob and break down. I cried hysterically into his chest until he pulled away and turned me over to Angie.

"I'm going to wait downstairs, Angie. You have about twenty-nine minutes to get her ready. If you need me call me. Bella, I know you can here me, and I just want you to know that I love you and that I'm here, please don't do anything stupid that will take you away from us, because I won't live through that." With that he left the room.

When I was sure Ben wasn't in hearing distance, I leaned across the bed, away from Angela and hurled into the small bucket my father had sat on side of the bed upon my arrival. The doctors said I might have vomiting as a side affect, but I just didn't think it would be true. There's nothing in there anymore, why am I still suffering from that?

A/N: "Death ends a life, not a relationship."-Robert Benchley quotes