I'm Sorry: A Twilight Fanfiction

BPOV:

After he left, I realized that I couldn't live without him. He never loved me, he never really cared, and all those times he saved me…they never meant a thing to him. And I was devastatingly in love with someone who would never love me back. So, I started planning my demise.

I pretended I was okay for Charlie on that fateful Saturday afternoon, and I even waved and mouthed 'I love you' from the window as he pulled out of the driveway in the cruiser. He was going fishing with Harry and Billy down in La Push, and today was the perfect day.

Yes, I'd begun to look forward to it…to have a longing towards this day all week. I had a reaction to this day like most people would with their birthday.

Walking deliberately, I stepped toward the jacket hooks. I slid Charlie's gun out of the holster, grabbed the keys to my truck out of my jacket pocket, and balled them up in my fist.

I opened the front door, and no one was outside. I walked to my truck and got in. I set the gun in the passenger's seat and set off.

Soon, I was there. My body was heaving with sobs of agony as I thrust the unlocked door to the Cullen mansion open. The gun was heavy and I carried it with me up the stairs…as I walked to his room. I opened the door to it and everything was still in its place. So, as I spotted a pen and paper on his nightstand, I thought it must have been meant to be.

Hmm, I hadn't planned on writing a note, but it might be better if I did. So they'll know what I was thinking. I set the gun down for a second and grabbed the pen. My hand shook as I scrawled my last good-bye onto the paper. It read:

I'm sorry, Dad, that I couldn't get over him…and no matter what I want you to know, I love you. I truly am sorry.

I'm sorry, Mom, you always tried to be there for me and help me in everyway possible. He cut me too deep for you to heal me. I love you and will miss your ways.

Phil, I'm sorry I won't be there to help take care of Mom, but I know you can do it. I love you too.

I'm sorry Alice, I guess I wasn't a good enough best friend for you to stay around…I would've gone on a thousand shopping trips for you if you'd stayed. I will always love and remember you and Jasper.

I'm sorry Rosalie, for not being the type of person you would approve of for your brother. I will still love and miss you even though you didn't like me.

Emmet, I'm sorry I wasn't funny enough for my favorite videogame partner to stick around either. I love you too, Teddy bear, forever.

Carlisle and Esme, you were the most compassionate and loving people I'd ever met. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for your family. I will never forget you and will always love you.

Edward, I will always love you no matter what, but I just can't live without you. I'm sorry it had to end this way. I wish I had been better matched for you. Please don't ever forget me.

For anyone else I didn't mention above like Angela, Jessica, and the rest… I'm sorry too. I love you guys.

Good-bye.

Isabella Marie Swan.

Tears had stained the letter all over it and had even smudged my handwriting a little, but I was too far gone to care. I grabbed the gun and whispered, "I'm sorry." And I pulled the trigger.

I was enveloped in blackness and nothingness…I didn't feel anything except the quiet. Then, a sudden release came over me, and I got a glimpse of my dead body (it wasn't a pretty scene) before being thrust into a highly unfamiliar area. There were many strangers there…and I developed some Class A Claustrophobia and fainted. (I didn't know it was possible after death!)

EPOV:

This is IT! It's been less than a month and I can't stay away from her! It is only October 5th! I am going back to back to Forks, and I will tell my family now! I can't live without her.

I walked into the family room, where everyone was sitting silently. I scanned their thoughts…

Sigh, I can't believe he made me leave my best friend! Well, guess what I HAVE TO GO BACK! I am going crazy without her…Jazzy can't even calm me down! ~Alice

Gosh, I still can't believe that Edward left Bella…and it's all my fault! I should go back and apologize to her…~Jasper

She was part of the family, I can't believe it still…I feel horrible…~Esme

She was like a daughter to me, and I know she's heartbroken…even though my son only did what he thought was best…I can't imagine how much she's suffering though…~Carlisle

Aww, man! I miss my fragile lil' klutzy sis! Why'd Edward have to go and mess things up? ~Emmet

Oh crap…I can't believe how mean I was to Bella and then we just took off…she really was such a caring and kind soul…I wish I'd been nicer to her…~Rosalie

I winced, and they all looked up at me. Sadness was evident in all of their faces; I can't believe what I've done. I finally spoke,

"I'm going back to Forks. You can come if you want, but I need her back. Yes or no?"

"YES!" Emmet and Alice exclaimed simultaneously.

"If you wouldn't mind us coming, son, we'd love to." said Carlisle. Esme nodded spastically.

"Yeah, I have something I want to tell her. I'm in." said Jasper.

"Me, too." Rosalie said, smiling a little.

I mentally rejoiced and said, "Well, what are we waiting for…we're at a running distance, we only moved to Portland, Oregon."

They all nodded enthusiastically, and we ran out the door. All of our thoughts were in sync. We pictured the face of my beautiful angel, Bella, and I sped up. We were only two miles away from our old house now, and the excitement was increasing in us all. We were to stop there and freshen up and then to go visit Bella at her home.

We finally reached the house and a police cruiser was there, but it didn't belong to Charlie though. We walked through the front door with worried expressions and immediately saw two policemen in our living room, discussing an apparently important matter.

"Excuse me, but why are you in my house…and what is wrong?" Carlisle said confusedly.

They glanced at each other uneasily, and one spoke, "Dr. Cullen, I am very sorry but this should clear up any questions you might have. I am Deputy Weber, and this Officer Marks and Officer Stevens."

He handed Carlisle the paper and we all leaned in to read it. We read at human pace and were all horrified by what we read. I blocked the other thoughts…I even blocked out the collective gasp…I blocked out everything except her face…my angel, Bella Swan, was dead?! And it was all my fault…I fell to my knees and put my head in my hands, and Alice slowly fell beside me. Then, Jasper crouched beside Alice and hugged her tightly. She dry-sobbed into his shoulder, and I just sat there thinking, what have I done?! I looked up at the rest of my family, and Rosalie and Emmet's faces were crumpled in horror. Esme's face was buried into Carlisle's neck, and Carlisle stared at the paper in open-mouthed shock.

"Where…did it…take place…and where…is Charlie?" Carlisle said, his voice a broken whisper.

"The room it happened in was the one with a big black chaise, tons of books and CD's, no bed…that one." Deputy Weber said. I winced again…it was my room, of course she would-I couldn't think the word-in my room…I deserved this.

"Chief Swan ain't here…he can't bear it. I think he might be at his house…he's in bad shape." said Officer Stevens.

"Yeah, he's at home…we gave him 10 personal days off. I think you guys should go see him." Officer Marks.

Alice got off of the floor and Jasper did the same, his arms still wrapped around her waist.

"When…is the…w-wake…and funeral services…? We have to go too…she is…I mean was…my best friend… Jasper I can't handle this!" She moaned and turned around, clutching Jasper.

"They'll be held tomorrow, starting at 11:00 AM for the wake. And I know how ya feel, hon, my daughter was real close to…Bella too." Deputy Weber said mournfully.

"Oh…Angela must be who you're talking about…we never knew her but she was always nice to…Bella, especially." Rosalie said in an almost calm voice, but her voice wavered as she said the name and we all winced again.

"Thank you, I think we'll let you finish up your business here and go pay Charlie a visit." Carlisle decided. They nodded sadly and we all filed out of our home, feeling too numb and empty hearted to speak.

We walked to the garage and went in, Carlisle and Esme to his Mercedes, and everyone else to my Volvo. I tried to get in the driver's seat, but Emmet pushed me back.

"No, Edward. You've been through more than anyone today…let me-" Emmet was cut off.

"Yes, Edward, let Emmet get me to drive. You know you're hurting almost as bad, Em, she was our little sister…I should drive…I never took the time to know her like you guys…I'm hurting the least, I'll bet." Rosalie said. I knew it was stupid to protest so I just climbed into the backseat, where Alice and Jasper already sat.

"I'm sorry Edward, I should've been focusing on her future…we could've stopped it…it's all my fault…I just want to DIE." She whispered.

"We ALL want to die, Alice. But, it's not your fault…I should've never left. If you want to blame anyone, blame me." I said miserably. She wrapped her tiny arms around me and I hugged her back. But I still noticed that when I said we all wanted to die, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet nodded in agreement.

We finally got to Charlie's and I could smell her faintly…it was an old scent. A scent that I loved dearly and would miss…because I would never see her again. They got out, but I couldn't move…I felt paralyzed until Emmet dragged me out of my car. I found a way to get up, then. We walked solemnly to the door and Carlisle knocked. He and Esme were in front, Jasper, Alice and I were behind them, and Emmet and Rosalie were behind us. We didn't notice another car parked beside us, we were too upset to care.

A person I barely recognized as Charlie answered the door. His hair was knotted and unkempt, he had 5 o' clock shadow (usually he was clean cut), he had dark circles under his eyes, which were a lifelessly dull brown, and his skin was deathly pale except for his nose which was bright red…and there were tear stains on his cheeks.

"The…C-Cullens…? Wha-what are you doing here?" Charlie blinked in shock. Then, he saw me...his pale skin turned red...

And that, my dear readers, is the end of chapter 1. I hope you enjoyed it! BTW, this story is dedicated to a lovely writer named…drum-roll please…Zombie's Run This Town! Whoo! This is a spin-off of her awesome story, Tastes Like Suicide. Check it out, please! I know it seems way off from her story, but it's only a little bit similar. REVIEW and tell me what you think, but don't flame me too hard…some people do and it really hurts because I work hard on my stories and people sometimes treat them like crap.

Love, ~I'mEdWaRd'SlAtUaCaNtAnTe (aka, AlphaxQueen)