Pinch Me, I'm Dreaming
In which Sasuke wakes up in the bed of a blonde dobe who will stop at nothing to have said Uchiha pounding inside of him. SasuNaru lemon, yaoi. Don't like, don't read.
A/N
Naruto: Oh, COME ON! I only got to be seme once in your stories! ONCE! And now here I am, super-OOC-submissive-person-chan!
Heheh, I know!
Sasuke: Because he was seme, I must mark him as my own again, letting the public know that HE is MINE, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
Okaaaaaaaay… How do you plan on doing that?
Sasuke: Doing him, filming it, and giving out the tapes for free.
Suh-WEET!
Naruto: -.-' I'd really like to know how many times I can possibly lose my virginity… I mean, look at all those thousands of fanfics, each with a different version of me getting screwed for the first time. How can they all be my first time?
The power of yaoi fandom. :P
Upon waking up, Sasuke immediately realized that he was NOT in his own bed, sighing as he tugged at the handcuffs. What MORON had thought for even a second that they could rape the mighty Uchiha Sasuke? Well, he'd kick their ass and report them to Tsunade later. What if it's a girl? Nah, I'll still kick their ass… No perverted thoughts intended, of course. It makes me debate on whether or not to let people know I'm gay… That way girls would stop bothering me. But then, I'd have to deal with guys, who almost always try to be seme… And there's no way I'm going to let someone even THINK about being MY seme. No, I shall be seme, and seme alone! Especially to that perfect little blonde… It's too bad Naruto likes Sakura, though. He'd make the perfect uke… What is it that makes me find him cute? His hair is all spiky, like some wannabe-punk… Then again, my hair is spiked in the back… But I actually manage to fulfill the title of punk, while he's just too short and adorable… Speaking of hair, I wonder if he's naturally blonde? Is he part American? I doubt he'd spend money of hair-dye when it makes him look less threatening… And it'd take away from the money he needs to buy ramen…
Ah, yes. Uchiha Sasuke was silent and deadly because his thoughts tended to get the best of him… Who wouldn't fantasize of being surrounded by hundreds of Narutos? No, not just hundreds of Narutos. Hundreds of Narutos that were soaked with rainwater! And wearing white! No, even better… Hundreds of commando Narutos with white silk shorts, soaked with rainwater. Yes, THAT was perfect. Or maybe Naruto screaming underneath him as he pounded- Oh, crap, the door's opening! Ah, well. Hey, wait… Why is…
In walked Naruto, with a pink but calm face that read, "I'm horny and I'm not afraid to admit it."
"Sas…u…ke…" Naruto droned, walking over. Holy crap… He's in white boxers! I'm dreaming, dreaming, dreaming… Oh, come on, if it's a dream why can't it start raining? Rain, rain, rain!
"Sasuke…" Naruto repeated, eyes half lidded, face bright red like he was drunk. "Does Sasuke-sama wanna play with Naru-chan?"
HELL YES! Damn, he's cute when he's like this… I wonder what put him in this state? Nonetheless, the Uchiha managed to keep a straight face, as usual, not responding to Naruto's words. The blonde crawled onto the bed-made for one-and straddled him.
"What are you doing, dobe?" Sasuke asked, cold, despite how much he just wanted to let loose a mega-nosebleed. This is a shame. He seems to want to be seme, considering I'm handcuffed. I'll have to teach him his rightful place, then… Hey, what's that pink wire-like thing coming out of the top of his boxers?
Noticing that Sasuke was looking past him and at the wire, Naruto smiled slightly and asked, "Does Sasuke-sama wanna see?" Without waiting for Sasuke's response (which would have been yes, of course) he started to pull his boxers down, slowly and seductively. Screw the wire, the Uchiha thought, unable to tear his eyes of Naruto himself. I'm about to see the best part!
Easing both his legs out of the clothing he was wearing, Naruto finally dropped them to the floor and sat down on Sasuke's clothed groin, smirking as he felt how hard the Uchiha was.
Naruto is sitting on top of me, naked, with his hands behind his back so I get this great view… Must… Resist… Nosebleed… Oh, wait, the wire; what was it leading to?
As if hearing Sasuke's thoughts, the Jinchuuriki got up slightly, and turned around, hands and knees on either side of the raven-haired shinobi and giving him a perfect view of his ass, which bore a vibrator in its tight grip. The vibrator had a pink color too it, and wasn't too thick; only about the size of someone's finger, though it was most certainly longer. As Naruto picked up the remote at the other end of the wire, Sasuke saw that the words, "Vibrator for Virgins," written in black.
"It isn't big, but it still hurt," Naruto purred. "I put it in just for you. I haven't turned it on yet, though… Do you wanna watch me play with my new toy?"
With wide eyes, Sasuke slowly nodded.
At that, the Jinchuuriki took the remote and turned the dial up to '1.' Sasuke could see it vibrate slightly, for Naruto was still in the same position. The blonde carefully turned the dial up to '5,' and his face became redder than it was in the first place. By now the Uchiha could hear the device give a low humming sound.
"Ah… Ah… HyaAH!" Naruto moaned, turning his head around to see that Sasuke was watching intently. "Mmm… Do you wanna be inside me, Sasuke-sama?" he asked. "Do you wanna fuck my virgin ass? I promise I'll be nice and tight for your big, hard dick as you slam my prostate and release all that warm cum into me…"
"Hai…" Sasuke said in practically a whisper, awe-struck by the sight of the whole thing. Even if he had to break out of those handcuffs, he was going to have his way.
Naruto turned the dial up to 15, the maximum setting, and began panting heavily, before finally turning around to face the Uchiha, without turning the device off. "Just think of me as nothing more than your sex slave…" he drawled. "You're my master and I'm your lowly bitch." With that, he leaned in for a kiss.
As soon as Naruto pulled away, he turned the vibrator off and slowly pulled it out. After laying it down on the floor, he moved down Sasuke's body to face the zipper of his pants. Without a word, he unzipped them and pulled them down, along with the seme's boxers. As soon as the Uchiha's erection came into view, he started to suck it.
First, he lapped at the tip, eventually moving his head up and down. Sasuke seemed to get bored with this very quickly, as he began thrusting. Wanting to please his seme, Naruto began deep-throating the Uchiha, occasionally swallowing the mixture of precum and saliva. Taking the rod out of his mouth for a moment, the blonde sucked his sack, panting heavily as he did so. "You taste really, really good," he moaned, going back to the tip. "Mmm…"
Sasuke groaned, thrusting upwards into Naruto's mouth again. This is so much better than being alone in the middle of the night! "Baka… Put it in your ass already!" Can't you see how much I want to fuck that tight little hole?
With a slight laugh, the blonde pulled his head away and moved forward so he was above Sasuke's cock. Slowly but surely, he lowered himself upon it. "Oh…" he moaned as it went in. "It hurts… But it's really, really good at the same time… Hah… You're so fucking big…" Tears trickled down the side of his face, but Naruto didn't stop. "Ah… It's almost inside…" After one long minute, the Uchiha felt himself completely inside the Kyuubi vessel.
After spending some time clenching and unclenching his muscles, he finally asked, "Does it feel good inside me, Sasuke? I'm ready to get a good fucking now… Won't that be great? Ah… I can feel you pulsing inside my ass… Should I move now?"
After all this, it turns out he was planning on being uke all along… "Yes, dobe."
Slowly, Naruto pulled himself up and dropped himself down, giving a high-pitched whine as his prostate was hit. After awhile, he picked up the pace. A small slapping sound could be heard every time his rear hit Sasuke's scrotum. "Ah… Am I tight enough for you? Tight enough for your big dick?"
That was it. With an annoyed grunt, Sasuke pulled his hands apart and broke the handcuffs. Within seconds, he had flipped them both over, and was holding Naruto's legs on either side of the boy's body. "This is where you belong… Underneath me," he growled, and began thrusting.
"Nyaa…" the Jinchuuriki moaned, nodding as Sasuke pounded into him. "Oh… Please… Harder… It feels so good! AH! Yes, it's good, so good! KYA!"
Much better. Finally, it was as it should have been in the first place; with Naruto begging desperately for more and Sasuke being the one in charge.
"Ah… Please, more!"
Now it's my turn to use dirty talk. "Fucking bitch."
"Nn… Sasuke… Master… Hah… I'm gonna… Oh… Fuck…"
Then, Sasuke stopped. Naruto whined as the pressure inside him wasn't released. "Oh… Please… Sasuke!"
"Not until I hear you beg."
"Uhnn… Please, please, please! I need you to fuck me… I need you to fuck me so bad!"
"Hn."
With that, the pounding continued.
"Do you like it? I bet it hurts real good, right?" Sasuke mused.
"Oh, yes! AH! Fuck me harder! I want to feel you more!"
The Uchiha leaned down and kissed Naruto, who whimpered. With a smirk, Sasuke said, "You want to feel me? Oh, you'll feel me, all right. This tight little ass of yours deserves to be all filled up, don't you think?"
"Yes, fill me up! Fill me up with cum! Please! It's so, so good, yes! Fuck!"
It was then that Naruto came, panting and tightening up around his seme. "AH! SO MUCH!" he cried as Sasuke released himself inside, before his limbs weakened and he was left panting heavily.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
"What the…" As his vision, which was blurred with tears, slowly came back to him, Naruto could do nothing but stare up at Sasuke.
What is Sasuke doing here? Why does my butt hurt? And most importantly, WHY AM I NAKED? Hang on, there's something inside me… Whaa?
The blonde just looked with shock as he saw Sasuke, still penetrating him. "What… What did we just… What are you doing?" he asked in a shaky voice.
Sasuke stared back, just as confused. What's wrong? "What are you talking about? You handcuffed and seduced me! How can you not know?"
"I… Did what?" Sasuke and me did the naughty-naughty? And I don't remember? Why the hell can't I remember any of this? He turned to see the headboard, and sure enough, there were a pair of broken handcuffs. Sasuke's wrists were also reddened, proof that he had been the one to snap them off. "The last thing I remember is… I started to feel really hot yesterday night, and for some reason I felt the urge to go to your house… I can't remember anything that happened next."
"You brought me here, handcuffed me to the bed, did a bunch of kinky things to yourself with a vibrator, gave me a blowjob, and then we had sex," Sasuke said. "Don't you remember any of that?"
"No… Can you please pull out of me? It hurts like hell, and I need some time to think…" Naruto replied quietly, the things they were both saying not quite sinking in.
Sasuke complied, seeing that Naruto was in complete shock; he couldn't even scream or cry. I would be too, in that situation. After pulling up his pants, he asked, "Do you want me to stay, or should I leave?"
"I'd like to be left alone for awhile…" Naruto replied weakly.
"Hai…"
After he left, Naruto just stared at the wall. "Me and Sasuke… Had sex?" I had sex. Sex. With a guy. I had sex with a guy. No, not just any guy… I had sex with Uchiha Sasuke… Slowly, he began to process what had happened. "What the hell…" he said to himself shakily. "What the hell made me… Kami-sama, I don't even know what to think…"
"You and Naruto did WHAT?" Tsunade shrieked.
"I screwed him. Unprotected. Sorry, but he started it!"
With rage in her eyes, she growled, "Irresponsible! Just think! If he were a girl, he'd be pregnant right now! PREGNANT! I don't give a damn what you two do in your personal lives, so long as you use condoms! CONDOMS! Being attracted to men doesn't give you the right to give poor Naruto AIDS!"
"Would you listen to me for a moment?" Sasuke hissed. "That isn't the point here! I'm am-I WAS-a virgin anyway, so how could I give him any sexually transmitted diseases? The point is that after the fact, he didn't remember a thing! Right now he's at home, in shock!"
"What?" Confused, the Hokage paused. After a moment of thinking, she inquired, "What season is it?"
"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"
"It's spring, right?"
"Yes, why?"
Tsunade sighed. "Mating season."
Sasuke sweatdropped. "We aren't animals!"
"Technically we are, though you're right, humans normally don't go through any noticeable heat cycles. The point is… Well… I'm not really sure if I should tell you this, but you're going to have to find out eventually…" Tsunade sighed. "After all, you're involved in all this."
"Tell me what?"
"I will assume you know how the Yondaime died."
Sasuke nodded. "Hai. The fourth Hokage died protecting the village from the Kyuubi no yoku."
"Nobody actually told you who it was that dealt the death blow to the demon, did they?"
"Iie. I assumed the fourth Hokage did it. Why?"
"Nobody did," Tsunade replied with a sigh.
Confused, Sasuke asked, "So the fox died on its own? Or did it run away? And what does that have to do with-"
"The fourth Hokage died sealing it."
"Okay," Sasuke said, "one, why hasn't anyone been told about something, and two, what does this have to do with-"
Tsunade cut him off yet again. "Demons can't be sealed within a mere scroll. They have to be sealed inside a human container; they can be inside an inanimate object for a limited amount of time, but it would break free fairly quickly. The human containers are known as Jinchuuriki."
"And?"
"You haven't figured it out by now?" Tsunade asked impatiently. "Uzumaki Naruto is the container of the Kyuubi no yoku!"
Sasuke just stared. Naruto?
"I'm gonna become Hokage, tebbeyo!" How can someone like that…
"I'll never give up!" …possible contain a demon inside him?
"You're the first one… The first one to ever pay attention to me. Thank you, Sasuke." Because of that, everyone old enough to remember must have hated him…
"I would trust you with my life!" And he trusted me anyway, even though I've always been so cold to him…
"Are you alright? I can't believe that creep bit you!" And I trusted him back…
"A strange presence in my fight with Gaara? Oh, don't worry, it was nothing, really!" I should have known that there was something else… The way he always tried to get attention… The way he always acted like such a dobe…
"What does this have to do with him forgetting?" Sasuke asked quietly.
"You're not going to believe this, but I think Naruto may be…"
"Yes?"
And then she said the last thing Sasuke expected.
"I think Naruto may be in heat."
"…"
"Well?"
"You just killed the unfolding drama."
The fifth Hokage sweatdropped. "Anyway," she said, "I'd like to ask you exactly how things went."
"Are you a yaoi fan? You're as bad as Jiraiya!"
A vein popped up on Tsunade's forehead. "YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE? I NEED TO KNOW THIS TO SEE IF THERE MAY BE A SIMPLER EXPLANATION!"
"Okay, okay! First, I woke up in Naruto's room… Handcuffed to his bed. Then he came in wearing nothing but white boxers… Sadly, they weren't wet."
"What exactly did he say?" she asked, ignoring the last remark.
Sasuke thought for a second. "He asked me if I wanted to play with him. And he called me Sasuke-sama."
"And?"
So Sasuke described the entire thing, from beginning to end, making occasional remarks about how great everything felt. Whenever he did, of course, Tsunade glared at him. Not that the mighty Uchiha minded. He was too awesome to possibly fear the wrath of a Sannin with a bad temper. Okay, maybe not. But she wouldn't kill him mid-speech, so he had nothing to fear… Right?
Anyway…
Tsunade sighed. "I'm afraid I can't think of any possible causes other than the 'in heat' theory. But I can't understand why he would so willingly be uke… Unless…"
"The Kyuubi is female?"
"No, no, no! That's not it! But I have another theory," Tsunade explained. "Demons such as the bijuu have no real genders. Despite this, they are often either feminine or masculine. The Kyuubi no yoku was by no means feminine… However, sometimes demons switch around between the two. Sometimes, a demon that has been one or the other for a long time, then switched recently before it was sealed, can give the trait that it was before to its host. In other words, I believe the Kyuubi no yoku was a feminine kind before, and therefore gave Naruto some feminine traits. I don't know why there was a sudden personality switch, but that's all I have to go on right now. I only know this because I read about it before; these sorts of things have happened to other Jinchuuriki."
"So you're telling me," Sasuke said slowly, "that he may have MORE feminine traits?"
"Perhaps," Tsunade sighed. "He's thirteen; too young to tell. I'd like it if you could bring Naruto here tomorrow so I can run some tests."
"But why did he come to me?" Sasuke asked. "He could have gone to anyone else."
"You're the closest male friend he has, most likely. What I'd really like to know is where that vibrator came from!"
"Eh?"
The vibrator? He hadn't thought about it… Did Naruto buy it after handcuffing him, or had he had it before?
Ah, well, it didn't matter.
So… It was nothing after all…
Sasuke sighed.
I thought we had something special…
The next day, Sasuke knocked on the door of Naruto's house. As he waited, he noticed how small the place was. Not even a second floor… It's about a little larger than a hotel room… On his way out the day before, he remembered seeing nothing but a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom.
Soon after he knocked, Naruto came to the door, wearing his usual orange clothes. "What is it?" he asked, uncomfortable around the Uchiha.
"Tsunade wanted to see you."
The entire walk there, Naruto was silent as a mime, and made sure to stay at least a meter away from Sasuke. Even when the Uchiha walked through the door of the building, Naruto waited until after he was sure there were other people walking through the hall before going through. He isn't comfortable being alone with me, Sasuke noticed sadly.
When they finally reached the office, Naruto slipped in, still quiet. "What do you want to speak with me about?"
"Yesterday's… Event," Tsunade replied. "I believe I have an explanation for it."
With that, she explained her theory. "And I'd like to do some tests."
"But I'm fine now!" Naruto insisted, a worried look on his face.
"It's nothing major, I promise. Just a blood test," Tsunade comforted him. "Please wait in the hall."
"H-hai…"
As soon as the door shut, Sasuke immediately asked, "Okay, what's up with him? He isn't even comfortable being in the same room with me unless someone else is there!"
"He's jumpy, and he's probably going to be that way for awhile," Tsunade sighed. "Several rape victims show similar symptoms."
"But I didn't rape him, at least not on purpose! I thought he was willing!"
"I know, I know!" Tsunade sighed. "But regardless of why, he's going to be uncomfortable around you for quite awhile. That, I can assure you."
"But… What if it does happen again?"
"I expect you to be responsible and not let it happen again! No matter what Naruto does, no matter how willing to please you he seems, your dick will not, under any circumstances, go near his rectum, or so help me I will perform PENECTOMY on you! You hear me?"
Sasuke backed away. "Yes, I hear you…"
A/N I feel so cheesy using the "I thought we had something special" line. XP But I couldn't think of anything better. Anyway… Will Sasuke resist Naruto? Or will Tsunade perform penectomy on him? Note: Penectomy, the complete removal of the penis, is often confused with castration, which is the loss of function of the testicles, surgical or otherwise.
