Author's Note: The following story contains spanking/discipline in Chapters 4 and 5. It's strictly disciplinary. Not erotic. This may be an older show, but I still love it dearly! It's one of those truly unforgettable programs. :)

Summary: Adapting a screenplay creates the ultimate challenge for Noah, but it's the way he goes about it that presents quite the dilemma for Wade. Warning: discipline/spanking of an adult male.


PAIN ET CETERA

by Evgeniya

Noah carelessly scraped his fork against the ceramic plate, easily shutting out all the noises around him. He hardly noticed the whir of the electric juicer behind him or the shatter of glass as Ricky dropped another eight ounces of orange juice in his hung-over state. He faintly heard Ojemodupe's name mentioned as Chance asked Alex for the millionth time to stop referring to him as baby OJ. Noah couldn't absorb much, but it was very likely the same conversation they had the last time and even more likely followed by the same eye roll…

Today was the first Sunday of the month, so the gang was huddled together for their monthly brunch. It was undoubtedly as chaotic as ever, but Noah made the special effort to tune out all the ruckus. With Chance, Alex, and Ricky – that was quite the feat. Noah could only hear the smaller, more subtler of noises, such as the soft rip of Alex's warm croissant, the clank of Chance setting dishes, and the crack of ice hitting water as Ricky tried to get over his headache...

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP—

Noah jumped as the oven timer went off. He knew from habit that it meant the biscuits were ready, but as he glanced around the table and at all of his friends, he realized that Chance had been calling out to him for quite some time.

"Noah…" Chance sounded admonishing at first, but he quickly softened his tone when he realized he finally had his friend's attention. "Noah," he smiled pleasantly this time. "I can't help but notice that you're a bit distracted this morning."

Noah's eyes were wide like a deer caught in the headlights as he fumbled for a response. He felt like a student who always crouched down in his seat just so he wouldn't get called on by his teacher. He both hated and cherished that his friends could always tell when his mind was weighed down. While he normally wasn't embarrassed to share every intimate details of his life with his friends, the troubles that cluttered his mind now were too excruciating to put into words.

Noah groaned and buried his face in his hands. That was precisely his problem: he just didn't have the words.

"Have you hit another writer's block?" Chance inquired knowingly.

Noah hesitated as he thought over the situation. "Well… not exactly," he mumbled into his palms.

"It's Wade," Ricky accused flatly.

"It is not!" Noah insisted defensively. His head shot up and his embarrassment was instantly replaced with offense

Noah soon realized how easily he became the central focus of their monthly brunch. Again.

It was unnerving and frustrating, but that was an effect his friends usually had on him. Their overprotectiveness of him often teetered on complete annoyance

But their hearts were in the right place. So, Noah took a deep breath. He could feel Chance watching him closely and his friend's endless patience was a quality he didn't always feel deserving of. At this moment, he felt just like a grad student all over again.

"It's a work thing," Noah finally blurted out in order to relieve the pressure of having every eye on him. He didn't want his friends to turn his dilemma into some drama about Wade. His husband felt enough like an outcast already.

The gang collectively groaned. Although Noah was relieved to finally be free of their aggravating gazes, he still immediately took insult. "Well, excuse me if work doesn't come as easily to me as it does to all of you!" he spat. "Not all of us have the luxury of being our own boss!"

Recognizing Noah's familiar unease, Chance acted as any proper professor should. He quickly settled everyone down with just one look. He even waited a moment until he was sure everything was quiet. Then he focused his attention back on Noah. "Are you keeping up with your deadline?" he asked with concern.

Noah winced.

"Noah…" Chance scolded with terrible softness.

"Well… I…" Noah continued to stumble over his sentences, but Chance continued his interrogation anyways,

"Are you not properly motivated?"

Noah exhaled heatedly, but refused to look him in the eye. "Trust me. I'm not the one who isn't properly motivated."

Again, everyone at the table groaned and muttered beneath their breath.

Chance simply ignored all the judgmental grumbles. "I sense this may have something to do with Wade after all," he stated clearly and folded his napkin into his lap. His brunch would just have to wait.

Noah raised an eyebrow at Chance's suddenly curt tone, but still did not look up. Instead, he awkwardly listened to the heel of his boot tapping against the linoleum tile. It took all of his efforts not to face Chance's expectant gaze.

"Fine," Chance sighed irritably. "But if you're not precise, we cannot help you. We need to know exactly what is wrong before we can go on. I'm sorry we couldn't be of more help."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Alex suddenly interrupted and banged his spoon against his mimosa. "Wade and work? Don't tell me you're collaborating on another script! Grrrr, for as much as you two love each other, you just cannot play nice!"

Noah shifted in his seat. "Nooo… We're not working together. Not really. I have a new project. Just me."

"Noah," Chance glowed. "That's fantastic news! We shouldn't be here having brunch at your house. We should be out celebrating!"

Noah again shifted in his seat.

"Wade and work…" Ricky reiterated reflectively as he leaned over the table. He smugly mulled over the situation as he gnawed on a breakfast sausage. "I take it Wade is jealous of your newfound fame?"

"That's not it at all!" Noah defended heatedly. Then he quickly calmed himself down. "Besides, 'Fine Art' wasn't as successful as any of Wade's scripts. I'm nowhere near on my way to becoming famous. Plus, he's the only reason I work at Paramount, so obviously he's not jealous!"

Ricky shrugged, but still continued to look smugly at Noah.

Noah tried to shake off his frustration, but he quickly realized that his friends would never let this go. Even worse, they wouldn't understand. As much as he hoped that they knew each well enough to read minds, he knew that he would just have to explain the situation. In his own words…

His own horrible, unreliable, and presently missing words.

Noah bit his lip and dug into his bag. He eventually tossed a paperback novel onto the table. He kept it hidden beside him on the slim chance that his friends would ask him about work. If he had to get through this conversation, he would need the assistance of props.

"Brandy asked me to adapt that into a screenplay," Noah sighed. His tight tone let everyone know he was distressed.

"What is that?!" Ricky asked, sounding repulsed just as much as he sounded intrigued. He dropped his fork along with his breakfast sausage and soon his hands were all over the novel. "The Bold and the Bound?" he nearly laughed, but his eyes never left the risqué cover.

Not appreciating his mocking tone, Noah quickly snatched the book away. "Perhaps now you understand what my problem is," he pouted and tried to bury the novel in his bag once more.

"No, give it back!" Ricky said, managing to sound both apologetic and demanding at the same time. Then he grabbed for the book once again. He cleared his throat from the sting of the previous night's whiskey and read the front cover aloud. "Reader's discretion is advised: The following text contains explicit descriptions of romantic activity…"

Ricky's mouth quivered before he could finish the sentence. He bit his lip and raised an eyebrow at Noah, but no one was fooled by his pathetic attempt to hide his laughter.

"I'm sorry!" Ricky finally burst with laughter. "I just… since when do they add warnings to girly romance novels? People pay specifically for the explicity! And who refers to sex as romantic activity? Sex is a lot of things, but very rarely is it romantic."

"Shut up and give it here!" Alex seized the book from Ricky and carefully examined the cover. "Grrrr, what you complaining about? I wish they had me reading this smut at work. I have to be more realistic when we talk about romance. I always have to hand out condoms before I talk about…" Alex squinted his eyes just to make sure he was reading the text correctly. "…fucking a guy with a silver stiletto heel? Are you crazy?!"

"Alright, enough jokes!" Noah said with a scowl as he reclaimed the book. "I'm sorry I even mentioned it. Let's forget all about it."

"I hope they're promoting safe sex in that thing," Alex continued as he turned his nose up at the novel. "They're gonna need it with all that kinky ass shit. Whatever happened to safe and consensual?"

"It's a fictional story set in a fictional world so that stuff don't matter," Noah mumbled quietly and Chance quickly recognized the sulky tone.

"May I see it?" Chance asked politely. When he caught the younger man's eyes, he smiled warmly at him and nodded. The book was soon in his hand.

Chance casually removed his reading glasses from his front pocket. He cleared his throat and quickly chose to ignore the bare chested man on the front cover. Instead, he skipped the cover altogether and immediately turned the book around and read the description silently to himself. Since Noah didn't seem eager to disclose his precise problem, Chance took it upon himself to read aloud certain excerpts from the summary that stood out to him:

"Colby Stone has a libido that can't be tamed," he began over-maturely. "Suddenly, she meets the handsome and mysterious Garrison Channing and is sucked into his dark world of BDSM. With Garrison's skills and expertise, Colby finally gets the orgasm she's been aching for, but what will be the price for falling in love with this rich millionaire?"

Chance slowly put the book down. For the most part, he fought hard to keep his lips from curling into a goofy grin. In his defense, he was much more successful than Ricky.

"I expected more from you," Noah sighed admonishingly and then once again hid the book.

Seeing how uncomfortable Noah was about the situation, Chance quickly reined in his laughter. "It's not that bad," he firmly assured. "It's a new, sexy contemporary romance novel from a New York Times best seller. If anything, it's an investigation of hegemonic masculinity. You should be honored to have your name on such a project."

"Bullshit!" Noah spat as Chance flinched. "I have to adapt a hit Hollywood movie from a trash novel that was meant to be read once and then tossed?! There's no honor in that! I was supposed to write original stories! Not glorify the growing tendency to commodify sexual relations with women! I never even slept with a woman! I have no idea what I'm doing!"

Chance patiently nodded at Noah. At times like this, when Noah got all flustered, he still saw him as one of his students and he was determined to work it out with him. "This isn't the first time you've been forced to write about a subject you weren't familiar with. What's the real problem here, Noah?"

Noah looked away. He tried to shake away his blush, but ultimately decided that it was best to remain calm and honest. "It's the blind leading the blindfolded," he admitted slowly. "I know nothing about this stuff. I've never been fucked by a shoe!"

"Thank God for that," Alex whispered and stole the last sip of Ricky's mimosa while he was battling his laughter.

"And perhaps that's for the better," Chance encouraged, easily ignoring the snickering from the table. "It gives the audience a fresh perspective. Imagination is a strong resource. You just have to read the book. No one expects you to actually live it."

Noah crossed his arms. He shook his head, but refused to respond.

Chance chewed at his inner cheek. "Brandy wouldn't have given you this assignment if she didn't believe in you," he pointed out honestly.

Still, Noah was silent.

Chance soon raised an eyebrow. "What else?" he demanded.

Noah felt his face go hot. He didn't want to admit it, so very quickly he murmured, "I asked Wade for help…"

Unfortunately, it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

"WHAT?!" Every eye at the table was back on Noah and he could feel himself cringing endlessly.

"Relax!" Noah tried to assure. "Wade said no."

"Well, I'm not surprised," Ricky huffed. "The man tries something new every ten years."

Chance shot Ricky a particularly reproachful look. Then he turned back to Noah. "What exactly did you ask Wade to help with?"

Noah inhaled sharply. He delayed his answer by scratching the back of his neck. "Well… different things… everything… just... you know."

"Essentially any sex act in the book?" Chance offered knowingly.

"Yeah. More or less. Except for the shoe thing."

Chance sighed and tried to get comfortable in his chair as he prepared his response. "Eddie and I tried that without much success," he admitted softly. "Once the novelty of role play wears off, you're still left with the same, ordinary man that you wake up to every single morning."

Noah grimaced irritably. "This wasn't some desperate attempt to spice up a failing relationship! I asked him for help!"

Chance took a calm breath and ignored the underlying, brutal truth. "Alright. Enough about me and Eddie. How exactly did Wade respond?"

Noah sighed. "He said that sex like that caters to an abusive and intolerant stereotype and that Hollywood movies are becoming an organ of gay propaganda."

The pause lasted longer than he liked. As soon as Noah raised his eyes to question everyone, the group moaned in unison.

"Will someone please tell that boy he's been gay-married for the past year!" Alex shouted. Then he added, "Legally!"

Chance calmly shook his head at Alex. This conversation wasn't about that. "You have to remember, Wade's only serious relationship was to Noah. He's constantly comparing it to others'. He's not as comfortable with himself as we all are. When he feels inadequate, he gets defensive."

"I don't want him to get defensive," Noah declared. "I want him to get assertive!"

Chance carefully laid his hand over Noah's. "You helped Wade confront his sexuality. He finally accepted himself. Let him be comfortable for a while."

"But why does sex always have to be on his terms?"

"Because it's his body, too," Chance answered clearly. "It doesn't matter who's the recipient of these actions. Wade is still involved. If he's uncomfortable performing these actions, then that's the end of it. It may change in time, but for now… it is what it is."

Noah thought it over. "Well, the idea was sort of imposed on him…"

"There you go. Wade probably fears that he cannot possibly live up to your expectations. Let him process the information first. That will give you time to reevaluate exactly what it is you want. Is this a part of your relationship that you seriously want to explore? Or are you just doing this to have some writing material to fall back on? I know Wade will do anything to make you happy. So, if he said 'no,' it's because he knows it won't truly make you happy."

Noah attempted a weak smile. He started to come to his senses, but then Ricky squeezed his way between the two.

"Or maybe…" Ricky interrupted as he slapped Chance's hand away from Noah so he could wrap his own arm around him. "It is possible that Wade's the one who wants to be dominated? You thought you were Colby this whole time, but maybe you're meant to be Garrison in this story. After all, who wouldn't want to be turned into a fuck toy?"

Noah winced. "Um… actually, Ricky… Colby is the one who dominates Garrison. Why would you think otherwise?"

"Because there is a hierarchic gender order controlled by the culturally dominant," Chance stated firmly as he quickly shoved Ricky away from Noah. "And that results in the marginalization of subordinate variants, which includes any and all forms of femininity."

"You think I don't know what that means, but in truth I just don't care," Ricky assured proudly. His threw his arm back around Noah's neck and pulled him tight against his cheek. "All I know is: you can always count on your friends. If Wade cannot give you what you need, I'm here for you, babe. Now and always."

Chance groaned. "Oh, God, no…"

"I'm taking you out tonight!" Ricky revealed. "Just you and me! We'll head on over to Pain Etc where you can be a first-hand witness to pain and pleasure!"

"Pain Etc?" Alex grumbled. "The bouncers totally frisk your ass with a metal detector out front. I ain't going through that without a shot of something and you know them sex clubs don't serve alcohol!"

Ricky strained to smile. "Well, then you don't have to come!" he hissed between his teeth.

"He's not," Chance answered definitely. "And neither is Noah."

Noah snorted. "What?! Why not?"

Chance blinked his eyes in disbelief. "Noah… you just cannot go to a sex club without asking Wade first. That's… a notion that is completely inconceivable to me."

"He'd just say no!"

"All the more reason to tell him," Chance said simply. "Your relationship was already destroyed once by deceit and secrecy. When you two entered a partnership, you agreed not to hide things anymore."

"Who's hiding anything?" Noah threw his napkin down on the table. "Wade knows I go to clubs. There's no t there."

"I'm not so sure about that." Chance pointed an accusing finger at the younger man. "You have an ulterior motive for this one and you already know how Wade feels about this."

Noah looked insulted. "Do you really think I'm going to do something I would regret? Or compromise my relationship with Wade in anyway?"

"Of course not!" Chance frowned. "But I know for a fact that Wade would not be happy with you going to a place like Pain Etc. Certainly not at that time of night. Especially after your attack at the gas station. Hell, it's an idea that even I'm not comfortable with it!"

"This place is completely safe," Noah assured desperately. "It's on a crowded, well-lit street and it's not like I'd be there alone. I'll have Ricky."

"Yeah," Ricky smiled and planted a kiss on Noah's cheek. "He'll have me. I won't let anything happen to him."

Chance rolled his eyes in disgust. He already saw the sultry look smoldering in Ricky's eyes and knew instantly he'd bail at the first available leather-clad ass. Chance tapped his finger irritably on the table and asked, "What exactly do you expect to get out of this evening?"

Noah smiled then shrugged. "That's easy. I just wanna look!"

Chance frowned. "This venture no longer sounds work-related."

Noah sighed and looked down at the folded hands in his lap. "I'm admittedly a hopeless romantic myself. I have no idea how regular folks should react to this sort of change. Or how they should feel. I mean, how can an affection as perfect as love blossom from something as ugly as shame or humiliation or restriction? Without the right emotions, I have nothing to base my writing on besides my own misconceptions." Noah paused to take a deep breath. "I don't ever want my scripts to sound inauthentic, Chance. I'm already seen as inexperienced according to the bigwigs at the studio. I only ever had one script go into production. I just can't write a story I feel no connection to."

A small pang of sympathy rushed through Chance. He desperately wanted to console Noah and assure him that he should have more faith in his creative mind, but then his eyes wandered behind the younger man and he saw the dreamy look plastered on Ricky's face. Ricky was itching to go out anyways, and Noah's honest admission simply made him more determined to drag the young man along with him.

Chance knew he no longer had any say in the matter, but he could still prevent Noah from spiraling downward.

"Then I'm coming, too," Chance reluctantly declared. "With Eddie," he added without argument. "Alex? Do you think you could get Trey to come along as well?"

Alex almost burst with excitement. "Grrrrr, you'd be crazy to think Trey would pass at any opportunity to see me don leather in public!"

Now that everyone was in agreement, Noah smiled and looked eagerly at Chance. At moments like this, Chance often wondered if the group's heightened interdependency was even remotely healthy anymore.

"I guess that settles it then," Chance sighed grudgingly. "I'll see you all tonight."