Title: The curtain fell
Name: Joy
Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com
Rating: PG-13
"Do I make you feel?" Spike asked Buffy as they parted from their kiss. Spike's eyes were penetrating… "That was quite a kiss but do you feel anything?" Buffy looked down at her shoes even as he held her.
Spike caressed her cheek softly. "That's what I thought…" he whispered. The pain in his eyes was piercing until he squeezed his eyes shut. He planted a kiss on the slayer's forehead. "I love you… I know you don't believe me but it hurts too much… You are too close to my heart to constantly pull away."
"Spike…" Buffy muttered trying to get Spike's attention.
"Hush… You won't abandon your protective walls for me…" he said disentangling his arms from hers. One last touch of her face and then he turned to walk away. He faced her for a moment saying, "I would give you all I could to make you happy… I would be anything you want if you would just give me a little hope that I could have some part of your heart someday. But that died with you…didn't it?" Spike didn't wait for an answer; he just walked into the night.
Buffy didn't follow him nor did she return to her friends. Instead she wandered through the streets and into the cemetery not really heading anywhere. She arrived at her mother's grave and slowed her steps. Buffy knelt down on the ground and ran her hands over her mother's headstone. She memorized every crevice on the words. 'Beloved' she caressed for a long time before she realized she was holding her breath. The air rushed out of her lungs with a sound like a guttural groan. The sound wakened something primal in Buffy. She filled her lungs and screamed a long low howl of pain and grief that quickly became sobs. "Mommy… Why aren't you here? I need you… I need you so much…" The words spilled out of her mouth as easily as the words of her songs. This was real… Pain… She felt… She felt pain.
Tears and groans of agony and despair flowed from the small blonde in the middle of the cemetery, gaining the attention of a few fledging vampires. Spike heard the cries and stayed away…that is until Buffy seemed to be dinner for his kind. A few stakes were put to good use at the hands of the blonde vampire. But he did notice that though a battle raged in her area, Buffy made no attempt to move or fight. She just lay on her mother's grave and grieved her separation from all that she knew in heaven. Her death wish was becoming more dangerous.
With all vampires dust and Buffy still crying, Spike felt certain that she needed his protection. Spike came along side Buffy and slid his arms around her. "It's okay luv. I'm right here," he whispered. Buffy turned in his arms and clung to him for dear life. "I'm going to take you with me… I don't want you becoming someone's dinner. 'Kay, pet?" Buffy nodded against Spike's chest as he swiftly picked her up and walked her out of cemetery.
It was fifteen minutes before Buffy came back to herself enough to realize she was traveling in Spike's car into the night. She was basically curled into the fetal position with her head propped up on Spike's duster that lay on his right leg. Spike was driving, whispering soothingly that he was going to show her something fantastic as he ran his hand up and down her back.
Buffy's head hurt from all the crying she did. She ran her hand over her face and sighed. "Good… You really are still in there… We'll be there soon…" Spike said as she looked up at him like a frightened child.
Spike made a left turn into a small closed down amusement park. He parked in the middle of what would have been the main drag where all the games used to be. "Come on," he said extending a hand to her. She came out part of the way when Spike turned his back to her.
"What are you doing?" Buffy mumbled.
"I am giving you a piggy back ride," Spike said matter-of-factly. Buffy had to chuckle a little. "I knew that would get a smile out of you. Come on, climb on." Buffy sighed and did as commanded. She wrapped her legs around Spike's hips. He hoisted her up a little and proceeded to walk about the park. "Now don't forget where we parked," he mocked.
"I want to show you something I really like about this place. But you have to sit for a minute alone and keep your eyes shut," Spike said as they came to a small stage that had seats for the audience and a close curtain. Spike set her down on one of the benches. "Now sit and don't look."
"Fine," Buffy said with a laughed and dramatically clamped her eyes shut. She heard the revving of the generator kicking on and the sound of gears beginning to shift.
"Okay… Look," Spike announced as he turned the great machine on and opened the curtain. Before her was a calliope of old. It was playing a charming melody as little figures of cherubs and angels spun in circles as harpsichords were strummed and trumpets blew. Buffy's eyes filled with tears as she realized what this machine was. This was someone's idea, who had long since died, of heaven.
The tears spilled onto Buffy's cheeks as Spike came to sit next to her. "Whenever you miss heaven desperately, I'll bring you here and we can be in heaven together." Buffy looked upon him with new eyes. Spike did make her feel…lots of things, lots of unnamed things.
Buffy leaned in and kissed Spike with the desperations she kissed him with earlier. This time when Spike looked into her eyes he knew she felt something… Something unnamed was better then nothing. He swept her up into his arms and led her around in waltz to the music.
"Thank you for bringing me here," Buffy whispered barely being able to look him in the eyes because of the intensity of the moment.
"Not a problem," Spike whispered back.
Buffy settled her head on his shoulder as they danced. "I like heaven on earth too… especially with you," she barely uttered.
"You are my heaven," Spike whispered and kissed her softly.
