A/N: GOD I'VE MISSED WRITING. And since I just passed the first of my last two exams to be able to do the state exam, I thought why the hell not?

A few things: A) I'm not a native speaker. I don't have a Beta- reader and I'm currently running on very little time. So, I'm sorry if what I'm writing isn't always perfect and if that messes with how you can read my stories. Tell me if it's too bad but I thought it was rather okay so far. But yeah, just let me know. (This was also written in half an hour so it's prone to mistakes)

B) I cannot reply to your questions when you're commenting as a Guest. So... I'm not sure why you're even asking.

Anyway, I still hope someone enjoys this. I certainly enjoyed writing it :)


"What if she dies?"

The question runs loud in the dimly lit room, so much louder than she has anticipated when the words left her mouth because they were barely more than a whisper then. She hasn't opened her mouth to speak in two hours and she doesn't know why she broke the silence now.

A silence only disrupted by the constant beeping of the heart monitor, telling her that her mother is indeed still alive. Her heart is beating albeit weakly and in the time she's spent here the monotonous sound has become her new reality, something that grounds her. As long as the machine continues to beep and Jane continues to breathe, then there's still hope.

Avery needs hope.

In this impersonal, sterile hospital room where she's sitting in an uncomfortable chair next to a bed that seems to be too big for the person it's holding – hope is the only thing keeping her from suffocating.

That and the steadying hand of her mother's husband on her thigh who seems to be saying so much with just this touch.

They haven't talked for two hours, simply sitting there in silent sentry waiting for something – anything – and at the same time fearing any change. Change could mean something good but it could also mean the end and neither of them is ready for that.

Still, it seems that her mind has been circling around that end for a while now without her realizing it consciously and that's where this is coming from now – the deepest, most terrifying depths of her mind that she simply can't endure alone anymore.

The hand on her leg clenches into a fist and when she turns her head to the side she sees Kurt's jaw doing the same. She also sees the single tear slipping down his cheek and she watches it until it gets lost in his stubble but doesn't mention it. In the short time she has known him, she has already learned that he wants to keep his feelings in – especially the ugly ones – with anyone but Jane. But she can't help him right now.

It's only the two of them and so she tries to get through to him anyway.

"I'm not saying I'm giving up or that she won't fight this", she pauses, gaze flickering back to the bed, and adds more quietly, "Whatever this is."

The hand on her thigh unclenches slowly at her breaking voice and starts moving up and down her leg soothingly.

Avery closes her eyes and it's then that the first tears slip from them. As if the motion broke something in her loose and it's all she can do not to start sobbing because if she starts, she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to stop.

"I'm sorry", she whispers, desperately wishing to take the words back because they hurt too much already and at the same time… she wants – needs – to continue. "I'm sorry, I'm bringing this up", she clarifies when he doesn't seem to understand, "I just-", again her voice breaks and she has to take three deep breaths before she can continue.

"I've lost so many people already and I-"

"You don't have to, Avery", his soft voice interrupts her from falling apart at the seams and she meets his eyes, grateful for what he's offering. Instead of being a bystander in her inner monologue he has decided to join her, to not let her hurt alone and she's glad because she doesn't know if she could. Not again.

"I just know that death…", she trails off, looking for the right words, unable to look at the woman in the hospital bed, unwilling to associate her with her invincible mother. "It happens", she says finally, "And it can hit anywhere and anytime. There's no guarantee in life. At least not in mine."

Not in his either, she knows that, she's seen as much.

Her eyes travel over the barren walls of the room and stop at the whiteboard with her name and the date.

Jane Doe.

What an ordinary name for an extraordinary person.

For her mum.

It's not the first time she thinks that but it knocks the breath out of her nonetheless.

"I just found her", she whispers, her hand reaching out to travel over the tattooed one laying lifelessly on the bed, "It felt like I found my place again after… I was so lost and somehow she made it better. Both of you did… do. What happens to me if… if she dies?"

"Avery."

She hears him but she can't react. Something in her has broken and she can do nothing but let the sobs that escape her lips roll over her entire body. They hurt. Every single one of them feels like her heart's being torn apart again and again. Every shaky breath makes her whole body hurt. It feels like the end of the world and the only part of her body that she seems to have control over is her right hand, that's now desperately holding on to Jane's.

The hand that lay on her thigh has now become an arm that is wound around her shoulder, pulling her into its warm and steady body with ease. She doesn't fight. She doesn't have the energy.

Instead she turns away from the bed and into the embrace, the comfort, she's being offered.

"Shh."

His finger start running through her hair and she feels the wetness of his own tears trickling down her scalp. It only makes her cry harder at first but then she realizes he's breathing evenly just so she can concentrate on it and so she does.

Kurt doesn't pull away or stops the soothing movements of his hand through her hand, when he starts to speak up.

"If she… If she died", his voice sounds so much smaller than she has ever imagined he could sound but it doesn't break like hers did, it's steady, constant just like him, "Then you'd stay with me. We're a family. Families take care of each other."

And he says it so confidently that she can't help but believe him and so she nods into his tearstained shirt and manages to choke back the next sob.

"But she'll be okay, right?", she asks anyway, not caring how small it makes her sound.

"Yeah, she'll be okay."


PS: Anyone into Irondad/Spiderson because I'm currently cooking up a few oneshots about them and I'll probably write them some time (whenever I get time to)?