Title: Broken
Rating: PG-13
Summary: PostTRUTH. Sequal to "Breath." Lex talks with a broken down Chloe.
Disclaimer: I don't own SmallVille, or the song "Broken." I'm not making money off this.
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
I hate myself. I screwed up so bad. I hate what I did, to Clark... to Pete, to everyone. Then there's him... the last person I should have talked to that day. I didn't even get around to asking him what I really wanted to ask him. No, I didn't have the chance... after all, when you find out all he wants is for his father to love him... What a bitch I was! How could I do that to him, the man I love?
Lately, he's all I think about. I want to hold him close, to kiss him, to love him. It is, in my mind, the only thing that could take away my pain.... his pain, maybe, too. I hurt so much for him. Each night I have the same dream of him and me in his last day at Bella Reeve. I feel like each and everyday is getting hard to get threw. In my closet, I have newspaper clipings and things of the sort, all of him. No one else... that's one of the reasons I have that closet door locked at all times, so no one can see how I feel about him. Some might call it crazy, and they are right I'm sure. I am crazy, after all....crazy about someone I can't have.
I'm sitting on the old swinging bridge that goes across the small creek about three miles out of town. I walked here four hours ago in the rain, which is now coming down in heavy sheets, not that I notice. I have only one thing on my mind. I do notice, however, that I had forgotten my coat in my rush to get as fare away from everyone as I could. I had already said sorry to pretty much everyone, except Lex whom I have not seen since then... for my own reasons. So, since I have forgotten my coat, I'm freezing cold and feeling stupid and sad... I feel like a painting some morbid kid paints in High School. That's depressing.
I wrap my arms around myself and notice my watch. It's getting late and Lana will be wondering where I'm at. I stand up and start walking. Not five steps on the side of the road a car drives by and I get mud all over me. I close my eyes and curse loadly before sighing and keep walking. A perfect thing to happen this week of all weeks.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesomeAnd I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore
I hear another car comeing and sigh, stopping where I stand, embrassing for impact. Why is everyone driving down the road in a thunderstorm anyway? I wait, but no mud. The car rolls to a stop next to me and a window opens. I gasp. It's Lex, raising an eyebrow at me. I should have known it was one of his car's coming, it hadn't sounded like the same red truck everyone here has.
"Chloe?" He asks, his bright, forget-me-not blue eyes look my over, not "checking me out" or anything because I am covered in mud after all. "What in the world are you doing out here in the middle of the storm?" As if on cue, thunder stricks arcoss the sky. Suddenly, I get the strang felling like God is pushing this little conversation, and for some reason, that annoys the hell out of me.
"Oh, you know... feeling like a heel." I say, looking down at the ground. I really have no idea what to say to him and I sorta feel like he, of all people, should be splashing mud on me. I hear a click and I see the car door opened, and Lex sitting there, looking at me, his face blank.
"Come on, I'll drive you back," he says.
"But I'm all wet and muddy," I say, eyeing the leather of his car seats. He shrugs his shoulders.
"I can buy a new car." He said, tapping the seat. I smile my thanks and sit down. "Where are you going?" He asked. I think about that. I should go home, but I really don't want to leave this car, even though I can't really look at him right now.
"The school, I need to get my books," well, it's the truth.
He nods and we start off.
The worst is over now and we can breathe againI wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
I feel so weird, driving along with him. He doesn't turn on the radio or anything. I play with the end of my shirt. I glance at him and he isn't looking at me. I feel sick, why do these things always happen to me?
"Clark told me you got all cured," he says at last. "Must be hard having all that power then making it go away."
"No..." I say, and he glances at me, his eyebrow raised.
"I should think that a young reporter like you would enjoy such powers." He looks back to the road and I look at my hands.
"It wasn't that... it was the way the people I loved looked at me when I used my powers... like I was a freak... I never told you... that I was sorry, did I?" I still don't look at him but I know he's looking at me again. "What I did... what I made you say? That was wrong, I didn't mean to... to hurt you like that. That was the last thing I wanted." She thought bitterly.
"Why?" Lex asked.
"Why am I sorry?"
"No... why was that the last thing you wanted?"
Opps, I said that out load! I blush so bad, and I feel him smirk a little. "I.. I didn't mean that."
"Yes you did. Come on, Chloe what is it your not telling me?" I don't say anything, just play with my shirt a little. I hear him sigh and then the car pulls over, I look out my window, sure enough, we are at the school. It didn't seem very long a drive.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm openAnd I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I look at the school and frown, the door is locked, I can tell from here. "Great, I guess I can't get my books." I say. "Sorry I made you drive all the way... Lex?" I turn back and he has gotten out of the car and walked over to my side, opening the door for me. I step out and look up at him. "Lex, it's locked, I can't get in."
"Were there's a will, there's a way," he states, pulling out a key and walking toward the building. He fits the key in and the door swings open. My mouth opens, too. I walk inside and he comes in after me. "They gave me this to deliever the new computers that are due in tomorrow." He says at my questioning look. I nod and we walk down the long halls towared my locker.
I struggle with the lock, like I always do and then pull it open. My books aren't there and I rack my brain trying to remember where I might have put them. They must be in the Tourch, I think and say as much to Lex. We walk down the hall and I unlock the office, seeing as how I am the only person who ever comes in here after hours.
"Funny, they gave me this key, but not one for the school," I tell Lex who smirks and looks around. He's been in here once before, and I think he is trying to remember everything that is new. There are so few things he must remember, this broken man, that everything he does must feel so preciouse. I push the thoughts from my mind and start to look around for my books.
After finding most of them, I look around for the English homework I had finished before. I look up and see Lex has a paper in his hand, a yellow one, the one with the homework on it. I jump. He can't read that! That's my poem. I move to snatch it away and he just holds it higher, reading it out load and making me blush.
"I feel weak, I feel so alone. My face, is it open, can you even see? We had something, you and me. You don't remember, and I guess it's for the best. I'm broken, you are too. I'm lonesome, are you? I don't feel right, because you are gone. But no your not. You are right there. Over there talking to your friend. Over there drinking your coffee, talking to Lana. But you aren't here. You aren't kissing me again, aren't holding me again. I miss you, I love you, but you don't remeber that, do you?"
As he finishes, he frowns and hands the paper back to me. His face shows sorrow and disappointment. I wonder if he had understood who that poem was for. In an instant his face is blank. "Did you show that to him?"
"Who?" I asked, gathering the last of my things. I need to get out of there. I can't talk to him anymore, it hurts so bad.
"Clark, of course... isn't that who that poem is about?"
I look up at him, shock written all over my face. "What? No, Lex, I don't feel anything for Clark any more."
"Well, who is the stupid guy who can't see the wonderful person you are?" He asks, just a hint of a smirk on his face.
You, I think and sigh. I hear him stumble and I look up. "You alright?" I ask.
"Me?!" He whispers and I clap my hands over my mouth. "That's... that's about me?"
I don't know what to say. I just stand there, my eyes wide. How could I have said that out load?! I feel tears well up in my eyes and I run for the door. He blocks me and grabs my upper arm.
"Chloe, what is this about? Is this about something that happened when I was at Bella Reeve?" His blue eyes are stern.
"Oh, Lex, please, let me go." I moan, tears rolling down my cheeks. He isn't letting go, so I shove him with all my strenght out of the way and run down the hall, him calling after me and running to catch me
'Cause I'm broken when I'm openAnd I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I run out of the school, the rain is falling even harder now and I run into the streets. I don't even look back. Suddenly, I feel an hand on my arm and I am spun around to face him. He is soaking wet and his face is soft, his grip on my arms, however, is not. I know I couldn't get away now.
"Tell me what is going on, Chloe!" He yells over the storm. "For once, I want to know the truth... Were we in love?"
This is a dream, it has to be. He can't be here, he can't. But he is. He is looking at me with those eyes. Those eyes... I can't lie to them. And without even thinking I say: "We were." His expression doesn't change and I tell him the whole thing. How he had promised to take care of me, how I had gone to see him, how he had said he loved me... how I had... how I still love him.
Then there is silence and my heart achs. I feel awful, telling him these things and knowing he can never feel the same. I look away, the rain and my teas mixing together. Then, I feel a soft touch on my chin and he makes me look at him. He smiles at me.
"I love you, Chloe. I always have." He says softly.
I sniff and then smile. "I love you, too, Lex." I one swift movement I'm in his arms and we are kissing. In that moment, everything is perfect. I'm not broken anymore. I have my man back.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesomeAnd I don't feel right when you're gone
You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore
