A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."
A lot of notes for this one. I was really missing the show one day so I wanted to go back to The Palm Woods and this story was the result of that.
The show "National Popstar" is VERY loosely based off of "American Idol." I've never actually watched AI but have a general idea of the premise and I tweaked it for this story, so know that I wasn't trying to make it the same thing. Just something along the same lines, if that makes sense.
There are A LOT of song lyrics in this story, which I know can be boring but it's part of the process and the characters use lyrics to convey feelings, so bear with me on that. I used Google to research lyrics so if any of them are wrong, forgive me.
I should probably warn that there is mild talk of suicide in this, so if that's a trigger for anyone you might not want to read it. It's not a central theme, only something mentioned once early on I think? But I wanted to warn you.
I think that's it. This story ended up pairing Kendall with almost every Palm Woods resident at some point, so be ready for that. He goes through a lot of craziness once he moves to Hollywood, but it's all necessary to help him figure out what he truly wants and to walk his new path.
# #
Kendall Knight did a double-take when he spied Diamond strutting along the opposite side of the ice rink, his own body coming alive with adrenaline. Somehow the sight of James Diamond was the switch that threw him into gear each year, as if once Diamond arrived, the competition became real. This year would be no different than the others-Diamond's team was going down. Kendall bounced on the balls of his feet in anticipation before making his way to where his coach was having a laugh with Diamond's coach. It always felt like betrayal to Kendall, who firmly believed that fraternization with the enemy only opened up a window inviting weakness in, but as the coaches were also best friends, he had no right to say anything about it.
It frustrated Kendall, whose only goal in life was to win (at hockey, precisely). From the moment his father told him at the age of six that he'd never amount to anything in the hockey world, Kendall had made it his life's purpose to do just that and prove the man wrong. Even after his mother had finally gained the courage to take her children and walk away from a mentally abusive husband, that need to be the best survived and gave Kendall motivation to throw his everything into hockey. Sure, he and Diamond had been friends during the first two seasons they'd played, but that was before Kendall understood how serious he needed to be; that was before Kendall moved to a different city and James was suddenly the enemy from an opposing team whenever they met up.
Kendall had quickly become team captain in the new league, then continued to do so each time he moved up in the ranks. Once Kendall was gone, Diamond had done the same. At one point in their earlier friendship they'd discussed that nothing was better than hockey and winning, both wanting to be the best. It later resulted in a fierce competition between the two, who only faced each other once a year at the state championship (which each made sure their team got to), and every single year Diamond had gone down. Kendall's team was always victorious, no matter how hard the other practiced, and today's game would be no different.
While waiting for Coach to finish speaking to the enemy, Kendall glanced again at Diamond, who was suiting up while listening to something a teammate said. Diamond had that nervous look about him, the one that told Kendall he understood this would be his last chance ever to crush Kendall. Senior year would be coming to a close in a matter of months, and unless Diamond had also chosen pro hockey as his career in life, they wouldn't be facing each other again. Diamond's appearance had changed quite a bit during their high school years (his darker hair was now down to his shoulders and when he arrived in street clothes he gave off more of a fashion model vibe than a rugged athlete), leading Kendall to think he'd chosen a much more tame direction in life. Should Kendall tell him about signing to the Wild, their dream team from the early days? He could imagine the shock on Diamond's face, the envy and longing, and decided it might need to be the last thing he ever said to his former friend; that envious expression as Diamond considered the exciting life Kendall had ahead of him would be the perfect thing to walk away from.
Thirty minutes later the adrenaline was at a fever pitch as his team listened to last-minute instructions from Coach. A nudge from the sidelines caught his attention, Kendall spinning around and then looking down at his baby sister Katie (who at 12 wasn't so much a baby anymore).
"Diamond looks nervous. Crush him, Kendall."
Having come up behind her, Kendall's mother heard that and sighed. "Katie, that's not nice! Leave your brother alone and find us a place to sit!"
Kendall winked at his sister anyway before suffering the good luck cheek kiss his mother always insisted on before each game. "Glad you guys made it."
"Couldn't miss the last game! And championship at that. You got this." Leaning closer, she whispered, "Crush him, Kendall."
With a laugh, Kendall nodded and glanced across the rink to lock eyes with Diamond. Their gazes narrowed at each other, adrenaline making a final push through Kendall's body.
James Diamond was going down.
Unfortunately, it was Kendall who went down, and in a much more literal sense. In the last two minutes of the game, which Kendall's team was winning, Diamond knew time was running out and grew frantic. His determination to win coupled with the knowledge that he most likely wouldn't resulted in a spontaneous check as Kendall skated by with the puck, James slamming his stick into Kendall's knee in frustration. It wasn't anything he hadn't done before, was in fact something plenty of hockey players did even though it was against the rules because it was considered dirty tactics, but this time it was different because of the damage it caused—Kendall's kneecap shattered, dropping him to the ice in sudden pain so great he cried out in shock.
Everything happened fast then, though to Kendall it seemed as if in slow motion. He was removed from the ice with the help of two teammates while the sports doctor on standby rushed to meet him. Even through the pain and knowledge that it was impossible, Kendall yelled at his coach, the doctor, and his mother that he had to get back out there, time was running out, the team couldn't win without him, didn't they understand?!
His complaints fell on deaf ears, though, and once the game picked up again he was forced to sit there and watch his team lose what would be the last chance he had to win against Diamond. The other team pulled ahead by one point in the final ten seconds. The fight went out of Kendall and tears finally spilled over, his mother hugging him and promising that they'd get him something for the pain as soon as they could. He remained silent, letting her think that was why he'd broken down crying.
The truth was, the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain he was dealing with. The last chance. His final game against Diamond, and Diamond had come out the victor. He watched the other team shouting in victory, some of them hugging each other in their excitement, and hated them all. Diamond, though, he hated most, because Diamond wasn't cheering. He wasn't even smiling. Instead, his gaze traveled across the ice to lock with Kendall's, and the pity Kendall saw there made him hate Diamond all the more.
Two hours later he was awaiting results from an x-ray and MRI, his mother and Katie sitting close to his bed in the emergency ward, when he asked the question that had been on his mind since the ride over in an ambulance.
"Who did it?"
"What, honey?" his mother asked, Katie only half-listening because she'd found her favorite television show on the small box above Kendall's bed.
"Who checked me? Did you see?"
"No, everyone was around you trying to get the puck away, it could've been any of them."
"Where was Diamond?"
"James?" Mrs. Knight glanced at Katie, who shrugged but answered Kendall's question.
"He was in there too, but it was hard to see, dude. And does it really matter?"
Probably not. It didn't change anything, Kendall would still be lying in a hospital bed with an uncertain future stretching out ahead of him no matter who'd swung the stick that changed his life.
And yet...it did. Because somehow he knew in his heart that it had been Diamond, and when he considered that, it caused his blood pressure to rise to a level that would have alarmed his doctor had he been hooked up to a machine at that moment. The full implications hadn't sunk in just yet, but Kendall at least knew that his immediate hockey career was going to be put on hold; his life had been ruined.
Eventually they learned that his patella had been shattered, and that surgery was recommended. The doctor explained that there was every reason to believe Kendall would be able to move easily again within three months, and with the help of crutches as soon as a week. He'd be forced to wear a restricting knee brace for about six weeks and go through physical therapy for at least two more months, but then he'd be "good as new."
"Meaning I can play hockey?" Kendall asked.
The doctor hesitated at a warning look from Kendall's mother. "Well, maybe 'good as new' isn't the term I should've used," he sighed. "You'll be able to function on your knee like most people, but I wouldn't suggest subjecting it to overly strenuous activity like gymnastics or skiing or...hockey."
"For how long?"
"For...well, Kendall, it's never going to be what it was before the injury. I would recommend finding a new hobby."
What the doctor didn't understand, Kendall's mother and sister did. Each reached out to hold his hands, knowing this was worse than a death sentence to Kendall.
"You're saying I can never play hockey again?"
"You can, but I wouldn't recommend it. You run the risk of undoing everything the surgery will do for you."
"And if I don't have the surgery?" Kendall wanted to know.
"Then it won't heal properly and you might not be able to walk at all."
His mother interrupted. "Kendall, you're having the surgery."
"Mom, what good will it do? It's not going to change anything, I still can't play anymore. Don't you realize this means I have to give up everything?"
"You're going to recover and you'll be fine. We'll figure out the rest later."
Silent tears rained down Kendall's cheeks, but he said nothing more as depression set in. As far as he was concerned, his life was over.
The surgery was proclaimed a success, Kendall losing only a portion of his kneecap in the process. They kept him in the hospital for an additional two days to make sure swelling and infection weren't an issue. His mother and Katie spent most of those two days with him, but at night Kendall was alone to dwell on his life and (lack of a) future.
He'd have to give up his spot on the team he'd spent most of his life striving to be part of. Not only that, but he'd never again be able to do what he loved more than anything else; hockey was his identity. It was all he knew, it was everything. Alone in the dark, Kendall sobbed as emptiness spread through him.
What was there to look forward to now? Why even live? Though he'd never been one to entertain thoughts of suicide, he now understood those who did; it was the idea of life stretching out before you with no hope, the knowledge that each day would be the same and that nothing would ever change. The only thing in life that had ever given him true happiness had been snatched away, and by what? By who? He would probably never know, which made it even worse.
The answer to that question arrived in the form of an envelope delivered to him on his last day at the hospital by a nurse who'd been kind to him no matter how tersely he'd talked to her. She smiled as she approached his bed, where Kendall was fully dressed now with the eyesore of a knee mobilizer strapped to his leg and a set of crutches propped nearby. His mother and Katie were on the way, as was news of his discharge, and the nurse's greeting to him was, "Glad this showed up before you left. Someone dropped it off at the front desk."
The envelope was placed in Kendall's hand, stiff enough that he knew there was a card shoved inside it. "Probably from the team." The thought of it choked him up, as did the memory of his coach visiting the day before with pity in his eyes—the same sort of pity Diamond had looked at him with immediately after the injury. "Thanks." He set the envelope aside, not wanting to be reminded of what he'd lost.
"Aren't you gonna read it?" the nurse asked with a frown. "Might make you smile."
"Doubt it."
She sighed, then shrugged and asked him a few questions about his physical state before leaving with, "The doctor will be in one more time to see you, but we should have you discharged within a half hour."
"Great," Kendall replied with no feeling. What good would it do? What was there to look forward to once leaving here? He'd be practically bedridden for the next month anyway, and then barely able to do anything outside of physical therapy. What was even the point of...anything?
More out of boredom than anything else, Kendall reached for the card ten minutes later. It was a simple get well card with a sad-looking cartoon person laid up in a hospital bed on the cover. There were some well-meaning words of encouragement printed on the inside, but what Kendall's eyes were immediately drawn to was the signature—not of many, but of one person. It was difficult to decipher, scrawled and looking almost like an autograph, and had it not been for the symbol used to dot the "i" in the name, Kendall might not even have been able to figure out who it belonged to. He remembered that symbol, though, because it had been he who first suggested the use of it over ten years ago.
His mind recalled that day, seeing it as clearly as if it had just happened the day before. James had been sitting next to him in their first grade classroom, at a table they shared with two other students, and they'd been working hard on creating the perfect Mother's Day card. Kendall's had a big hockey stick drawn on the front, along with hearts and flowers he'd drawn to surround it. James had chosen to adorn his card with rainbows and clouds, as well as a few crudely-shaped music notes.
"What are you gonna write inside?" Kendall had asked.
"Don't know. Maybe just I love you."
"That's boring, everyone says that. Make it special."
"What are you gonna write?" James returned.
"Don't know," Kendall admitted.
"You should say I love you. Mommy says you should make sure people know when you love them, that it's the most important thing of all."
Kendall didn't answer, but thought hard over the problem while coloring in his flowers. What could he say that was special?
Ten minutes later he still hadn't figured it out. He leaned over to watch James write "I love you Mommy" and print his full name below, using a star to dot his "i." "What's that?" Kendall wondered.
"A star. Mommy says that's what I'm gonna be."
"You should use a diamond instead. It's your name and it makes you special."
James considered that, then grinned and nodded. The star was erased to be replaced with an uneven diamond shape. "Like that?"
"Perfect."
Over the years, the shape had improved so that there was no question it was a tiny, sparkling diamond sitting atop the short vertical line representing the letter "i." As he stared down at the card in his hand now, Kendall remembered that in the end, he'd gone with "I love you" as well, and his mother had cried over it. Maybe Diamond had been on to something, even at that young age.
Above the signature, James had written only two words. They were words that perhaps anyone else reading the card might not have understood, but Kendall knew right away what it meant and the implication behind the message.
"I'm sorry."
For the first time since being struck down on the ice, Kendall had a target for his rage. The depression lifted quickly after that, morphing into something hot and fiery that burned in him with what he needed most—a purpose.
Somehow, some way, he'd get his vengeance. James Diamond had put him here, had ruined his life in a matter of seconds and without thought. Kendall wouldn't let that go.
James Diamond was going down. This time, for good.
The following three months were a sentence in Hell. Kendall was alternately depressed, angry, frustrated, sad, and hopeless as he spent the first few weeks mostly confined to his bed and with his leg elevated by a mountain of pillows, now doing his school lessons from home. Once his doctor pronounced him ready, he was encouraged to attempt mobility often but not to "overdo it." That proved difficult, because Kendall had never been one to sit and wait. He wanted to do and to accomplish, to never be held back. His own body became his enemy, fighting him when he tried to force it into healing at a faster pace; walks around the block on crutches were frustrating because he couldn't move fast enough. If he tried to, he'd get tired quickly and collapse into bed upon the return home in exhaustion and sweat (along with frustrated, angry tears). The crutches were eventually done away with, allowing him to put weight on his knee, and that was excruciating only because it didn't work the way it was supposed to. Though the doctor promised him it would get better, Kendall didn't see that happening, and sank further and further into depression.
His rage at Diamond came and went. Sometimes he was rational enough to understand that James hadn't meant for this to happen; other times he convinced himself it had been on purpose, that so many years of losing to Kendall had made Diamond snap and want him incapacitated for good. He kept his accusatory thoughts to himself, never speaking aloud to his family that he blamed James directly. The card sat on his nightstand as a reminder that there was unfinished business between them, and when his mother once asked who sent it to him, all he said was, "A friend." He supposed it wasn't a lie, as it had been true at one time. Now Diamond was anything but.
Kendall was told physical therapy would help once he made it to that point. Six weeks after his surgery, he discovered that it was instead torture that left him weak and in pain from muscles that were no longer in the habit of being used. Every time he finished a session, he felt hopeless and dejected, wondering why he was bothering. His life still had no meaning other than a vague, half-hearted desire to make Diamond feel what he was, and if he somehow managed that, then what? An entire life stretching out before him of...the same. Day in and day out, no hockey. His mother once made the mistake of suggesting that he go to college and get a degree that could help him land a desk job, and he lashed out at her so angrily that she refused to speak to him until he apologized. Kendall being Kendall, that apology didn't come until the following morning; forgiveness was not in his nature once he'd been wronged. He didn't apologize for his words, only for hurting his mother, because everything he'd said to her was true—he'd rather die than spend his life sitting behind a desk.
Three months in, the knee brace was long gone and Kendall was able to walk with nothing other than a slight limp. Physical therapy was working to make his leg stronger and his mother delicately broached the subject of his future, fearing another outburst. She said he needed to do
something because "this isn't you, you've never been one to just sit around and mope, you've always been a fighter." Kendall countered with, "That was when I had something to fight for."
"You still do," Jennifer argued, standing above Kendall with arms crossed over her chest. "You have a life to live, a purpose. Hockey was your thing, but it's not the only thing. Make something else yours."
From his reclined position on the sofa, Kendall glared up at her. "There's nothing else I care about. Nothing else in life ever gave me that fire, made me feel that passion."
"That doesn't mean nothing else ever will! You certainly won't find that passion lying around on the couch every day. Get out and find something to live for!"
Having just come in the front door, Katie heard the end of that and commented "Seriously, dude, you're bumming me out. Go get a hobby." She continued to sail on past them and into the kitchen, offering nothing more.
"Even your sister sees it," his mother sighed. "Is this what you want her to grow up with? Seeing that it's okay to just give up when life doesn't go your way?"
Kendall sat up fast, the familiar anger rising to the surface. "Doesn't go my way?" he echoed. "Like this is just a contest I didn't win or a raise I didn't get? It's so much more, Mom, it's my entire fucking life!"
"Don't use that language with me. I'm not your enemy and I'm only saying these things because I love you. This isn't the end of the world."
"It's the end of my world! Why can't you see that? Why can't you understand that?"
"It's the end of one possible path your life was going to take. That's all. I'm not trying to minimize it, Kendall, I know how much hockey meant to you. I understand that it was everything. But honey...there are so many other paths you could've chosen, and now that one is blocked off. It's got a 'Do Not Enter' sign and you have to keep walking until you find the new path that's open for you. I promise, baby, there's something else out there for you. You're so smart and passionate and you have such a big heart and...you're so much more than you realize. I don't want to see it go to waste."
Though Kendall wanted to continue arguing with her, the sight of Katie peeking out of the kitchen with sad eyes stopped the words from coming. For the first time, he truly saw what his injury had done to her, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that it was his refusal to live that had affected her so deeply. In her gaze he saw fear, sadness, concern, and a silent plea for him to come back because she missed him. What killed Kendall most was the way her bottom lip trembled in an effort to keep from crying; the tears she couldn't fight sprouted and spilled over, and the anger went out of Kendall.
"Katie..."
"Please, Kendall," she begged with a broken voice. "Just...live again."
He started to move but she was gone, the sound of her footsteps pounding down the hallway followed by the slamming of a door. He rubbed a hand over his face, hating himself for causing his baby sister pain and worry. When he realized his mother was still standing over him and waiting patiently, he asked, "How?"
"How what, honey?" she replied in a gentle tone.
"How do I find another path when that's all I know?"
"Well..." Choosing her words carefully and still a little afraid Kendall might lash out, she continued, "I guess you have to open your eyes to what else is out there."
"But how? I don't even know where to start."
"It's...uh..." Casting about in her brain and coming up empty, relief flooded her when her eyes fell upon the newspaper she'd dropped on the coffee table earlier that morning. "Here!" She quickly paged to the local section and opened the paper to job openings. "Why not look through here and see if there's anything at all that appeals to you?"
"You want me to apply for a job with nothing but a high school diploma?"
"Why not? Plenty of people have jobs with that, and some with even less. Kendall, I'm not saying you have to take one of these jobs. Just look through them and see if anything pops out at you. If it's something that requires a degree, we'll talk more about it and you can consider college. It's just...a place to start."
Kendall sighed heavily, the idea of searching through pages of prospective jobs both daunting and exhausting. Remembering Katie's plea, though, he took the newspaper from his mother and relaxed back onto the sofa. "Fine, but can I get a snack? I'm gonna need something to get me through this."
His mother rolled her eyes but nodded. "I'm going to start dinner soon, so not too much. I'll bring you some fruit."
"Whatever."
Thoughts still on Katie, Kendall began to skim the tiny print as his mother left him in peace. Thirty minutes later he'd devoured an apple and laid waste to a tall glass of milk, but found not one job that sparked even a glimmer of interest in him. Knowing it was a lost cause, he closed the newspaper and tossed it onto the coffee table in defeat; his fears had been true, he had no interests and no talent outside of hockey. Life was over.
About to collapse back into the sofa cushions again, Kendall's motion came to a halt when his gaze caught on a familiar face smiling up at him from the back page of the local section. There he was, the cause of all of this, staring up at Kendall in black and white with his hair perfectly in place as it hung down almost to his shoulders. James Diamond looked different outside of a hockey uniform, softer somehow and with a dreamy look in his eyes that was completely opposite of the fire he usually aimed Kendall's way.
"LOCAL TALENT READY TO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF" claimed the headline, Kendall's gaze narrowing as he picked up the paper and brought it closer to read the article.
James Diamond has been singing since the age of four, according to his mother Brooke. Music was always his first love, and as a boy Diamond could often be found dancing to his favorite songs, whether at a family gathering or alone in his room. Brooke recalls many nights when she'd have to yell at her son to turn the music down and focus on homework. "He's been obsessed with singing for as long as I can remember," she smiles. "That and hockey, but he never wanted to go professional in hockey. He's always wanted to be a star."
Diamond might now get his chance. Multi-platinum producer Gustavo Rocque will be judging a singing contest right here in Minnesota this coming Saturday, the winner scoring not only a recording contract but a highly-coveted spot on the popular television show "National Pop Star." The show follows two singing hopefuls competing for fame, fortune, and most importantly, a contract with a top recording company. Rocque has made stops in six other states but recently claimed he'd had no luck, saying he's still looking for "that fire." For the show, Rocque's chosen contestant will go up against another hopeful that will be selected by fellow big-name producer George Hawk.
Though there will be more than twenty competing Saturday, Diamond is one of only a few hopefuls who hails from Minnesota and is whispered to be the top contender, having won seven singing contests throughout his eighteen years and praised by both his former choir instructor and private vocal coach, Thomas Ryan. "James has what it takes, no question," Ryan shares. "He's got the looks, the attitude, and most importantly, the pipes. All James needs is a chance, and I'm positive that after hearing him sing, Rocque will give him that."
As for Diamond himself, it's clear when he speaks that this would be a dream come true for him. "I can't imagine doing anything else with my life," he smiles, eyes lighting up. "Being on a stage and singing to huge crowds, that's all I've ever wanted to do. It's everything to me. I'm going to win this. I have to."
The remainder of the article was devoted to listing the time and place of Saturday's competition, reminding readers that admittance was open to anyone for a donation, proceeds going to the arts program of a local high school. Kendall barely skimmed that, though, attention focused on the quote from James.
"...that's all I've ever wanted to do. It's everything to me."
Kendall's face flushed as adrenaline pumped through him and a fire started to burn deep inside. There was one other talent Kendall possessed, one he'd completely forgotten about simply because he rarely used it and found no value in it other than to pass the time while showering or cleaning, sometimes even while practicing alone on the ice. Kendall enjoyed singing. As a child, he'd been told numerous times that he had a gift. He'd always brushed it off, though; what was singing in comparison to hockey? He recalled now that his mother had attempted to enroll him in choir in junior high, thinking it was a hobby much less likely to result in broken bones than hockey, but Kendall had adamantly refused. Even Katie had complimented his singing on the rare occasions she caught him doing it.
But was it anywhere near enough to win a contest pitting him against singers who'd devoted most of their lives to training for it? He certainly didn't have the looks or attitude to go with the voice, especially with the limp that would keep him from dancing should the need arise. Besides, did he really want to move to Los Angeles and be on some stupid reality show that would put him in the spotlight in front of not only thousands but millions of eyes even if he did win by some fluke?
Of course not. What was he thinking?
"...that's all I've ever wanted to do. It's everything to me."
Yes, Kendall knew that feeling, and knew what it felt like to have everything ripped away in the span in a few seconds. He'd suffered every single day for the previous three months, and was looking forward to nothing more than an entire life of the same misery.
All because of Diamond.
Kendall didn't want to be a star, at least not in a famous sense. He didn't even want to spend his life on stages singing. What he did want, in fact needed, was to make Diamond pay. Only then could he move on with his life and start to heal. As he pictured Diamond's face while sitting at home watching him on television every week, Kendall's lips quirked up into a smile. It was the first he'd experienced in three months, and as horrible as the reason for it was, he felt good. He felt...alive.
Kendall Knight had a purpose again. James Diamond was going down.
Kendall's mother only argued with the idea for a short time before acquiescing because even though she didn't understand his sudden desire to participate in the type of contest he'd despised all his life, she was smart enough to realize that it was a start on Kendall's search for a new path. The idea of uprooting their lives and moving to a new state was daunting, but anything that would give her son back that zest for life he'd lost was worth a shot. Her one fear was that Kendall's losing the contest would set him further back in his mental recovery, and she hoped for his sake that he at least could come in second to the winner; even being that close to victory might bring back his fire.
Upon hearing that they could possibly end up moving to Los Angeles for six weeks, Katie was ecstatic; not only would it bring her brother back to life, it was Hollywood! All the stars, the people, the glamour, the excitement...what was not to love about it? After Kendall researched the contest more and discovered he'd have to choose a song to sing, Katie helped him pick out one that showcased his vocal talents and then listened to him practice over and over while tossing out suggestions to fine-tune what was not a trained voice but needed to sound like one.
As for Kendall, having a goal again did wonders for his mental state. He cleaned himself up, exercised his knee each day, and sang so much he worried his voice might give out on him before Saturday arrived. When it came, though, his vocal chords were in shape and ready for the workout he would give them in an attempt to impress a man who by all accounts was an extremely harsh judge. They left the house in high spirits, Kendall determined to win as he imagined Diamond's face upon hearing him open his mouth on that stage. It was time for payback.
Because Kendall had been a late entrant to the contest, there was a delay in getting him checked in and by the time he was sent to the room where the hopefuls were gathered to wait, a third of them had already auditioned. Kendall spied Diamond pacing in a corner by himself, immediately recognizing the same nerves he usually sported before a championship game. James was terrified, and why not? His entire life was on the line. Losing this would ruin him.
The thought brought a smirk to Kendall's face, and when James glanced up and their gazes clashed, he did a double-take before halting and staring across the room at Kendall with wide eyes. "You came," he managed in a voice full of awe, closing the distance between them until they were able to talk quietly and be heard.
The words made no sense to Kendall, but he didn't give them a second thought. What he noticed was that Diamond's face was lit up and glowing in a way he'd never seen before. Diamond's dark hair framed his face, having been trimmed but still so long it hovered just over his shoulders. He wore black jeans and a shirt of the same shade, both of them giving him a sleek but stylish appearance, with black suede boots completing the look. It was a far cry from the aggressive, sweaty opponent Kendall was used to facing on the ice, and for a second it threw his focus off enough that he forgot why he was there. Diamond's teeth were so white as to almost blind him through the wide smile shining back at him. "I..."
"Does this mean you forgive me?" James asked hesitantly, biting his lip before continuing. "We're good?"
In a matter of seconds, it all came crashing back. Kendall remembered exactly why he was here and all that Diamond had cost him. "Forgive you?" he echoed in a disbelieving voice. "You think I could ever forgive someone who ruined my life and stole everything I live for right out from under my feet?"
The smile faltered before dying, James' eyes losing that sparkle. "I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I left you a card, did you get it?"
"Oh, I got it. It's the reason I'm here today. You're going down, Diamond. Eye for an eye."
Confusion blurred James' features for a moment. "Eye for an..." It hit him then, the reality of his situation slamming home. "Wait, you're here to compete? You're singing today?!"
"I'm winning today. This is your one shot at the big time, and I'm stealing it from you. I want you to know what it feels like to lose everything the way I did when you stole my life from me."
"Kendall..." Hardly able to comprehend what he was hearing, James grasped for words. "No, I never meant to...I would never do that to you on purpose, you know that, I'd give anything to take it back, I'm so sorry, it was just a stupid reaction in the heat of the moment, I never dreamed-"
"None of that matters. You ruined me. I'm going to ruin you today."
Before James could even think of a reply, his name was being called by a woman peeking into the room. "Diamond! James Diamond, you're up!"
Both Kendall and James turned toward the voice before staring at each other again—James with panic in his gaze, Kendall with satisfaction. "Go on, Diamond. Show 'em what you got."
"No, I..." Terror more evident than before, James called out, "Can someone else go now? I'm not ready!"
"Now or never, this is your chance. Mr. Rocque doesn't like to be kept waiting," was the response.
Kendall crossed his arms over his chest and smirked in amusement. "Good luck out there. Break a leg," he sneered.
James' face fell, sorrow creasing his features. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Diamond! Are we skipping you or not?"
Having no choice, James moved away and followed the woman, Kendall watching his slumped shoulders with a grin. No way would Diamond win this, not now; his entire focus had been shattered. Kendall's job was half done.
It was a long wait until he was called, being the last to audition, but when it happened, Kendall was ready. He felt the curious gazes when his slight limp was noted, not letting it bother him and instead focusing on the song he'd rehearsed a hundred times with Katie. He took a moment to center himself, finding his family in the audience and smiling when they cheered him on loudly, and the sight of Diamond sitting in the back row surprised him but didn't derail him; he simply decided to avoid that area while singing. Rocque was even more intimidating than he'd read, but Kendall didn't let that bother him either. He inhaled deeply, entered the zone in his mind, and sang his song from the heart while meeting the producer's judgmental stare head-on.
The silence when he finished lasted only a few seconds before applause rang out in the auditorium. Nothing could be gauged from Rocque's face, so Kendall didn't worry about it and took a bow before exiting the stage and making his way slowly to the seat his mother and Katie had saved for him. He chanced a glance at Diamond along the way, steps faltering when he saw an expression that was nothing like he'd expected. Kendall had assumed Diamond would be angry, worried, perhaps even jealous or scared. Instead the gaze that met his was haunted, with a hint of hurt, surprise (Kendall had obviously managed to impress him with talent) and something Kendall couldn't put his finger on as no one had ever looked at him that way before. It was an expression that left him feeling unsettled enough that he quickly averted his eyes and shook it off before lowering himself next to Katie, who whispered, "You knocked it out of the park, bro! So proud of you!"
Kendall smiled and thanked her, letting his mother reach across to squeeze his hand and say the same thing with her eyes. "You were definitely the best," she added. "If you don't win, this thing is rigged."
"How was Diamond?" Kendall couldn't help but ask softly, needing to hear it.
"He bombed," Katie replied. "It was kind of sad, really, you could tell he was just nervous or something. He has a good voice but his whole performance was so off. I almost felt bad for him."
A twinge of guilt surfaced for a few seconds, Kendall quickly shaking that off, too. Diamond deserved this, he'd brought this on himself. "He'll live," was all he commented, knowing that wasn't quite accurate because he'd experienced it himself; Diamond would die inside, would be miserable because his life was over.
As Kendall had been the last to perform, all that remained was the announcement of the winner. Rocque himself handled that, his assistant joining him on the stage and Kendall noting it was the woman who'd been calling each entrant earlier, and no one was surprised when the name Kendall Knight was proclaimed the winner. Victory surged through him as he approached the stage to be congratulated by the judge himself. He smiled as he shook Rocque's hand, the adrenaline of winning coursing through him, and when he made a point to rub it in Diamond's face only to find that Diamond was no longer in the room, Kendall smiled even wider.
Diamond had gone down, and it felt fantastic.
