Gibbs had never had any illusions about himself. He knew he was attractive, but as three ex-wives went to show, no one would put up with him for very long. He had gotten accustomed to being left, either by lovers or coworkers fed up with his personality. Giving thanks everyday that Abby and Ducky seemed to still care for him for some reason, he had never expected Dinozzo to last long. Expected no, but wished yes. After all, as he said, the second B was for bastard.

Yet to his complete and total surprise, not only had Tony stayed, but for the first time he had shown no inclination to want to leave after his usual two years. He seemed to be able to take any of Gibbs comments and personality issues in stride, letting them wash off his skin like a duck through water. He never looked at Gibbs like he expected him to change, never asked anything of him that he wasn't able to give. So that after a few years of working with him, the older man had no idea what to expect.

Even when they became lovers, Gibbs still felt adrift. This wasn't like any of his previous relationships, and not just because he wanted this to work more than he had ever wanted the other ones to. No, this was completely different in that he never felt that he had to be the one in control, the one to make the decisions. He wasn't constantly looked at to guess what the other person was thinking and wanting. Anything that Tony wanted or thought was told to him, without expectations.

It was nice actually Gibbs admitted to himself, but he wished he had a better understanding of what was really going on. Though he held his tongue, trusting Tony to watch his six, and to lead him in whatever this became. And what this was becoming, swiftly became apparent as he found himself following the younger man's suggestions without thought. Swallowing at the realization, Gibbs reminded himself that he trusted Tony implicitly; the younger man would never do anything to hurt him.

Outwardly, nothing appeared to change in their dynamic. They behaved the same way at work, not wanting anyone to know about their relationship just yet. Though they suspected that Abby and Ducky probably knew but hadn't told the others. Gibbs hadn't wanted to do anything to pressure the other man, and Tony hadn't wanted to scare his boss off. Inwardly, however, gradual changes began to show. The older man becoming less resistant to allowing Tony control, and Tony becoming more comfortable with taking care of Gibbs.

That was in the end, what this was all about. From the marines on, Gibbs had been used to ignoring his own needs, not letting himself ask for what he wanted or needed. He had seemed to be under the impression, that showing some sign of neediness or vulnerability would drive Tony off. A misconception the younger man was sure to correct. He wanted to guarantee, that Gibbs knew that he didn't have to be in control all of the time, that he could relinquish himself and let someone else be strong in his place.

Tony was a nurturer at heart, he wanted nothing more than to be able to comfort and hold the other man. He knew it would never be easy, that despite Gibbs' trust, his pride would inevitably get in the way. But he was determined to stick this out, knowing that it was all worth it.