Invisible
By
Lantarmiel
A/N: This fic was inspired by one line from the
song 'Invisible,' by Clay Aiken: 'If hearts were unbreakable
I'd make you mine tonight.' Listening to that song on repeat one
night gave me this timid little plotbunny. Enjoy!
Pairing:
Black/Lupin
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all of the Hogwarts
characters and places. I am merely borrowing them, and promise to
perform full memory charms on them upon their
return.
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It
all came down to this. An era in Hogwarts history was about to
end—the Marauders were leaving. Seven years of hard work had led to
this day; seven years of blood, sweat, and tears. No longer would
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs roam the halls; no longer would
the sounds of their laughter resonate in the hallways.
It was
exactly one week until the end of term. Most students were running
around, trying to do everything they had always meant to do in these
seven years, but had never gotten around to actually doing. For one
student, however, this night marked a sacred and tragic anniversary
he had honored since this date two years ago.
Remus Lupin lay
on his bed, staring up into the red curtains around him. Every second
that passed felt heavy on his heart, for it was one less second he
had to tell his secret to Sirius Black.
Sirius.
He
had realized it fifth year, after a particularly painful
transformation. That night, even with his transformed friends around,
he could barely keep his wits about him. He found that the only
things keeping him from giving them the slip were thoughts of his
most canine of companions—how Sirius would react if he ran
away, what Sirius would do, how Sirius would bring him
back. And he had gotten through the night by focusing on his best
friend.
But back in the boys' dormitory, thoughts began to
flit across Remus's mind. Thoughts that scared him. Thoughts that
seemed wrong. Thoughts that he never should have been having about
another boy. But nonetheless, there they were. Dreams that started
that night had continued, until the werewolf knew that it was indeed
not a phase. Like it or not, he was in love with his best friend.
I
have to tell him. I have to tell him tonight. It's only a week
until we leave, and I can live that long without them. And then...
and then I'll face the world. I can do it, if they are so disgusted
by me that they can't bring themselves to talk to me anymore. But I
have to tell him before we graduate, and tonight is the night I
realized it. But how can I? I may be one of the famous Gryffindor
Marauders, but they would never have been my friends if they hadn't
felt pity for me. That's all I am. A bloody pity case!
A
choked sob escaped his throat as he rolled over to muffle his cries.
It was hopeless. Seven days left, out of the years he had had. It was
hopeless.
And another thing—he was eighteen! What was he
doing, sobbing on his bed like some lovesick third year girl? It was
so unlike him, to break down like this. He was the calm one, the one
who tempered the wild plans of James and Sirius with reason! He
wasn't the type to agonize over unrequited love!
But, then
again, he hadn't thought he was the type to fall in love with his
best friend, either.
Wiping his tears on the scarlet quilt, he
took a deep breath and shook his head as if to clear it. Come Hell or
high water, Sirius Black was going to find out that he had captured
the werewolf's heart. And come Hell or high water, Remus Lupin was
going to tell him.
Getting up, Lupin stuck his head out of the
dormitory door and called down to the Common Room. "Oy! Padfoot!"
he yelled, trying to force his voice to be as normal as
possible.
Grinning, the shaggy headed teen looked up. "What?"
he called back. "I'm collecting bets on how long Jamesie and Lily
can snog without taking a breath!"
Remus smiled to himself.
"Black, put down the galleons, and come up here. I've got
something to show you," he said. "And besides, isn't that
illegal?"
"It's only illegal if you get caught, mate,"
Sirius replied. "I'll be up in five minutes—they have to snog,
and I have to collect my fees.
"Right. Hurry up, then,"
Remus sighed to himself. See? He doesn't care! It's like I'm
invisible!
He does, too! He just doesn't know what I'm
going to say.
He doesn't want to know. He'll run
away, shocked, and never speak to you again!
Will not!
Will
too!
Will not!
Will too!
"Will not!"
Remus cried.
"Will not what?" Sirius asked from his place
in the doorway, puzzled.
"Er..." came the reply. "Nothing.
Didn't see you there..." Remus trailed off, looking at his
feet.
"All right. So, what was so important that it couldn't
wait until I'd collected on the bet?" Sirius asked, bounding in
and throwing himself on his bed.
"I have to tell you
something, and you have to promise not to interrupt me until I'm
done. Then... I dunno. But I've got to get this out in one shot, or
I never will," Remus said, glancing up at his friend.
Sirius
nodded in reply. "Not a word until you finish," he replied with a
grin.
"Right. Well... Merlin, I don't know how to say
this. I suppose... er..." Remus paused, took a deep breath, and
continued. "Two years ago, when I was transformed, I was so crazy
with the pain that I almost ran off and went on a rampage around
Hogsmeade. I couldn't think about anything else, just getting away.
But... but then something broke through the haze in my mind, and kept
me from doing it. And I haven't been able to get the thoughts out
of my head for two bloody years—exactly, in fact. And... I keep
thinking about you, as... as more than just a friend. I'm gay, and
I know I have been for a while. I'm sure you guys have suspected
it. But... what you don't know is... I think I love you. And I
don't mean like my best friend," Remus finished, his voice
growing smaller and squeakier by the second as he stared at his
hands.
There was no reply, and he snuck a glance upwards.
Whatever he had expected, it certainly wasn't the sight that
greeted his eyes. Sirius—his best friend, and the object of his
affection, with tears rolling down his cheeks. Remus winced, thinking
that he had caused the prankster to snap.
"If... if you want
me to go, I will. You guys don't ever have to see me again. But I
had to tell you," Remus mumbled, a tear rolling down his
cheek.
"No!" was the choked reply from the bed. "Wait."
Sirius sat up. "I—I can't believe that you feel like that. I
figured out I was gay last year. And... Merlin, this isn't
happening..." he muttered.
Remus was on the bed and in his
arms in half a moment. "I was so scared that you'd be disgusted
with me..."
Sirius stroked Remus's hair slowly, both of
their tears slowly drying. "How could you ever disgust me?" he
asked. "You have this fucking endearing way of looking at me that
makes me want to protect you from getting hurt by the world. There
are so many ways that you could be hurt... and I don't want any of
them too happen, ever."
"I can take care of myself. I can
take care of you, too," Remus promised softly. "I have before,
whenever you needed a place to stay during the summers when the
Potters were away."
"But you shouldn't have to!"
Sirius cried. "You go through so much bloody shit already! Once a
bloody month! You don't need my problems on top of yours!"
"I
want your problems, Siri!" Remus replied, trying to impress upon
his friend the seriousness of the situation. "I want everything you
want!"
Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but was stopped by
a sudden surge of person in his lap that ended up with Remus
straddling Sirius and, for the sake of colloquialism, snogging his
brains out. "Merlin's beard, Remmy!" he gasped, pulling away
for a moment. "Where the bloody hell did you learn to snog like
that?"
"Gwyneth," stated Remus simply, naming their
classmate, a Ravenclaw he had dated for a few months in sixth year
because she had asked him.
"My thanks to Miss Gwyneth!"
Sirius exclaimed, pulling Remus back on top of him for another
mind-blowing snog.
Not invisible anymore, am I?
Shut
up and keep snogging
him!
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Review
if you wish, I'd like some constructive criticism,
please.
Lantarmiel
