*ahem* *coughcough* Okay, then... I'm sitting here at my computer, about to write what could possbibly be the strangest thing I've ever written. Of course, I can't credit it all to me. My friend Jason has helped me to create this... This... This thing. It's going to be a series, eventually. BTW, Jason is straight, the homosexual content was my idea. Here 'tis....

The Helpless Hobo

Episode 1: Enter The Hobos



Quatre stared at the letter he had pulled from its envelope, a look of horror on his face. The blonde boy ran from the room, up a flight of stairs, and into the bedroom that he and Trowa shared. "Trowa!" the terrified gundam pilot shouted. "Huh? What is it, Quatre?" Trowa responded. "I-It's horrible! It's awful! It's..." Quatre stopped talking as his tears ovewhelmed him. "Is Treize back? Has Maremaia rebuilt some mobile suits in an attempt to take over the world? What's wrong??"

Quatre stopped sobbing long enough to tell Trowa about the letter. "It's even worse than all that... By the way, you do know Treize is alive, don't you? Anyways... My grandmother is coming to stay with me for two weeks!" Trowa staredat the smaller pilot for a time, and then asked "What's so bad about that?" "That means we can't sleep together for two whole weeks! She doesn't know... Um... You know... That I'm gay..."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Quatre fearfully glanced downstairs. "It's her..." He whispered. Trowa sighed and walked downstairs to greet Quatre's grandmother. He opened the door, and saw a silver-haired woman of about 80 standing on the other side. She was about a foot shorter than Trowa, she was a very rotund woman as Trowa could plainly see, she wore purple eyeshadow, green eyeliner, bright red lipstick, about 12 pounds of other various makeup, and she was dressed in a green and black dress.

"Uh... Hello... Um... Mrs. Winner..." Trowa muttered, shocked by the womans strange appearance. "Hey there, sweety, pack yer bags, we're goin' on a trip!" Trowa just continued to stare at Quatre's grandmother, until Quatre came downstairs and tapped his shoulder. "Quatre? Uh... She wants us to go on a trip with her..." Quatre's face took on a look of horror never before imaginable. "NO!" Quatre shouted. "Not another trip!" Quatre's grandmother, who introduced herself as Rhonda, laughed evilly and grabbed ahold of the two boys by their arms and said "let's go!"

Quatre pulled back and said "wait! At least let me get the others first!" Quatre ran back upstairs to alert the other three pilots, who were staying with Quatre and Trowa for some unknown reason. Duo, Heero and Wufei quickly packed some necessary clothing and other objects, and then Rhonda ushered them out the door. Rhonda pointed at her private jet, which was parked on Quatre and Trowa's front lawn. "Hurry!" She yelled, and everyone quickly boarded the jet. Rhonda ran to the front of the jet and started it up. "We must travel where no sane person has ever gone before... Tonight, we fly to... The island of Jurassic Park!"

It was a long flight... But after several hours, Rhonda announced that they were completely and hopelessly lost. "What??? We're lost? But... We can't be lost!" Duo complained. "Now, now, it isn't all that bad..." Rhonda attempted to console him. "As long as we don't hit that strange island up ahead, we'll be fine. And we have plenty of fuel, so that shouldn't ha-" A computerized voice rang out from the front of the jet "Out of fuel. Out of fuel. Out of fuel." *CRASH*

TO BE CONTINUED