Lotus Fate
"What?" I dropped the phone that I was holding, grabbing at the table for support. Ray was admitted in the hospital.
Flashback
I woke up from the operation, still feeling about drowsy. The white surrounding of the hospital was what greeted me. I scanned around the room and noticed that there was a boy, who was about my age; maybe slightly elder, watching me. I don't remember knowing him. He smiled when he noticed I was awake.
"You're awake..." he said, and helped me to sit up. All the while, I was searching for my memory but I can't remember where I saw him before. I know who he is, of course. Who would not know the famous BBA member, Ray Kon. But, I don't think he would know who I am anyway, so why is he there with me in the hospital?
"Um... do you know me?" I asked him as he poured me a glass of water.
"Yes... but I'm not sure if you would know me," he laughed and sat down on the chair beside my bed. "Let me see... I'm glad that you have recovered. When I saw you last morning, you were so pale, like a sheet of paper." He continued while taking a closer look at me. I felt my cheeks turning red.
"I'm Ray. Ray Kon. Nice to meet you, Minnie," he introduced himself, most probably realising that I was acting rather strangely. I could not help but smile. Thinking that such a famous person would visit me makes me feel so special all of a sudden.
"Nice to meet you too... I never really thought that I would even meet somebody as famous as you."
"Well, come to think of it. We are just the same, aren't we? We are both made of flesh and blood. So you shouldn't think I'm any different from you." With that, he gave me a smile, a genuine smile.
At that moment, the nurse came in. She took my temperature and checked my pulse. After the check up that she has done, she filled in my details in the paper.
"Well, I'm glad Ray was willing to donate a kidney to you. And it is suitable. You are really lucky, Minnie. I hope you will recover soon." She said, not looking up from the file that she was holding. I looked at Ray in disbelief. Now that explained why he is in the hospital with me but a more complicated mystery is why he donated me a kidney?
"Stop staring at me like that. I know you are wondering why I gave you my kidney, right." I nodded.
"It is fate..." he stopped, and looked at me. Then, he smiled again. "Since my kidney is accepted by your body, then it's meant to be."
End of Flashback
That was how I knew of Ray. He is my saviour. Even though he never gave me any proper explanation regarding his spontaneous decision to give me something so precious to him, but he always tell me that it's worth it.
"I won't regret it..."
My parents were so grateful to him that they invited him to stay over for a month in my house, while I was taking my leave. I was glad that he accepted, and that he would not have to practice during that time.
I was very happy spending that one month with him and I enjoyed every second of it. Even though I would always have to accept the idea that Ray is just like me, but he is still a famous person. And that's fact. You could not neglect that.
In that one month, I found out that Ray likes to smile. He actually looks good putting them on. And I am attached to his crowning glory that he washed every single day.
There was once when he was combing his hair in front of the mirror in the hall, I couldn't stop looking at him. He must have realised I was staring because he stopped combing and turned to look at me.
"So you think I'm different from you because I am a guy and I have longer hair than you?" he sound offended, and I assumed he misunderstood me. I shrugged.
"Well, I'm sorry to say that I... liked guys with long hair. You know those you see in anime. But in reality, they tend to have long unkept hair. And that looks messy."
"So you say I look messy?" He was becoming even more offended. I laughed, looking at him.
"Can I touch your hair? Please..." he raised an eyebrow, and looked at me suspiciously. Then, he turned and let me continue with whatever I intend to do with his hair. The first time touching his locks gave me a new sensation overall. His hair is so soft; it is just like a girl's locks. It was jet black and so straight, even a girl from an advertisement would be jealous of him. I kept running my hands along the strands and he just let me.
"So, do you still like guys with long hair?" he asked, turning to look at me. "Or think they look untidy?" I giggled.
"Well... can I stick to the first choice?"
"It's up to you. I won't hold a knife to your neck and force you to choose one." He continued with his combing, and ignored me as I watched him again. I really admire his mane, and I wish I have such silky locks too.
"If I am you, I will love my hair so much I won't let anyone touch it. I understand why you don't cut them. If mine is just half as silky as yours, I would definitely keep it already" I said, touching his hair again. After he was satisfied with his locks, he walked towards where I was sitting.
"You know what; you are the first person who never asks me why I keep my hair and not willing to cut them. And appreciate my hair as much..." he smiled and walked into the room.
Looking out from the window, all I could see were the fluffy white clouds. As the plane soared higher, the scenery below became less visible. After receiving the phone call from one of the BBA members, I realised that I was not able to concentrate in anything, especially in college. I know the reason and the solution; so there I was in the plane to China.
It was 5.20 pm and the plane would reach China International Airport in 15 minutes. My heart was beating faster as every second ticked away. What would be Ray's reaction when he sees me?
Would he be happy or will he not want me to be there at all? After all, I had begged my parents to let me stop for a semester and continue when Ray feels better. If not I would not been able to go all the way to Shanghai to see him.
Flashback
My phone rang. It was an unknown number. I hesitated about answering, but something in me told me that it was an important call so I picked up the phone.
"Hello... is this Minnie?" the person on the phone asked.
"Yes, may I know who is on the line please?"
"This is Max from the BBA. I'm Ray's team member and I think there is something about him that you should know..." he stopped abruptly and I knew something was not right. My heart was speeding as he conveyed the bad news.
"His is hospitalised due to kidney malfunction. I know you are his friend and that you deserve to know this. He didn't want me to tell you but I really feel you should know..."
End of flashback
I was standing outside the ward. I hesitated to open the door. I was afraid... Afraid that I would find him in a critical condition. It was 8 o'clock and there were not many people along the corridor. I learnt from the nurse at the reception that Ray's team mates had left and he was currently alone. My hand was on the knob, ready to turn it when my phone rang. It was a call from Ray.
"Hi, Minnie... How are you? I am bored so I thought I'll call to check on what you are doing." He sounded cheerful on the line but I know he was not at all. He was alone in the ward, feeling so lost and lonely. I know how scary it was, because a year back I was facing the same thing. I was lucky to survive. My tears started wielding up on my eyes, I don't like to think how Ray would have to face the same scary feelings that I have experienced.
"Ray... Are you fine?" I tried to control the change in my voice. I must not cry.
"Minnie, are you crying? What happened? Are you undergoing a lot of stress in college? Tell me what happened..." he was more concerned about me than himself. Tears started to drop instead. I can't talk now. My voice would betray me. Any sane person would definitely know that I was crying.
"Ray... Are you fine?" I was only able to repeat the question. He did not answer. There was silence for quite a while.
"Yes. Of course I am. But I'm worried about you. What happened to you? Did anyone bully you or something?" he was trying to deny.
"Ray, instead of worrying about me don't you think you should worry about yourself? Why did you keep it a secret from me?" he did not answer. "Am I just that unimportant to you that you don't want to tell me about it or are we not even friends?" He was still silent. I started crying on the phone. I couldn't control my tears. I just could not accept the fact that Ray was in the hospital and he did not even tell me about it.
"Minnie... where are you now? Are you... in the hospital?" The line was cut off. He had put down the phone. After all, he might not want to see me anymore because if he did not donate his kidney to me, he wouldn't have to be here in the first place.
My train of thoughts were broken by the sound of the door opening. It was Ray standing right in front of me, looking at me in disbelief. He was gasping for air and his right hand was holding on the door for support.
"I'm sorry..." With that, he pulled me towards him. He was holding on me so tight that I had difficulty breathing. "I'm sorry, Minnie. I'm glad you've come. I wanted to see you so badly. I miss you so much..." I started crying again. I miss him a lot too, and to realise how he had lost weight and how pale he had became really hurt my heart.
It was a month after he was hospitalised that he started to lock himself in the ward. He did not allow anyone except for his uncle to go in. He did not even let me see him. I was heartbroken and worried. I was worried sick. What had happened to him?
I was walking along the corridor after sending his dinner and I overheard a doctor saying something about kidney. I knew he was talking about Ray.
"If we can't find any suitable kidney for his transplant by this week... the probability for him to pull through will be very low..."
His uncle gave me a letter from him one day. It was on the fifth day after I overheard the doctors' conversation. I tried to go see him but he didn't let me in. He even threatened to send me home if I insist so I had to give up. I have to be near him until the end of his fight. I have to be there...
"Ray, please open the door... please..."
"Go away, Minnie..."
"Ray, what's happening to you? Why are you locking yourself up? Why won't you let me in?" I tried banging on the door, but with my strength, it wouldn't even bulge.
"Go away, Minnie. Or else I will have you sent back to Japan. Just go..." his voice was so near I knew he was just behind the door. I know he can hear my sobs but he just didn't open the door.
I was in the room overlooking the sunset when I read his letter.
Dear Minnie,
I feel awful having to write my confession instead of telling it to you but I have no choice. I don't want you to see me in such condition.
The reason why I kept it a secret from you is because I know you would start blaming yourself of what happened to me. I would still want to say that I did not regret giving my kidney to you. I think it's worth giving you something that belongs to me. Most probably I will be a part of your memory. I am glad that I am finally going to tell you the real reason. Before that, I would like you to go to a place.
I followed his request and found myself standing in a stop, built on top of a pond. There were full bloomed lotus everywhere, and there were dragonflies here and there. It was a serene place. However, I seemed to know that place. I have been there before. But it was a few years ago during a school trip to China.
I sat on the Chinese designed chair in the stop and continued the letter.
Do you remember this place? It was where I first met you. Maybe you didn't realise I was there but you were talking to yourself at that time weren't you?
When he first met me? Did he knows me?
Flashback
"Um... do you know me?"
"Yes... but I'm not sure if you would know me,"
End of Flashback
"Don't give up. This is not the end of the world yet. You have to stand up and continue with your life..."
Don't be shocked if the line seems familiar. At that moment, I was at the verge of killing myself when I found out that my dad was going to remarry. I felt that my family was crashed. I hated my life. I felt like ending it. But you came along and started saying these words. I still remember you were wearing a white skirt and your hair was tied up in a ponytail. It makes you looked really like an angel. It was as if you were talking to me. And... you sang. I love your voice and the song you sang. I just wish I could hear your voice again. Those little things that you did really meant a lot to me. If you weren't there, I would not even live until now. The song you sang gave me the strength that I needed and I belief that since I was arranged to meet you for the first time, I will see you again. I was having a beybattle in Japan when I was injured and was sent to the hospital for a treatment. I saw you being pushed into the emergency room. How can I ever forget that face? I had made a vow to myself that I must repay you for what you did to save me five years ago and it came true. But after the one month I spent with you, I want more than just repaying you. I want to hold you forever and I hope that can come true too. But most probably it will not. Don't blame yourself for anything. It's not your fault. And if I can choose whether I should meet you for the first time, I will still choose yes. Because I came to realise there is someone as important as myself to me. I am really happy that I have learnt that before I have to leave for good.
His letter made me thought hard. My memories travelled back to when I was having the trip. I was very angry at one of the girls as she embarrassed me in front of everyone and I could do nothing so I walked to the pond where no one would bother me. Trying to comfort myself, I said those words aloud and sang. I remembered seeing someone with jet black hair walking away... then it must have been him.
Now, I want you to go on strong if I really have to leave you. I hope you will be able to restrain yourself from crying if you ever visit me. Do you know how your tears hurt my heart? I don't like seeing you cry... I don't like to think about how there will not be anyone to wipe away your tears if I'm gone. Promise me...
I love you
Ray
How can I not cry when I read that letter? As a matter of fact, I couldn't stop crying. I just could not...
I stood in front of the carved stone, holding a bouquet of flower. The wind was blowing slowly, making my hair fly. Looking at the gravestone, I wander what would happen if he did not donate the kidney.
It was a last minute miracle that happened. There was a man who was involved in a fatal accident, and he has a donator card, with a kidney that was suitable for Ray. The operation was very risky but Ray did not want to give up. He wanted to take the risk, just like what he did when he decided to give me his kidney. He gave me the kidney that was functioning normally instead.
It was five days since his operation and everyone was waiting for him to wake up. His team mates were visiting him every day, not forgetting his friends from the White Tigers. The paper crane that we have made was hung all across the room. It must have sum up to a hundred. He must pull through. He has to...
But, he did not seem to show any sign of recovery. In fact, he was becoming paler. I was so afraid that I don't even dare to walk out from his ward. I didn't want to return and find that he was gone...
I was sitting on the chair beside his bed, looking at him. Thinking of the things that we have done together and the letter that he had wrote to me, I started to cry again. I realised how weak I have became ever since he was admitted to the hospital. I also realised how important he was to me that everything that I do, just reminded me of him.
"Didn't I say your tears will break my heart..." I looked up when I heard the faint voice. His eyes were half opened and he was smiling. "I love you, Minnie" he held my hand against his lips and kissed my fingers. I was dumbfounded and was just rooted to the ground.
When the doctor came to check on him, he was pronounced to be stable. I was so happy that I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. All I could do was smile to him... and whispered something into his ears.
I love you too, Ray.
It was raining and water droplets were formed on the surface of the lotus. Ripples were formed in the pond, where the rain hits the surface. I was alone at the stop, waiting for the rain to stop. It was 3 years since Ray was admitted and somehow I just wished I could forget about what had happened. But as I said, it is a fact and it can't be denied. I don't like to think how much Ray had suffered because of me when I can't do anything but to cry. I looked at the lotus and Ray's reflection appeared in my mind. The tiger had definitely appeared in my mind more often than I'm comfortable with.
"Minnie, I wonder if you are thinking about me?" the figure in the rain said. "Or are you thinking about someone else..." his brown umbrella was making loud noises when the rain hit on it.
"No, I'm just thinking about Ray Kon." I looked at him, as he walked into the stop for shelter.
"But I have walked in the rain to meet you here, and you're thinking about Ray Kon? That's not fair..." he hugged me, while I snuggled into him for comfort. "I wonder when you will start thinking about me."
"Well, when you are not Ray..." he smiled, and kissed my forehead.
"Really? Then I guess that will never happen. Even though I have someone's kidney I'm still Ray." He joked. I agree.
After a moment of silence, I looked at him.
"Ray, you look nice in white. It makes you look like an angel..."
"Then I shall be your angel. Forever..." he said, holding me closer to him.
END
