When I'm Not Around

AN: I originally wrote this for Iggy at LiveJournal for a Christmas fic swap. Sadly, my muse wasn't working and I ran out of time so it's really not as good as I would have liked it to be. But I thought I'd post it here and see what you guys thought. And, being the wonderful busy and forgetful person that I am, I haven't even read the other fics from that (including mine). Whoopsie... Note to self: read fics as soon as possible.

The title for this story comes from part of a line from a song my brother wrote for a play of his that was performed recently in Chicago. He gave us copies of the music and the script for Christmas, and as I listened to it I realized in a way it really suited this story, so I took part of one of the recurring lines and made it the title.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I do like the recent focus on Miroku and Sango, though!


It was starting out like any other day. During their travels, the group had come across a distraught village. Apparently a demon had been attacking their homes and fields during the night and this wandering group of exterminators seemed to be their best bet.

Inuyasha was not happy about it, as usual. "Naraku's our first concern," he complained, but the others disagreed, feeling it was their duty to help these people. A few minutes and an osuwari later, they had taken on the job of getting rid of whatever was plaguing their village.

However, it was still the afternoon, and Miroku had insisted they get plenty of rest. The others agreed, although not without some grumbling from Inuyasha. Miroku had also seemed a little more persistent about staying there than usual, and Sango did not take this attitude lightly. The monk was obviously up to something.

They got themselves settled into the house where they would be staying, one of the largest and wealthiest in the village. Shortly after they finished arranging their things, a few servants entered the room with trays of food. It was at this point that Sango discerned the reasoning behind Miroku's "advice."

One of the workers in the house happened to be a very striking young woman, probably around her own age. She was slowly beginning to suspect that he had seen this girl earlier, as she was making it a point to be the one serving him. Sango frowned. This was going to be one of those days again.

"Is everything to your liking?" the girl asked as she finished placing the tray in front of him.

"Oh, yes, everything is just fine," he replied with a grin. The girl giggled a little. Sango shot a scowl in their direction, but she apparently went unnoticed, as this flirtation continued throughout the entirety of their meal.

She didn't eat much, claiming to not be very hungry. Why did no one seem to notice how angry she was? Kagome was usually on her side when it came to Miroku and his problems, but even she seemed to be overlooking it this time. There wasn't much she could do about it without being rude or causing bodily harm to both Miroku and the girl. Sango finally sighed. It was time to put an end to this, even if it meant she had to use a different kind of force on him.

By the time they had finished bringing them food, the sun was beginning to set. Inuyasha completely ignored the person cleaning up his dishes and stood near the door, occasionally sniffing the air for any sign of the demon. The girl seemed to be taking her time picking up all of Miroku's dishes. He smiled as he watched her. She really was quite beautiful. If only he could stay there a bit longer…

Miroku involuntarily felt a sharp pain in his head. He knew he wasn't supposed to be thinking like that. It was just that sometimes when he saw a very beautiful woman, he couldn't help reacting. Apparently his outward displays of this and the usual punishment had left an impact on him. Nervously, he turned his head to look at Sango, only to find that she was no longer sitting next to him. He blinked in surprise. "Where did Sango go?" he asked, turning his gaze to Kagome as the servants left the room.

"She left a few minutes ago while you were staring at that girl," she replied with a frown. Miroku sighed. Something told him this wasn't going to go well.

He stood up and headed out the door, Inuyasha grunting a little as he passed. Miroku had no idea of where she could have gone, but he assumed she was at least still in the village. He began walking the grounds of the estate, trying to see if he could find her in the fading light. After a few minutes later he saw her walking out of the front gate of the house. He picked up his pace and started following her, hoping to catch up to her before she vanished somewhere in the town.

As it turned out, he had no need to worry about losing track of her. She stopped several yards away from the house, standing silently in an empty, grassy area. Miroku cautiously approached her, not sure of what her initial reaction would be when she saw him. "Uh, Sango?" he began tentatively as he reached her, trying his best to look at her face although her back was to him.

"We need to talk, Houshi-sama," she suddenly said coldly.

"Um, yes, about that…"

"I'm tired of your excuses!" she suddenly exclaimed, now facing him angrily. "You asked me if I would stay with you and I said yes. Why are you still doing this?"

Miroku frowned a little, trying to think of the right things to say to her. "It's not that I haven't been trying, Sango," he finally replied. "I haven't asked one woman to bear my child since I asked you."

"That's not enough," she said, still scowling at him. "I've seen you go after plenty of girls since then, and you haven't seemed to stop yourself with them at all until I say something."

"Well, Sango, I…" he began, sounding very unsure. Why did he do that, anyway? "I can't help it," he suddenly blurted out.

He immediately cringed. That was definitely the wrong answer.

Sango took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "You have to help it, Houshi-sama," she finally said. "This relationship hasn't been clear to me at all since it began, and the first thing we need to work on is the way you act around women if this is going to work out."

Miroku thought for a moment. "You're right, Sango," he finally said. "I can't keep doing this. It's not fair to you. I'll try my best to stop myself."

"Trying isn't enough," she replied. "You have to stop it completely. Right now."

"...You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not, Houshi-sama. I can't put up with it anymore. If you do it again, I can't keep that promise I made to you."

He stared at her in shock. "You're telling me that if I flirt with a woman just one more time you're going to leave me?" he exclaimed. "Sango, that's a little too harsh, isn't it? Shouldn't we take this step by step?"

"I am," she answered. "This is the only way you'll learn."

"Sango, when have I really gone too far since I asked you . . . "

"Well, there was that nun, for one," she began, frowning.

Miroku sighed. "Okay, maybe I can get out of line. But you really can't expect me to just stop like that. I can't explain it, Sango, it just happens sometimes when I see a. . . . "

"A pretty girl?" she finished, frowning. "I noticed. This is why it has to be like this, Houshi-sama. If I give you any room at all, you'll never stop. You're always staring at other women. Sometimes I wish you'd look at me like that . . . "

"Sango, trust me, you don't want me to look at you like that."

There was a silence for a few moments. "If you care about me at all you'll promise me that you'll stop," she finally replied.

Miroku didn't answer for several seconds. Suddenly, he grabbed her and pulled her toward him, holding her against him. Sango blushed in shock, not sure of what to say or do.

"I'll do it for you, Sango," he said quietly, continuing to hold her. "I promise I'll quit."

"You swear you will?" she asked just as softly, raising her head to look at him.

"Yes."

"You swear on us that you won't do anything verging on lecherous around another girl again?"

"Yes, Sango, I swear I will," he said, raising his voice a little in frustration. "You can leave me completely if I do."

They stayed as they were for a while, neither of them seeming to want to move or make a sound. There was something strangely peaceful about it, looking at each other as he held her.

Just then, there was a crashing sound in the distance. They quickly pulled apart from each other, looking toward the source of the sound and seeing a pillar of dust rising.

"Hey, you two!" they heard Inuyasha calling. "Knock it off and get over here! The demon finally showed up!"

Miroku looked at Sango, whose cheeks were still slightly pink. "Uh, I need to get my things," she said softly, motioning toward the house.

He nodded. "Right. I'll go help the others." With that, they ran in opposite directions.


The long night had ended, and the demon finally lay slain just outside the village. The group was exhausted, but the light of the sun was finally beginning to peek over the horizon, which meant to Inuyasha that it was time to get moving again, although the villagers and his teammates implored them to stay.

"We can't thank you enough," the owner of the estate said. "Our entire village gives you it's deepest gratitude."

"It was nothing," Inuyasha grumbled. "Come on, let's get moving before Naraku gets too far ahead of us."

"Nothing?" Kagome exclaimed. "It practically took us the whole night to kill it! I think we should get some rest here first."

"Hey, I stuck around here and helped these people. Isn't that enough?!" he replied.

"We're not half demons like you! We need to sleep before we start traveling again."

"Quit complaining."

"You're the one complaining."

"I hope you come here again," a voice suddenly interrupted. They all turned and saw the servant girl from the day before standing there and smiling.

"Well, if you're still here, I definitely wouldn't mind staying the night," Miroku said with a laugh.

The girl giggled as she waved and walked back into the grounds of the house.

It took Miroku a few moments to realize what he had just done. The words had just come out so naturally; he hadn't even thought before he said it. In fact, he continued smiling surrounded by his shocked friends for several seconds before the grin suddenly left his face. He quickly turned his head to where Sango had been standing, but she had already vanished.

He glanced at Kagome, only to get a very angry scowl in return. He quickly looked at Inuyasha, who only gave him a stupefied expression in reply and pointed in what he assumed to be the direction Sango had taken off in. Miroku immediately ran.

Why had he done that? He had sworn to Sango that he wouldn't, so why had he let himself slip like that? It didn't help that he didn't even know what he was saying. Therein lay the problem, he suddenly realized. Womanizing was in his nature. Surly if he explained to her that it was just a bad habit ingrained into his everyday life she would forgive him.

He finally found Sango standing near the edge of a small forest, her back to him. The light from the rising sun was just reaching her, and a slight glint was coming from her armor. He stopped several feet away from her. "Sango, I-" he began before being cut off.

"You promised, Houshi-sama," she said quietly. "You promised you wouldn't do that anymore."

"I know," he replied, looking at the ground. "I just can't control it sometimes, Sango. I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time."

"You swore to me," she continued, still not facing him. "How am I supposed to trust you if you're that quick to break a promise?"

"Sango, please, hear me out."

"No!" she exclaimed, finally turning to face him, her tears flying off her face as she did. "We had a deal, Houshi-sama, and I'm keeping my side of it."

"Sango, you have to listen to me," he said imploringly, taking a few steps toward her.

"Stay back," she said quietly, frowning at him as tears still streamed down her cheeks.

"Please, Sango," he said, lowering his tone. "Look, I know what I did was wrong. I know that every time I've done it is wrong. It's just that my father and Mushin both acted like that around women and those were the only role models I had. It's been a part of me ever since I was a child. I can't make it go away overnight."

"You promised," she whispered, barely audible as she choked down her sobs.

"Just because I can't just stop myself right away doesn't mean I can't stop at all, Sango," he continued, finally closing the gap between them. "You know I've been getting better with it, and with time I can overcome this weakness. I just can't do it in a few hours."

Miroku looked at her for a few moments, her eyes now closed as she clenched her fists. She made no sign of replying, hiccuping a little as she continued to cry.

"I don't want any other woman than you and I mean that. Sango, give me another chance. Please."

She lowered her head, silently sobbing for a few moments. Miroku stayed in front of her, tentatively reaching a hand toward her shoulder.

Suddenly she looked up at him, the tears now gone and her expression intent. He was slightly taken aback by this, but was even more surprised when she put her hands on his shoulders and softly kissed him.

Miroku felt as though all the worry had been lifted from his heart, finally placing his hand on her back and returning the kiss.

After a few moments she pulled away, looking at him sternly once again. "I can't," she finally said, quickly walking around him and heading back toward the village.