Kuma:First Manual fic. plz enjoy!

Ever: Kuma doesn't own Hetalia, and the Manuals belong to Lollidictator, who i believe must be very creative to come up with such a great idea as this.

Chapter 1: The World Hates Me

Hello. I'm Evangeline, but you can call me Ever. I live on a old, brokendown ranch in Idaho, miles from the nearest neighbor. The only company i have is a husky-wolf named Courage and a horse named Foxfire, along with various goats(which used to belong to my grandpa.I don't own them, they're just there). I write and practically live online, and some dozen people asked me to enter the National Writing Competition. So a couple months ago I sent in a story, and now we're here in the present. I opened the door and a man from Flying Mint Bunny Corparation was standing there.

"Hello. You Have Won the National Writing Competition, sponsered by FMB co. Your prize is our wonderful and revaloutianary Hetalia Units. You will recieve these at random points over a year." His voice was dull, probably had to say this to everyone who ordered/accidentally clicked/won/received the hetalia units. "So,here's your first unit. Please remember FMB co. is not responsible for any injuries."

"What's your name?"

"Kent. Since you seem nice, I hope you aren't killed." Wait, these things can kill you... These units don't sound as safe anymore. I dragged the box inside and picked up the manual.

Alfred F. Jones

So I got America first. How is this going to kill me again? I flipped to the waking up your unit section.

Removal of your ALFRED F. JONES from Packaging:

Your ALFRED F. JONES unit is a happy, energetic unit - for the most part - and there are rarely any problems with waking him up. It is impossible to accidentally knock him into a dangerous mode when removing him from his package; the most you need to worry about is him being too happy and energetic. In order to avoid that, we have provided you with a few ways that you can wake him carefully and get right to work on any reprogramming you might want to do!

1. Play the American national anthem, or any patriotic American song. Loudly. Your unit will respond immediately, singing horribly out-of-tune until the song is over; you can reprogram him during this time, and the faster you do this the faster he'll stop singing.

hmm. I don't have any patriotic songs at my house, and I can't sing.

2. Put on a kid's superhero show or movie (preferably Superman or Batman) loud enough to be heard down the street. Your unit will whine for you to let him out of the box, and will run to the television as soon as you do. While he watches, you can reprogram him; however, be warned that if your chosen superhero is prone to striking heroic poses, your unit might jump up and do them as well.

Don't keep any of those around either. Maybe the next one...

3. Speak with a British accent or in Russian. ALFRED F. JONES will reply positively to the first one, and a little coldly to the second, but he will get up anyway.

That I can do. I cleared my thrrought before I spoke a near perfect English Accent

"Alfred! get up you bloody wanker!"

"Artie!"

The top of the flew off the box, hitting the ceiling. The blond man was looking around the room for Arthur.

"Sorry, he's not here. I'm Ever."

"Hi! I'm Alfred F. Jones, The HERO!"

"Nice ta meet ya. Welcome to The Middle Of Nowhere, Idaho. Wanna see your room?"

"Sounds good." I led him to one of the many spare rooms my grandfather added. He loved company, so that he built tons of guest rooms so he could have a lot of people over for a while. But as I walked he stared at my leg.

"What happened to your..." His cheery voice was somber.

"You mean my leg? I lost it and had to get a prosthetic one." I strained to keep the smile on my face. How could he have known not to talk to me about it? I glanced at the clock. 6:30. I pulled out the microwave waffles.

"Hey Alfred! Do you want dinner?" I asked half shouting.

"Sure! I'm starved! Let's go to McDonalds!" He replied, racing down and tumbling past me. "Owwww, that hurt." I laughed.

"Let's Nuke some Waffles!"

"You're eating waffles for dinner?"

"I can also make Bacon,Toast,Bagels,Nuke Pancakes, Hotpockets, and anything that doesn't need an oven/or boiling water/mixing!" A sweatdrop seemed to appear on Alfred's head. Cue my chibi going into emo corner.

"Why don't we go grab McDonalds. The Hero must eat!"

"The it's about an hours drive away. So let's eat my waffles or STARVE." We decided to eat the waffles. MMM... Waffles with lemon juice and sugar are delish, no matter what time you eat them. We watched *Insert Scary Movie Here* Alfred is a big coward, ya know. He also tryed to save me from "a huge wolf". It was Courage, my dog. I finally fell asleep.

Kuma:Please review, a couple things...

Flying Mint Bunny Corporation belongs to Elitekessu for Why Me, an awesomazing manual fic. If you like manual fics, i reccomend Why Me and Thanks for the countries,mom because tftcm is by my bff, and it needs readers.

I don't live in Idaho,have a prosthetic leg, own a horse, or have a giant dog. I got Idaho out of nowhere, the leg out of an article on mines in cambodia, the horse from nowhere, and the dog from some friends. Her name is Becca. But I can't cook.

Iggy:She's worse than me.

Kuma: and England has been kidnapped by me, and reviewers can try to petition for me to *coughcaptureyourfavoritecough* set him free.

Ever: BTW saying plz update soon does nothing to Kuma's speed. please tell her about OOCness or any other problems with the story, anything exceptionally good, requests, or inprovements.

Kuma: and I won't post until i've fully written the next chapter. PLZ REVIEW PEOPLS