"I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn't know what to do." — F. Scott Fitzgerald
Jane was exhausted close to inertia but she couldn't sleep. She shut her eyes and tried to slow down her breathing yet it wasn't enough to soothe her mind and let her embrace slumber. That had felt like the longest day. Well, the longest days, actually, with Kitty's death, Rose almost getting killed, all the turmoil involved in the Flower Maidens event, the moment she had first noticed her mother pacing in front of the house and the dramatic development of her night-time visit to the boarding house. Just going through it mentally was tiring enough.
Tucked in her own bed, with the clothes pulled up to her nose, Jane was safe now. Safe and relieved, eased by the knowledge that her mother was being well looked after at Aster House, a comfortable facility in the outskirts of the city where she would be able to get the help she needed, shielded from the close to horrifying conditions of most psychiatric hospitals, and where she could visit her anytime she wanted.
At first, her mother had declined Miss Fisher's gesture. She appreciated her kindness, but she couldn't bring herself to accept it and be another burden, especially since she had been taking such good care of her Jane already. She would never be able to pay back such expense nor concern. Miss Phryne had assured her that her assistance would never come with a price and neither would it happen regarding Jane's education and keep. That's what guardians and family did. For starters, she could stay with them for some days until she decided what she was going to do. That offer had seemed simple enough for her mother to take and she had heartily and honestly thanked Miss Fisher. She could help with the house chores, she was good at that and she would be very careful this time and double check everything she did. Miss Fisher had acquiesced, as Mr Butler and Dot would certainly find the help welcome, she had said. The prospective of being useful had brought out a certain liveliness to her mother that had both pleased and frightened Jane. I was obviously good to see her feel invigorated and involved, but Jane knew by experience that it would all come crashing down soon.
«Mother», Jane had said as they sat by the bay window to read a couple more pages of a Henry Lawson short story. «I am very glad to have you here», she smiled as encouragingly as she could muster. Jane was sincere, she had seen her mother for the last time too many years ago.
«I am so happy too, Jane», Anna said, squeezing her daughter's hands between hers, smiling back, her eyes shining with love.
The girl nodded, unsure about how to approach the situation at hand.
A/n: First of all, thank you for reading the first chapter of this fic. You'll be able to find the following ones right away.
As mentioned in the synopsis, this is my contribution to February's Challenge of MFMM Year of Quotes.
Given that it's February, the Valentine's thing, the quotes presented, and how I've already mentioned both Fitzgerald and Jane Austen in previous fics and MFMM context, I thought I would dive into this with Phryne x Jack feels first, but it turned out that Jane was the one that came into my mind when it was time to actually write.
Once again, I've chosen not to read further about the quote or its context and go from what those precise words elicited in me.
Apart from the glimpse into Jane's life at the horrid boarding house, we know very little of how she got there and what happened and while what we saw was rather loveless, it was possible to see that Anna did care for her daughter and given Jane's behaviour, I got the feeling that she would have had people who cared about her before she had come to Wardlow. Basically, that's the fic. A long headcanon I had never actually considered until now, but which I have included in my view of the MFMM world.
I acknowledge that it may get sad sometimes but apparently my current niche is 'sad and depressing fic'. Perhaps not what you are looking for when you do search for stories to read, but I hope it's not too disappointing if you decide to read it.
As usual, your feedback is deeply appreciated. I love to hear from you.
Thank you again and I hope you enjoy this story.
