Disclaimer: I don't own Kat or Patrick (much as I wish I did) but I do own the plot. And the 5 score and 7 years ago CD. =]


Kat's voice was rising, her face was growing pink, and her temper was flaring. She was in the middle of a heated debate on foreign aid, and the kids she was arguing her point against were ignorant little snobs who had no clue about global affairs.

"Stop putting words in my mouth!" one, bolder or stupider than the rest, said.

"I'm not putting words in you mouth! I wouldn't go near your mouth!" She flung back contemptuously, disgusted by his obvious absorption in his meaningless, consumer-driven life. "Or any other part of your anatomy, for that matter!" she spat out venomously, her eyes narrowing to sparking chocolate slits.

"Hey!" the boy, a know ladies-man, could not take the blow to his ego, so he strode over apishly to land a blow to Kat, and since he was unable to do that intellectually, he resolved to do it physically. Kat straightened, as fired up as he, and was about to pummel the self-centered gigolo when Mr. McDonald, a teacher large enough to be The Rock's twin, stepped in between them. "Stratford, office, now."

"But he --"

"NOW."

"And just so everybody knows, the Freedom Of Choice Act is one of the most feebleminded, moronic, dim-witted, ethically unsound pieces of legislature ever passed because it funnels our government's money - our tax dollars - into morally corrupt proceedings! And will cause our grandchildren and their grandchildren and their grandchildren to end up paying billions of dollars more than they already are to China!" With that she snatched up her backpack and stalked out, being sure to slam the door, so it appeared as if leaving were her idea, the dramatic conclusion to her rant.

Just as she entered the hall, a door a few classrooms down opened and shut on the sounds of a teacher's ineffective protests, and there stood Patrick.

His unruly dark curls were as unkempt as ever, but his usually inimical eyes turned uncharacteristically sweet as soon as they lit upon Kat. He flashed his wide white grin. "Hey there, girlie."

"Patrick! Wow - great timing!" She beamed, too, and flitted over to his side, her long blond hair swinging and dangerous air evaporating instantaneously. He kissed her lips softly and then slung his long arm around her shoulders as she tucked neatly against his side.

"Not really. I heard you yelling through the walls and decided we could ditch this place and go have some fun." He smiled down impishly at her.

As mischievous as Patrick, she smirked up at him. "What kind of fun?"

"Oh, you know - defacing property, instigating conflagrations, mutilating neighbor's pets, abducting and corrupting small children…" he trailed off enthusiastically.

Kat giggled. "The usual."

"Or, y'know, we could go drop by Ms. Perky's - where I presume you, Missy, 've been sent - and then hit up a Wendy's and have a picnic…?"

Kat frowned. "And support fast-food chains, where the majority of America's obesity epidemic problems originate?"

"How about Delaware's, then, Rebel?" He blew in her face playfully.

Kat nodded in the affirmative. "You got it, Buster."

He leaned down and nuzzled her neck, then stuck his tongue in her ear. Patrick swiftly dodged a swipe for his gut, then recaptured Kat in an embrace from behind, pinning her arms to her sides. He rested his chin on her head as they ambled along the deserted hallway, her black backpack crushed between them.

They stopped in at Ms. Perky's office. Although she not surprised to see either of them, she was a little surprised to see them together, but gave them the usual speech to stop acting like the delinquents she knew they were, at least for a few more months until they graduated and were someone else's problem. Then she inquired if they would do some community service to atone for their bad behavior by fornicating in front of her (for purposes yet undisclosed), which they both immediately rejected, repulsed at her perverted mind.

Patrick gave his keys to Scurvy (whom he carpooled with) so that his best friend and neighbor could drive his car home, and then Patrick and Kat finally approached Kat's Dart. After a brief and playful spat over who would drive, they set out to the local chicken farm and restaurant, Delaware's; Patrick manned the pedals while Kat sat on his lap, steering. They pulled into Delaware's, and Patrick bought some chicken strips and hot sauce.

"Next stop, Mount Rainier!" Patrick declared grandly in his smooth, deep voice. They drove there with another joint effort, parked, and hiked a little bit off into the forest.

When Patrick found a old, enormous pine tree he particularly liked, he took the bag of food in his mouth and scampered up it, his tall, muscular frame surprisingly graceful and squirrelly.

Kat gaped, wondering how it was physically possible, but also realizing how absolutely lucky she was.

When he reached a branch he deemed appropriately high, he balanced the food on it and peered down. "Well, come on, then. You won't die from a fall from this height!" Patrick's brow furrowed between his eyes as he reconsidered. "Well, not unless you land really stupidly. Like, on your head."

Kat frowned at that last remark, and Patrick beamed roguishly and exclaimed in his Aussie accent, "Well, we can't have you damage your pretty little head, now, could we? So I won't let you fall and die."

Kat couldn't restrain a smile, and started up. Patrick knew to let her do it herself (feminists, he though to himself with a mental sigh), but when she was almost to Patrick's' chosen branch, he couldn't resist and reached down and grabbed her wrists, pulling her up. She squeezed her eyes shut and a little squeak escaped her as she dangled over 40 feet in the air, only Patrick's hands keeping her from plummeting. When he sat her on his lap, adjusting her so she would be most comfortable against his hard chest, she breathed a sigh of relief. He kissed her neck, and then her cheek. "You didn't think I'd let you fall, did you?"

"NO, the thought never even crossed my mind!" she cried sarcastically, throwing up her arms. But then Kat reassessed and picked up his arm and kissed the inside of the wrist that had most definitely not dropped her.

"That's what I thought," Patrick whispered smugly in her ear, before kissing her thoroughly, 40 feet in the air.


Like it? Hate it? Indifferent? I want to hear it all! Review, please! :D (although, if you don't like it, I find it far more constructive if you tell me why you disliked it. That way, I can work on that in the future) -Lion