A/N I'm free this summer and have a lot of time on my hands, plus the new movie inspired me. I'm excited to be writing again. Hope you enjoy. Set in the Severed Ties Universe.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, also this is mature content.
Jim's eyes flew open as he sat up quickly in bed. The sheets pooled around his waist and he looked at the monitor by his bed that he accidentally left on. An old Terran movie was playing because he couldn't quite fall asleep last night. He took a quick glance at the chronometer and groaned, it was two in the goddamn morning.
He threw himself back into the pillows and stared at the ceiling. He didn't dare close his eyes. His vision would be filled with the sight of his first officer who frequented his dreams lately. He never got his answer dammit! It had been well over a year and to this day the only things Spock talks to him about is the daily business of the ship. Anytime he even attempted to talk to the Vulcan he always found some sort of interruption or way to head off Kirk before he asked a question or said too much. But this was killing him. His chest thudded painfully anytime the man spoke, his body ached for the connection that first brought him to life back at the academy when Spock had saved him from drowning in the Starfleet Academy's aquatic training center.
He turned off the monitor and went to shower hoping the hot water would relax away the tension that was winding his frame tight. In the bathroom the mirror flashed him the schedule for the upcoming month and his eyes zeroed in on one of his most dreaded days of the year. The medical examination. He shivered as he remembered last year when Bones chased him halfway across campus before they wound up in the fountain and Jim managed to climb up the tiers and was perched on the top as his friend attempted to climb up after him, and failing miserably.
Jim chuckled and remembered the water was running in his bathroom and hopped in. He closed his ice blue eyes as the stream covered his aching body and tilted his head back under the spray. He let his mind finally wander back to the one person that always circled his brain. The captain's cock started to spring to life at the mere thought of the Vulcan.
Jim pictured them in the shower together, green-tinged knuckles running through his hair as he was on his knees, begging for The Vulcan's cock. He seemed well endowed if the regulated uniform was anything to go by. Jim's mind continued with his fantasy as he grabbed his growing erection slowly stroking himself, biting his lower lip.
"Oh, Spock." He murmured aloud, and in his dream he took the long shaft into his mouth and began to suck tentatively, cheeks hollowed. He pictured the Vulcan looking down at him, running his electrifying hands across his shoulders and cupping his face as he worked his mouth expertly.
Kirk was close his toes curling and rising up on his feet.
"Jim," Dream Spock mused, with the hint of a smirk. His eyes were half-lidded in the steam of the shower water rushing down his normally pristine hair.
"I-"
The Vulcan was cut off as Jim took his whole member down his throat feeling the searing hot sperm shoot down his throat swallowing the salty liquid.
Jim came with a shout as Dream Spock pulled him up for a kiss that was sweet and conveyed more than anything his face ever would reveal.
The Captain opened his eyes, leaning against the tile, he looked down at his belly watching his seed be washed away by the hot water that was starting to turn warm. He finished washing up and wrapped a towel around his waist before flopping back on his bed with a groan.
Luckily his little escapade allowed him to get some shut eye for just a little bit longer because the next time he awoke it was to the sound of his alarm beeping loudly and quite often. Finally, something to take his mind off of his own personal problems.
He got dressed, grabbed a quick bite to eat before heading to the bridge. The turbolift opened on the way up and Bones entered. He did a double take and looked at Jim.
"You look like hell." He said without any filter.
"Gee, thanks Bones." He scoffed shaking his head.
"Jim, how much sleep did you get last night?" He asked with concern coloring his tone. He wasn't sordid all the time and Jim was really worrying him. Ever since Nero Jim was having a hard time sleeping. It wasn't the Romulan that was bothering him. It was the fact he had to provoke Spock and caused him to be emotionally compromised.
They had been in space for a while, and granted the Enterprise was quite large but not when you're the Captain. Leonard knew this.
What he didn't know is that Spock had been bothering him since their first encounter.
He pulled out a tricorder to start scanning his friend, but Jim waved it away. "I'm fine, Bones." His CMO huffed and shook his head. "If you're feeling tired, I want you back in your quarters. I don't want you passing out on the bridge, you hear me?"
"Loud and clear." Jim couldn't help but smirk at his best friend, he was only looking out for him, which was really endearing. The turbolift opened up to the bridge, jim turned to his friend and flashed him a grin. "I'll see you for dinner." He said patting him on the arm before getting off and walking onto the bridge.
"Mr. Sulu, you are relieved." Jim's voice filled the ship and smiled at the pilot that was sitting in his chair. He looked sheepish as he got up.
"The conn is all yours Captain." He offered. Jim gave a nod feeling a soft spot for Sulu thinking how he'll make a great Captain someday.
Right as he was going to sit down Spock and Uhura entered the bridge simultaneously, sending an aching pain to Jim's side.
They silently went to their stations. Luckily for Jim, Spock began his scans of the planet below, recording his findings only nodding in greeting.
It was quiet for most of the shift, the captain was just trying to focus on their mission they were probably going planetside tomorrow and he was putting together his away team so they could explore a bit.
He looked up when he felt a presence looming slightly behind him. Jim was startled as he looked to find Spock. "Yes, commander?" He offered quietly, slightly out of it.
"Our shift is over and your PADD has indicated it has several messages from Doctor McCoy."
"Oh." Jim offered, brain slightly jumbled.
"You are relieved from the conn," another voice offered as the unnamed ensign stood next to the chair.
He nodded and stood up from the silver chair stretching his stiff back and groaning taking steps toward the turbolift. He thought Spock was about to step on with him but he froze and stared at Jim. The captain couldn't tell what the look meant as the door shut and he was thrust down to the Med Bay.
He waved at nurse Chapel and greeted a few others before he let himself into the doctor's office. "Hey Bones, he greeted sitting down in a plush chair across from his friend.
"Hay's for horses Jim, where in the hell have you been? I messaged you three times. Your shift was over an hour ago."
"Sorry, I guess I got sort of lost in my work." He offered scratching the back of his head.
Bones didn't hesitate in what he was going to say next, "Jim, I'm really worried about you. I feel like lately you're going through the motions and at dinner you've been eating less and I've looked at the readouts from your room, you maybe only get two or three hours of sleep tops."
Jim couldn't hold his gaze as his friend stepped around the desk and put his hands on Jim's shoulders to get his attention. What's eating away at you, kid?"
Watching Jim lose himself was causing the Doctor's heart to break, he couldn't let that happen to Jim. He deserved being Captain of the Enterprise and Bones didn't want to watch him gain it all for it to be taken away if it was something he could fix. He was a doctor dammit! He was going to fix it.
"We're gonna eat and you'll tell me what's runnin' around in that damn brain of yours, deal?"
Jim stared at McCoy he could feel the hot tears threatening to spill as he took a deep breath and could only nod, if he spoke now he wasn't sure if he could prevent the inevitable breakdown.
They made their way to Jim's quarters, the room clean and tidy compared to the mess it was this morning, the scheduled cleaning keeping it pristine and neat. McCoy began to replicate food as Jim sat at the large desk. HIs friend returned with steaming plates of food a steak and salad was set in front of Jim, and McCoy had the same, with a couple bowls of fruit set aside for after.
The Doctor waited patiently for Jim allowing him time to process what he had to say, knowing the kids mind ran a thousand mile a minute.
"You remember that one time you had to fix my ribs fractured ribs at the academy?"
"You're going to have to be a bit more specific than that." He deadpanned taking cutting off another piece of steak before biting it off and chewing thoughtfully.
Jim pushed around another bite of salad with his fork as Bones gave him a knowing look and he sighed, eating it instead.
"Ooookay, uh remember the time I almost drowned?"
Bones sat back in his chair for a moment but it wasn't too long before he snapped back. "That's right, Spock was the one that..." He trailed off in thought.
"Damn, Jim. Sometimes i still think it is a small world afterall. Weird he helped you out back then before you even knew each other."
He was partially done with his late and he looked over at Jim his face was even more pale.
"Does this have to do with the hobgoblin?"
Jim nodded and attempted another bite nodding as he chewed and the food felt heavy against his tongue as he attempted to swallow.
"Jim, I don't think he's mad at you or anything for what happened with Nero, you did what you had to."
Jim started shaking his head, "It's not that." he said around the lump in his throat. McCoy nodded and pointed toward Jim's plate.
"Finish your food, darlin'. I don't want you getting worked and losing your appetite, we'll finish eating then we'll talk." Bones still didn't quite get what it was about the Vulcan that had Jim so worked up but he was starting to get a few notions about it.
They finished eating in a silence that wasn't uncomfortable, but was labored as Jim attempted to work through his plate. He did end up finishing most of it before pushing his plate away. McCoy thought that was good for the evening and turned his full attention toward his best friend again.
"What is it?" he asked quietly.
"Spock won't talk to me." Jim pushed out letting out a long sigh before he started to elaborate.
"I mean about anything other than work. That incident, with the pool, I've tried to ask him about it. I mean, I told you what happened...after. And we've just- he won't talk to me about it. For over a year now I have tried to catch him alone or make time to talk to him but he just cuts me off or just-" With each word kirk began to speak faster and his breath was short and he started coughing, starting to feel sick and dizzy.
"Hey, easy Jim. Breathe." Bones held him upright and rubbed his back as Jim started to work through his panic attack. The flight or fight mechanism was making the Captain on edge and he wasn't going to hit Bones, he just wanted to hide, wishing he hadn't said anything.
"I don't know what to do," His face crumpled and he felt the spring of hot tears coming to his eyes threatening to fall, his blue eyes searching the hazel pair. Bones had seen him through boozings, bashings, and break-ups, but this was different. He knew in his gut it was different.
"Jim, I think it's time for bed. You need to sleep so that way you can think this through. I believe everything you're saying, but if you sleep maybe you can formulate something so you can have a moment and work through whatever this is that you're feeling." He ran a hand through Jim's hair and lead him to his bed, the Captain too tired to protest, and if he did Bones had a hypo at the ready.
"You can also come by my office and we can talk more tomorrow, but I want you well rested. Alright?" He added as Jim began to lay down, but he didn't let go of the doctor.
"Stay?" He asked, his voice cracking.
"Jim..." The Bones said with amusement and sadness. He couldn't stand to see his best friend so upset.
"I can't handle this right now." Jim added, all defenses down around his best friend. Only Bones saw the Captain and what was underneath the carefully crafted facade he sometimes had to wear as part of his job.
McCoy gave a nod and hopped shucked off his boots, along with Jim's as he scooted the younger male over to hop into bed with him. He damn well wasn't sleeping in a chair.
"Just for tonight," Bones relented, but he knew he'd do this every night if he had to, and if it helped Jim sleep. Anything to keep him healthy,
Jim rested his head on the doctor's shoulder and sighed. Bones could feel his tunic was slightly damp from Jim's silent tears and he wrapped an arm around him, rubbing his back and lulling him into a more relaxed state. "Sleep, Jimmy," he said barely above a whisper as Jim let out another sigh in agreement and snuggled closer, glad that Bones was able to anchor him to this world.
Spock entered his quarters and was not completely surprised to find Uhura in his quarters, dinner already set on the low table as she sat on a pillow waiting for him, a smile gracing her lips.
"Hello Spock," She offered, dark eyes infused with her emotions showing that she was truly pleased to see him.
He crossed the room in one swift motion and offered two fingers in a Vulcan kiss, a soft thrum connecting them before he pulled away to sit across from her.
"Hello, Nyota." He answered back, his eyes creasing slightly at the corners and a small upturn of his lips. His actions were slightly restrained. The day on the bridge had been quite long, he worked over his scheduled shift much like the Captain.
Kirk, he was acting most peculiar today-
He was pulled out of his thoughts as a hand was placed over his. Nyota seemed, nervous? The little glimpse he got pulled him out of his thoughts.
"My apologies." He offered quietly, her ears picked up his soft voice and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
"It's alright, I know everyone is prepping for tomorrow. Should be interesting to go planet-side I overheard some science officers talking about new life forms." She offered, with a slight blush knowing full well that she couldn't help but overhear other conversations, it was after all, art of her job.
"Yes, and the plant life is in abundance, it will be most beneficial to take samples." Spock offered as he took another spoonful of Plomeek soup.
The conversation was kept light as they ate dinner, the communications officer picked up their trays and placed them in the wall just as quickly they disappeared she had made her way back across the room standing in front of Spock with her arms behind her back, chewing on her lower lip.
He raised a quizzical brow as she wrapped her arms around his neck and reached up on her tiptoes to plant soft kisses along his jawline and up to his petal-soft lips.
The Vulcan emitted a soft breath of air as he kissed back, wrapping his arms around the tops of her thighs and lithely lifted her, her legs automatically wrapping around her waist. She laughed and gave him chaste kisses as she ran her hands through his perfect hair, becoming more amused by the second as she mussed it up.
He kissed her cheeks and down her neck, invoking soft sighs from the communications officer. She didn't need to say anything to convey how she felt. Sometimes silence was one of the loudest things they heard.
She slipped off her clothes, and as hard as bras were to work for a terran, Spock lifted hers away with ease.
Uhura helped spock strip away his uniform, and those tight, regulated boxer briefs. She eyed his hard green cock, giving a few good strokes, as his hips bucked into her hand, his eyes full of fire as they locked with hers.
He reached between them his fingers softly exploring her, as he slipped one inside. She moaned when he added the second, scissoring her already wet flower, pulsing with need while his lips were busy kissing her breasts, latching onto a nipple and lightly nipping at her mocha skin as she breathed into and kissed his ear, begging for more.
It wasn't long until she guided him to her entrance and he pushed in, their rhythm starting soft, and sweet, before she knew it, his hips bucked recklessly into her as Uhura met him, thrust for thrust, as she cried out and her body convulsed, he came with a growl shortly after, unable to prevent himself from slumping after lovemaking.
She ran a hand through his slightly damp hair and kissed his cheek. She hummed happily and closed her eyes. Spock didn't wait long to pull out and rolled off of Uhura to lay beside her.
She looked over at him and cupped his jaw, he leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead, before leaving to retrieve a damp towel to wipe themselves down and slipping back into bed.
Nyota laid her head on his chest and draped an arm over Spock, as he did the same rubbing her back.
"Goodnight, Spock." She yawned, kissing his pectoral.
"Sleep well, Nyota." He responded softly, bending to kiss the top of her head.
For once Spock did feel the need to sleep his dark eyes closed quickly, but only to be screwed shut by his thoughts and dreams.
James, looked so upset on the bridge today. Spock had the urge to follow him in the turbolift but he knew he couldn't. If he was ever alone with Jim he knew they would have to eventually talk about what happened in his office all those years ago.
It was a fluke, he was half human.
Besides, Jim was the Captain. He couldn't possibly forge a bond with him. Then again, it may be necessary. Humans required trust. How could Jim trust Spock, if all the Vulcan ever talked about were matters having to deal with the ship?
Those vibrant blue eyes filled his senses as his body sung for the hard, musculature of the other males body.
No.
He had Uhura, and she was the one that will always be there for him.
Jim was an unreliable creature.
That still didn't prevent Spock's mind from thinking about him anytime he had a free moment. He just wanted those lips against his own again, he awoke as soon as those lips nearly closed over his own in his dream-like state, and he looked down at the beautiful woman in his arms. A woman he cared for deeply, but the connection wasn't as strong, and they both knew that, but it was comfortable, and it worked in both their favors.
His mind poked and prodded, bringing up the image of Jim's face as he entered the turbo-lift and left the bridge, his eyes convey more than Spock could ever imagine himself doing, and if he ever felt fear. Though he would not admit it, that what Jim was for him.
Fear of the unknown, fear of trying and possibly failing, fear of losing someone that meant so much more, the liability was too great to ever admit what they have.
That's why Jim was not an option, and never will be.
A/N Thank you for reading, feedback and reviews are always welcome.
