Guilt Trip to Humility
By: Twilight Goddess Sage
Pre-fanfic stuff:
Sage (waves around the papers that are a part of her rough drafts of the story): "Okay, okay! I finally typed this plot bunny up! Woo-hoo! (Cheers as she does a weird happy dance, but stops after she sees the looks her friends give her. She then sits back down and clears her throat) There are a few things though that the readers should know before reading this! Please bear with us!"
Chibisage (steps up holding a few note cards): "The first one is obvious; in fact I can't believe we even have to say this! (Groans as Sage nods) Sage does not own Xiaolin Showdown. There I said it!"
Wasabi (nods): "No duh! (Winks with an evil glint in her eyes) If anybody tries to sue her, I will screw up their computers real good! Mwah-hah-hah-haaah!"
(Everyone else sweatdrops)
Ryu-kun: "Y'know Wasabi, someone could take that term "screwed" the wrong way… You may be a hacker but making out with compu—"
Wasabi (covers her mouth): "ONLY YOU WOULD THINK TO TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY!!!! Sorry kiddies, don't pay attention to her…"
(Everyone else sweatdrops again)
Sage (coughs): "Besides that, I wish to tell you all that I do like Omi, he's so young, naïve and cute. It's just that every time I see him bragging, I gag and stuff… (breaks into tears) I'M SORRY OMI FANS!!! PLEASE UNDERSTAND AND NO HARD FEELINGS!!! WAAAAH!!!!
Ruzaka (hands her a hankercheif which she proceeds to blow her nose with): "Yes, yes. It goes without saying, if you don't like slight Omi bashing, don't read the fic! Common sense, neh?"
Chibisage: "Geez, we've sure said a lot, let's get on with the fanfic already!"
Prologue: The Old Lady and the Beautiful Bracer
Flashback
Sometime back in the past, a great Xiaolin monk, a master of tai chi, and the man who saved the world quite recently, was up on a mountain in an old hut being chided by an old hag over tea.
"Dashi, why haven't you kept in touch with me all this time?!"
The thin bald monk sighed, "I told you, Auntie Ling, I've been busy—"
"Busy saving the world, dealing with dragons," she paused to eye Dojo who shifted uneasily under her glare, "Training by fighting other busy men, and spending time with a certain red-haired woman—"
Dashi rolled his eyes, "Who endangered the world and if I hadn't of sealed her away would ruin life as we know it—"
"Oh there you go again, just because one girl isn't good for you doesn't mean she's bad for the world—"
"Have you been listening to what I've been saying?!"
"As much as I can hear when you preach and rant on and on without explaining who this Wu-hoo is, and this Gwano, and the man who drank soup after talking to a bean to become immortal. Speaking of which, who in their right mind would listen to a talking vegetable?"
Dashi put his hand to his head resisting the urge to slam it into the table in frustration. 'This is why I haven't spoken to her for so long...' he thought miserably.
"So after all this time you haven't talked to me, don't you expect me to absorb all this at once!" she screeched alerting him back to reality. She put her hands on her hips, "You may be a great fighter and philosopher, but you aren't good with talking to an old lady like me." She sipped her tea and glanced back at him with a less intense expression on her old heavily wrinkled face. "Once you get to be my age, the time will come mind you; you can only recall things in pieces, which is why I'd appreciate it if you could update me from time to time, in between training and what. When you get to be my age, you'll know what I mean…" she said, looking at him more thoughtfully.
"She has a point, Dashi, I'm real old and when you talk sometimes, my ears feel like they are gonna fall off," Dojo remarked. He shuddered though when both of them glared at him, "Hey, I'm just saying…"
"So Dashi, I appreciate you coming to visit after so long, but I have a hunch that you didn't come just to tell me how you've been," she paused to wink at him, "I noticed you brought something with you…"
"You're pretty sharp for a nearly blind lady!" Dojo remarked grinning, "By the way, can I call you Granny?!"
She answered him with a firm look that said without speaking, 'If you know what's good for you, shut up!' This made Dojo flinch, lower his eyes and pretend to be more interested in his tea leaves.
After she glanced back at her great-nephew, she noticed that he had brought up a pouch to the table. He slowly loosened the cord and pulled out another yet smaller pouch and another out of that. Auntie Ling rolled her eyes at him before he slowly and carefully lifted a box out of the final pouch. He laid the satin box in the middle of the table with the opening towards his aunt and pushed it towards her.
"It's about time, why couldn't you just cushion it with cloth or something?" his great-aunt retorted sounding annoyed.
"Everything I do, I do with good reason," Dashi stated calmly as he folded his arms across his chest, "Well, aren't you going to open it?"
She looked at him for a moment as if puzzled at the prospect of her opening it. Although she didn't see or get to spend much time with her nephew, she knew he wasn't the kind to give gifts. She tried to decipher his calm yet firm face for answers, but all she got was a nod. She sighed and raised the top of the chest-like box away from her revealing an onyx bracer embedded with a golden dragon twisted around it. There were green and white jade beaded flowers blooming off its tail and a crystal coming out of its mouth.
"Wow!" came an amazed cry from Dojo, "She was able to open the box so easily!"
"Of course she was," Dashi spoke calmly, "Auntie, you know what this is right?"
The look Auntie Ling gave them was no longer so hard and stern; it was more thoughtful and full of wonder. "This is…" she began, her old nearly closed eyes widened, "This is…the ancient handicraft, the god' gift to women, the fabled Bracer of Beauty!" She chuckled in delight and excitement as she arose, grabbing her crooked staff and quickly hobbling to a back wall in what appeared to be her humble kitchen. Pulling a lever, she revealed a hidden scroll library. She felt around and pulled out an old weathered scroll opening it quickly before hobbling back to the table. "Here it is in my scrolls! According to this scroll, the Bracer of Beauty was created to give an extra boost of power to special female warriors and spell casters of strong will so that they could uphold a place to better serve their community in times of great turmoil or whenever their powers were needed. During the building of the Great Wall for example when all the young men were laboring over its construction, the women had to protect the elderly and the young ones. When equipped to such women, their strength is tripled as well as their skill, speed, stamina, sense of strategy, evasion, and wisdom."
"So only a woman can open the box and use the bracer?" Dojo asked.
"That's correct," Auntie Ling replied smiling as she looked over at the two of them, "Tell me Dashi, how were you able to put this in this nice box? I recall that there weren't any priestesses at your temple?"
Dashi sighed and waved his hand, "That is of little importance, Great Auntie. Do you think you can keep it safe?"
Auntie Ling raised an eyebrow, "You want me to hold onto this precious treasure?"
"That's right, Auntie," Dashi nodded, "I know that you know enough about the power of this Shen-gon-wu to not attempt to do anything reckless with it. You also have little use for it in your old age, which means it will lie inactive and be harder to track down by those who would otherwise want to misuse its magnificent power."
This time Auntie Ling sighed, "Ah yes that is quite true. In my earlier days, when I was a much stronger younger girl, I wouldn't hesitate before equipping it." A fond nostalgic look appeared on her face as she smiled thinking of times long ago before continuing, "Alas I am no longer such a youthful energized and powerful one as I once was, old age will do that to you. No matter the power added to you, if you don't have a body that can uphold the added capabilities than the amplifications do more harm that good you shall fall apart later. The power added cannot make an old hag like me young again."
Dashi nodded sagely, "Yes, so will you take it?"
"…I don't know…" she answered.
"Why not?!" Dojo piped up.
Auntie Ling sighed, picking up her tea cup and gazing outside at the mountain scenery. "As I said before, I'm getting quite old, and soon my long humble life will end and I will have to leave this world." She closed her eyes and sighed again, "After that, the bracer will have to move onto another who is bound to last around hopefully a lot longer than myself." She opened them up and looked at her great nephew, "Although I appreciate your trust in me, I am mortal and I will die soon, unfortunately."
Dashi brought his hand to his chin and thought for a moment before an idea struck him, "Auntie, what about giving it to someone who is bound to stick around more than you and closer to eternity?!" He gave her a wink and she and Dojo took on confused faces. "Is the path to that palace of jade among the mountains of the west still passable?"
Auntie Ling's eyes grew as wide as they could without falling out of her head, "The palace of the great goddess, the great Queen Mother of the West!?!" she cried sounding astonished, "What a brilliant idea!"
Dashi nodded, "She'll make sure to hold onto it until a strong enough girl comes forth and will use it during times of need."
Auntie Ling nodded back before saying, "I will set out for the palace in the west as soon as possible. I only ask that you accompany me."
Dashi thought for a minute, "Dojo could fly you if you'd like?" he offered.
Dojo looked up at this, "Huh? Where to?"
"Auntie Ling can't journey as well as she used to; she has to trek quite a distance towards the west to the goddess's jade palace," Dashi explained, "Are you up for it?"
Dojo saluted, "Yeah, sure! I've always wanted to go west! All aboard!"
Dashi took his great aunt's hand and handed her traveling cloak after she made a trip to her kitchen and came back with a satchel filled with scrolls and some food.
"I made each of us several lunches of dumplings and egg rolls. They may not be the best, but they should give us enough to go on," Auntie Ling explained as she put on her cloak.
Dojo rubbed his front dragon legs together eagerly, "Yeah, dumplings! I can't wait! Let's go!"
They went outside the hut where Dojo transformed into his bigger size. Dashi helped his aunt get up on the dragon before he slowly lifted up into the sky.
"Hold on tight!" Dojo called to them, "To the west!"
And they flew off to the sacred palace of the Queen Mother of the West, the Chinese Goddess Xi Wang Mu.
Sage (looks up from her computer): "How was that? Was that a good start for you readers? Our four Xiaolin dragons will appear in the next chapter; this was mainly an introduction to introduce you to the Shen-gon-wu."
Chibisage (arrives next to Sage on a wheelie chair along with Wasabi, Ryu-kun, and Miyu.): "Oh and just so all of you know, Sage here made up the Shen-Gon-Wu mentioned."
Miyu (nods): "That and Auntie Ling, nobody knows much about Dashi's family…but we needed a female character from long ago besides Wuya!"
Ryu-kun: "Yeah, we could let ol' Woo-hoo get the bracer now could we?"
Wuya (pops up on the screen): "Yes you could! I would have liked that!"
Chibisage (gasps): "Omigod! It's a computer virus! WASABI!!!"
Wuya: "Whaaat?! No…it's me…"
Wasabi (moves over to the screen and opens a black hole that pulls Wuya's head offscreen): "There there…the ugly thing is gone!"
Miyu: "Thank goodness…"
Sage: "The goddess in the west and her jade palace are really from Chinese mythology though. You can look them up if you feel up to it."
Ryu-kun (waves her hand): "Enough of this! Okay you readers out there, read and review or you will never get to see the little feminist get his just deserves!"
Chibisage: "No! That's not right, Ryu-kun! (peers at her script) You're supposed to say 'Read and Review or you'll make Sage-chan sad!' Think of the authoress!"
Wasabi (shrugs): "No matter, they better just do it!"
Miyu: "You hear that! Click the button below and review! DO IT!!!"
