Hello! I'm sorry to say that I've hit a mayor writer's block when it comes to my other story "Blueberry" that I haven't even been able to write the next chapter at all. I can't even begin it, how sad is that? Anyway, this story has been in my laptop for almost a year and I've decided to go ahead and upload it and see what you guys think about it.

This story takes place in Soul Society but since I have taken liberty with the dates and overall background stories of some of the characters I've marked it as an AU. Anyway, please feel very free and slightly pressured by the author to go ahead and review it. Constructive criticism is welcomed any time.

WARNING: This story will become a yaoi eventually, that means Malexmale, dudexdude, semexuke, you get the drill.

This chapter is presented as someone retelling a memory. It will eventually become a more overall 3rd person POV.


Here you are, looking at that man with disgust. If it was any other shinigami sitting beside you they would agree with you that the great captain was a monster and deserved to be put back on his prison cell from which he should have never been released from.

But I am not them, and therefore cannot say the same. I know who he is, or rather who he used to be. Shall I tell you his story? The story of the happy boy who became a warrior, then a prisoner and would rise to become one of the most feared captain.

Are you sure you are ready for such a story? There might just not be a happy ending to this tale, for the man you see there standing with his blood-curling grin and crazed eyes has been riddled with nothing but cursed luck.

It all began I suppose with his birth. For you see, he wasn't even supposed to be born or at least not by the father he had been born from.

His mother was a courtesan, from the most prestigious brothel of the Red Light District of the Kusanagi District. She was called Yuriko but everyone in the Red Light District called her the Midnight Lotus for her gentle elegance and gracious looks.

A night with her was too costly for the common folk so only the nobility and those of rich pockets could delight themselves with her company. When she became with child she knew the dangers that would entail but chose to keep the child anyway and deal with the consequences later.

The matron of the brothel favored her deeply and when Yuriko had made her decision, while fearful for the life of her best girl she helped her nonetheless. She continued working until she began to show to which she then faked an illness to keep herself away from the prying eyes of her customers, especially from those of whom she knew was the father of her child.

She was a lucky woman and as such her child was born with no problems - no ailments or deformations. He was a beautiful, healthy baby boy whom she named Mayuri using katakana to keep his name original and with no meaning. When asked why she simply responded that she knew her child would become great and when that happened his name would get a meaning. Whichever meaning he wanted it to be.

All the women of the brothel loved the child and spoiled him to no end. He was the "Blue Lotus" for that bright midnight blue hair he carried always messy as he ran through the streets of Kusanagi in one adventure or another.

It had been clear from a very young age that Mayuri was a lot sharper than any normal child his age and as such fellow children and classmates from the small school he attended kept a distance from him. Not that it bothered him since he was always lost in thought or too busy catching frogs to dissect for him to care about such trivial things.

He was six years old when I met him for the first time. There had been a string of murders from different brothels in two months and the women were beginning to worry as peace was disrupted in the old district.

All the victims had been the most popular worker from their brothel, which had caused Yuriko to worry for her safety and that of her child.

None of the shinigami women wanted to lower themselves to work undercover in the Red Light District so in the end I chose to go and deal with things myself. After all my division was expanding the hospitals that where built all throughout the Rukongai Districts and that would give me a good opportunity to place a hospital in the district and oversee its construction personally.

I posed as an apprentice and servant girl to the brothel. I took no customers, the matron being kind enough to keep me away from the customers at all times unless absolutely necessary especially when I kept watch for suspects.

Yuriko and I stroke a friendship right away both being similar in many ways - she was quite smart, just not as much as her child whom she fawned over incessantly.

When she introduced him to me I immediately realized why the women of the brothels loved him. His eyes were full of wild energy and endless curiosity, he was not afraid to say out loud what he thought of you and just like his mother, he was quite the flirt; even at his age.

His golden eyes should have been a dead giveaway to me of his parentage, but alas I was too taken or blind to make the connection until it was too late.

Yuriko had told me how smart the boy was but it was not until we were face to face and I was the center of his intense gaze that I beheld just how smart the boy was.

"Mayuri, this is Hana, she's our new sister." Yuriko had introduced us, smiling adoringly down at her son.

"It's not," he said simply looking at me with furrowed brows.

"It's not what?" I asked kindly curiosity getting the better of me.

"Your name," Mayuri said looking back at his mother as if expecting her to tell him off. When she didn't he continued, "Your name is not Hana. I understand why you would want to keep your real name hidden here but you aren't very good at hiding the fact that you are a shinigami."

How he had known I was a shinigami was simply because he had felt my reiatsu as concealed as I was keeping it and compared it to those of shinigami customers and the retired shinigami turned guards. That was when I noticed the reiatsu he himself extruded also concealed having taught himself or by one of the guards how to do it properly.

"He has reiatsu?" I asked Yuriko noting her lack of it, another indicator.

"Yes, it happened just recently he has been getting better and better at controlling it." She told me this with pride. "One of our shinigami guards used to be in the fifth division and he has been teaching Mayuri a few things about it."

"I see," I turned to the boy who was still looking at me as if expecting something from me. "Does this mean you're going to be a shinigami when you grow into adulthood Mayuri-chan?"

"Of course not!" he said looking disgusted. "I don't ever want to set foot in Sereitei, I'm going to stay here and take care of my mother. I'm going to be a great inventor and make all kinds of things to sell here."

"That sounds nice..."

His curiosity on my person didn't cease for quite a few weeks. He kept questioning me and studying my every move when in his presence. I find myself guilty of having loved this child, guilty of the slight tinges of jealousy that would sprout in my heart once or twice as I saw his adoration towards his mother, his loyalty and utter love he expressed to her.

Having never had a child of my own I had often wondered about motherhood and as I kept witnessing their relationship I began to yearn for a similar connection. Instead I found myself opening up to this child even going as far as telling him my real name and position among Sereitei which he was unimpressed of.

His hatred for shinigami struck me as weird. He got along fine with the guards of the brothels even taking lessons from some of them, which he suspended in order to take lessons from me.

He didn't dislike me, though refused to call me by my fake name and being intelligent enough to know better than to call me by my real name he took to calling me "On'na" or when he was sleepy enough "aunty".

It was not until Yuriko asked me to take Mayuri out with me when I went to supervise the construction of the hospital that I knew where the antagonistic feeling towards shinigami came from.

I felt the reiatsu approach, concealed just like my own. I felt Mayuri stiffen besides me, his grip tightening in my hand.

This reiatsu was similar to Mayuri's in a way that could only mean one thing: this man was Mayuri's father. I kept walking; Yuriko had not wanted Mayuri anywhere near the brothel as it was obvious by her rush to get us out.

I was so lost in thought I did not noticed when we had arrived at our destination only noticing once Mayuri had stopped walking, the small vibration in his hand the only giveaway that he was growling in anger.

I had found the source of the hatred.

When we had returned that evening Mayuri had immediately excused himself and left us be, leaving his diner unfinished and cooling omniously between ours. She sighed and looked sadly after him until she heard the sliding door of his room close with a resounding snap. He had been unusually quiet during out trip out which had been quite understandable considering whom he had left his mother alone with.

That night, I question Yuriko of Mayuri's father but she had waved the questions away pretending to smile. I wasn't sure whether she was doing it to ease my fears or hers.

The next morning things returned to their usual routine. Mayuri would leave for school, even though he had far surpassed his fellow classmates it still was a form to keep him distracted and to encourage him to interact with those of his age group.

In the evenings he usually spent out after his meals, catching animals or fishing by a nearby river. He didn't like to be there when his mother began to work, he had a tendency to subtly and not so subtly insult and demean every customer that came in through the doors.

I had often wondered why he was not as angry at those men as he was towards his father or even worse since they spent time with his mother. When I questioned him about it one evening when we were catching butterflies by the brook he turned to me with his eyes opened wide and his head tilted to the side. He said in the most obvious tone he could muster; "Why would it bother me? It's not like she loves them. She loves only me and cares only for my company... a little bit of your company too I suppose on'na."

I am proud to say that he held a sort of attachment to me, he was not a very social boy and usually kept himself far from the human touch of others but those of his mother. Yet sometimes he would loose his cold detachment and would cling to my hand when walking together ―for he had taken to following me around when I left the brothel to run errands and three weeks into my undercover operation he had hugged me for the first time. Short and abrupt as his good night hug had been, it had been the most endearing hug I have ever gotten.

Since that day he made it a sort of routine to hug me good night and to hold my hand as we walked in the streets, even though he was old and independent enough to be able to walk the streets he knew so well.

While posing as the servant girl to the brothel I had managed to discover that all the women murdered had been killed in quite a clean efficient way, indicating that an expert was behind it. No signs of forced entry to the rooms of all the victims and no noise came from them alerting no one until the morning when their bodies had been found.

Either a rogue or retired shinigami or black op were my main suspects but the Red Light District was filled with them which only made my job that much harder. After all, some of the retired shinigami even some from my division (whom I had to hide from) were working as guards and had access to all the rooms of the brothels.

I could not see this as a vengeance kill by one of the shinigami or black op since the women seemed to be specifically chosen. I was having a lot of problems finding out more facts that I could trust fully since I could not personally go to the brothels and inspect the place by myself without compromising my true identity to the possible culprit.

All I had to work with were the gossip from the servants and courtesans of the brothels that loved to spread the ghastly gossip of the murders, but I could not rely on their words too much. After all, gossip changes from one ear to the other.

All they had in common was that they were the most popular women in their brothel and had only served to those of higher social status. That pointed out to all well-off shinigami and noble families of the first Rukongai district and of Sereitei, people that I would possibly find a hard time if not impossible to bring them to justice.

I was at a loss, and the more time passed by the uneasier I became with the safety of my dear friend and her precious child.