Authors Note: Hello guys! And again, by guys I mean anyone who happens to stray upon this bit of writing. So, I was watching a Harry Potter movie a day or two ago, and this thought just struck me! It struck me quicker than it took Shane to realize he was crazy for Reed! (Damn! That must've been fast!)

*Nods happily*
IT SURE WAS RANDOM DUDE! My point being... I have no point! BUT! I was was just sitting there eating a bowl of cereal and thinking...

"What the hell happened when those Windsors (*cough* tweedles)
, let that goat loose in Stuart house?"

And so, this one-shot was born! Now, since I am not even CLOSE to the fabulousness that IS Mama Coulter, please do not expect this to be even a TINY bit good! I, nor will I ever be, a decent writer. I may like to write, but that doesn't mean I'm good at it. Like singing for most people! They love it, but they just sound HORRIBLE!

Then again, it has come to my attention that EVERYONE CAN
sing! If you think about it, they CAN sing, cause they do, but they just aren't very good at it! So, if someone says a person can't sing... they are wrong!

Getting carried away... Sorry if this sucks major pickles... But, I hope you read on! And hopefully enjoy?

Disclaimer: Though I truly wish that Dalton was written by me, it wasn't. Therefore, just about everything in this one-shot thing belongs to the great and wonderful Monique Dimanlig/CP Coulter! And, also to Glee... I own nothing! NOT EVEN THIS AUTHORS NOTE! But since I wrote this, don't steal it! Okay, now go Reeeed! (Geddit? Reed? Read? xD)


Charlie narrowed his eyes. "I'm only going to ask this once."

The Twins looked bored.

David glanced off out to the windows, as though wondering if anything interesting was there.

Wes picked at his nails.

Dwight rolled his eyes.

Reed tilted his head and blinked innocently.

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

Blaine simply cleared his throat.

"Which one of you let that animal loose on Stuart House?"

And there followed the most amused bout of silence in the world.


The sun rose steadily in the sky, a distant bird chirped soundlessly, as though still drowsy. The Stuart residents were already up, almost all carrying a coffee cup while doing homework or studying. A soft clicking of the clock seemed to be the only thing making noise, other than the every now and then sound of someone flipping a page of a book, or the small scratches of pencil markings. All was quiet. All was peaceful. Everything was starting off as usual. Then, a sound of clacking upon the tiled floor filled the surrounding air.

(Stuart House: 1 day to Hell Night.)

A voice screamed from within the hallway, you would have thought someone was being murdered. In his mind, murder would have been better than what had just happened. A medium height, scrawny teen; his dark-brown hair, which now looked like something had taken a big bite out of the back, ran into the room so quickly he had to take a few seconds to stop himself from crashing into a nearby plotted plant.

"RUN! RUN! Get out while you can!" The teen waved him arms around in the air, his eyes widened to a frightening level, anyone who didn't know him would have thought he was a mad-man.

"Luke, what are you talking about? Can't you see I'm tryingto study? I can't fail that test!" said another, placing his coffee cup on the counter next to him and folding his arms across his chest.

'Luke' shot forward, grabbing on to the taller one's shoulders and shaking wildly. "Man, Chase! You have to get out of here! It's loose! Look at my hair! LOOK AT MY HOMEWORK!"

He opened his uniform and pulled out a folded piece of paper, shaking it in front of Chase's face. He wasted no time opening it up, then turned around to show the others in the room.

Gasps from every corner sounded at once. There, in his fists, was a half chewed, well written history report. A few of the teens choked on their coffees at the sight, others gave out a cry as if in agony; as if his chewed up paper was theirs'.

"What
happened?"

"Luke, man! How?"

"AHH! SAVE MY HOMEWORK!" There followed a loud crash that came to the floor as this teen dashed (and tripped) up the stairs holding his work like a lifeline.

"I think I'm going to barf, I helped you with that report!"

"Oh. My. Lord."

Luke, too out of breath to answer any questions, pointed his shaking finger in the direction of the hall. "Its out there... and it looks hungry."

The residents eyes all looked fearful as they leaned towards the right to get a better look. Out of no where, a white animal sped down the hall into the room, its horns plastered with two separate foam cups, now emptied of the energizing drink.

Luke let out a soft groan. "Guys... I think he found our coffee stash.."

This rang true, the goat took one look at the Stuarts' faces and charged. More screaming sounded worse then ever.

"NO CHERYL! HONEY BUNCH! SUGAR PLUM! PUMPY-UMPY-UNKIN!"cried a boy, referring to his Algebra homework he named, which the goat spotted and instantly attacked. "THAT WAS 'A' PLUS-PLUS MATERIAL YOU HORRID BEAST!"

The Stuarts, all at once, went for their papers, jumping and dodging the rib cracking blows from the hyped-up, paper eating goat, some, not as lucky as others.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!" shouted a raged voice from the top of the staircase.

Everyone froze (the goat too halted), the boy paused in his attempt to pull 'Cheryl' out of the goats clamped jaw, as the prefect glared his green eyes at the scene below, holding his coffee and Advanced Calculus notes.

Logan took a single glance at the goat. "Windsors."

The scene, as though someone decided to slam a play button on the remote, started up again instantly. The goat, playing tug-a-war with the poor, unknowing boy, released his mouths grip on the paper, causing the boy to fly backwards onto another teen's hand, who was trying to grab his favorite book.

The teen wailed as he shot up from the ground, holding his hand... the boy looked at him in horror, spluttering apologies every five seconds.

Logan could see this had gotten extraordinarily out of hand. He dashed down the stairs, jumping over some poor soul who was crying in the middle of the stairway ("Get up, James! You'll get trampled that way!"), hugging his now torn to pieces 'Perks of being a Wallflower' novel.

He put his coffee, along with his notes, on a table at the end of the stairs and walked slowly towards the goat, who was now feasting on a science book. The runs and screams of his fellow Stuarts subsided. Right then, in that moment, it was only him and that crazy goat.

The goat seemed to realize he was being watched, for he stopped eating the book, and looked stiff.

"That's right. Calm down Mr. Goat. Just calm down. You don't need to do this. We have the easy way, the hard way, or the Wright way. Your choice... choose wisely." Logan whispered.

The goat, if possible, growled, turning around and shooting what looked like a snarl of hatred. It crouched down on the floor in what looked like a sitting position, and for a moment, Logan thought he actually got through to the hairy creature. Before he could congratulate himself though, the goat seemed to have spotted something well worth eating, as he charged forward, knocking Logan to the ground holding his stomach.

"Logan!"

"Are you okay?"

"SOMEONE GET THE NURSE! HOSPITAL! HES DEAD! SCREWED! DEMOLISHED! RUINED! LIFE AS HE KNOWS IT IS-"

"Kevin..." Logan angrily groaned, sitting up. "Shut. Up." He opened his eyes slightly, and he felt his jaw drop, his left eye twitching.

The goat had seen something he sought worth eating, and appeared to be showing Logan's calculus notes no mercy. All his time spent into them... gone. The lent plastered papers were flying left and right, some seemed to be swallowed whole, for they never reached the surface.

Finally, with one more chew at the notebook, the goat fell to the side. The coffee finally worn him out completely, and he launched into a fit of snores.

"Logan..." said Chase slowly. "If you want, you can copy my-"

The prefect held his hand up to silence him, and stood up from the ground, dusting himself off. "Get this mess cleaned up, and James, get UP from that staircase before you kill yourself. If you'd excuse me," he grabbed his coffee from the table and took a sip, before turning on his heel and walking back up the stairs without a second glance back to the catastrophe at the end of the steps.

Julian, dark circles under his eyes, gave a grim smile back up to his friend as he leaned back into his room. "How much you wanna bet the twins had something to do with this, Derek?"

Derek just shrugged and watched as the prefect; whose left eye was still slightly twitching and coffee cup beginning to crack with the pressure at which he was holding, slam his door shut the next room over.

Down stairs the other residents were picking up the remains of papers, books, and coffee cups. James was still on the staircase, now rocking back and forth while cuddling his book ("Its alright, It's alright, shhh baby, Don't cry, you're just a little torn. Hee..heehee...haaah"). Chase gave him a unknowing look, well preparing to take the thunder-struck teen to the nurse. Luke sighed, a mixture of sadness and relief, and fell over the side of the couch, arms folded under his head.

He looked around to the surrounding Stuarts, some with tears in their eyes, some with glares, some still wondering what the hell just happened, and simply said, "I told you he looked hungry."


Ending Note: THE END! Yeah... told you it was bad! I tried, but, you know, I'm not good at this stuff! Anyways! Haha, hope you kind of liked it? No? You didn't? I'm sorry for your wasted time! D= Terribly, TERRIBLY sorry! I Know this was short... again sorry... Alright, there was a issue with spellcheck, I tried to use my email, but i clicked it and nothing popped up, so sorry for all the misspellings D=

Bye... O_O

R&R

Only if you want to of course...

If you have yet to read Dalton by CP Coulter, (which is weird? why would you be reading this otherwise?) I strongly urge you to do so RIGHT NOW! Seriously, stop reading this and go! RIGHT NOW! GOOOO! Haha

- C. Stormy S. (TD)