The Words Inside My Head
A/N: This was originally going to be for the song "Anywhere But Here," and it was going to be a completely different story, but then I was reading lyrics for Avril Lavigne songs, and I thought this was perfect, so I wrote a whole new story instead. It took me a while to get the ending right. I still don't like the ending and I doubt I ever will. It's a horrible way to finish off a story like this. Anyways, besides the ending, enjoy my second songfic :)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the song "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne (even though I'm not much of a fan...)
I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head
Lizzie walked down the hallway of Hillridge High. She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, and smoothed out her baggy jeans. She looked up and saw him. She smiled nervously, and looked at the ground as she walked. Suddenly, she felt herself bump into something hard. She had run right into the wall and fell to the floor.
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah....
Lizzie looked up and saw him reaching out his hand. She flushed a bright shade of red as she grabbed it, and he pulled her up. She stared at him for a minute, then continued on her way.
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
She ran into the girls' washroom and pulled out her makeup bag. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was curled and highlighted. She was wearing a tight t-shirt that read "R3bel" on it. Then she realized that she had his jacket on. He had lent it to her that morning when she claimed she was cold. That's one thing that she liked about him; how he would rather suffer than see her suffer. Lizzie reached into her makeup bag and pulled out her lipgloss, then applied it.
It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care?
Lizzie hurried out of the restroom and ran down the hall. She was going to miss all the good food if she didn't get down to the cafeteria on time. She looked at her watch and decided to not bother, because she was already ten minutes late. The fat cafeteria ladies were probably serving their "Spaghetti Surprise" now. She sat down on the stairs and leaned her head against the wall, thinking about him. She tugged at her belt and adjusted her wristbands.
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah.....
Lizzie looked around, and saw him again. Why? she thought, Why does it have to be him? It's not right...
She bit her lip and stared at the floor.
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say...
"Hey."
"H-hi...w-why aren't you...in the the...place?" Lizzie stuttered.
He stared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"I-I n-nothing....just forget it..." Lizzie said as she jumped up and ran down the stairs. She needed to get away from him...
What's wrong with my tongue?
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say......
Lizzie ran up to her locker and fumbled with the combination. She opened it up, reached in, and pulled out her bag. She slung it over her shoulder and slammed the locker door. She heard his voice calling her. She couldn't face him anymore. She would just embarrass herself.
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah...
She ran outside and looked around. It was a sunny day that didn't fit her mood. She trudged through the empty schoolyard, still thinking of him. She turned the corner and smashed heads with someone, and once again found herself on the ground.
Yes I'm wishing my life away...
with these things I'll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
These things I'll never say
She looked across from her and found herself face-to-face with him.
"Liz, are you feeling sick or something today? I've been pretty worried.." he told her.
"I-I-I-I'm fine," Lizzie stammered.
"It kind of seems like you're trying to get away from me."
"Well, I'm not. I mean, I don't think I am..."
"Oh, I know. There's a guy," he said.
Lizzie stared at him. "Yes. You're right. There is a guy," she said.
"Oh," he said after a while.
"Want to know who it is?"
"Who?"
Lizzie bit her lip. She felt those butterflies in her stomach again...
Then, after taking a deep breath, she leaned over and kissed him, right on the lips.
She pulled away and looked straight in his eyes.
"It's you, Gordo," she told him confidently.
"Y-you mean it?" he asked after staring at her.
"Yes," Lizzie said softly.
"I-I like you, too, Lizzie...I always have..." Gordo said truthfully, as he began to lean in, and his lips met hers...
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah......
