A/N#1: Jinchuu as told from the point of view of Megumi
A/N#2: This was published last year under the title, "Megumi's Resolve". I had this revised and beta'd under a new title to suit the RuroKen Week Day#2 theme.
"Is this what family is like: the feeling that everyone's connected, that with one piece missing, the whole thing's broken?" – Trenton Lee Stewart
All were quiet as if an angel of some sort passed by. The waves gently rocked the boat. Everyone was quite tensed as they thought of docking at Enishi's island. Kenshin stared beyond the seas, probably contemplating on how he was going to face an enemy born out of his past mistakes as a hitokiri. He had awaken from his despair and finally decided to face his past and save the person who was most important to him.
Megumi made a quick check of her medicine box which she placed near the boat's helm along with some other containers. She brought it here. She thought that if Kenshin's sakabatou can save lives, her skills as a physician and her medicines can repair lives. It is the only way to help the man who showed her the way to redeem herself, the way to mend her broken self.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, savoring the salty smell of sea air, as she steadied herself in the gently rocking boat.
"Run fast, Kaoru. Go now!" Megumi shouted. They were running towards the back of the Kamiya dojo as fast as they could. But the young woman was stubborn, she started to turn back.
"I can't just leave Kenshin there." Kaoru said, huffing.
"Don't you understand? Enishi is after you. This is his revenge against Ken-san. Trust that Ken-san will gain this for us. I'm sure this is what he needs you to do." Megumi said sternly.
Suddenly a thick white smoke started to rise and seemingly engulfing everything within their sight.
"Run, Kaoru!"
Everything went cloudy so fast that all Megumi could see was white. White in the middle of that dark moonless turbulent night.
"Megumi, where are you?" She heard Kaoru called.
Panicking, Megumi kept waving her hands to feel her way through. She stumbled onto something on the ground and fell hard. She heard a maniacal laugh somewhere on her left.
A man's voice boomed out. Megumi trembled at the mere thought. It was Enishi's!
"This is my earthly justice, Battousai!" The evil voice thundered.
"Kaoru!" Megumi shouted at the top of her lungs. "Ken-san! Sano!"
Her sight was still blocked by the thick smoke. Pulse rising, she put all her might to stand despite a slight sprain in her ankle. It seemed minutes were hours to pick herself up. Megumi heard footsteps running towards where she was. Sano's and Kenshin's. As the smoke cleared, they all saw…
Kaoru.
Pinned against the wall, a blade pierced through her chest.
Lifeless.
Megumi suddenly had a throbbing headache. It seemed that the world was spinning around her so fast. And yet she saw everything. And heard everything.
"What good is Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu?" Clang! Kenshin dropped his sakabatou.
"What good is Kenshin Himura?" And went down to his knees.
"Again, I failed to protect the one person who is most important to me…Kauro-dono." Kenshin's shoulders were shaking. Tears streaming down his eyes. "Kaoru!"
She could not stand the sight of a lifeless Kaoru, as much as the sight of hope giving up on Kenshin. Megumi could not fathom a strong, mighty swordsman breaking down.
Megumi dashed towards Kaoru's body.
It hurt when her family was torn apart by the war in Aizu. It hurt more to see a friend die like this right before her very eyes. It was all the more painful to see the man who had saved her life pained with such a loss. Kenshin had lost many precious lives and in return claimed numerous ones in his days as a hitokiri. His chance for a change of heart left him 10 years ago. His chance for a new future now doomed.
Megumi sensed the same ache deep inside.
Kaoru was the reason Kenshin lived through the Shishio ordeal.
She was also the reason why they were all here.
Kaoru broke the barriers each of them built around themselves. She. Kenshin. Sano. Yahiko. Her genuine acceptance cracked their walls and they crumbled. They all longed for a home, a safe abode where they could go as they were, without being questioned or doubted. They found out that they could live in normality despite their past selves. Kaoru was the bond that kept this new-found family together.
"Kaoru, please." Megumi said. She took Kaoru's hand and felt her pulse. There was none. "You are a strong person, don't give up this time."
She gathered her nerve, took Kaoru down and laid her on the floor.
"I have saved lives at the edge of death, you jumped in too early." Megumi cried out. She checked her airway and started to put pressure around the wound, where the sword pierced through.
"It's not working. You didn't wait for me…for us!" She remained knelt there. Tears trickled down her face. She felt so useless.
Kenshin, kneeling frozen where he fell, was watching her icily all along while trying to revive Kaoru. He suddenly stood up, took his sakabatou and ran… Away.
Everything went blurry as Megumi's own eyes swell with tears.
That was the last time she saw him. And the hand she held had lost its warmth.
Megumi's resolve to live for a purpose began to falter over the following days after Kaoru was laid to rest. Her resolve was like that of Kenshin's. The Rurouni was the source of her hope, but his was gone, too. Some town's folk found Kenshin in Rakuninmura. They all hurriedly went. It was a place fitting to be called the gate of hell. It disheartened her to see Kenshin all withdrawn. His sakabatou chained. He was like a flickering candle about to extinguish, like the departing spirits of people who settled in that damned place.
"I'm tired." It was all Kenshin could mutter despite Sano's violent ways of convincing him to come back and avenge Kaoru. The brute gave him a hard punch, but Kenshin was numb.
Megumi reached down to him. She realized he was covered with dirt. His wounds and bruises from the battle with Enishi were untended. Unkempt hair covered his grief-swollen eyes.
"Don't stop trying, Ken-san." She told him. "Kaoru…wherever she is now would not want to see you like this." She reached for his soiled hand and held it. "She only wishes happiness for you." She looked at his eyes, but he just turned away.
"Come on, Megumi." Yahiko said, a bit frustrated. "It's no use."
A moment of long silence engulfed the four of them.
They all went back and left the gates of hell with heavy hearts. Not anyone…not a word crossed anyone's lips. Each of them in pieces.
Megumi knew her heart was heavy, but still clinging onto hope.
Perhaps that is all Kenshin needed. He is tired. He needs to rest.
A couple of days after, reality's bite had gone deeper. Sanosuke, discouraged with Kenshin's abandon, also ran away. To where, she did not know. And she did not have the strength anymore to stop the idiot.
First, Kaoru. Then, Kenshin. Now, Sanosuke. Once again, her family…her new-found family was torn by a war in the hearts of men who sought vengeance against one person who had chosen to atone for his acts which brought the era of peace in the country.
We are falling apart.
Megumi felt so alone and hopeless. Tears swelled and fell. She was resilient, more mature than the rest and yet she found herself consumed by the circumstances.
Why? Why does this kind of thing happen to us?
The sound of small footsteps came and paused in front of her. Small feet of a resolute young boy.
"I promise to do my best to protect the people in place of Kenshin. I will become stronger. For Kaoru…for us." Yahiko told her with unwavering resolve. "Kenshin will find his path. We should all be here when he returns."
Yahiko has found his answer.
Megumi's heart leaped with joy when Kenshin came back. She had good news to tell, but Yahiko, Misao with Aoshi pushed themselves to tell Kenshin that Kaoru was alive. They were deceived with a life-size, lifelike, Kaoru-like doll, a deception for an earthly justice. Kenshin gave a slight, weary smile upon hearing great the news. Given the rurouni that he was, Megumi knew that deep inside, he was overjoyed.
She gave a sigh of relief as she looked at this man whom she regarded so highly. The man who told her to become a doctor so she could save lives. It was good to see color came back to his face.
"I will treat you, Ken-san. I can help heal physical wounds, but the wounds of the heart and spirit, you yourself can only mend with the will and hope within you." Megumi told him, as she put patches on his wounds and rub on her home-made salve on his bruises.
"Thank you, Megumi-dono. You never give up on me, that you do." He smiled back. The smile he used to give during their light and hearty moments as a family. A family which Kaoru has brought together.
We were broken, each of us. But good.
Four days went and Sanosuke came back. Megumi knew he would come back. Sano was only too happy to know that Kenshin came to his senses that he did not even bother to tell everyone where he had gone for a week. She knew that the former fighter-for-hire was also searching for his answer. And by the looks of it, he had found his without even telling.
And then she was reminded of what Yahiko said. We should all be here when Kenshin returns.
And they did.
And that was the answer she too searched within. To remain, to hold on, to keep it together.
Megumi was shaken when something exploded in the waters that got Misao all excited. She and Aoshi were looking out for booby traps set under the waters. They managed to detonate all, for which Kenshin was grateful to the Oniwaban couple.
She checked her medicine box again to see if everything was intact after several explosions under. A strong wind blew and she steadied herself again holding on to the railing. Kenshin threw a glance at her, checking if she was alright. She nodded, assuring him. Kenshin smiled back while Sanosuke went down from the railing where he stood as look-out and settled beside her. It warmed her heart.
Somehow, the tapestry of life wove them together. Kenshin, Sano, Yahiko and herself. Aoshi and Misao. Even Constable Saito. They all had their own ways, their own convictions, but this time, they were all here with the same objective: to fight for justice, for belief, for the right way of life, for the future…for love.
I'm one of his trustworthy companions. I'll lend my strength to you, Ken-san.
- End -
