Note/Warning!
This oneshot contains spoilers for the latest Bleach chapter 381, and I was in a highly soppy mood when it was written, so I guess it could be classified as depressive... But I lef the ending opened, so take it whatever way you will. If you want it to be happy, then it is! ^_^
Written after a very interesting conversation with my beta-er about Byakuya's actions, words and general vibe he's been giving off in the last few chapters. Her theory was the Byakuya seemed as if in his opinion, they had already lost the war if it had come to relying on Ichigo, and it created a lovely STORY BUNNY which I had to develop.
So... Enjoy?
"Those are not words I expected to hear from you either, Kuchiki Byakuya."
Byakuya closed his eyes and ignored the comment. Kurotsuchi Mayuri rarely said much he really needed to reply to, and this particular conversation was vexing him. The Garganta closed as Ichigo and Unohana made their way to the human world, where the war was probably in full flare. He didn't know. He didn't think he cared anymore.
He opened his eyes again as Zaraki Kenpachi took another charge at Yammy. Here, in Hueco Mundo, fighting the strongest Espada, he still felt nothing. He had no hope that they would win this war. What did it matter if they beat Yammy? Any work done here mattered nothing - the fight wasn't here. When he heard that some of the Taichous where heading to Hueco Mundo, though... He couldn't say no.
He knew they fight wasn't in Hueco Mundo, and that what was done here would have very little effect overall, but he had to come. Glacing across the battlefield now at Renji, lying unconcious and bleeding, he knew that more than he did back then. He had to come. For Renji.
Ignoring the battle cries from both Kenpachi and Yammy and watching as Kotetsu made her way to RUkia, he stiffly used his shunpo until he stood before his injured fukutaichou. He remembered once when he stood like this, with Renji beating and dying face down at his feet, but then... He was the one who put him in this state. His heart wrenched at the memory and familiar guilt washed over him once again. He shrugged it off in lieu of the situation.
Carefully lowering himself to one knee, he resisted the urge to reach out a hand and touch Renji's head. He could see from here that he was still bleeding, and Kurotsuchi wasn't far off, watching.
"Renji," He conceded to call quietly, and it was only when he spoke it out loud already that he winced at his use of the man's first name. He had to become more formal for fear of humiliation - Renji couldn't know - if he knew - He unscrambled his thoughts and leaned closer. "Abarai-fukutaichou."
No response. Worry building up like bile in his throat at this stage, he finally reached out with one slender, gloved hand and shook the red-head's shoulder. "Renji," He said more forcefully this time.
This time he got a response. Renji's arms twitched and his right hand gripped Zabimaru's hilt. Byakuya snapped his hand away, relinquishing his grip on his shoulder. Renji groaned.
"Renji?" At this stage he was beyond noticing or caring whether or not he used the familiar. Unbeknowst to the other, Renji was more or less family to him anyway. "Renji!"
"Taichou...?" Renji pushed against the ground with his left arm, and realizing his intention, Byakuya reached out once again and helped him turn over on his back, this time leaving his hand on his shoulder. "Where are you injured Renji?"
Renji's eyes were still closed and he was breathing heavily, teeth gritted, obviously trying to hide any traces of pain. Byakuya winced just at the sight, his heart almost physically ripping itself from his chest. Why did he wait so long before coming? Why did he leave Renji to... to this?
"Renji, your injuries -"
"When did you... Get over here... Taichou..." Renji somehow got out between pants. Byakuya wanted to cover his mouth, to call him an idiot and tell him not to speak unnecesarily, to rest. The reminder of the two Taichous nearby helped him hold on to his restraint.
"Irrelevant. Don't speak unnecesarily, Renji."
Renji finally opened his eyes, and after glancing at the white-gloved hand on his shoulder, his eyes moved up to his Taichou sitting above him. "Taichou... Where's your haori...?"
Very unlike himself, Byakuya gave an exhasperated sigh. "I will not rep-"
"And why... Why are you using... My name?" Renji's voice was becoming drowsier, his eyes headvy-lidded again, but he spoke the last sentance with a smile.
"Renji," Byakuya tried to hold the emotion back from his voice, but was becoming more panicked by the minute. "Don't go to sleep. Renji!" He snapped as Renji's eyes drifted closed, only to open again moments later.
"Hey, Taichou... Y'okay?"
"Your injuries must be tended to, tell me where they are and maybe Hanatarou will do."
"M'fine, Taichou... Just a little beat up..." His eyes drifted closed again.
"Renji!" Byakuya, all caution thrown to the wind now, removed his hand from Renji's shoulder and placed it roughly on his face, bring his other hand to the other side of his face. "Do not sleep, Renji!"
Renji smiled again, eyes still closed. "That feels nice..." He mumbled. His voice was becoming more and more incoherant. "Taichou... Where's Rukia."
Byakuya glanced at Kotetsu speaking with Rukia, who was sitting up in the sand and nodding back at her. "Fine. Renji, please -"
"Tell her sorry for me, will ya?"
At that, Byakuya had to get angry. "Abarai Renji, you may tell her that yourself if you wish. You are going to get up soon and return home soon." If you don't... I don't know what I will do... How was he going to convince Renji they could win this war if he didn't believe it himself?
"Taichou, are you...cryin'?" Renji's eyes were open again, and he hadn't noticed. He hastily removed one hand from Renji's face and brushed at his eyes.
"No." He hadn't cried... Since Hisana died, he thought. The only time since he had come close was after Rukia's near execution, racked with guilt and disgust at his own actions then.
"Hey... Byakuya, whas'wrong?" Renji's eyes were more alert all of a sudden, and Byakuya drew his mental shell up around him.
"Nothing." He looked up, read to call Kotetsu, when Renji lifted his left hand and placed it on the one Byakuya still held against his face.
"M'sorry, Taichou." He mumbled, exotic coloured eyes boring into Byakuya's blue ones, suddenly not as cold as usual. "I..." Byakuya watched with wide eyes as Renji struggled to find words in his injury-induced stupor. "I need you to tell Rukia sorry for me," he almost begged. "And I need to tell you..." He closed his eyes and took a sigh. "Remember that time... You were in the 4th Division, after Gin..." He took deep breaths between words. "I was gonna tell you something." He opened his tear-filled eyes and stared right into Byakuya's again and tightened his grip on Byakuya's hand. "I gotta tell you now... That I love you."
Byakuya's eyes widened more and his mouth opened in a small 'o'. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, and at the same time, didn't want to. He was overjoyed and dismayed. How he had longed to hear such words from Renji, but in these circumstances? Was he telling him this because the thought...? Gods, he couldn't even think such a thing, especially when Renji's eyes drifted closed yet again and his hand relaxed around Byakuya's.
Instead, he looked up, a tear leaking from each eye, and called out. "Kotetsu-fukutaichou! Come here, now!"
She and Rukia looked up with shocked expressions, and when Rukia saw were he was, let out a strangled "Renji!"
Isane stood and sprinted to where the red-haired fukutaichou lay, put her hands together and began her healing spell. Byakuya moved back on his knees and watched, desperate.
DOES HE LIVE? :O
Who am I kidding? Of course he does. I just had to leave it there. It seemed right. I liked this, though, so I may continue it one day with what happens next. I'll see what kind of responsie I get first, though, and if there is any point xD
You know what to do... Hit the button...
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