Notes:

I own nothing except the plot bunnies in my head, nor do I derive any income from any of this.

So, this was supposed to be a kind of funny, lighthearted drabble that went completely wrong, but I think it worked out alright anyway.


Thor was brushing his fingers through Jane's hair idly while his attention remained on the television screen, transfixed by whatever Darcy had turned on to entertain him with this time, when Sif walked into the room. Jane looked up from her notebook, tipping her head back when Thor greeted his friend with a low rumble, the end of her pen still clenched between her teeth. Darcy glanced over at the warrior as well, smiling broadly. "Hey chica! Wanna come watch with us?"

Sif smiled at Thor, but the expression did not reach her eyes, it never seemed to reach her eyes which might not have drawn any attention if Darcy had not seen what a genuine smile looked like on the woman's face. The day she and the Warriors Three had come to Earth to retrieve Thor was one that was burned into Darcy's mind. The warrior had seemed almost childlike in her excitement to see her friend, but all of that was long gone, the Sif who had returned to see Thor was short of temper, and reticent.

Looking at Darcy, Sif took a step back. "I appreciate the offer, but no, thank you. I will be down in the gym, training, if I should be needed." With that, she turned on her heel, disappearing down the hallway, the end of her dark ponytail the last thing to vanish.

Waiting until she was certain that Sif was out of earshot, Darcy looked over at Thor, her brow furrowed. "What was that all about?"

Before he could answer her, Jane cut in, brandishing her pen in the air in emphasis. "She doesn't like me."

"Nay, Jane. Sif does not dislike you." Thor cut in while Darcy met Jane's eyes, the two of them communicating without words, the gist of which was that Thor was blind to Sif's jealousy. "She came to tell me she was preparing to train, you heard her say so."

Darcy met Jane's eyes again, but shrugged. "If you say so, but I get the feeling that she needs to get laid."

Thor made a strangled noise of protest, shifting his position on the couch to see Darcy better in her position in the overstuffed armchair, looking distinctly uncomfortable by the turn his day had just taken.

"Hey! We should set her up with someone!" Darcy exclaimed suddenly, Jane's eyebrows rising in positive contemplation.

"There are enough superheroes around here to find someone who would not be completely terrified to take Sif to dinner."

Looking completely bewildered, Thor shook his head. "I can assure you that Lady Sif would not appreciate this gesture. Verily, the time Fandral tried to find her a suitable match, he found himself bruised and bleeding. The both of them, Fandral and the unfortunate suitor."

Darcy looked thoughtful. "Maybe she swings the other way? That's why you are so sure she's not jealous of Jane! Hey! Maybe she's jealous of you over Jane!"

Jane made to protest, but Thor cut her off, getting to his feet, his expression surprisingly hurt. "You should not make light of things you know nothing about. I believe I will join Sif in the gym." He headed for the door with a clipped and entirely uncharacteristic, "Good day."

The two women watched in stunned silence as Thor took his leave, exchanging puzzled glances as he followed Sif's path out of the sitting room and into the hallway.

"You know what it says in the myths don't you?" Darcy pushed the subject forward even though it was likely best left alone at this point, and Jane sighed, finally setting her notebook aside, and her pen on its cover.

"You mean the part where Sif is Thor's wife?" Jane pursed her lips a bit, nodding. "I have read that, and I've also talked to Thor about." She shrugged. "He says that it's not true, they've never been married, and she's like a sister to him. I mean, maybe there was something between them once, they're, like, really old, but I believe him. He's not exactly good at lying."

Darcy nodded in return. "That's true… I've never seen him react like that either, and I was just joking around. I s'pose I should shoot him an apology." She sighed. "Wanna come?"

Jane's eyes fell on her notebook, and for several long seconds she looked undecided, but finally she scooped it up and got to her feet, depositing her notes into her bag. "I do feel kind of bad, Sif's one of his best friends. I just don't want to be 'that girl' you know?"

Darcy slid out of her chair, and grinned at her friend. "You could never be 'that girl', for serious, you caught yourself a god, 'that girl' couldn't do that."

They made their way down the levels of Stark Tower to where the gym was located, their conversation turned to more random topics, but as the elevator doors opened, they fell silent as a resounding boom echoed down the hallway.

"What the hell, was that?!" Jane exclaimed, looking to Darcy in alarm as they sped their pace toward the gym. Their progress was halted, however, by JARVIS's smooth voice sounding above them.

"Mr. Stark has instructed me to advise you not to go in there. It seems that Mr. Odinson, and the Lady Sif have come to some sort of disagreement."

"What sort of disagreement? They came down here to train, and they can get pretty intense when they spar."

A short silence before JARVIS replied again. "Mr. Stark wishes to inform you that he can tell the difference between sparring and fighting."

Jane exchanged a look with Darcy, and turned back to the elevator. "Where is Tony? In his workshop?"

"Yes, Ms. Foster." She grabbed Darcy's arm and pulled her back toward the elevator. "I am pretty sure they're not fighting-fighting." Jane grumbled, but if Tony though they were fighting, there was probably a good reason for it.

"Ah, Ladies!" Tony called as Darcy and Jane came into his workshop, extending the pen in his hand like a pointer to indicate the large screen in front of him. "Did our resident Fabio impersonator finally get tired of Xena's jealous moping?"

"Oh. My. God." Darcy breathed as she came around to Tony's other side to see what he was pointing at as Jane's hand came up to cover her mouth as her eyes went wide.

Thor and Sif were indeed not engaged in any friendly sort of sparring. In fact, both of them were bleeding, Thor from a split lip and a gash on his bicep, and Sif from a cut on her head. It was hard to get a good look at the injuries past the flash of crimson, however, as the two of them were going at it as if it were a fight to the death. Sif's glaive locked with Mjolnir, and she brought her boot up to shove him away with a violent kick that sent Thor sprawling on the floor, but before she could take advantage of it, his hammer came around and crashed into her ribs, and Sif was knocked sideways onto the mats.

"Shouldn't you be stopping this?" Jane asked, appalled. "If you don't, I…" She would what, exactly? Thor might stop at her urging, but Sif?

Tony made a show of turning his head to look at her. "It took big, green, and not so jolly to take out one Asgardian. I am not getting in the middle of two, besides, I did try to break them up, but neither one is listening."

Darcy was leaning forward, watching the fight with rapt interest as Sif seemed to ignore what could have only been a very painful blow, and leaped back to her feet the two Aesir trading impressive blows. "How did it start?" She tilted her head toward Tony. 'I'm pretty sure Thor didn't just show up, and like, start knocking Sif around."

He opened his mouth as if to speak, but no sound came out and he closed it again, pointing his pen at her. "I could find out. JARVIS? Get me the footage from the gym starting from the time that the gods of destruction arrived there."

There were a few moments of silence while the trio watched them fight, neither one easing up, neither gaining ground, neither losing it. Thor was surely stronger than Sif, but it seemed to make no difference as she parried his strikes, and making her own. There was more blood now, enough that it was impossible to discern the extent of their injuries, and Tony was very honestly disquieted by the whole thing even if he was making light of it. He did not want a crazy Goddess of War getting loose to wreak her own brand of havoc on the city, it hadn't really recovered from Loki's attack yet.

"Your video is ready, sir." JARVIS's cultured voice announced as it began to play.

Sif arrived in the gym, looking as unimpressed as she ever did, moving to the center of the mats to work through what she called 'forms' but it was what martial artists would refer to as 'katas'; though her forms were maybe reminiscent of martial arts on occasion, it absolutely was not one and the same. Most of the moves relied on power, and brute strength, but the warrior goddess did have a way of making it look like something more. Probably an adaptation that made those moves distinctly hers, the changes she had to make to a man's fighting style so that she could keep up with them, using her mind, flexibility, and speed to make up for the lack of comparable strength. Which was an amusing thing to consider since Sif could pick up and one of them and throw them through the wall with little to no effort at all.

Tony skipped through until Thor stepped through the door, his presence completely ignored by Sif, who had moved on to forms that included her weapon. He watched her silently for several seconds, brow furrowed until he stepped forward, his voice rumbling low in his chest. "Sif, we must speak."

A battle cry erupted from the other speakers, and their attention was drawn back to the live display where Sif had managed to knock Thor flat on his back, the point of her weapon pressed against his throat.

"Oh, shit!" Tony cried, jumping to his feet as he picked up the briefcase that contained his suit on the way to the door.

"Tony… Wait." Jane said, making a 'sit down' gesture with her near hand. "I think it's okay."

He quirked an eyebrow at her, but Darcy pulled her eyes away from the screen then as well, nodding. Puzzled he returned to his chair to see that Sif had withdrawn her weapon, returning it to its place at her hip as Thor watched her with a concerned expression from his place on the floor. Suddenly he gave her a sad sort of smile and sat up to grab her hand and pull her down to the floor with him. She surprised them all by not protesting the action and coming to rest next to him, her head on his shoulder. It was almost intimate, and Jane straightened her spine, standing up from the partially bent forward position she was watching the video from.

They were murmuring something to each other, but speaking too softly to be picked up by the audio sensors, and though they really should have been leaving the two alone to whatever it was that was happening, Tony scowled. "JARVIS, enhance the audio, I want to know what those two love birds are talking about." A moment later, they could be heard, but not understood as it became apparent that they were speaking another language entirely. A dramatic sigh, "Jarvis, can you translate that?"

"I am sorry sir, but this is no known dialect, though it does have some very basic similarities to Ancient Norse."

Jane made a face, and headed for the door. "I should get back to my research." She muttered before Darcy caught her hand.

"Come on babe, we haven't even seen what started all this, and, yeah, it looks bad, but, in case you forgot, those Asgardian types are pretty friendly with each other. "

"I- I'm not leaving because of that…"

Tony gave her a dubious look and nodded at Darcy. "Little Miss Sunshine is right, we should see what that fight was all about."

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, but sighed softly and returned to her place next to Tony's chair as he started the surveillance from where JARVIS had paused it when they had been distracted.

Thor moved closer to Sif, resting his hand on her shoulder. "Why are you here? You have no love of Midgard, and it is obvious that you are no happier here than you would be on Asgard."

"I was hoping for distraction." She stated simply, bringing her weapon up to rest across her shoulder, opposite his hand, the very hand he now withdrew.

"It has gotten so bad that my friends are convinced that you are jealous of Jane, or, rather, jealous of me because you wish Jane for yourself." There was no amusement in the look he gave her, and the dark expression that clouded her eyes was frightening. "Do not look at me so, Sif, and do not think to take your ire out on them either, they mean no harm."

Sif growled. "I care nothing for their opinion of me, but if my presence is causing strife, I shall depart."

"…Sif." Thor sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I cannot hope to help you if you will not speak with me."

"I have been here nearly a fortnight and you are always in Jane's company." She protested, almost petulantly, causing Tony and Darcy to both look at Jane sympathetically.

"If you wished to speak with me, you need only ask, this does not change regardless my company." He protested, trying to meet Sif's eyes, but they had fallen to some point on the floor, the flexing of her jaw visible even from the camera's vantage point.

"I do not wish to interfere with your time with the mortal, Thor. Time is short, and you never know when she might no longer be available to you." The words themselves sounded almost like a threat, yet the desolate look on her face spoke of a loss of her own, and something seemed to dawn on Thor then.

"Spar with me Sif, you seem to be in need of a good fight."

"And you consider yourself a suitable opponent?" Her lips curved into a wry smile that did not reach her eyes, and Thor grinned in return, but even his expression seemed a little off.

He pulled Mjolnir from his belt and took a step back. "I believe that the result of our last match was in my favor."

"And before that?" Her eyebrow arched, the arrogant tilt to her chin had returned. "I believe that I have had at least as many victories as you have, if not more to my name."

"Do you care to lay a wager on it?" Thor asked as he stepped into a defensive stance.

"What are your terms?" The warrior asked, suspicion crossing her features as she widened her stance, bringing her blade down from her shoulder.

"When I win, you will stop running away and go see Loki." It was spoken authoritatively, almost challengingly as Sif's eyes narrowed and she shook her head.

"What?"

"Despite my brother's belief to the contrary, Sif, I am not a fool. The two of you have been sneaking off, and exchanging looks that were definitely not very platonic for centuries. Did you truly believe that I was so oblivious?"

"Xena and Reindeer Games? No fucking way!" Tony exclaimed, leaning toward the screen, and Darcy reached over and squeezed Jane's arm.

For one brief moment, pain was evident on Sif's face, and in that second, it seemed inevitable that she would break down and cry, but the moment passed, and all that was left was steely determination, and she shook her head, answering through her teeth. "No wager." She sprang into action then, and Thor easily blocked her weapon, the two of them exchanging blows in what looked like any other sparring match, but with each strike, Sif seemed to grow angry, become more violent until they were literally beating on each other, and it was obvious that they had come full circle.

Tony turned off the second screen and turned back to the first where the two were still laying together, speaking softly in Asgardian, or whatever language it was that they had settled on. "So it seems that all of that," he made a wide sweeping gesture toward the screen, "was just Thor trying to, make her feel better?"

Darcy shrugged. "She is the Goddess of War, I would rather Thor let her beat the crap out of him than see what else she might do to feel better."

"Uh, Thor got in a few good hits too." Jane interjected, as though she needed to defend him.

Down in the gym, Sif sat up, climbing to her feet, and looked back at Thor as he did the same, then she said something else in that indistinguishable language, and Thor looked straight up at the camera, switching to the Alltongue so that he would be understood. "You need not worry, Sif, after all, you did not even know that I had learned of your relationship with Loki. I will divulge it no one now." He turned back toward her so that they could no longer see his face. "You should still consider speaking with him, he needs to remember that he is loved."

Sif said nothing to that, only nodded, and turned back for the door as Thor threw one more pointed look toward the camera. Tony, Jane, and Darcy exchanged looks, recognizing the warning for what it was, and with few words exchanged between them, they made their vague promises to never speak of it again.