Disclaimer: None of these outcomes are what I would necessarily like to happen. I'm going with my gut when it comes to what is most realistic.
Outcomes:
Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Drew McIntyre for the United States Championship
Finish: Kingston ducks a boot and lays out McIntyre with a standing enziguri. He goes to the ropes and comes back with the Boom Drop. He sets up in the corner for the Trouble in Paradise, but McIntyre catches him in mid-air and drops him with a massive sit-out spinebuster for a very close two count. McIntyre gets Kingston up and takes him to the top rope for a superplex, but Kingston manages to fight his way out and frontflip over Kingston with a sunset-flip powerbomb for another close two count. Kingston picks McIntyre up, but McIntyre manages to slip Kingston into position for the double-arm DDT. Kingston counters, backdropping McIntyre to the apron, and then goes for a kick to the head, but McIntyre ducks, and then hangs Kingston's jaw up in the ropes before re-entering the ring and laying out Kingston with a big boot. McIntyre then gets cocky and mocks Kingston, setting up for a Trouble in Paradise of his own, but Kingston ducks, and tries to set McIntyre up for his forward russian legsweep, but McIntyre counters it into the double-arm DDT for the three count and the victory, winning the United States Championship.
Winner: NEW United States Champion, Drew McIntyre.
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The New Nexus (David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty) vs. Evan Bourne and Daniel Bryan for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Finish: Otunga and McGillicutty set up in each corner, with Bryan dazed in the center of the ring, and go for a double running clothesline, but Bryan dodges and they crash into each other. Bryan then leaps to his corner to tag in Bourne, who immediately sets up for the shooting star press on Otunga, and nails it. However, McGillicutty manages to break up the count, and gets a flying clothesline from Bryan for his efforts, sending him out of the ring. While the referee is distracted by Bryan and McGillicutty, however, Mason Ryan gets involved on the apron, grabbing Bourne by the head and hanging him up on the ropes, causing him to turn around into a spinebuster from Otunga for the three count.
Winners: STILL WWE Tag Team Champions, David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty
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Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio
Finish: Del Rio ascends to the top rope as Kane struggled to get back to his feet, and launches himself, but Kane catches him in mid-air with a huge boot to the face. Ricardo Rodriguez gets up on the apron to yell at Kane, but Kane simply grabs Rodriguez by his jacket and yanks him over the top rope and into the ring. Kane decks him with a right hand to the face, and then clotheslines him over the top rope and to the outside, but turns around into a huge clothesline from Del Rio. Del Rio goes back to work on Kane's arm, locking in a keylock. Kane struggles, and is eventually able to use his body weight to his advantage, overpowering Del Rio by getting to his feet and executing a hip toss. Kane would then level Del Rio with a clothesline, and then another. He then hits a scoop slam, and goes to the top for a flying clothesline, but Del Rio is able to regroup and catch him in mid-air with a standing dropkick. Kane falls into the middle of the ring, and Del Rio stalks him, setting up for the armbar finisher. Kane is able to catch Del Rio in mid-move and sets up for the chokeslam, but as he lifts him up, Rodriguez levels him in the back with a steel chair, ending the match in a disqualification.
After the bell, Del Rio wraps the chair around Kane's arm, goes to the top rope, and comes down with a big stomp, shattering Kane's arm in the chair. He then applies the armbar, and holds it in until the referee is able to pull him off.
Winner: Kane (by DQ)
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The Miz vs. Alex Riley
Finish: Miz charges Riley in the corner, but Riley dodges and Miz collides face-first with the top turnbuckle. He backs up into a reverse DDT from Riley for a close two count. Riley would whip Miz into the turnbuckle, and charge into him with a hard clothesline, and then repeat the process with another hard clothesline in the opposing turnbuckle, and light Miz up with rights and lefts until the referee pulls him off. Miz takes advantage of this, and unhooks the pad on the top turnbuckle, exposing the steel. Riley comes back into the corner, and Miz decks him with an elbow, and then goes for a springboard crossbody, but Riley rolls through and gets a two count. Riley picks Miz up on his shoulders for his finisher (for those of you who don't remember, it's a reverse fireman's carry into a spinning cutter), but Miz counters and sends Riley into the referee, knocking him to the floor on the outside. Miz then drops Riley with a low blow, buying himself time to recover. Miz then tries to whip Riley into the corner with the exposed turnbuckle, but Riley counters, and Miz is sent face-first into the steel, and Riley catches him on the rebound with his finisher. He goes for the pin, but there's no referee to count the fall. Riley tries to fetch the ref, but once he gets him back in the ring, Miz is up, and Miz catches Riley with a thumb to the eye, and then nails the Skull Crushing Finale. He goes for the pin, but the referee, still dazed, only counts two before Riley is able to kick out.
Miz is shocked, and goes to the outside to get a steel chair. He gets back in and swings at Riley, but Riley ducks, and the chair bounces off the rope and nails Miz square in the skull. Riley covers, but Miz is still able to somehow get a shoulder up. Riley goes to drop Miz with his finisher again, but Miz is able to squirm off Riley's shoulders and set up for another SCF, but Riley rolls through and delivers a swift kick to the head for yet another close two count. Riley goes to pick him up, but Miz grabs his arm and executes a hip toss to attempt to lock him in a headlock. Riley fights out, and goes for a quick spinning neckbreaker, but Miz reverses it again, and drops Riley with the Skull Crushing Finale out of desperation, finally getting the three count and managing to save the victory.
Winner: The Miz
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The Corre (Wade Barrett (c), Heath Slater, and Justin Gabriel) vs. Ezekiel Jackson in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match for the Intercontinental Championship
In this match, Jackson can pin any member of The Corre to win the IC Title
Finish: Jackson would be double-teamed by Slater and Gabriel in the corner, but would use his ungodly strength to power out, shoving both men to the mat in the center of the ring. He would take turns leveling both men, one after the other, and then clotheslines them both out of the ring, focusing his attention on Barrett, who was still seated in the corner, recovering from a massive powerslam. He would go to pick Barrett up, but Barrett would catch him with a thumb to the eye, and then a scoop slam. Barrett would call for Gabriel to hit the 450 splash, but Jackson would roll through it, and Gabriel would go into the mat face-first. Jackson would then catch Barrett's boot right in his jaw as he got to his feet, and Barrett would then set up for Wasteland, but Jackson would reverse it, and then shove Barrett into Slater, who was perched on the top rope. Barrett would then turn around and walk right into Jackson's finisher (it looked pretty much like a release rock bottom to me, judge for yourself) for the three count.
Winner: NEW Intercontinental Champion, Ezekiel Jackson
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Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Mark Henry in a Fatal-4-Way for the World Heavyweight Championship
Finish: Orton would set Christian up for a superplex off the top rope, but Henry would catch him in a vulnerable spot, and get into a powerbomb position. The resulting powerbomb wouldn't interrupt the superplex, and the final result would be a powerbomb off the top on Orton, and a superduperplex on Christian, sending him all the way to the other end of the ring. Henry covers the champion for a two count. Henry would then set Orton up for a scoop slam, but Orton would counter out of it with his patented back/neckbreaker, and then begin stalking Henry for the RKO. However, as he went to perform the move, Henry would shove him into Christian, standing on the apron, who delivers a kick to the Viper's head, and Orton turns around into a powerslam from Henry. Henry goes for the pin, but Christian flies off the ropes with a springboard elbow drop to break up the count. Christian then sets up for Killswitch on the World's Strongest Man, but Henry reverses out of it, and goes for a powerslam. Christian manages to reverses out of it, and then finally plants Henry with the Killswitch near the ropes. Christian goes for the pin, but at two, he's yanked out of the ring by Sheamus, who drops Captain Charisma with a Brogue Kick on the outside. Sheamus then gets in the ring and tries to pin Henry, but Henry powers out at two. Sheamus then turns his attention to Orton, and suplexes him, with his leg landing on Henry's throat, and then covers Orton for a two count. Sheamus goes to pick Orton up for the Crucifix Powerbomb, but Orton powers out and gets a backslide for a two count. Sheamus then charges Orton and goes for the Brogue Kick, but Orton dodges it and drops Sheamus with an RKO. He goes for the pin, but Christian, still on the outside, puts Sheamus's foot on the bottom rope to break up the pin.
Orton battles Christian on the apron, coming out on top with the European uppercut, and then sets up for the rope-assisted DDT, nailing it, and in the process, landing Christian's head on Sheamus sturnum. He covers Christian for a two count, and then sets up for the punt. He goes for it, but Henry revives, and catches Orton with a massive clothesline. Henry then sets up Christian for the powerslam once again, but Christian fights out of it, taking Henry into the corner and planting him with the top-rope spinning DDT. He covers, but Sheamus breaks up the count, this time with a boot to the head. He goes for the Crucifix Powerbomb on Christian, but as he's in position, Orton comes back and hits another RKO. Christian goes to break up the pin attempt, but Orton simply rolls him into a small package for a close two count. Christian gets up quickly, and almost walks into an RKO, but he manages to counter it and drop the world champion with his Killswitch. He goes for the pin, but Orton somehow manages to kick out at 2 and nine-tenths, shocking Christian as well as the crowd.
Christian argues with the referee, stunned that he couldn't get the three count, but his stalling allowed Henry to regain his composure, and the World's Strongest Man would attack Christian from behind, sending him into the ropes. However, Christian would manage to backdrop Henry out of the ring, just in time to walk into a huge RKO from Orton. Orton would crawl into the cover, and Christian would manage to roll a shoulder out at 2 as well, electrifying the DC crowd. Orton would set up for the punt on Sheamus, who was still recovering from the second RKO, but Sheamus would dodge it, and drop Orton with a Brogue Kick for a close two count. Sheamus would focus in on Orton as Christian slowly made it back to his feet. Orton would shove Sheamus off of him, causing Sheamus to walk right into a right hand from Christian. Christian and Orton would then trade right hands on Sheamus, until Orton nailed Sheamus with a dropkick. Sheamus's momentum would send him towards Christian, who would dodge, causing Sheamus to fall right into a big right hand from Henry, knocking him to the mat.
Then, Henry would pick Christian up for a suplex, but Christian squirms out and manages to reverse it into a Killswitch. Orton, seeing this, would charge out of the corner and deliver the punt to the downed Sheamus, and manage to get to the pin just milliseconds before Christian is able to pin Henry, scoring the three count to stun Christian and retain the World Heavyweight Championship.
After the match, an angered and frustrated Christian would simply sit in the corner, mulling over his loss. Referee Jack Doan would walk over to him, and Christian, without saying a word, would drop the ref with the Killswitch.
Winner: STILL World Heavyweight Champion, Randy Orton
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Brie Bella (c) vs. Kharma for the WWE Diva's Championship
Finish: The Bella Twins would use Twin Magic to no avail in this title defense, as Kharma would dominate both sisters, one after the other. Nikki would get in the ring with the belt near the end and nail Kharma in the back, causing the DQ, but Kharma would seem unphased. Instead, she would grab Nikki up and plant her with the Bad Kharma. She would then turn around to Brie, position her correctly, and drop her with the Bad Kharma as well, this time with her face colliding with the Diva's Title belt on impact.
Winner: Kharma (by DQ)
I wanted to save all the readers a massive headache by just cutting this one short. Nobody cares about the Diva division anymore, aside from Kharma, who is, unfortunately, not yet tenured enough to wear the Diva's Title in a realistic sense. It's one thing to have to watch these matches play out on RAW and Smackdown!, but to have to read them is a whole different level of hell.
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John Cena (c) vs. Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth vs. CM Punk in a Fatal-4-Way for the WWE Championship
Finish: Truth would set up for the What's Up on Punk, but Mysterio would get up on the apron, and deliver a kick to Truth's spine. Mysterio would fly through the air for a springboard crossbody, but Truth would catch him in mid-air with a dropkick that would shoot Mysterio out of the ring with the momentum. Punk then catches Truth walking into a GTS, but Truth fights out and plants Punk with the What's Up. He goes for the pin, but Cena breaks it up by pulling Truth off and locking him in the STF. Truth is able to fight out of it and roll Cena into a pinning situation, but Cena kicks out at two. Truth charges at Cena, but gets tripped up and locked in the STF once again, this time with nowhere to go. But before Truth can tap out, Mysterio comes down on Cena with a springboard Dropin' da Dime to break the hold. Mysterio would go for the pin on Cena, but the champion would kick out at two. Mysterio would then set Cena up for 619 with a standing dropkick to the back that sent him into the middle rope, but Punk would catch Mysterio in mid-charge with a standing dropkick of his own. Punk then turns around into Cena, who lifts him up for the Attitude Adjustment, but is able to counter and plant Cena with a DDT in the middle of the ring for a very close two count. He would then go to lift Cena up, but Cena would pick the ankle and try to lock in the STF, but Punk would reverse it and send Cena into the middle rope.
Then, Mysterio would charge into the ropes and deliver a big 619 on Cena out of nowhere, causing Cena, on the rebound, to walk right into a huge GTS from Punk. Mysterio would fly through the air off the springboard for a West Coast Pop, but Punk would catch him in mid-air in a powerbomb position. Mysterio is able to counter, and shoots Punk into the middle rope with a headscissors takedown, and then charges through the ropes and delivers a 619. However, as he goes for the springboard splash for the win, Truth appears out of nowhere and drops Mysterio out of mid-air with the What's Up, stunning the crowd. Truth would go for the pin to try and capture the title, but at the count of 2, John Morrison would make his big return, yanking Truth out of the ring and beating him down on the outside. Morrison would go to town on Truth, taking their brawl into the crowd and essentially taking Truth out of the equation as far as the Fatal-4-Way is concerned. The crowd would cheer on Morrison as they fought up through the rows of spectators, all three superstars in the ring remaining down.
Punk is then able to crawl over and attempt to pin Mysterio, but the cunning veteran gets his foot on the bottom rope to break up the count. Punk then grabs Mysterio up, but Mysterio rolls him into a small package for a close two count. As Punk gets back up, he walks right over to Cena, who lifts him up on his shoulders and drops him with the Attitude Adjustment. Cena would then measure Mysterio, and lift him up for the AA, but Mysterio would counter with a headscissors takedown and send Cena into the middle rope. He would charge for the 619, but Cena, in a beautiful counter, would stop Mysterio as he went to finish the move, grabbing his legs and hoisting him up on his shoulders before dropping him with the AA. Mysterio's leg would land on the back of Punk's head, and Cena would pin Mysterio for the three count to win the match and retain the WWE Championship.
Winner: STILL WWE Champion, John Cena
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Results:
Drew McIntyre def. Kofi Kingston (c) to win the United States Championship
David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty (c) def. Daniel Bryan and Evan Bourne to retain the WWE Tag Team Championships
Kane def. Alberto Del Rio by DQ
The Miz def. Alex Riley
Ezekiel Jackson def. The Corre (Wade Barrett (c), Heath Slater, and Justin Gabriel) in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match to win the Intercontinental Championship
Randy Orton (c) def. Christian, Sheamus, and Mark Henry in a Fatal-4-Way to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
Kharma def. Brie Bella (c) by DQ in a match for the WWE Diva's Championship
John Cena (c) def. Rey Mysterio, R-Truth, and CM Punk in a Fatal-4-Way to retain the WWE Championship
