A/N: Welcome to "A Tale by the Sisters Hameron - Book 2". This Housian adaptation of "Shrek 2" features the characters from "House" in a story that's filled with the humour and romance of "Shrek 2".

This intricately woven tale is full of twists and surprises and we hope you have as much fun reading our fic as we've had writing it for you!

If you missed "A Tale by the Sisters Hameron - Book 1", you will find the story under id: 3914612

As always, we do not own House, M.D., Shrek, or any of their characters, nor do we profit from this story.
Let the adventure begin ...

... The Sisters Hameron, a.k.a. jellybean30 and daisyb10

oOoOo

A Tale by the Sisters Hameron - Book 2

Chapter 1: Storybook Beginning

Once upon a time, in a land called Far Far Away
the King and Queen were delighted to welcome a beautiful baby girl.
And throughout the land, everyone was happy.

Until the sunset, and they saw that the baby was cursed
with a savage spell that overcame her every night.
Desperate, they sought the counsel of a fairy godmother,
who advised them to secure the princess in a tower
to wait for the kiss of her very own Prince Charming.

Prince Robert Chase, M.D. disembarked from the Greyhound Bus, folding a small leather-bound diary closed and hastily shoving it into his back pocket. He traversed the expansive bus terminal to the bevy of taxis waiting to ferry their passengers to destinations unknown.

"Dewey Screwem Tower, please," Chase told the driver, and settled back in his seat, ignoring the faint vomit smell of the upholstery. He removed the worn diary, a diary that had once belonged to his mother, and re-read her final entry, wherein she had written down his favorite childhood bedtime story.

His mother had read this story to him every night during his upbringing. As he grew into the strapping young man he now was, his mother had revealed to him it was not, in fact, just a story, but was his destiny. He had given up his fond dream of attending the seminary and become a doctor, toiling his way through medical school so that one day he would be worthy of his princess.

And he withstood a long and treacherous journey, over many miles and arduous obstacles, risking his health and sanity to reach the dragon's keep. For he was the most cunning, and the most stunning in all the land. And it was written in the stars this his kiss would break the dreaded curse.

The taxi arrived at the precipice where the bridge to the Dewey Screwem Tower had once stood. The cabbie accepted his fare with an uncertain look; no one ever came here. Chase surveyed the rather frightening safety bridge that had been stretched across the gaping maw surrounding the tower. Constructed of nothing but a few woven steel cables, it looked less than a pleasant stroll. No matter. He crossed the bridge swiftly and rushed to the tower's entrance, pausing only to check his reflection in the smoky glass panels.

He ran one hand through his silky golden locks and smoothed the other over the diary in his back pocket. Making his way to the elevators, he continued the story he knew so well.

He alone would climb to the highest room in the tallest tower.

Chase pushed the button for the top floor, nearly stumbling over a woman's high heeled shoe when he stepped back in the elevator to lean against the wall. He waited impatiently until the doors finally opened onto a small laboratory.

He would enter her room, pull back the curtains to find …

"Who the hell are you?" a voice snapped from behind him. Chase released a startled and somewhat girly scream as he spun around to face his attacker.

He was shocked to find a young woman, or was it a man? He/She had very effeminate features, but the mustache was somewhat confusing. The large lab coat betrayed no signs of a figure.

"Princess Allison?" he questioned. He knew of her curse, but had not prepared himself for her to be so, so …

"No!" the man/woman replied. "I'm Thirteen."

"Thank goodness," Chase sighed in relief. "Well then, if you're not the princess, where is she?"

"She's on her honeymoon," Thirteen replied, walking past Chase to sit at the room's small desk, and began leafing through an issue of How to Play the Game for Both Teams.

"Her honeymoon!" Chase shouted. Thirteen looked up in distress. "With whom?!"

oOoOo

"I don't care how busy she is, the Fairy Godmother is going to see me now!" Chase huffed as he forced his way past the diminutive male assistant at the desk and burst through the guarded door.

"Excuse me," the Fairy Godmother protested from behind her expansive desk, "but you can't just …"

"You can't be the Fairy Godmother," Chase said in bewilderment. The woman who stood before him was hardly the withered old witch he'd expected to find. She wasn't as young as Princess Allison, but she was far from old. Her chocolaty tresses, long and luxurious, were free of any gray and the few lines about her eyes and mouth were barely more than noticeable. Her metallic grey suit jacket was cinched tightly at the waist, accentuating the shapely curve of her hip. The matching skirt was just long enough to escape being unprofessional. Her blouse revealed just the proper amount of skin at the neck, and its rich green reminded Chase of new 100 bills.

"My name is Stacy Warner. I'm a witch, just like my predecessor, but I've been practicing law for the past several years. I can assure you, however, I am the Fairy Godmother."

"Warner, Warner …. You used to work for Lord Vogler, didn't you?" Prince Robert asked.

"That's right? Did you know him?" Stacy asked.

"We had some dealings," Prince Robert replied. "I used to work at PPTH. Never mind that, what happened to the other Fairy Godmother?"

"Corporate take over," Stacy explained. "The Fairy Godmother had been losing money for years; I needed a new career."

"Because of what happened when Vogler went down?" Chase asked.

Stacy looked at him sternly, but her anger quickly faded. She supposed if she was going to convince him to remain as her client he probably deserved some explanation.

"Yes, because of what happened with Vogler. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I'm used to doing whatever is necessary to get my clients what they need. In Lord Vogler's case, that sometimes meant doing things that were …unsavory. When Dr. Cuddy and Dr. Howe blew the whistle on his research tampering there was a lot of fall out. I was disbarred," Stacy explained. She studied Chase carefully, unsure if her honesty was about to lose her a client.

"So you became a witch?" Chase asked, confused.

"I've always been a witch," Stacy explained carefully. "I heard that the previous Fairy Godmother was having some financial difficulties. PPTH's lawyers paid me a small severance package to leave quietly and I used it to buy her out and take over."

"But, you can't possibly be powerful enough to be the Fairy Godmother. You're much too young!"

"Thank you, now get out of my office and see Jerome about an appointment on your way out," Stacy said firmly, a touch of a drawl in her speech.

"Do you know who I am?" Chase demanded.

"Look around," Stacy said. Chase did. The entire office was strewn with papers. Papers in files, papers bursting out of folders, papers in piles and loose pages scatter haphazardly over every possible surface. "I just took over here. I barely even know who I am. Even in all the years I practiced law I never saw such shoddy record keeping. So you'll have to forgive me if I don't recognize you."

"My name is Prince Robert Chase, M.D. I am the heir to the throne of The Kingdom of Cape Wooster and I've come to express my displeasure about the non-fulfillment of a contract," Chase stated grandly.

"A prince?" Stacy asked. "You wouldn't happen to have a copy of the contract, would you? The last Fairy Godmother was a sweet lady, pretty powerful witch too, but I'm not sure she even knew she owned a file cabinet."

"I have this," Chase said, and handed her the diary that had belonged to his mother.

She took it from him and flipped through the pages quickly, pausing when she reached something of interest. "Treacherous journey, arduous obstacles, highest room in the tallest tower …" She looked up at Chase and smiled. "I think I get the idea. What's the problem?"

"She's already married to someone else!" Chase shouted, by now utterly exasperated.

"That is a problem," Stacy said. She perused the diary a little more carefully and took her seat behind her desk once more. Finally she snapped the book shut and gestured for Chase to sit. "Prince Robert, you're my client now and believe me, you will have your Princess.

... by jellybean30