Summary: One-shot. A simple evening spent with friends becomes complicated as Ban and Kazuki fight an apprehensive game of denial and desire.
Disclaimer: I lay no claim upon the story and the characters of Get Backers. This is merely a small story written for my enjoyment.
Rating: T only because Ban has decided to behave for once.
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Snapshot
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How do you plan an assignation with a lover? And how is it that despite your best efforts to keep the affair quiet and secret, the whole world and their mother knows exactly who it is that you've been melting away for. Kazuki sipped his tea thoughtfully. He detested the idea that he was giving away information despite his efforts not to do so; especially since this was knowledge that would cripple him in the future. In their line of work, information could keep you alive or get you killed. Any awareness about a person was important but matters of the heart were particularly sensitive and vital. Kazuki had never believed in wearing his heart on his sleeve. The heart was meant to stay buried within the body, safe and secret. And anything related to the heart was supposed to lie just as safe, just as secret.
And when it became impossible to do so, for whatever reason, Kazuki knew that things were about to go wrong, seriously wrong.
It begins with the eyes. Furtive glances tossed back and forth. It is a sly dance that only the dancers can see and feel. The rest of the players involved in the game are blissfully unaware of the questions asked and silently rebuffed. They are unaware of the answers sought desperately, of the desires that weaved in and around the space that separated them physically. They sat at a booth near the door, surrounded by their friends whose sunny, bright faces betray that they know nothing of the savage flames of desire that emanate from and are engulfing both Ban and Kazuki.
But to stare too long at the face that drives them insane would be too reckless and they aren't that brave yet. They are not yet willing to share the fact of love and lust with their friends. This love is still too new, too fragile to withstand the onslaught of the shock, the resistance, disgust and animosity that will soon curdle the smiling faces that surround them now.
So they look away.
And try to hide what is becoming obvious with every day that passes. The banal, inane pleasantries or snide remarks between "just acquaintances" are taking too much effort. They are "just acquaintances", not even friends. Friends – a faithful sobriquet for lover, enemy, mentor and slave cannot be used for them; it's skirts too close to the truth. And the truth, more than anything else gives Kazuki nervous nightmares. But the anger and the frustration at having to remain "just acquaintances" is beginning to grate on the nerves of a certain string master.
Acquaintances. That's all that they are. That is all they will remain.
Friends share thoughts, bring comfort, solace and peace but Ban did nothing of these things. He brought him no warmth or serenity. All he did was confuse him. He caused turmoil, hesitance and nervousness to rise in his heart and head. Kazuki frowned. He knew what common sense dictated. Ban was a wild card, like a caged animal; when the cage opened, madness would be let loose and he would drown in it. Kazuki held fast to the familiar recesses of his friends and kept his distance from Ban. Such abandon would only bring him grief.
So he looked away.
Ban narrowed his eyes and gripped his coffee cup tightly in his fingers. He raised the cup to his lips and gulped down the last drops of the black liquid mechanically. A nerve twitched near his forehead. He was insane. Why else would he hanker after a guy who belonged to someone else? Kazuki had been Juubei's master for so long that he had become a slave to the relationship. It was a relationship that was caught in stasis. It could never go beyond what it was right now nor retreat down the path to when friends with privileges were just friends. So he should stop. Now. Stop imagining the feel of his hair, the taste of his skin, the touch of his tongue on your own….STOP! His moans would be nothing special. His kisses would be too gentle; he would break if you were too rough. Stop.
But looking away isn't easy when you've spent every waking moment trying to master the art of watching when no one else is looking. So their eyes locked again and again. Breathing was becoming ragged and the air seemed to thin and become scarce. Perhaps it would be better to look directly once and satisfy any curiosity harbored by the heart, rather than continuing to steal glances that would be noticed by someone or the other at the table.
Kazuki looked straight into Ban's eyes….well at his glasses at any rate. He held his gaze for a few seconds and was interrupted by Ginji, who tugged on Ban's sleeve, something about being hungry. He felt the cold knife of jealousy tear brutally through his breast as Ban turned away and looked at Ginji, smiling and attentive. Ginji's ever present smile widened and he repeated his plea of hunger. Ban ruffled his hair gently and led him to the counter where Natsumi became engrossed with them. Ban sat at one of the bar stools and swiveled around. Propping his elbows on the counter, he invited Kazuki to look at him.
Shido was getting suspicious. He looked sharply at Ban when he'd caught Kazuki staring at Ban a moment too long. Kazuki carefully trained his eyes on the teacup in his hands. He ignored the easy camaraderie between Natsumi, Ginji and Ban. He turned his face away and watched the uninterrupted train of people rushing to work outside. He would wonder sometimes, what life would have been like if they hadn't been inside Mugenjou, if they had never been forced to become the instruments they were.
They might have led normal lives, had nine to five jobs, a house in the suburbs complete with manicured lawns and hedges, and a terracotta gnome with faded paint in the garden. They could have blended in with the tens of thousands of men and women who walked the streets of Tokyo. They could have been ordinary. They would have no gifts that would make them hunted, no power that made them dangerous and no talent that made them hated in the eyes of the world. They could have just been.
He flinched as he felt Ban's eyes boring into him, demanding that he meet his eyes.
Look at me Kazuki. Ban pursed his lips together into a thin line. Kazuki seemed to have glued his eyes to the surface of the table. He refused to look his way, or even lift his eyes. Ban glared at him. He could feel anger and frustration with Kazuki blaze out of his eyes. His lip curled viciously. There was nothing else for it. Punishment was in order. All he needed now was for Kazuki to look at him once, if only for a moment. Even a moment's locked gaze would be enough to explain to him just how foolish ignoring Ban could be.
So he sat there silently, boring holes into the string master's slender frame, plotting a million ways to bring Kazuki to his knees ….. literally.
Shido noticed the almost stricken expression on Kazuki's face. He leaned in close to him and gently nudged his elbow.
"Kazuki? You okay?"
"Uh…yeah. I'm perfectly alright."
"You sure? Cos' you don't look so good."
"Oh. Well, I …uh…actually I ….was thinking." Kazuki straightened his back and sat up stiffly. He rubbed the back of his neck cautiously. "I was wondering whether or not I had locked the door to my apartment this morning."
Shido nodded slowly. "Oh, is that all? You seemed pretty tensed there."
Kazuki flashed him a plastic smile. "Don't worry about that. I'm fine. Besides, anyone would be insane to try something with me."
And that would have been the end of the matter if only Shido could have minded his own business. But instead of turning away and staring at Hevn's beautiful chest like the rest of the self respecting patrons of the Honky Tonk, he chose instead to keep an eye on Kazuki. Ban continued to send acid glares towards him. Shido frowned and then began to notice how fidgety Kazuki was. He would his hair, drag his fingers through the length of it, grip his coffee cup, rub his forehead brush off imaginary lint from his sleeves, twiddle his thumbs and play with the toothpicks on the table and repeat all of this again and again, never settling, never relaxing. Shido watched him with growing trepidation.
Kazuki was acting like a geek on his first date or a naughty boy who's been asked to call his parents and is now sitting with them in the principal's anteroom.
Ban smirked. It was working. Kazuki wasn't as oblivious to him as he'd like everyone to believe. He might not look him in the eye, might not even acknowledge his presence but his body language made everything clear. He relaxed.
With feline grace, he strode back to the booth where he'd been seated just a few minutes ago and slid onto the seat. Kazuki's movement stilled immediately. He glanced up. Ban slid his glasses down just a notch. Kazuki's eyes widened.
Ban stood up and cupped Kazuki's face with his hands, his cold fingers sliding over the warm skin of his cheeks. He leaned in closer and claimed his mouth with his lips even as the collective gasps of everyone in the room resounded in his ears. He coaxed his lips apart and slid his tongue in, slowly exploring, nudging away the feeble resistance that Kazuki had managed to muster. The acrid taste of cigarettes mingled with caffeine exploded inside him. He gripped Ban's forearms with his hands, rising to his feet. He pulled him closer, arching his neck with pleasure. He almost tore off the buttons on Ban's shirt in an attempt to take it off and touch Ban's skin. His fingers clawed between the buttons, trying to pull them away hastily. He bent his head, his lips just centimeters away from Ban's marble skin……
"Kazuki!"
"Kazu-chaaaaan!!!!!!"
"Kazuki-san!"
Faint voices were echoing somewhere in the periphery of his mind. He swatted at them as one does to errant flies. Then some blasted person was shaking him! Heavens! Leave me alone! I'm a little busy here!
"WHAT!" The undisguised irritation in his voice silenced them all. Ginji, Shido, Natsumi, Paul and Hevn were gaping at him. He looked at their faces one by one. Ban was sitting across the table, watching him with a bemused expression. He looked at him in confusion. Ban smirked and slid his glasses up his nose. He leaned closer.
"Did you have a nice dream?"
Author's Notes
Written a long time back, please tell me what you think. Read and review.
