Chaotic Revival:Ok, I'm back, and with less meds than ever!
Malak: Cheers...
Chaotic Revival:Shut up, or you'll end up like my Fire Emblem lackies!
***Elsewhere***
Colm:Pool..n-n-noodles....
***Back to this fic***
Chaotic Revival: Aaaaanyyyywaaaays...Mustadio! Hit it, meh man!
Mustadio: Chaotic Revival does not own the Final Fantasy Series, its characters, plots, etc. Now read the story, or I'll shoot your balls off.
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I am Alazlam. Yes, my parents were on the meth when they named me. I am a scholar of Ancient Ivalice history. I study dead people for a living. Yay me.
Have you ever heard of the Lion War? It started when these two dumbasses started fighting over who'd be king. It went something like this:
Goltana:Rawr, I'z guna be king! Lololol!
Larg:No ur not! I pwnzors you first! Roflcopter!!!!11
Goltana: Plz, u gon get pwnzored, noob! Lololol!
Anyways, this war ended with the appearance of a young hero named Delita. Alot of parents are on the meth, apparantly. Still, its not as retarded as ZALBAG! Anyways, everyone in Ivalice knows this hero's tale. But we also know that what we see with our eyes alone isn't neccesarily the truth. Like political promises or Britney Spears in decent clothing.
Heres a young man.
Ramza:...
He is the youngest son of the noble Beoulve..Okay, seriously, who the hell came up with these names? But, I digress. There is no record of his playing an active part in history, but according to the Duray Report released last year (Concealed for many years by the church, the sneaky bastards), this unknown man is the true hero...Wait, if he's unknown, how the hell do we know who his family is? Oh well. The church claims he was a blasphemer and anarchist. The root of all evil. Like Barney or Hanna Montanna. But is this the truth? Won't you join me on a journey for the truth? No, seriously, PLEASE come with me! This job is boring and lonely as hell. I haven't been laid in YEARS!
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And that was the first chapter! Please review! Flames will be laughed at and tentacle raped by a Marlboro.
