Life Lessons with the Marauders: Lesson 11- Why God Hates Hermione

Today, we were taking down all of my posters (I'm Prevans) in my room. That means all 152 Harry Potter posters (not an exaggeration, we counted!) We were doing this because we were painting my room, but that is another story. So, sixpacksirius was collecting all my very awesome posters into a pile as I was finishing taking the last of the items on my deck off, when a sign from God appeared.

Now, usually when God wants to show you something he'll perform in a way that only you will understand; something really insignificant. This, my friends, was entirely subtle but anyone with eyes and 2 brain cells could comprehend.

The cross that hangs above my door suddenly, without any provocation, toppled down off the wall and straight into the pile of posters. ( I raced to my beloved posters in shock. The cross had ripped through the topmost picture. Ironically enough, it had torn directly through Hermione's head. When this happened, sixpacksirius and I quickly came to the conclusion of God's burning hatred for Hermione.

Out of the 152 posters, I have less than 10 posters with Hermione on them, and that one just happened to be on top of the pile. Also, I would like to point out that she was rarely in the poster at all. Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Neville were all on that poster too. It landed directly on Hermione's head!!!! Shame it wasn't Ginny…

Moral of the Story: A higher being obviously doesn't want Ron to be with Hermione, so we should all go on believing that he deserves to be with the one he truly deserves, Fluffy. Also! If you, for some uncomprehensible reason, LIKE Hermione, pray to Buddah.


(P.S. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! And happy weekend for everyone outside of the U.S. …)