"An All Dogs Go to Heaven 4th of July Celebration"
A fanfic by: Charlie A. Wolf, originally completed on 7/4/07 (and originally modified on 5/6/12).
Starring (in the order of appearance):
Charles "Charlie" B. Barkin
Itchiford "Itchy" Dachshund
The fireworks vendor's owner
Carface Malone
Killer
Carface's other thugs
Belladonna
Anne-Marie
Annabelle
Chapter I: The Fireworks Vendor.
It's July 4, 1939, the day of the annually long-awaited 4th of July national holiday in the good ole U. S.
of A. Some prefer to stay indoors and simply watch a fireworks show on the newly-improved television,
while others flock by the thousands from all around the nation to see all of the spectacular public
fireworks displays in person. Still, a few others prefer to host their own fireworks show for the pure
enjoyment of sharing it with their fellow friends, family, and neighbors, and Charles B. Barkin is no
exception. This time, we encounter Charlie and his fellow comrade, Itchiford Dachshund, patiently
waiting in line at a local dog-owned fireworks vendor, eager to receive their own choice of fireworks for
themselves. "Are you absolutely sure you know what you're looking for?" questions Itchy to Charlie. In
response, Charlie then replies: "Yes yes yes, I know what I'm gettin', O.K., so just quit your wondering
about it and stop asking me questions, now will ya?" "Well, I thought..." Itchy begins. "Oh, never mind,
'Mr. Stubborn.'" "I am NOT stubborn, Itchy, so stop callin' me that, 'kay?" Charlie commands him,
forcefully.
"Alright now, NEXT!" shouts the vendor's owner out loud. "Finally, I can't WAIT to see the look on
Anne-Marie's face when she sees THIS!" exclaims Charlie joyfully while pointing to a large 20-pound
crate. "It's the last one of its kind in stock and you've got it!" the owner announces to Charlie. "Cool!
Uh... how much for it?" asks Charlie. "$9.50 buys it all, and I'll even throw in an extra 1,500-count roll of
firecrackers with it!" the owner answers. "DEAL!" Charlie snaps, excited as can be, with a smile lighting
up his face. "Here you go." Charlie says, giving the owner a ten-dollar bill. "And, here you go!" the owner
says back, handing over a pair of quarters to Charlie as change. "Thank you very much; oh, Itchy, is the
wagon all set yet?" Charlie remarks. "Just a sec... yep, it's all set and ready to go!" Itchy reveals. Then,
after loading up the wagon with the heavy crate, Charlie and Itchy both head back home towards
Charlie's privately owned and operated junkyard casino with crate in tow, happy as ever, and with both
of their wild imaginations pondering on what a grand and fantastic night awaits for them that evening!
Chapter II: The Fireworks Unveiled.
Running around to the back entrance of Charlie's casino, he enters the building, removes the
fireworks crate from the wagon, places it gently on the ground with a soft "thud", and immediately
begins prying the crate open with a crowbar posthaste. Finally, the crate is opened, and lying inside the
crate is... "5 rolls of 500 firecrackers each, 300 individual firecrackers, 50 multicolored sparklers, 10
parachute fireworks, 5 1,000-shot missile bases, 25 boxes of 50 snappers each, 15 medium-sized
multicolored fountains, 10 dazzling green, gold, and purple rockets, and, to top it ALL off, a large, 20-
shot red, white, and blue-colored mortar 'cake' for the finale!" Charlie announces. "Cool! Boy,
everybody's sure going to love this year's display now, huh Charlie?" exclaims Itchy. "Of course, buddy,
of course!" Charlie replies. "Well, at least they'd better enjoy it, or I'll be SO mad, that I could just..."
"Calm down there, Charlie, calm down." says Itchy, thoughtfully. Just then, they both hear footsteps
outside the back entrance doorway. "Quick, keep whoever's outside busy while I hide the stash, O.K.
now?" Charlie orders Itchy, frantically. "O.K., here goes nothin'!" Itchy denounces. Itchy then slowly
approaches the door, peeks out the keyhole, and sees none other than... CARFACE! "Oh my..." says Itchy
to himself, quietly, and with a little bit of apprehension in his voice as he slowly backs away from the
door.
Chapter III: Carface's Return.
Outside the door, Carface, Killer, and several other of his thugs lay in wait to discuss their new and
100% evil plot behind Charlie's casino; through the door, Itchy overhears them speaking. "So, uh, what's
the plan this time, boss?" questions Killer. "The grand plan this time", Carface responds, "is to 'dognap'
Charlie, strap him down to his own fireworks bundle, and ignite the bundle, making for an astounding
holiday display while sending Charlie to his own demise at the same time!" Carface then laughs
maniacally out loud for a short moment. "Oh, I can just see the simply terrified look on Anne-Marie's
face when she sees her whittle doggie-woggie explode into a million billion pieces!" he exclaims,
happily. "Well then, what are you all waiting for? Go find me Charlie, NOW! Oh, and although I would
like for you all to please keep him alive at all costs, it DOESN'T mean that you may not mess with him a
little bit to ensure the reluctant manipulation of him against his own will, if ya know what I mean."
Carface reminds them all, sternly. "Umm, just a thought, but wouldn't Charlie just go straight back to
Heaven again after he's dead?" asks an anxious Killer. "Well... that doesn't matter; I just want him dead
here, now, period. 'Nough said." answers Carface. Finally, Itchy hears Carface and company's footsteps
fade away into the background, and once he's sure that they've left for good, turns around and tells
Charlie a quickly brief summary of what he had just heard behind the closed door.
Chapter IV: Charlie's Pursuit and Discovery.
"I see." says Charlie to Itchy after being told about yet another evil plot to kill him once again. "Ha ha
ha, why is it that Carface can't just face the fact that he can't keep this good dog down?" Charlie asks,
hysterically. "I dunno, Charlie, but whatever you do about this, you had better do it fast, O.K. buddy?"
assures Itchy. "I know, I know. Hey, do you mind doing me a favor?" Charlie asks. "Sure, pal!" replies
Itchy. "O.K., good! Now listen up: First of all, what time is it?" questions Charlie. Itchy then looks at a
clock nailed onto a nearby wall. "Why, it's almost 7:00 P.M. sharp, and..." Itchy begins to exclaim. "7:00
P.M. already? Itchy, quick, go set up the evening fireworks and have Anne-Marie and some others mess
around with some of the daytime stuff while I deal with Carface and his gang, O.K.? Good, see ya' now!
Bye!" exclaims Charlie, worryingly, and while racing out the door, through the junkyard, and out into
bustling downtown New Orleans to find Carface's whereabouts in the big city.
While Itchy began setting the preparations for tonight's celebration, Charlie follows the scent of
Carface all around New Orleans before stopping at a dead end. "Hey, what gives?" Charlie mutters to
himself. "Their scent is stronger than ever, but there's nothing here but an old brick wall, or IS there?"
Then, Charlie notices something suspicious- a brick sticking out slightly out-of-place. "Hmmm..." Charlie
whispers to himself. He then shoves the brick back into its original slot, thus activating a secret doorway
that leads to Carface's new underground lair. Suddenly, after he slowly creeps inside on all fours, the
door slams behind him, trapping him inside the wall! "Uh-huh, the old trapdoor trick—classic." Charlie
points out to himself. Next, as Charlie stealthily descends the long, eerie, spiral stairwell deeper and
deeper into the bowels of Carface's new hideout, he begins picking up some voices quite some ways
away thanks to his naturally superior hearing abilities.
"So then, is it all set?" asks some unknown and somewhat-familiar female voice in the distance. "Yep,
all set. The only thing were missing now is the old mutt himself, Charlie B. Barkin!" answers Carface.
"Excellent; oh, and when you finally find him, make sure and bring Chucky STRAIGHT to me first and
posthaste, understand? I'd like to have a quick word with our 'old friend'!" orders the unidentified
female. "Sure thing miss!" Carface responds. Much to his dismay, Charlie begins to hear multiple
footsteps approaching the bottom of the stairwell. "Oh no, not NOW!" Charlie thinks to himself. Just
then, he gets an idea after noticing a small rock next to his right foot (or, more specifically, right hind
paw, for he IS currently standing on only two legs now instead of four...), and, without any further
hesitation, immediately throws it down the passageway before him. "What the?" Carface shouts out,
surprised. "Quick, it looks as if someone is on to us now!" says the female voice. Charlie then thinks to
himself, "That, that voice..., it's really beginning to sound familiar now." Now, with the footsteps
approaching from just around the corner, Charlie has no choice than to fight it out here and now. He
leaps down the stairs (once again on all fours), jumps on top of Carface's head, causes confusion, and
hightails it out of there down into the main "lobby" of their hidden lair. Sadly, he doesn't immediately
notice the female figure standing tall next to Carface quite clearly in this attempt. Nonetheless, Charlie
keeps running and running as fast as he can through the new, unknown territory until crashing headfirst
into the chest of a large, intimidating Great Dane. "Ow!" shouts Charlie out loud. "Where do ya' think
YOU'RE going, punk?" rhetorically questions the big dog. Next, unfortunately, the mutt picks Charlie up
by the throat using both arms, off the ground, and alerts everybody else in the room to his presence. As
Charlie struggles to escape, but to no avail, he turns around and witnesses the slender female silhouette
emerge from the shadows, laughing her own maniacally evil laugh, revealing herself to be none other
than... BELLADONNA!
Chapter V: Charlie's Capture and Temporary Incarceration.
"Belladonna! I just KNEW it was you, you diabolical fiend, you! I mean, come on, first you go after
Christmas, and now you're trying to sabotage the 4th of July as well! I mean, what's with it with you and
holidays anyway? Do you hate them or something? What's next? New Year's? Valentine's Day? Easter?
My birthday? Halloween? Thanksgiving?" exclaims Charlie. "All excellent suggestions! Oh, and back to
the first question that you asked, EXACTLY!" replies the evil mistress. "And YOU are going to be a
reluctant part of it! Now then, Carface, be a dear for me and tie up this wretched little whelp!" "Yes
ma'am, certainly!" Carface responds. However, Charlie is definitely NOT going down without a fight, so
he instantly kicks the Dane holding him in the gut, causing it to stagger backwards and subsequently
release him, before he soon goes after Carface. Just when he is about to lunge Carface, though, he feels
a searing pain go through his spine as Belladonna retaliates with a large, metal bat loaded with spikes
around its exterior and with ten thousand volts of pure electrical current flowing throughout it. "YEOW!"
Charlie screams as he winces in pain from the powerful attack. He lies there, stunned and temporarily
defenseless, as another large dog, this one being a Doberman pinscher, comes over and handcuffs
Charlie's forearms while yet ANOTHER dog, a Rottweiler, shackles his hind legs together, before finally
dumping him inside an underground jail cell for hostages. Then, as a final blow, Killer comes along and
places a remote-control operated electrical collar (of which Belladonna has complete control over)
around Charlie's neck before eventually being ordered by Belladonna and Carface to lock up the cell
door and keep a keen eye on him while the rest of their evil band goes out to check on Charlie's
fireworks and (hopefully) capture Itchy too if they can.
As they leave, Belladonna quickly demonstrates the powerful effects of a remotely-operated five
thousand-volt electric collar on poor Charlie for all to see, and laughs maniacally in sync with one
another as they all bear witness to the injured Charlie yelping about in pain in his cramped prison cell.
"Aw, what a big puppy-of-a-dog if I've ever seen one; he can't even handle a little bit of pain! And to
think that THIS was the business partner I once had... HOW PATHETIC!" Carface remarks menacingly.
Once they leave, Charlie begins to persuade Killer to let him go so he can go and "save the holiday" by
making sure no one is endangered by Belladonna's wicked league of evildoers. "Come on, Killer old
buddy old pal, what do ya say, huh?" Charlie pleads to Killer, while smiling at him with the face of a
begging puppy. "Uh, I don't know, if I seemingly betray them and all, they might just murder ME as well
as you!" Killer tells Charlie, and with great uncertainty. "But Killer, I know that you may seem that they
all care about you, but inside their truly black-colored hearts, they actually couldn't care less about your
well-being any more than they would mine. Besides, I know that somewhere deep down inside your
heart, you are a very good dog with a good mind, and if you can help get me out of this whole mess
together, then I'll give you an upper-class employee position over at my place, O.K.? I promise." Charlie
reveals back to Killer. Killer, now with a tear in his eye, then replies: "Why, you betcha I will! Now then, if
I can just unlock this door and... VOILA! You're free to go, sonny!" "Thanks a lot, pal; I couldn't have
asked for more from a great, trustworthy dog who almost ALWAYS does the right thing in the end!"
Charlie praises to him.
Surprisingly, after Killer helps to remove Charlie's handcuffs, shackles, and collar, Charlie sees Itchy
standing at the foot of the stairwell out of here. After Charlie asks Itchy how he found him, why he came
back, and whether or not the fireworks are all set and ready to go, together he and Itchy are just about
to leave the place immediately when Killer suddenly says: "Hey! Before we leave, we really should check
out Belladonna and Carface's secretly concealed weapons vault and arm ourselves just in case we might
need to, well, you know, assassinate a few bad guys here and there!" Then, after arming themselves
with some tough sets of body armor, fully-automatic sub-machine guns, additional ammunition, combat
knives, and even a few illegally-produced grenades every now-and-then, plus a trio of portable walkie-
talkies to accompany them as well, they all set out and hurry on back to Charlie's casino once more for a
final showdown between heroes and villains alike.
Chapter VI: The Showdown
By the time Charlie and company finally reach the casino, they realize that the casino is under
temporary lockdown and that Anne-Marie (once again) has been kidnapped and is being held for
ransom inside the top (third) floor of the casino's main building. "Oh no, Charlie, they've got Anne-Marie
somewhere inside the big building; what're we gonna' do now?" asks a worrisome Itchy. "Not Anne-
Marie AGAIN (hey, you have to admit, she's practically a kidnapper-magnet)! O.K. now, guys, I've got an
idea on how to free her. Killer, you blast the heavily-barricaded door open A.S.A.P. with some
explosives; once you've accomplished that, you then guard the perimeter and make sure that the
premises remains void of any civilians until further orders, understand?" commands Charlie. "Sir, yes
Sir!" replies Killer, excitedly. "Oh, and Itchy, you cover my rear once we enter the main complex as soon
as Killer clears the entrance, understand?" "Aye-aye, captain!" replies a thrilled Itchy. (And, yes, he's
ALWAYS wanted to say THAT particular line!) Just then, a pair of grenades goes off at the entrance,
blowing away or completely incinerating the barricades immediately. After Charlie and Itchy thank Killer,
he wishes them the very best of luck as they run into the main lobby. "Huh, no sign of Anne-Marie so
far...; quick, Itchy, you, me, second floor, NOW!" orders Charlie to Itchy, forcefully, after realizing Anne-
Marie's absence on the first/main floor. Shorty following Charlie and Itchy's entrance onto the second
floor, Killer radios in to Charlie that he sees what appears to be the Great Dane, Doberman Pinscher, and
Rottweiler from Charlie's encounter earlier that evening, with fireworks beginning to go off in the
distance. Charlie then tells Killer to fire at will whenever he feels threatened in any way, thus living up to
the full potential of his namesake; he and Itchy hear some faint gunfire coming from outside, followed
by dogs howling, crying, yelping, and cursing. "They're all dead now." Killer chimes in on Charlie and
Itchy's walkie-talkies. "Good, serves them right for aligning themselves with the dark side." Charlie
radios back. Eventually, after discovering no Anne-Marie on the second floor either, Charlie then
comments: "Hmmm, no Anne-Marie here, either... We'll keep searching; to the third (and private) floor,
ONWARD!" Charlie discloses to the other two via radio transmissions.
Finally, Charlie and Itchy reach the pinnacle of the casino, the secretly-located private quarters of
owner and proprietor Charles B. Barkin himself, the legendary third floor! However, their brief
celebration is cut short when they uncover the unfortunate fact that the door is locked. "Darn that evil
Belladonna and Carface couple, I'll kill 'em!" remarks Charlie furiously. He then remembers his grenades,
of which he has three of, and immediately blows the door open. "Oh well... it was about time that door
needed replacement anyway." Charlie says, slightly irritated by the very minor loss. "Look Charlie, it's
Anne-Marie!" shouts out an overly-relieved Itchy. "He shoots, he SCORES!" yells out Charlie, highly
overjoyed by Anne-Marie's presence in this room. "No, Charlie, stop! It's a TRAP!" shouts Anne-Marie
out loud to Charlie. Charlie, however, refuses to believe the fact that it is one, when suddenly,
Belladonna suddenly appears out of nowhere and picks up and throws Charlie with her demonic
strength clear across the room into of his many personal bedroom slot machines as Carface snatches a
lighter from off Charlie's nightstand and immediately lights a long, slow-burning wick connected to the
large fireworks stash that Charlie bought earlier that day, and with Anne-Marie situated right on top of it
all! "How did he even escape in the first place; Killer, that old traitor, I simply KNEW we could never trust
him 100%, EVER!" screams a furiously demanding Belladonna. "Don't worry ma'am, Charlie is now
knocked unconscious due to the impact of the collision he had with his own slot machine, and Carface is
just about to give him a lethal neck-bite when Itchy suddenly opens fire with his primary firearm, killing
Carface instantly while saving Charlie's life in the process. "Oh, Carface! Why you little...!" begins
Belladonna, now EXTREMELY angry at Itchy. He then begins to open fire on her, but sadly runs out of
ammunition and needs to reload his now-empty weapon.
Belladonna keenly takes advantage of this rare moment and immediately grabs the weapons from
Itchy's hands and armor slots/pockets, throws them away, and is about to squeeze the life out of poor
Itchy throat when amazingly, Killer rushes in out of nowhere and gives Belladonna a painful uppercut to
the jaw, removing Itchy from her oft-tenuous grasp at the same time, thus saving his life in the process.
"Now I'm not the one to hit females, but when they threaten a fellow dog's life, a will certainly do so
without any farther thought!" explains Killer. Belladonna then recovers from the blow quite quickly and
is just about to assault Killer when she soon notices a now-conscious Charlie about to put out the fuse,
which was now just past its halfway point to utter detonation. "I don't think so!" shouts Belladonna,
who then kicks Charlie out of the way and away from Anne-Marie's active fuse flame. She then turns
over to face Killer, who is just about to throw a grenade at her, when she steals the grenade from him,
the pin having already been pulled, throws it back in between both Killer and Itchy, and tragically sends
each of them on a one-way trip to Heaven. With time running out for Anne-Marie and his only active
allies permanently out of commission, Charlie fights back the tears and keeps his broken emotions inside
while charging after Belladonna, whom he soon engages with in a one-on-one death match shortly
afterwards. As Anne-Marie weeps heavily for the two dogs that she also loved and cared for now being
nothing but KIA, Charlie, after receiving quite a few bloody wounds courtesy of an enraged Belladonna,
including a broken right hind leg and a partially-severed tail as well as many other numerous injuries,
finally defeats Belladonna while she's in her down-time with a single, swift bite to the throat (he lost all
of his other weapons and armor during the heat of the battle).
However, Charlie's victory celebration is short-lived, as he suddenly remembers to stop the burning
fuse which is just about to go off in a mere six seconds! Then only five! Then four! Three! Two! One!
Charlie then leaps on the fuse just a moment too late as a huge "KABOOM" fills the otherwise-peaceful
night sky. But wait, what's this? Charlie is STILL ALIVE, and so is Anne-Marie, too! How could this be? The
miraculous answer: Just as the explosion was about to occur, Annabelle came along and shielded both
Charlie and Anne-Marie from the main blast; this temporary process also healed Charlie completely as
well. "Thank you, Annabelle, for saving our lives; we will always be in debt to you for that from now on!"
says Charlie. "Me too!" mentions Anne-Marie. "Oh, no need to mention it, guys, Charlie is the real hero
here! He tried to save your life, Anne-Marie, to the very best of his abilities. However, when I detected
that his spirit was at an all-time high in the 'stress and worry' category, I immediately rushed in to help;
if Charlie had been any more relaxed in that state of mind than he was then, I probably would not have
even arrived to your aid." replies Annabelle, humbly. "Oh… well thanks a lot for that then, Annabelle!
And Charlie, I love you!" Anne-Marie tells Charlie, before lightly kissing him on the cheek. "Aw, it was
nothin' really outstanding; too bad I won't be able to show you now, for all of the fireworks that I bought
for you are gone for good..." Charlie exclaims with a sigh. "I think that I can fix that small extravagant
earthly little problem, now can't I? Oh, and here are your two friends as well, by the way!" says
Annabelle, who then gives both Itchy and Killer and second chance at life, as well as giving all four of
them a very important, 4th of July-related promise, too. After Itchy and Killer give Charlie their thanks
and everyone has had the chance to say their goodbyes to Annabelle, she does the same to them before
heading back into Heaven once more.
Chapter VII: The End of It All.
"I, uh, hope you're insurance agency covers all of this devastation, Charlie." questions a deeply
remorseful Killer as he peers over the large, gaping hole in the side of the casino's northern wall. "Oh,
they do, and they will." assures Charlie in earnest response. "There must have been a few grenades in
there, anyhow, to cause all of that, ya know?" questions Itchy. "Agreed, although I can't completely
verify your theory there, buddy." replies Charlie. "Hey, look, guys, up in the sky! It must be Annabelle's
promise!" shouts a very joyful Anne-Marie. "It must be... it is!" Charlie responds, gazing into the newly-
lit night sky full of the color and beauty of supernatural mortar shells going off in the open air. After the
display finally ends (say a good 30 minutes or so), after Charlie thanks Annabelle for fulfilling her
promise in an unbelievably unprecedentedly heavenly manner, after Charlie keeps his promise to Killer
by making him his own personally official "advertising dog and co-partner of Charlie's Place next to
Itchy", and as all four of them are walking over to a nearby hotel to sleep at for the next several
upcoming days Charlie's Place slowly undergoes repairs to its large bedroom area, Anne-Marie gives
Charlie a big bear hug and tells him: "Thanks for the cool show tonight, Charlie; it was the best ever!"
Charlie then wraps the night up with the smartest response-comment of the day: "Oh, PUH-LEASE, if you
thought that THIS year's display was phenomenal, you just wait until you see NEXT year's!"
The End! ^-^
