Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or the song lyrics to Never Far Behind. They belong, respectively, to Suzanne Collins, and Aly and AJ.
This is from Gale's point of view, the moments that Katniss and Peeta returned to District 12 after winning the 74th Games. Song lyrics are italicized; Gale's thoughts are both italicized and surrounded with slashes, /like so/.
This songfic is dedicated to EnjoyEveryMoment, our beautifully gifted Cassandra, who will hopefully read this before she leaves Fanfiction for good. Enjoy it, Cassiel. Every second that I wrote this, I was thinking of you.
Song: Never Far Behind, Aly and AJ
There is only one thought on my mind as the train pulls into District 12 again. Posy's hand in mine is a distant detail to my thoughts; I don't feel Vick and Rory as they stand next to me. Even the hopeful faces of Mrs. Everdeen and Prim don't stir anything in me. Which is a good thing, I suppose, because the only thing on my mind right now happens to be stirring up a maelstrom of emotions that- if I don't keep a tight rein on them- will probably knock me flat on my face.
/Katniss./
After everything she's been through, the only thought that will register in my mind is that she's coming back. My little Catnip is a Hunger Games victor. I always knew that she could do it. Of course, this year, they also let the boy come back. Peeta Mellark, the baker's son. But he doesn't matter- not now, at least. Surely I can let that go, what with Katniss being here. Alive.
But I am in for a surprise when the train doors open. The cameras start to swarm around the exits. My heart thuds faster and faster with every second; I can just barely make out Effie Trinket's bright pink hair as she bobs through the paparazzi. /Come on, come on… any second now…/
Then the cameras part to let us through, and I see Katniss, and I am in shock.
For the most part, she looks unchanged. Same dark hair, braided down her back the way that it always is. I've felt the braid enough when we were hunting in the woods, pressed together in some tree and waiting for the fence to shut off or a pack of wild dogs to grow bored. Those bright gray eyes, the ones that sparkle so when she gifts me a rare smile outside the fence. Strong, capable limbs that can scurry up a tree faster than a squirrel can. For a second, I can hardly control the giddy rush of happiness that floods my limbs at the sight of her, back here, alive and well. But then I start to notice the differences.
Those are her eyes, yes, Katniss' gray eyes, but in them I can see the shadows of guilt and doubt that were never there before. Her expression is as reserved as ever, yet between the lines there are clear signs of regret and remorse. Then my eyes fall on her right hand. It is entwined with that of another, and at the sight of it, some feeling in me starts to bristle. Catnip is holding hands with Peeta Mellark. And the way that they do it, it looks as if they both dread the moment when they will let go.
/What have you done to her?/ I ask him with my eyes, staring at him, but he does not seem to want to meet anyone's gaze right now.
They kissed so many times in the arena, but I assumed that it was all a ploy, a strategy to try to win the convoluted hearts of all the rich Capitol sops who were sponsoring them. But they're out now, and they're still together. Holding hands is a small gesture, and I know it shouldn't be bothering me this much, but the protective way that his hand cups hers, the desperate clench of their fingers, sets something off that the kissing never did. And when they were kissing, I didn't ever see the shadows that haunt Katniss now.
"Your cousins can hardly wait to see you!" Mrs. Everdeen exclaims, and Katniss turns to us with a smile. But it's forced. Confused. She doesn't know that they've planned to show my family as the Everdeens' cousins. Katniss catches on fast, though, and lets go of Peeta to embrace Prim. She accepts excited hugs from Rory and Posy, and the arm that she places around Vick is positively familial…
/But it's not you./
As Katniss turns to face me, the faintest threads of a song- one I've heard somewhere that I can't even remember- start to echo through my mind.
I know this really isn't you,
I know your heart is somewhere else
And I'll do anything I can
To help you break out of this spell
Katniss opens her mouth and her lips form my name. "Gale," she whispers, almost tripping over herself to reach me. I tense slightly. This isn't the graceful, balanced Katniss that I know. Something heavy is bothering her- and unless I find out and help her, I won't be able to live with myself. Her eyes are liquid and soft when she looks at me, and I find my own expression relaxing, gentling when she falls into my ready embrace. Everything would be right, except for the one small detail that I notice while her head settles into my chest. She is trying hard to show some sort of cousinly affection for the cameras. Underneath the expression, though, she is trembling so hard that I'm afraid she'll break into a million pieces right there in front of me.
I see you following your crowd,
I know you're trying to fit in
But if you're gonna find yourself,
You gotta start from deep, deep within
I tighten my arms around her. I don't want to let go of her. If I do, then she'll disappear again. Back to that boy, Peeta, and the Capitol world of stylists and cameras and lights. I know that what she's doing is necessary; that if she doesn't, then President Snow will most likely force her into compliance anyways. I still can't let her go. If she does, then I will too- and hopefully I can remind her along the way of just where she came from. /You don't need to change for anybody, Katniss. You were always the most beautiful thing before they came into our lives./ Maybe I can help her by bringing her back to the life that we shared before the Capitol intruded.
Hold on to what you believe
I can't force her into doing anything she doesn't want to do, though. The doubt starts to uneasily worm through my mind. Perhaps this is what she wants… but I can't judge her. I have no right to judge her. I can only stand by her and hope for the best… right?
I will always be your friend
I know who you are inside
I am with you till the end
Never far behind
Katniss takes a step back, and I manage to let her out of my grasp. Her eyes are like windows; in them, I can see everything that I've ever known and loved in her. /I know you./ I know her better than Peeta ever will. And while I feel that he loves her enough to protect her, I think that I love her more. No matter what, I won't demand her affection. I won't force kisses from her that she regrets. I will always stand by her, no matter what she does to hurt me. I will always be her friend.
And no matter what happens, I will never leave her.
Peeta comes up to her and puts an arm around her, which makes my heart clench. But I don't move. Katniss will realize it eventually. And then everything will be all right.
I am standing in the distance
You can take your time
And I will be here waiting
Never far behind, yeah
Never far behind
They look happy together. Yet I know Katniss, and I know that she'll come to her senses eventually. Peeta seems like a nice boy, but he'll only hurt her in the end. I won't do that. And when he does, I will be there for her to lean on. Waiting. Always, always waiting.
I am sending you a message,
Don't ever think that it's too late
When you care about someone
There is always room for change
Peeta looks up at me and I attempt to smile back. If he's the boy that Katniss loves, then I can make some changes to try and like him too. Right? His sincere gaze grates on my emotions, though. He really does care for her.
/I care about her more./ When I find myself competing, I shake my head at myself slightly. I stare hard at Katniss, willing her to understand. She doesn't get it now. But it will never be too late.
You're allowed to make mistakes
It's a part of every life
I don't see you any different
The truth is shining in your eyes
Underneath the Capitol impressions, she's still Katniss. I can sense it, even as Peeta leans in and brushes a light kiss on her lips. The truth lights up her eyes in the relief that shows when her mother steps in to break the two of them apart.
Hold on to what you believe
But is this really what she wants, or is it all a game?
I will always be your friend
I know who you are inside
I am with you till the end
Never far behind
I am standing in the distance
You can take your time
And I will be here waiting
Never far behind, yeah
Never far behind
Even though she stands there with her arm wrapped around Peeta, I can't turn my back on her now. That would be the worst betrayal of all. I can't leave her alone, though I'm sure that it will hurt me a thousand times more than it will hurt her. /I'll never leave you, Katniss./ Pressing her into loving me just because I love her would be wrong.
You can take your time
And I know
With all my heart
She can take all the time she needs to sort out her feelings. I will help her every step of the way.
I will always be your friend
I know who you are inside
I am with you till the end
Never far behind
After all, I'm the one who knows her best. She is my hunting partner, my best friend. I can't just leave her out in the cold, not when she's probably going to need me the most. I stand behind the cameras as she is swept away by the wave of Capitol attendants. I can just barely see her and Peeta. But my heart is cast close to her, and it always will be. They might destroy any chance I had at her loving me, but I can still love her. And they can never take away our friendship.
I am standing in the distance
You can take your time
And I will be here waiting, waiting by my side
God is never far behind
For every two steps that they take into life, I will follow them. But I will only take one. I'll be there, but I won't press them into anything that she doesn't believe in. There, but not there. Never far behind.
/I will always be your friend, Katniss./
And as they leave, swallowed up by the crowd, that is the only thought that registers in my mind.
I am sending you a message…
Cassie, we love you, and we will always be your friends. Good luck to you, wherever you go, and make the best of your life!
We'll all miss you a lot, but we know that your future is very bright.
I hope you all enjoyed!
-Ace
