Title: Hot Pink Explosives.

Words: Um…

Pairings: Not really any…

Summary: Side story to 'Voices'. Sam get's his first mission, though Jazz has a little dare, er, 'Secondary mission' for him.

A/N's: You might need to read 'Voices' for some of this to make sense… I'm not quite sure.

--

Sam peered nervously around the corner, looking for any signs of life. He, a previously eighteen-year-old human boy turned Cybertronian holder of the mightiest artifact A.K.A. the All Spark, was in the 'secret' Decepticon base. And not for the reasons expected. You know, the Decepticons had captured him and were planning various forms of torture to harness the All Spark energy- Sam shuddered slightly, stopping that thought before it could get too far, before slowly slinking into the next hallway after being sure there was no Decepticons.

He, out of all people, had been the one selected for the special ops mission of sneaking into the 'secret' base and setting explosives. Though, that was only one of his missions. The 'Official' mission.

Sam jumped, immediately ducking into a storage closet as he heard footsteps echoing down the hall. He cursed loudly in his head, praying to God, Primus, and whatever other Deity might like him that whoever was walking down the hallway didn't need something from in here. Jazz had somehow managed to get blueprints to the base, and Sam had spent almost every second of his spare time before the mission had started looking over the map, which is why he knew that this room was too tiny for him to hide were someone to come in, and that there was no other way out. He blew a (quiet) sigh of relief when the footsteps passed by the door, gradually fading off. He waited about twenty seconds -"Remember to wait a few seconds before wiggling out your hidey hole, kid." Jazz advised, minutes before he headed to the Decepticon base. "Or they might still be in hearing distance. But don't wait too long, or they're liable to come back."- before he tentatively walked out of the small room.

Sam remembered his surprise when he was picked for this mission.

--

Flashback.

--

Sam knocked on the door, a deep "Come in." immediately replying.

"Uh, you wanted to see me?" He said as soon as he was in the office.

Optimus smiled kindly at him, sensing his tension. Well, he couldn't help it. Even though he was well over twice his original height, he was still only about half the height of the larger mech. (A/N He's about 15 feet tall.) He was now very close to Bee's height. Now that he though about it, his build was also eerily similar to the yellow scout… He tried to hide his blush and concentrate on what Optimus was saying instead of thinking about what Sparkplug said when he had mentioned the eerie similarity.

--

Flashback in a flashback.

--

"Hey, Sparkplug?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do I look so much like Bumblebee?"

"Well, I had to model you after something, and he was the closest and was around the most often. Besides, it makes you more… hehe, compatible."

He had said that last part with such a lecherous grin that it had made Sam's usually pale face turn a dark red.

--

End flashback in a flashback.

--

"I have a mission for you."

Well, that certainly brought him back to reality. "Excuse me sir?"

"A mission. I need you to sneak into the Decepticon base and set explosives. It will be a big enough blow that it should prevent them from attacking us for a while."

He felt his eyes, er, optics widen and he could of sworn he saw Optimus fighting a smile at the utterly bewildered expression that was no doubt on his face. "…Uh… shouldn't Jazz be doing this? Or Bumblebee? I've heard they've had a lot of experience in that area."

"No can do. Ratchet has threatened any and all officers with bodily harm if we dare put him back on the duty roster, and threatened Jazz himself with physical and mental harm if he was, as Ratchet put it, 'Fraggin' stupid enough to go along with it'. He says it's too dangerous to put him back on active duty so soon after he was brought back to life."

It's been three months. Sam thought before saying, "What about 'Bee?" He immediately snapped his mouth shut. It's not that he wanted to send his best friends into danger, but this was an important mission, and he knew if he went he'd screw it up.

"He's previously engaged."

"But I have no experience in this type of thing, I'll screw it up."

"Au contraire." -Damn you French films. Sam thought sourly - "I believe you'd be perfect for the job. Primus Sam, you even managed to sneak up on Red Alert which, trust me, is not an easy thing to do."

He nearly groaned. He remembered that. Sparkplug had gotten bored and had somehow convinced Sam it would be fun to see if they could sneak up on the overly-paranoid Security Director. It had actually been sorta funny to see him fritz. Though, the thorough verbal thrashing they had gotten from Ratchet afterwards was not. Sam sighed. "What do I have to do?"

"Place explosives on these generators." Prime started explaining, pointing to three boldly marked X's on a map. "It'll take out their scanners, shields, and detainment cells, just in case."

The meeting had gone like that for over an hour, Optimus telling him everything he needed to know about the mission.

He barely refrained from sighing in relief when he (finally) got out of the oppressive (In his opinion) office. Thank you God.

"Hey Sam."

Damn.

"Yeah Jazz?"

Said mech smirked at him. "I have a little dare, er, 'secondary mission', for you while you're in the base…"

--

End flashback.

--

And like a damned fool he had taken the 'secondary mission'. Which meant that he had to run to that room after setting the explosives then running like the Devil himself were chasing him before they exploded and knocked out the counter-scanner/shield/whatever the hell Prowl called it, that prevented the Decepticons scans from picking him up. After he took out the generator for the base's scans, it wouldn't have really mattered if the counter-scanner/shield/whatever the hell Prowl called it died, except each Decepticon had his own personal scanner that wasn't nearly as strong as the base's scanner but was still quite capable of finding him.

Damn, damn, and double damn. Sam cursed in his head. Where the hell is that room?!

Third door on the right genius. Sparkplug said sarcastically, in a tone Sam had come to realize Sparkplug only used when he was very, very tired.

Go to sleep now, Dipstick. You don't want to miss all the action later.

Sparkplug muttered something he didn't catch before his mind was quiet, Sparkplug's 'Holoform' undoubtedly slipped into recharge. He went into the door Sparkplug had suggested, smiling and vaguely surprised that it was actually the right room. He got a brief vibe from Sparkplug, no actual words, that basically translated into 'Of course I'm right.'

Sam's optics flickered in a way that was as close to an eye-roll as he could get. He placed the smallish box down on the nearby table, immediately jumping up, latching onto the curiously opened air vent that he knew would lead him out of the base.

:Mission complete. Heading out now.:

:Cool. You get our little 'secondary mission' done?: Jazz asked.

:Yes.:

:Oh, boy, he's going to be pissed once he sees what you left for him, Sammy.: Bumblebee, whose schedule had mysteriously cleared after he had already gotten into the base, chuckled. :Ah, pit. Recent change to the map.: 'Bee added, his voice suddenly serious. :Apparently somebody got bored and ended up exploding a few rooms. Your original route is now totally blocked.:

Damn, damn, and double damn. Sam thought, trying to stop ice-cold panic that went through him. He only had enough time to learn the way to the generators and that room. :What do I do? I don't know any other ways out.:

:Which is why we're here for you.: Jazz said encouragingly.

:We'd never abandon you, Sam. Aha! You see, I've already found you another way out. Just give me a second… there, just sent it to you.: Bumblebee said.

Five minutes later, Sam was outside sitting beside his two best (Cybertronian) friends, watching as parts of the base exploded.

"You remember to do it?" Jazz asked.

"Leaving the box, or hacking into the cameras?"

"Both."

"Yep."

"This is gonna be sweet."

--

The pathetically few Earth-Bound Autobots sat around the conference table, watching the recordings of several video cameras Jazz had managed to hack into at the Decepticon base. They were reviewing his mission, seeing if he had a future in this with Jazz and Bumblebee, or if he was going to go into one of the various other possible positions. (Though the fact that he wasn't even seen probably gained quite a few points in his favor.)

The recordings blacked out, the cameras having been destroyed in the explosion that took out the generators and parts of the base.

"Okay, well-" Optimus started. The sudden flicker of the screen turning back on interrupted him. Everyone watched in interest as Starscream stomped across his room, muttering something too low for the camera to catch.

"Primus-Forsaken slaggers- what the frag is that?" He stopped, glaring at the seemingly innocent box sitting on the table.

Sam, Jazz, and Bumblebee smirked when Starscream picked up the box, reading the words off the top.

"To: Starscream. From: The Auto-" He immediately dropped the offending box, backing away.

Bad move. The three (Four if you count the recently woken Sparkplug. No way in hell was he missing this!) coconspirators thought. The box's lid flung off, dust filling the room.

"What-" Hack. "-The-" Hack. Hack. Cough. "FRAG?!" Cough. Cough. Choke. Hack.

The dust settled, leaving a- WHAT THE HELL?!

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker fell out their chairs, laughing uproariously at the sight of the Hot Pink seeker.

"Soundwave! Get in here!"

The aforementioned mech immediately appeared, not seeming to notice, or care, about his leader's new paint job. "Yes?"

"Paint. Now."

"Negative."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'NEGATIVE'?!"

"Scanners indicate that this paint will eat at any paint you put over it."

Growl. "Fine, I'll go to the wash rack-"

"Negative. Non-washable paint."

"Then how do you suggest I get this FRAGGIN' STUFF OFF ME!"

"Wait until it wears off."

Twitch. Twitch. "And how long will that take?"

"Approximately one to two Earth months."

The seeker's jaw dropped, the leader stunned speechless.

"I take it now would not be a good time to tell you that they put the same substance in the explosives on the generator, turning half the base pink?"

"Who-." Shuddering breath as he tried to reign in his temper. "Who else was turned pink?"

"No one, Lord Starscream."

The sarcastic bot lived up to his name, the shrill scream so loud some even claimed they could hear it all the way over at the Autobot base.

--

End. Yes, ending did seem kinda cut off, but I've had too much coffee, too little sleep, and I'm sick. So, G'Night. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

By the way, I was thinking about a second chapter for this. Yes or no?