Arthur leaned back in his armchair, fingers slacking and dropping the china teacup. It shattered on the floor, but the Brit took no heed. He was fumbling with the tie around his neck, uncomfortably hot all of a sudden.
"W-what the bloody hell's wrong with me?" He muttered, throwing the black piece of cloth to the floor, and then proceeded to unbutton his jacket. Once that was also on the floor, he leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling, eyebrows furrowed. Was frog face up to something, or was he just ill? Probably the former…
Without his realising it, his hands had started unbuttoning his shirt, too. Well, he didn't mind, anything to cool him down. Maybe he should open a few windows?
He stood, his shirt joining the tie and jacket on the floor, and walked over to the window, pieces of teacup crunching under his shoes. He reached up, having to stand on his tip-toes to reach the latch, and pulled the window inwards, but with a little more force than intended. The wooden frame hit his head, sending him teetering backwards. He tripped, fell splayed on the floor, and groaned loudly. His vision was blurring slightly, but that wasn't what bothered him. The fact he couldn't feel any pain, and the burning heat all over his body was what was bothering him.
And then the doorbell rang.
He cursed, and went to push himself up, but his arms couldn't hold him up. So instead of going to answer it himself, he called for his faithful companion.
"Mint bunny, where are you?" His voice was husky, and clearing his throat didn't help…
"Yes, Sir England?" He turned to look at his supposedly 'imaginary' friend, and smiled.
"Could you go and open the door for me, old chap?" The rabbit nodded happily, and left the room, humming a tune he didn't know the name of. He tried once more to lift himself from the floor, but his efforts were fruitless, and he collapsed to the floor again. He stared up at the ceiling, and let out a heavy sigh. There was no doubt in his mind that France was the one to blame for this, that he was the one at the door. After all, molesting a Nation would be easy if they couldn't even sit up…
"Wow, how cool is that? The door opened itself!" So it was America, eh? Great… Well, at least it wasn't one of the Axis powers…
"Hey Iggy, I think you're house is haunted or something!"
"Don't call me that!" He had meant for his tone to be strong and commanding, but he sounded, even in his own ears… so… so…
Aroused…
"That bloody frog face has been up to something, hasn't he!" He growled. Who else could reduce him to such a state? And he sounded just like the blond pervert!
A tickle on his cheek brought him back to reality. He smiled lightly at the small fairy stood beside him, touching his cheek with a look of concern on her face.
"Are you ok, sir England?" She asked. Her voice was high and squeaky, just like her fairy companions, who were stood behind her, holding hands nervously. A pink unicorn also walked in, asking the same question.
"I'm not sure; I think France has been up to something…" The fairies glowered at the name, sharing his hate for the flirtatious Nation. The Pink Unicorn settled behind him, resting it's head on his naked torso.
And then they disappeared.
England blinked, looking around the room in confusion.
"Hey, sorry dude, I got-" He looked towards the doorway, seeing a blond man looking straight at him in confusion.
"Who the bloody hell are you?"
"Arthur, are you ok?"
"Answer my question!"
"I'm America, the Hero, of course!" He grinned, flashing his pearly whites and pointing in England's direction. A hamburger was produced from thin air, and he took a bite out of it.
"What are you doing here?" America looked hurt, dropping the burger and shuffling over.
"You said you'd take me out for a McDonalds today!" He whined, plopping down beside him.
"Hey, why are you half naked anyway?"
"I don't know… Hey, could you take me upstairs, I'm really tired…" America stared at him, but hesitantly slipped an arm around the older Nation and pulling him into a standing position. He bent down, slipped an arm behind his knees, and carried him bridal style, grinning like a fool.
"See, I really am a Hero!"
"Hurry up, will you?" He grumbled, gripping the brown leather of America's jacket. "The sooner we get to the bedroom the better!" America flushed, realising that he really has been spending too much time with France recently.
"Iggy! That sounded so dirty!"
"You must want it to be dirty, then…"
"Pervert!"
"Your fault" England yawned, snuggling into the 'Hero', who had started towards the staircase. Then a 'Brilliant' idea popped up in his head. It was risky, but Heroes always took risks, right? And it might stop England being so mean to him all the time…
"Hey England, what if I did want it to be dirty?"
"…I wasn't serious about that…" But his cheeks were a darker pink than they had been when America found him on the floor. His whole body felt too hot, actually…
"So?" Then his arms slacked, and England fell to the floor with a thud. America was atop him in seconds, blue eyes gazing into green.
"Oops" He muttered, looking serious for once in his life.
"I said into the bedroom, boy" England growled, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"The bedroom can wait" America purred, nibbling on his ear playfully.
…
France crept through the door of Arthur's house, a huge grin on his face. If everything had gone to plan, England would be collapsed on the floor of his living room, weak and defenceless. At last, he would get what he wanted!
"Caterpillar sourcils, où êtes-vous? (Caterpillar brows, where are you?)" He peered into the living room, seeing discarded clothes, broken china, but no Arthur… It was obvious he'd finished the tea, so there was no way he could've…
He tip toed up the stairs, careful not to alert his prey of his presence. But when he saw the all too familiar leather jacket outside the bedroom door, he knew why England wasn't where he should've been…
His eyes sparkled; he chuckled his annoying French chuckle, and then sauntered down the stairs.
"I'll have to spike Arthur's tea again sometime~!"
