Ryoga's confidence
My whole life I grew up with people telling me it was bad and wrong. I had grownup believing in that. But now my views have changed. I can't see why people made such a big fuss over it anyways now. It wasn't like recovering from surgery, and it wasn't like it was excruciatingly painful. It didn't even make you feel miserable. I know there were other ways of doing it but I kind of had an interest in this method. Again, it didn't hurt. In fact it was kinda exhilarating.
I'm glad I picked a night when my roommate would be out all night with his girlfriend. It would have been so embarrassing to have my strong roommate runaround like a decapitated chicken at the sight of a little blood.
Of course, it will all be over soon, this comforting feeling of champagne bubbles floating up and down my body, the bleeding, the daily fights with Kuno, my good grades, my popularity, my winning streak in tennis, everything; and the truth is, I cant wait for everything to be over. The people around me won't have to worry anymore.
But it occurs to me as I lie here in this tub, there is one thing that I don't want to give up. Through my worsening vision I can see her. I speak her name, "Akane." I happily watch her as she franticly punches the phone and then cries into it. Her voice, even in it's panic, sound like the bells of heaven to me. She cries one last thing into the phone before slamming it down. She comes over to stand by my naked form, and as she gets closer I start to see the tracks her tears make as they slip down her porcelain face. A face that, when smiling would provide the world with an eternal light. But she wasn't smiling. Her face, if I could have seen it properly, would have brought the world down into the depths of Hell to remain there.
In truth, I hated making her cry, but soon, soon she wouldn't have to cry. It would all be over.
I can hear her cry my name over and over as she tries to stop the bleeding. Her touch. Oh God, her touch. It makes me feel as if we are the only two people in the world. Like nothing could ever be strong enough to penetrate our little bubble.
She asks me, she pleads with me to tell her, but I just shake my head and smile at her. She becomes more hysterical, but I just smile. Her face flickers in and out of focus now. I feel sorry for making her cry, but one day, she'll look back on this day and she'll laugh at how silly she had acted. Everyone will, I just know it. Besides she doesn't need me to be happy. She's happy with her family, happier than she ever was with me.
I admit I stalked her when I felt lonely, thinking that maybe she was having an affair. She never was. But I noticed, she always was happier with her friends and family than she was when she was around me. I felt that she was obliged to be with me, and that maybe I didn't give her enough free reign. I wanted her to be happy 100 percent of the time. I love her and I will always love her no matter what.
I couldn't say the same for Akane though. We had such a connection though. I could always tell what Akane was feeling. Right now I could tell she was happy that I did this.
I finally felt all those years of love that I had given her being returned to me. It's wonderful. Oh Akane. I love you so much. Even I can't contain all of my love for you.
You are my lighthouse that burns through the raging storm. Love, these moments are the best that I've ever lived. Better than our first kiss, better than the first time we had sex, better even, than when she agreed to be my wife.
Our wedding was only a month away. And I would have ripped out my own heart, fried it and hand fed it to her if she had asked. I invited the entirety of the world. I even asked Ryoga to be my best man. He had been reluctant but he couldn't say no.
Hey where did all of these men come from? Akane what are they doing here? Stop this! You're ruining everything! You're ruining our happiness. Let go of me you filthy pigs! Put me DOWN! RYOGA! What the hell are you doing here you dirty pig.
Damn it ! Ryoga don't you cry! You are stronger than that. You're tougher than I am, so SUCK IT UP! Damn… I can't think…. I can't feel…..Akane…. damn them….I want to be left alone……………Oh well. I'll be gone………………… before…………. we get to the………….. hospital………… anyway . I ……..love you ………………………….Akane.
AN:
Hello. That was interesting. This is Black Crystal Rose filling in for Kyubbi- sama. Kyubbi- sama managed to get himself into dire trouble so here he asked me to write and upload his chaps for him. TBT- I have no idea if this is supposed to be a one-shot or not, so I finished it so that it could be either.
Notes from Kyubbi-sama (note: these are pretty much word for word): PLEASE REVIEW. BESU (BLACK CRYSTAL ROSE )- CHAN NEEDS TO KNOW IF SHE MISSED ANYTHING
And
I'M SORRY FOR THE INCONVENINCE. Besu-chan will make sure to take care of my wonderful readers, else she'll have no help on Wishful Dreaming or Enslaved Body, Enslaved Soul.
