Title: Room with a View
Author: Sarmi
Category: Post-BTVS Finale
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own Spike or Buffy or Dawn. I don't even own that scary fuzzy muppet-like shirt Willow wore at the end of Bargaining.
Summary: Caught in their "normal" life Dawn's sees through Buffy's façade.
Authors note: This one of a series of POV ficlets about how how Buffy deals with Spike's death. They can be read in any order and are leading up to my fic titled Crazy Faith.
She thinks I don't know. That I am still just some little girl. But she is wrong.
I see the circles under her eyes. I hear her in the night when the house is still. I hear her cry out, whimpering his name.
She pretends like this is the place she always wanted to be. Normal. As if its place on the map and she has decided to put down stakes. But I know the truth, this is just a vacation. We are anything but normal, and eventually she is going to get tired of the view.
I'm just waiting for it. Just like she is waiting for him.
She won't talk about him, at least not while she is conscious. And that's all I want to do sometimes. Sometimes I hate her because she got to say goodbye to him. She got to make amends.
I never even got to say good morning. Instead I just walked into battle thinking I might die but surely he never would. Because he didn't know how to die, all he knew how to do was fight and love. And he did both for me.
So I watch her wait for him, and try not to make too many Italian friends because normal is just a detour on the road of life.
Sometimes I think she's a fool, but deep down I know that not even death can stop Spike. So I'll wait with her, because he is not just coming back for her. And he always comes back.
