I was only 24 years old when I watched My Little Pony: Equestria Girls movie. I was the biggest brony, both physically and metaphorically. I loved Flash Sentry so much, I decreed him to be my husbando when he first appeared in the movie. Everyone called me a faggot, but instead of getting angry I agreed with them. I was a faggot, a Flash Sentry Faggot...my faggotness levels for Flash Sentry went beyond mere mortal faggotry that many assume my love for Flash Sentry is. My love for Flash Sentry transcended space and time, in the far flung planet of Equus, through the doorway to the "human world" Flash Sentry felt my love for him and he harkened to me on his magical surfboard guitar. As I sat at my computer, writing the best love story for my husbando Flash, my father came in to tell me to stop my faggotry for Flash Sentry. I denied him and told him to go away. I flopped on my bed and the box springs clanked with strain to hold myself aloft, and I cried for I knew...Flash Sentry is love, Flash Sentry is life. Then like a angelic messenger from God, my angelic messenger from God came upon me. Flash Sentry was here and he told me to bend over so he can give me his love. I did and he pulled down my skinny jeans, and thrusted his "sword" into my "brown sheath." It hurt at first because his love was the size of a horse but I didn't care. My husbando was here and was giving me his love. After a while he showered my ass with his love and said "It's all pony now." He hopped on his guitar board and surfed back to his world while I laid in a puddle of my own blood and his love and I knew "Flash Sentry is love, Flash Sentry is life.