Yo there, peeps. This is another co-written peace between me and kujazlilmage. Enjoy!
"Rubicon": A limit that, when passed or exceeded, permits no return and typically results in an irrevocable commitment.
Peace and silence. The young Optimus Prime leaned back on the comfortable sofa and realized that he hadn't had the opportunity to relax and think about nothing in particular since quite a long time ago. His hand idly wandered to his chestplate and he offlined his optics for a moment. Thank Primus he was actually able to do that...that fight with the Decepticon Starscream a couple of weeks ago actually killed him. But the almighty Allspark decided that he was not ready to go yet.
Since the battle, they worked on that building the little Sari offered them, and now it was quite a homely headquarter. They all had their own rooms, a workshop, a neat med bay for Ratchet, and everything Earth could offer, including TV, radio and Internet. Slowly, they were adapting to this planet. It was so amazing in so many ways; so different and intriguing. Each of them found something here, which entertained them with no end—video games, libraries or, in Prowl's case, endless roads and solitude.
Optimus let out a small sigh, and smiled, just to himself. They had a lot to learn still, all of them.
The Autobots were slowly but surely adapting to their new way of life. While none could yet comfortably call this place "home", because of the vast number of things to discover, they were able to keep occupied. In particular, many of these curiosities belonged to studying the human race; but among all of the Autobots, none took more interest in observing said humans than Bumblebee.
Because Bee spent most of his days in the company of Sari, he was able to scope out a great deal of things; as a result, it was highly possible (and 100 probable) that Bumblebee would learn more about the humans in an hour than the rest of the team combined would find out in a day. His optics would light up each time he learned something new, and he was always excited to share the information he gathered. Sometimes the Autobots found use or entertainment in it...and sometimes not.
But today, Bumblebee was a little apprehensive about the questions mulling through his processors. It had started much earlier, some hours ago when he was picking Sari up from school. She shared her stories with him as she always did, speaking about "boyfriends" and "girlfriends." Bee innocently inquired into what these so-called human species were, and Sari laughed at him, and explained. She said that sometimes these Boyfriends and Girlfriends grew up and got "married" and had "children." Marriage...Bumblebee somewhat understood marriage. He'd heard tell of 'bonding' back on Cybertron, and the way Sari explained it, that seemed similar enough for comparison.
But then Bumblebee asked about Children, and Sari's dark skin blushed deep even as she was grinning wickedly and whispered in his audios like it was some sort of dirty secret.
Bumblebee managed to make it to Prime's quarters, and stared up at the tall open doorway with a twisted look of confusion on his faceplates, optics blinking. He knew he probably shouldn't interrupt Prime...the poor guy barely got a break...but he had to talk to someone about it, and considering how the others were, Prime seemed the only reasonable option.
Bee peered into the doorway, spotting his young leader reclining on a massive sofa. "Uhh...hey...Optimus?"
The leader of the small team immediately perked up, sitting up straight, smiling at his comrade. He liked all of them of course, in different ways, but Bee was probably closest to his spark regardless of the yellow mech's recklessness. Optimus patted the comfortable furniture, inviting his youngest companion closer. "Hello, Bumblebee. Come, sit. Is there a problem?" While the little one sometimes got carried away, and could be quite free with his opinion, disregarding authority, he was also a sharp youngling, and a refreshing conversationalist. One could always count on him having the freshest news and the most interesting bits of information.
"Well, not really," Bumblebee laughed nervously, obliging Prime's invitation, walking towards the plush couch and hopping up beside his taller leader. "Just a little...by something I heard..." his faceplates twisted about in odd expressions, "the humans call it being 'weirded out'?"
Optimus frowned lightly. "I think I know what you mean, but...what caused it? I know this planet can be confusing. I have to admit, there are a serious number of things I don't seem to get entirely. Can I help you any way? You'd like to talk about it? If nothing else, we can try to find a solution together."
Bumblebee tilted his head, frowning, deep in thought. After a moment, he looked up at Optimus, and, unblinking, asked:
"Did Sari ever tell you about 'sex'?"
Optimus' optics widened, and he looked away, poking his audio-sensors, like every time he was nervous. "I, umm, I asked her about organic reproduction, yes. But I haven't really dwelled into the topic. You're right, their ways are indeed weird."
"That's what I said," Bumblebee replied. "I told Sari it was strange, and she thought I was silly." He paused, fidgeting as he grew nervous again. There was something else that she mentioned that had really made it awkward, but he didn't say that part aloud just yet.
"But now it...won't get out of my head, y'know. Because she said she didn't know a lot about it herself, just what her parents told her. So I'm thinking about looking into it..."
"Looking...? Oh, I suppose, on the Internet." Optimus nodded. "You don't have to ask permission, of course. If you'd like to, go ahead. I can understand that something so different from the customs of our race intrigues you. You're a curious little mech." He smiled, and on a sudden impulse, lightly patted Bee's head—as he had seen humans doing it to their offspring. "Sari once said we have a lot to learn about humans," he added, suspecting maybe the girl involuntarily offended Bee a bit, "but she has a lot to learn about us as well."
Bumblebee lowered his head a bit sheepishly when Optimus patted it, and when he spoke, he shifted about again, pulling his legs up and crossing them. "It would help if she'd ask us questions I know how to answer," he mumbled.
"Hmm? What kind of questions does she ask?" True, Sari was most comfortable with Bumblebee; she talked to all of them if she and they both had the time, and she talked a lot, but obviously she got along with the youngest of the team the best.
Bee made an uncomfortable grimace, although he seemed more disappointed than anything else—if it could compete with his embarrassment.
"...She, uh..." he glanced at his leader sideways. "Well, after I called her human ways weird...she asked me how we...y'know...'have sex'."
Optimus shifted in his seat a bit. "We don't have sex," he said, shrugging lightly. "That is an organic way to create new life, and we transformers are created by the Allspark's power. You know that. We assemble protoforms, and the Allspark animates them. We don't have any use of... mating rituals. We don't even have...reproductive organs."
"Yeah, but humans don't always use sex for reproduction," Bumblebee replied. "I looked that much up already. They said it feels really good..."
"Well, logically approached, it makes sense. After all, if it didn't, then they would avoid doing it—" Optimus stopped. "Really...? They go through the reproduction process just for... fun?" Now, that was weird...what about the reproduction matter? And how did the humans keep their females from conceiving? He blinked at Bee and something clicked suddenly. "You'd like to do the research with me, wouldn't you."
Bumblebee grinned rather mischievously. "Oh, you don't have to, but the help would be nice..."
Optimus shook his head, slightly amused. "We don't have any pressing matters right now, so I think we can sacrifice some of our time for the sake of better understanding. Come then, my computer is already integrated into the network. We can 'surf' the Internet for any appropriate information. I have to admit, I'm somewhat curious, too."
"Yes!" Bumblebee pumped a fist and hopped down off the couch, eagerly finding the way to Optimus' computer. Ah, the power of suggestion. At least now he wouldn't be looking at such strange material on his own.
The young leader couldn't help but smile. Bee's enthusiasm was refreshing indeed after Prowl's detached manners, Ratchet's grumbling and Bulkhead's kind, well-mannered behavior. He was like a miniature sun, always shining.
He pulled another chair in front of the desk and settled down, his fingers dancing on the keyboard. He accessed the human Internet, and after some hesitation, he typed 'sex' into the browser. They were immediately flooded with an immense amount of information, written material, first and foremost. It seemed humans liked this topic quite a lot. "Alright...where should we begin?"
Bumblebee quirked his head, scratching near the horns on the helm and pointing to a link here or there. He was a bit apprehensive, but with Prime's company, the smaller bot was less inhibited to hold back. "How about we look up about this...?"
Optimus obediently followed the yellow finger's indication. About two cycles later, however, slightly overheated and with a constant buzz in his processors, he called a halt to their activities. "Huh," he declared, rubbing the bridge of his olfactory sensor. "We should stop for a little energon, don't you think? My processors can't deal with any more; this has to be processed first."
Indeed the humans liked sex. And they loved to brag about it. At least now, they were perfectly well-informed about human biology, reproduction and sexual behavior. And even certain deviations. Optimus was fascinated. Condoms. So simple, yet so effective...!
"Aww, but we were on a roll," Bumblebee whined, looking up at Optimus with wide blue optics. He was a bit more wired up than usual, systems whirring every so often, and his frame was a bit warm. "One more thing? Pleeeease?"
"I think we've gone through every bit of written material already..." Optimus mused. "If we want to learn more, we should get audio-visual feedback on this. Watching humans mate is, naturally, out of the question. Sari is too young—and while we're here, I'd like to ask you not to press this issue with her. We know now that human society is very sensitive about their offspring learning about sex before they reach the appropriate age."
Bumblebee quirked his head a bit, then typed a search into "Google." Seconds later, he pointed triumphantly at the screen. "Bingo! Just when I thought they couldn't get weirder...humans apparently record themselves engaging in sexual activities. There are all sorts of movies and stuff."
"This is somewhat...repelling..." Optimus frowned, but leaned closer. "Well, if it's up on a freely accessible domain, then I suppose there's no harm in watching it...here goes nothing." He pushed the 'Play' button.
Approximately ten seconds later, he lowered the volume to a barely audible one and he stared with wide optics, with both awe and horror. "T-they have no plating- I mean, clothes on...this really looks different from those pictures on the education sites..."
Bumblebee's optics were possibly even wider than Prime's. He was fixated on the screen, faceplates shifting from one expression to the next in a plethora of emotions from surprised to mortified. The bodies on screen were moving in awkward unison, but they seemed to be enjoying it. It just looked so...weird. And organic. Bumblebee couldn't get past that whole "flesh" part. It seemed so vulnerable.
And then the man pulled away, and then...
Bee reeled back, hands clapped against his face. "Why? Why in Primus' name is he tasting that?!"
"I have NO idea..." Optimus whimpered. "Maybe it...tastes good? I think...those pheromones have something to do with that. Humans can still sense them." Before he could catch himself, he glanced down at the smooth plating between his own legs. Primus, he was glad there was nothing like those organs...it seemed to be very difficult.
"Oh...wait, wait, I figured it out!" He tapped at Bee's arm excitedly. "I think it's not the taste, it's the tactile stimulation. Human genitals are sensitive, right? So when they touch each other like that, it provides pleasant sensations." There. He was somewhat proud of himself. They got closer to solve another mystery.
But didn't he just say, "You taste good"? Is it both? Bee felt like his processors were going to explode. This was confusing. He peered at the screen, squirming in his seat. "I guess...she seems to be enjoying it, anyway..."
"And how...!" Optimus nodded. "I've never heard anybody providing sounds like that before. There's something...strangely appealing in the vibration." He ran a few tests on the audio input, comparing with others. He couldn't get any solid conclusion out of it, but it was intriguing. With a sigh, he curled an arm around the yellow mech's shoulder, and glanced at him. "Your frame is hot. If you overheat or something and I have to carry you down to Ratchet, I'll personally disable the computer in your room..."
Bumblebee revved and pouted. "I won't overheat!" He insisted with a grumble. "Maybe it's just you you're feeling. Your frame issmoldering."
"I'm bigger and older than you...!" Optimus shot back, his shoulder vents hissing. "We'll watch this, and then it's enough for this orn." He turned back to the screen and almost jumped. "W-when did his organ get that big...?"
The younger mech looked back at the screen, and his optics dimmed a bit as he thought. "Ummm..." once he'd gotten over his initial distaste of how it actually looked, "I think...one of the sites said something about...a rush of blood to the area..."
"Yes, but...it seems so huge...! Does it really fit into the female?" Apparently it did—the guy on the screen leaned above his mate and slowly eased himself into her body. The Autobot leader was steadily steaming. "I don't know whether I should be awed or horrified..."
"No harm in being both," Bee mumbled, excess heat hissing out from every joint in his body while he watched. He winced a little bit when the male started moving. "I...I know they said something about a 'spot', but, wouldn't that hurt?"
Optimus rubbed his temple. "The female's vagina provides a lubrication," he recited what he had read earlier, "so the friction will not cause discomfort. And the inside is sensitive as well. She seems to like it. It's like a bunch of sensors connected directly to our emotion processing center, and set so, that stimulation would register as...nice." Translating it to their own anatomy made it a little more understandable. Suddenly, a curious realization dawned on the young Prime. "It's a bit like my audio sensors. Touch registers on them, and it somehow calms me down when I'm upset."
"Ah." Bee glanced curiously up at Prime—namely, at his audio sensors. After a moment, however, he started to slide down off of the chair. "I, uh...think I've had enough of human mating rituals for one day..."
"Agreed." Optimus switched the whole browser off and offlined the Internet as well, just to be sure. "I think we got a lot wiser. Sex is not something meant for us." He placed a hand lightly on Bumblebee's shoulder. "Are you going to be alright? I say have a cube and get some recharge. In the evening, we'll take a round in the city, and then we'll just store ourselves away until morning."
Bumblebee just nodded in agreement, smiling up at his leader. "Yeah. Thanks for checking it out with me, anyway. It was, uh...interesting."
"I can't deny that. Now, go, youngling." Optimus gave a playful little push to his comrade, then went straight to his cabinet, to retrieve a small cube. He really needed some relaxation now. Humans and their strange ways...he made sure he was alone, and slowly ran his fingers all over his audio module and antenna. He offlined his optics and concentrated on the feeling, tried to analyze it... Then stopped abruptly, placing his hand on the sofa firmly. His processors were reeling, and Optimus, to calm them, took a big swig from his energon. Unfortunately, he managed to swallow some air as well, so he spent the next few minutes doubling over, groaning, and tapping at his chest firmly.
