EXCEL SAGA!!! The Fan Fiction You've All Been Waiting For!
Today's experiment will be…
Okay so, the experiment's gonna fail anyway, so I, Rikdo Koshi hereby give my permission to turn the Excel Saga anime into a Fan-Fiction by HollowLover222!
Nabeshin: It's going to be awesome, ya!
We'll start in the city prefecture of F where citizens flock in and out of the city gates like dairy cows trying to run away from a slaughter house! Here, we go into the briefing room where Lord Illpallazzo gives his recruits from the secret organization, ACROSS missions. Lord Illpallazzo raises a mighty hand up into the air, waiting for Excel and Hyatt, to do the same as a sign of absolute respect to the soon to be empire of ACROSS. "I Excel hereby devote my body and soul to the commander in chief of all ACROSS' members far and wide and serve him with my absolute potential even higher if I have to! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GREAT! I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO GO ON A MISSION IN THREE MONTHS!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE THS BEST MISSION EVER!" Excel yells excitedly in front of the might Illpallazzo. The rope used to calm Excel down comes down to within reach of the mighty soon to be emperor. "Excel, keep quiet, we are in the briefing…" Illpallazzo stops due to a slight interruption. Hyatt faints, almost dead on the spot. "Hyatt, are you alright? Hyatt? Excel, please bring me the shocky-thingies used to revive almost dead people." He commands. Excel bolts off at the speed of light and the Great Will of the Universe comes onto the scene. "Here you go, sir." She says.
"Oh, you have the shocky-thingies already? Nice work, Great Will. I might just replace Excel with you." Illpallazzo says in gratitude. "Oh, it was nothing really." She replies. Then, at the speed of light, Excel comes dashing back into the room. She stops at her position of attention point. "I am very deeply apologetic if I couldn't find the shocky thingies you asked for, Lord Illpallazzo. For that, I will gladly accept any punishment you bring out to me. Excel will take full responsibility for her actions." She says without even taking a breath. "Oh, no it's quite alright, Excel, Great Will-san already brought them for me." He said. Excel, with a feeling of disappointment sighs. "Okay. IN THAT CASE, THANK YOU LORD ILLPALLAZZO-SAMA!" she yells excitedly.
Excel grabs the shocky-thingies and prepares to do a revival. First, she rubs the shocky-thingies together and then prepares to zap Hyatt. "CLEAR!" BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! "Um, hello mommy, Is that you?" Hyatt says faintly. "Oh, Hyatt, are you alright? Are you alive?" Lord Illpallazzo says in a relieved tone of voice. "Yes, I'm fine, sir." She said faintly.
"Hail Illpallazzo!" Excel and Hyatt yell at the top of their lungs the ultimate sign of respect to the great one…
Chapter 1 part 2
As Excel sleeps on the couch of the apartment, Hyatt is reading a swimsuit model magazine while sitting on the bed. Both are dressed in bear pajamas (the ones Excel could afford thanks to a job she got at a grocery store). Anyway, all of a sudden, a loud boom sounded as if something big had just crashed. In fact, another Puuchuu ship had just landed on Earth.
At the scene, there was total chaos. It was in the middle of a lush countryside so; of course people wouldn't be there. Puuchuus were scattered trying to help each other out of the ship. Inside the ship, Nabeshin was at the cockpit sitting next to two dead Puuchuu pilots. "Take that, suckers!" Nabeshin laughed in a victorious laughter. Mr. Butler was standing right behind Nabeshin the whole time watching Nabeshin's reckless driving with the Puuchuu's space ship.
At the apartment, Excel was looking out the window. "What in the world could that have been?" She wondered. "Uh-oh, I feel another speech that doesn't make sense coming on!" Hyatt jumped from the bed and peered out the same window. "Um, that was Puuchuu ship." She said. Excel gasped in excitement. "What the Hell?! Another one of their ships landed down here, again?!!" She yelled. "That could only mean one thing. That the Puuchuus are going to try and hypnotize every living being with their super cuteness and destroy the city we're trying to conquer and if that happens, we'll get fired for sure! If that were to happen, I would never forgive myself and probably commit Seppukku right on the spot! I'd die of total humiliation from members of ACROSS universally!" "Um, Excel?" Hyatt said faintly. "Yeah, what?!" Excel replied. "We're the only members of ACROSS." Hyatt stated.
Meanwhile, Nabeshin was being chased by an army of mad Puuchuus whose faces were uglified by Nabeshin's killer kung-fu. "You're not gonna catch me, you ugly furry bastards!" Nabeshin yelled. Mr. Butler stole a hovercraft from the Puuchuus while they weren't looking so; he was trying to catch up to Nabeshin. When Butler came into range of Nabeshin, he yelled "Take my hand! I stole this from the Puuchuus while they weren't looking!!" Butler reached out his hand to Nabeshin but, all the attention shifted from Nabeshin, to Butler. Nabeshin got on the hovercraft, but all the Puuchuus aimed their cutesy wands at the hovercraft. Then, elder Puuchuu, walked into the center of the crowd of Puuchuus who were within range of the craft. "Puuchuu, Puuchuu, Puuchuu, Puuchuu!" said the elder Puuchuu. Translation: Destroy them! "PUUCHUU!" Yelled the other Puuchuus. "Oh my God. How did their faces turn back to cute…Huh? Butler? BUTLER WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! THOSE CREATURES ARE SUPER DANGEROUS!" Nabeshin yelled to deter Butler from cuddling the little monsters but, to no avail. "Aww, soooooo cute! Can't resist faces! Trying so hard!" Butler said as he snuggled one of the Puuchuus. Then, Nabeshin shot the Puuchuu Butler was holding in the face and it became uglified!
