While I was writing the newest chapter for "Ninja and Guardians", which will be finished these days, this came into my mind. It is not really long, has a deep meaning or is any good but I thought I should release it anyway, if only to give you guys something to laugh.
Have fun
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„These things might come handy." said Caleb thoughtfully as he inspected the golf club in his hand with new found curiosity. "In times of need I am sure a good blacksmith could use this to make a fine sword or at least a spear."
"Well, I hope it does not come to that, otherwise it would be really hard to play this game. Besides, look how much fun Vathek and Julian are having." responded Elyon, the young Queen of Meridian as she pointed at them.
Caleb, watching his father hit the white ball hard enough to flew above the especially for this game created hole and started to walk towards it, with a grumpy looking Vathek behind.
"I still don't see the fun of hitting a white ball in a small hole from a ridiculous distance." complained the leader of the former rebellion, swinging the club like a sword. "And with all respect my queen, I don't really think you enjoy this game too."
"Who said I liked golf?" brushed Elyon it off. "It was this or studying and personally I liked to do your dad and Vathek a favor, since they have done so much for me."
"And you are skipping your responsibilities as a queen."
"You know, you can stay here and pretend to like this game, or you can help Blunk with his latest loot, the choice is yours."
Caleb didn't answer and aimed carefully before he sends the ball flying, hitting a tree not far away from Vathek.
"What an entertaining game." said Caleb with lacking enthusiasm. "Where has this game been all my life."
"Ok Mr. Sarcasm, no need to be that obvious. If you hate this so much, how come you never showed me any Meridian games? The only things I have been doing were listening to complains about animals, farms and some weird stuff, next to studying all the regulations I have to know as queen."
Caleb paused for a minute before shrugging and turned again to Elyon.
"To be honest with you, I have never played games. Or I did, if you count Guards harassing and foot caravan looting as games." said Caleb thoughtfully, "Good times."
"That was one of the most depressing things I have ever heard." murmured Elyon, hitting her ball carefully and watching it making an impossible curve and landing exactly in the hole.
"That was cheap, using your powers to beat someone who plays it for the first time."
"Report me to the queen" smirked Elyon before putting her hand at her cheeks with a fake gesture of remembering. "Oh I forgot, I'm the queen, so suck it up rebel boy and hit."
"Why did I want you on the throne again?"
"I thought it was for my looks." said Elyon thoughtfully, levitating the golf ball back to her hand. "Yes, it was defiantly for my looks."
"Looking at our monarchs, it becomes harder and harder to believe at the divine right to rule, maybe we should try it with democracy, heard it works like a charm on earth."
"And give up my kingdom? Not on your life." grinned Elyon, "But nice suggestion though, I will remember it when I have to assign someone for laundry duty."
"You never do that." protested Caleb, "You shrug it off to others to organize things like that."
"I thought that's what queens do; give the boring jobs to others. I am sure you did this too, giving works you didn't like to your subordinates."
"I have always done everything by myself and kept the most dangerous missions." said Caleb proudly.
"Was that before or after giving me the duty collect Hoogong dung?" interrupted Aldarn, as he joined them. "If my memory is correct, you never went to collect Hoogong dung for our bombs."
"Bombs? " asked Elyon warily, "with Hoogong dung? Do I want to even know? Did you put it in bags, placed it in front of the castle and set it aflame? "
"Believe me, your highness, there is nothing which comes off harder then Hoogong dung, so we hurled it at the Guards after mixing it with Larvec salvia, it wasn't really dangerous but it was meant to distract."
"The dung collecting missions were essential, but not dangerous. While you were picking crap of the floor, I was spying in Phobos castle, surrounded by monsters and horrors we don't even have names for."
"We have, we call them Lurdens, Shape Shifters and Phobos. Also I will have you know that I volunteered for the spying mission, but that would have left you the one for the Hoogong dung, but you left me doing it, going out and having fun with the maids."
"You made up the last part Aldarn." said Caleb dryly and ignored Elyon's giggle.
"That's not the point." argued Aldarn, "the point is every leader gives things he doesn't want to do to his subordinates. You do it, the queen does it and Phobos did it the whole time."
"I am not that bad", murmured Elyon, hitting the ball again, this time letting it fly a loping before hitting the hole. "Besides, I happen to don't like critique, so if one of you wants to spend the next few days as Blunk's personal servant, be my guest."
"Why did we help her on the throne again?" asked Aldarn
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Two hours later, both, Aldarn and Caleb were assigned a their newest duty, one so stressing that it would strain gods, a terrifying mission without equal;
"Put frog-catcher there" pointed Blunk happily, while sitting comfortable on an old armchair and pointed at a really dirty spot in his hideout.
"Caleb and friend can continue with magic-box after that."
"I wish I had kept my mouth shut." complained Aldarn for at least the tenth time since the start of their sacred mission.
"I am so going to start a new rebellion…" mumbled Caleb, cursing whatever made him think it would have been good to reinstate another monarch.
