A/N: This was an assignment I had to do in English class last year... a diary from Huck's POV. Yeah, it's kinda dumb, I know... but bear with me, people... perhaps horribly misspelled retellings of Mark Twain's magnum opus are indeed your cup of tea?

DISCLAIMER (lest Mr. Clemens cometh down to smite me): Huck Finn and his homies do not belong to moi.


Deer Dyaree,

I reckon that Tom Soyer boy ain't rite in the hed. Y'see, me n him and sum othr boys mayd this robbr gang that Tom called Tom Soyer's Gang (I allso reckun that Toms a mytee bit fulla hisself) Well, he said that ther wus gonna be a bunch of A-rabs campin in Cayve Hollo with there camels and joowles and eliphants and mules. I was kinder eckcited, beecus I hadn't ever seen no eliphants afore. So we goes to Cavee Hollo and ther warnt nuthin there but a sunday skool piknik! No mules or nuthin! I wus preddy angered so I told Tom that I couldnt see non of the stuf he talked about, butt he sed it was all their, I was jus' somthin called ignerant. Then ol tom starts ramblin about sum book he red, Don Keyotee. I kinder tuned him out then cus I aint never been wun fer book lernin and alotta times Tom acts like a big no-it-all. Then he talkt abouts jeenies an how u kin git them to doo yer biddin and stuff when u rub a lamp and a ring. I got kinder inneressted, so too days layter, I tryed rubbin a lamp an a ring reel hard, but no jeenie came.

Yessir, that Tom Soyer is craysee.

Deer Dyari,

Pap came bak tuday. Paps my daad, and i hadnt herd hied ner hare frum him fer over a yeer. Evereewun thot he was drownded in the river, but I new I couldnt get ridda him that esee. So Pap was wayten in my room, an he starts tellin me off for wheren fancee close and lernin stuf at skhool, witch I go to now. I reckon he's purdy gelous that his sun is turin out to be smrter then he is. That kinder makes me proud, cus I no that if I keeps on reedin and writin, bothersum as it is, I won't never turn intoo a smelee ol booze hownd who can't do nuthin like my Pap. Pap sed heed whale on me if'n I ever whent to the skool agan. Wen I wus a littel feller I used to be reel afeared of ny Pap cus he used to hit me lots and lots sumthin feerse back then. Butt Im not so feared now. He askd fer the munny I gots frum my venturs with Tom Soyer, but beeforhand I had a bad feeler that Pap wus cuming, so i gaven my munny to Judje Thatchr. Pap took the doller in my poket tho, and he left to get him sum wiskey

He lykes wiskey.


A/N: It's not over... what can I say, I like to stretch things out. C'mon and review, so you can tell me what a piece of crap this is...

SmileVampy