The Importance of Life

(An Alternate Universe Retelling of Dog Gone)

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 1 - A Book Society and a Housemaid


Our story begins in the rewritten universe Bertram made. But enough about him. Let's talk about the story. We actually begin at the Griffin house. New Brian, the Griffins' current dog at the time, was watching TV when he saw Stewie carrying his laptop.

"Hey, Stewie," New Brian greeted. "What are you doing with my laptop?"

"Oh," Stewie began, "I'm going through your stuff, New Brian. Looking for some new materials for your songs, I see."

"Yeah," New Brian giggled nervously, "I guess you could say that."

"You know, you could clear your browsing history, N.B.," Stewie replied. "I noticed that you Googled our previous dog, Brian."

"Uh-oh," New Brian chuckled. "Caught crimson-pawed. You want to know why I've been Googling Brian?"

"Why?" Stewie asked.

New Brian answered, "I found a web site for a Book Society in Quahog, and they happen to have chosen to read and discuss Brian's book, Faster Than the Speed of Love, which happens to be one of my favorite books of all time."

"Easy there, newbie," Stewie halted. "You're as much of a fanatic than a mouse in a rat convention."

Cutaway: We are at a convention center, where almost everyone who attended there was a rat. An eager girl mouse scurried by to see her favorite rat actor. However, a couple bouncers got in her way.

"Not so fast, little missy," one of the bouncers said. "You'll have to get in line before you can see him."


Later that day, during lunch, Lois had reprimanded Peter for the mess he made earlier.

"Peter, it took me a half hour to clean up all that Kool-Aid," she said. "I am always sick of you constantly making a mess of this house and having to clean up after you. So I hired a maid."

"Are you nuts?" Peter blurted out. "We don't have the money for that."

"Oh, really?" Lois disbelieved. "And what about the Petercopter? Did we not have money for the Petercopter?"

Meg and Chris glared at him.

"What?" Peter shrugged.

"Anyway," Lois continued, "I want you to meet Consuela." With that, the Hispanic maid entered the kitchen. "Consuela, this is my husband, Peter, and these are our children."

"Oh, Hello, Mr. Peter," Consuela greeted. "Hello, Mr. Children."

"Consuela's gonna be our new housekeeper," said Lois.

"Uh, why is she wearing makeup like she's going out?" Peter asked.


That night, New Brian got himself all dressed up so he could see Brian. Peter and Lois noticed him.

"Hey, New Brian," Peter noticed. "Going somewhere tonight?"

"Yeah," New Brian answered. "I'm going to a special dinner to honor your previous dog, Brian. He's being given an award for his book, Faster Than the Speed of Love. And since I happen to be a fan of FaTTSpOL, which is an acronym I use for the book because I love it so much, I've decided to go to this dinner."

"Oh," Lois replied. "Well, you be careful out there, New Brian."


New Brian had driven to where the awards ceremony was going to take place, at the Quahog Pizza Parlor. He was greeted by the author himself.

"Hey, New Brian," Brian greeted. "Glad you could make it."

"Hey, Brian," New Brian greeted back. "I wasn't sure if I got the right address."

"Yeah, the Book Society really loves this place," Brian chuckled.

"Oh, it's okay," New Brian assured. "I like this place, too. I'm a pizza dog myself."

"Then you're going to like the dog who proofread my book before I had it published," Brian replied. "He's inside the parlor. Wanna come in?"

"Sure," New Brian nodded. With that, both dogs got inside the parlor.

"Hey, Brian," Vinny said, noticing the two come in. He, too, was dressed up. "There's the dog of the evening. And I see that you brought a friend inside."

"Thanks, Vinny," Brian replied. "This is New Brian, my previous family's current dog. He's a fan of Faster than the Speed of Love. New Brian, this is Vinny. He's the dog who proofread it for me."

"Nice to meet you, Vinny," New Brian said, offering to shake Vinny's paw.

"Pleasure's all mine, New Brian," Vinny replied.

"So, how long have you known Brian, Vinny?" New Brian asked.

"Oh, several months ago," Vinny replied. "I just decided that a plot better than that based on the film Iron Eagle and its sequels would be okay for FaTTSpOL, which is why I proofread it."

"Oh," New Brian chuckled. "Well, that's great."

"Hey, if you can stick by," Brian said, "you'll get to hear my reading of the first chapter."

"Great," New Brian replied.