Cute as a Button

'"QUICK'!" Owen arrived breathlessly through the cog door at 2.00pm on Sunday and threw himself into the Hub. He was dripping wet, it was a typical rainy Cardiff day. He dashed up into the boardroom, where Jack was already sitting in front of the television gnawing his fingernails.

"Owen," Ianto followed him, looking in horror at the trail of water he'd left behind him, knowing exactly who was going to have to mop up.

Owen ignored him, eyes fixed on the television as he stripped off his coat and tossed it unceremoniously in a heap on the floor.

"Owen!" repeated Ianto, frustration mounting.

Owen's eyes didn't leave the screen. "What?" he snapped, without any degree of interest whatsoever in what Ianto was about to say.

"Can't you at least dry off first?"

"Uh-uh." he grunted, and Ianto knew that that was the last intelligible communication he was likely to get from Owen for a while.

"Jack?" asked Ianto, going to stand behind Jack, putting his hands lightly on Jack's shoulders and kissing the top of his head. "Is there anything you want?" he purred suggestively.

"Wha?" Jack's attention was momentarily turned away from the TV, but quickly returned. Distractedly, he said "A coffee would be nice."

"That's not really what I meant," continued Ianto, somewhat annoyed that he was unable to command Jack's full attention. Or any attention at all. Jack was normally very excited when Ianto initiated sexual contact. He said it made Ianto cute, and that instantly drained all the strength from Ianto's legs, and turned him into putty in Jack's hands. "Is there anything else you fancy?" he whispered into Jack's ear, still trying to play on the cute angle.

"A biscuit wouldn't go amiss, if you are offering."

"I was offering far more than than," snapped Ianto, giving up and going to the kitchen where he slammed the coffee machine around in what, for Ianto, passed as temper. He returned to the boardroom, stood deliberately in front of the television, blocking the view of the two men as he banged the coffee cups down on the table. Each peered around him, Jack to the left, Owen to the right.

"Get out of the way, teaboy." snapped Owen.

"Thank you Ianto for making us coffee," responded Ianto tartly.

"Oh, yes, thanks. Now get out of the way. Jensen Button is only just behind Webber who is in the lead, and Hamilton is pushing fourth or fifth, and there's only half the race left."

Ianto sighed deeply and turned to leave the boardroom. "I just don't know how you two can waste your time watching traffic!"

"It's called the Grand Prix, actually," countered Owen.

"Grand Pricks, more like."