Stand by My Dream.

I'm on fire! My mind is just filled with new story ideas! Dark Nuriko is to thank for this one, her and her Duo filled conversations really inspired me! So many thanks and much love to you!

Well, I am going to start writing the next section of this! I have no idea how long its going to be, but I hope you like it!

Much love to all!

Lora Helen

Ps – As for all my fics, Gundam wing is not mine, blah blah blah!

Italics in story thoughts

Bold italics in this chapter show a memory.


Duo looked over at where Heero was sitting at the table in the small apartment on L1. He hadn't moved much in the last hour, but then, neither had Duo.

"You're writing to her again, aren't you." The purple eyed mans tone was miserable "You're writing to Relena."

"Hai." Heero stated, not looking up from the letter he was working on.

Duo nodded sadly "Yeah… I guess you would be, wouldn't you. Why though Heero, I don't understand…"

"Because I'm going to marry her." Heeros tone was flat, and Duo winced "You can't pretend that it's not going to happen Duo."

His voice was a dry monotone, Duo sighed "Heero… Why?"

"Hn."

Duo clenched his teeth. He hated it when Heero clammed up suddenly. Bastard! His mind screamed The Day I tell you I love you; you tell me you're marrying Relena.

"Duo." Heeros voice cut through Duos mental rant.

"Yeah Hee-chan?" Duo asked quietly.

"Stop grating your teeth."

BASTARD!

Sticking his nose in the air, Duo got up from his seat by the window, and walked out of the living room "I'm getting an early night Heero. Don't disturb me, even if the roof is falling in." And especially if Relena wants to talk to me about appropriate wedding gifts…

"Duo." Heeros voice stopped Duo in his tracks once again

"Yeah Heero?" he asked quietly again, he just wanted to get out of the room

"I want you to be my best man."

Duo blinked, a crushing pain erupting in his chest "Sure Buddy… Sure…" he tried desperately to keep the dejection out of his voice.

Duo then carried on his slumped way down the corridor, a sigh slipping though his down turned lips anything at all for the one you love… Duo shook his head; he'd been so sure that Heero would feel the same way… That was why he'd told him.

"Heero. I need to tell you something…"

"Hmm? What is it Duo, I'm Busy."

He was tinkering with the laptop again, he was always doing that…

"Well… The thing is… I… I'm in love with you Heero… That's why I've stayed by your side…that's why I left the scrap yard when you came and found me…"

There was no response from Heero for a while; the two merely stared at one another. It was Heero who broke the silence, and Duo's heart all at the same time.

"I'm Engaged to Relena. The invitation to our wedding is on the sideboard. I meant to give it to you this morning."

That said he turned and walk out the front door, leaving a stunned Duo alone.

As he closed the door to his room Duo sighed again, and flopped back against it. That was one hell of a painful memory. And now, on top of that, Heero wanted him to be best man… could he be any crueller?

Heero and Relena… It sounded right. It had always sounded right, but then, how come it felt so wrong?

"Why does she always get what she wants?" Duo growled quietly. The memory eating away at him "Why do I never get anything? She's not so different to me. She just… Has money… and status… and… Heero…"

Duo shook his head, trying to clear away the bitter cobwebs that seemed to have clung onto his mind. Who could blame Heero for being swept away by Relenas glitzy world? What did Duo have to offer him after all? Nothing. Nothing that he couldn't get from Relena.

Sighing again, a habit he seemed to have really taken to recently, Duo tugged his shirt off over his head and walked over to his mirror. He frowned at his reflection, his hips swayed when he walked. He'd have to make an effort to stop that.

He ran his eyes over his torso; there were all manner of scars running across the soft pale skin, some larger than others. But his eyes moved past these, and up to his right shoulder.

There were three rows of neat orderly scars there, one row clearly very recent. He frowned; it hurt when he scarred himself, despite all the wounds he'd received during the wars. But it reminded him that he was alive, that his heart was still beating.

He raised a hand and scraped his nails down one of the neat cuts, removing the clot that had formed, and causing it to bleed again.

The red liquid that began to trickle thickly and slowly down his arm, leaving a sick red smear in its wake. He winced. He didn't really like blood if he was totally honest, but it had sort of just become a fact of his life.

Quatre had once caught Duo playing with a knife after he and Heero had had a major falling out, and had gotten incredibly upset, and demanded to see Duo's wrists. Which Duo had of course shown him. Slashing his wrists would be far too common a thing for Shinigami though. Why show your weaknesses that brazenly to others? Why give them the ammunition?

Eyes still fixed on the thin line of blood, Duo sighed, once more, long and low. It made his arm throb every time. But he could still feel… so he had to be alive, which meant that Heero hadn't totally broken his heart into pieces yet.

People, such as Hilde, sometimes asked him why he stayed with Heero, but the answer was so simple, He loved Heero. And you don't say goodbye to the people you love.

He knew Heero would leave soon. Go and stay with Relena. It was only twelve days till their wedding day now. Twelve days. Barely long enough to buy a suit, let alone try and talk Heero out of it. No… he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't stop Heero being happy.

He scratched a second clot away, and a second strip of crimson snaked its way over his shoulder.

"Heero…" His tone was thick, Heero was the only one who could get him like this "I don't understand you Heero. You… You always seemed to want to be near me… you came to find me; you said… you said you wanted me to stay with you… Why are you leaving me now? I'm so confused Heero."

He whimpered quietly and crumpled himself to the floor; his head cradled in his arm, soft, quiet, pain-filled tears running down his cheeks

"I love you so much." He murmured into the carpet "Why, why couldn't you just love me too? I've got next nothing left in my life… and now… and now I'm losing you…"


Well, that's chapter one! Do you guys want more? Or shall I leave it as a one shot?

Much love!

Lora Helen