Title: Into the Heart, chapter 1

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Third Watch except for the idea for this story; the title is taken from one of the U2 songs

Rating: general audience

"You wanna come up?" Faith asked before she exited the car. "We can have a beer and order a pizza or something."

"You sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

She was wondering why all of a sudden Bosco felt so insecure about coming up to her flat. They had a beer or two after work often, specially since Fred left and he never questioned her invitation. Until now, that is. Though she had to admit that until now there has never been such tension between the two of them. But she considered it a positive tension, she felt attracted to him and she gathered from his behavior he felt something similar towards her.

He followed her to the door of her apartment and entered before she shut the door behind them. Emily wasn't home, she was staying at a friend's place, so the flat was enveloped in darkness till Faith hit the switch to turn on the lights.

She put her purse on the table and hung up her coat. Before she stepped into the kitchen she noticed Bosco was still standing beside the door not making any attempt to move.

"Something wrong?" she asked worriedly. His behavior was becoming more and more weird.

"No, not really," he shook his head. He slowly headed towards the couch in the living room and sat down. Faith observed him for a few seconds before she went to grab the beers from the fridge.

"So, what do you wanna eat? Pizza or something from the delly?"

"I don't really care. Anything will be fine." He made a sip from his bottle when Faith announced she'd order pizza.

When they got their food they sat in front of the TV and ate quietly. Faith asked Bosco to hand her a napkin from the other side of the table to wipe her fingers. He handed it to her and their fingers touched. Bosco looked at her but then quickly returned his gaze back to the TV. Faith remembered how their fingers had brushed that day when he handed her coffee in her office. His fingers felt just as warm then as they did now. And they felt soft and tender and she wanted to feel them again. But she also felt that Bosco was not exactly in a mood to start that topic now.

When he finished his pizza he leaned back into the couch.

"This was good. You have another beer?" he asked when he finished the bottle.

"Yeah, you want me to get it?"

"No, it's ok. I'll go. You want one too?"

"No, I still haven't finished this one."

He stood up and went to the fridge.

When he returned and sat down Faith couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"You're quiet today. What's bugging you?"

He looked at her surprised.

"I am?"

"Yes, you are. You said like ten words since we came here. If you have problems we can talk about them. Or is it something I'm not supposed to know?"

"What are you talking about? I have no problems," he rebutted and opened his beer.

"If you say so," Faith gave in but she couldn't get rid of the feeling that something wasn't right. Or was she just imagining things? She wanted so much for him to trust her, to let her be close to him, she wanted him so much … So much that she couldn't see him objectively, that she was making things up? Was that the case? She wasn't sure. And with him sitting so close to her it was not exactly the time to start searching for the answers.

"It's just that …" he suddenly started.

"Yeah?" she urged him to go on.

He turned on the couch so that he was facing her now.

"Well, you and me … we're different now, aren't we? I mean, we're not partners anymore and …" He shrugged not knowing how to continue.

"Yeah, we are different. Is that a bad thing?" she asked cautiously when she saw the anxious expression on his face. She wasn't really sure where things were going. She thought he was happy with the way things turned out after everything he's been through but now she wasn't so sure anymore.

"No, it's not a bad thing …" He looked at her intently, searching her face.

She stared at his eyes first but then dropped her gaze to his lips. He was so close and she leaned closer to him. He couldn't – he could not – expect her to resist now. This was torture, she wanted him too much to be able to just turn away and pretend she felt nothing. It was too much for her, she couldn't bear not to touch him. She thought she was going to explode from all the feelings she kept inside. She needed to show him how she felt.

She leaned a few inches closer till she could feel his breath on her skin. He didn't move, he was waiting … Whether for her to stop or to continue, she didn't know. She didn't care. She had to feel him. She brushed her mouth over his slightly parted lips in a quick movement. When he didn't move away she took possession of him once again, this time more demandingly, more thoroughly. At first he didn't respond, he seemed to stiffen in his pose but when she caressed his cheek with her fingers he finally returned the kiss. He cupped her face in his palms and kissed her with all his might. She started to feel hot when he moved closer and pressed his body against hers.

His lips left hers and trailed a path of kisses from her mouth over her cheek to her ear. He nibbled at her earlobe before he lowered his mouth to her neck and her head fell back to allow him easier access.

She put her hand on his head and turned his face towards her and kissed him again on his lips. When he entered her mouth with his warm tongue she moaned with delight.

He began to pull away again and she opened her eyes to see his face. But what she saw made her forget her previous feelings of pleasure in an instant.

He was turned away, with a tormented expression on his face, bending his head slightly.

She was so stunned she opened her mouth to say something but couldn't get a word out. When he raised his head, he said with a ragged voice, "I can't do this, Faith."

He stood up, grabbed his jacket from the couch and disappeared through her front door in no more than five seconds all together.

Faith remained sitting on the couch, totally shocked. The first thing she could think of was how embarrassing it would be to see Bosco the next day down at the house. Would she be able to look him in the face without feeling totally humiliated? She kissed him and he turned her down. She must be the only woman he had ever turned down if she considered the number of women he slept with. How could she have been so stupid to actually believe he wanted her the way she wanted him? When he said that now they weren't partners anymore all he wanted to say was that they remained friends. He never wanted them to be anything more. That became painfully obvious when he stormed out that door without a backward glance.

Faith bowed her head, tears welling up in her eyes. What was she going to do now? She had no clue.

At the same time when Faith's mind was busy trying to figure out what to do, Bosco stood leaning on her front door. His breathing was ragged and uneven, his eyes firmly shut and palms clenched into fists. His posture evidenced the struggle within. He lowered his head down on his chest and determinedly made a step towards the elevator before he could change his mind.

He couldn't do it, he told himself. Not with her, he couldn't ruin everything. She was his best friend. The only friend he ever had and he didn't want her to wake up in the morning and feel disgusted with him, regretting everything and sending him away. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't bear to lose her. Not her.

He walked to his Mustang, feeling tired and dejected. He had no idea what he was going to say to her tomorrow when he'd see her at the house. But he wasn't in a state to think about it right now. He just wanted to go home, go to bed and try to get some sleep. Alone.