Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters... Eh, I wanted this to sound lawyer-like, but I'm not very good at using big words XD This disclaimer applies to the whole fic!


A/N: This was originally a one-shot shout out to y'all to let you guys know that I'm alive and kicking, in case you haven't visited my profile lately. Instead, it turned into a full-blown story idea, with a few ideas snatched from "Full Moon wo Sagashite" by the amazing Tanemura-sama.

Anyways, this fic hasn't really been fully thought out yet. I'm concentrating on another, more serious story. This is sort of my, "ARGH, DIE WRITER'S BLOCK, DIE!" fic. But I'll love it as much as I love my other fics. As such, updating will be rather spazzy, and not on a "chapter-a-month" basis.

The writing style is a whole lot more lighthearted than what I would usually write, and a whole lot more simple as well. Please forgive me if it's not the stuff you expect from me... XD I also wanted to make this more "realistic," but I just ended up giving realism the middle finger... My muses refuse realism in my life!

SonAmy forever. And ever.

WARNING: You will (possibly) be confused by this chapter.


Dying was a very complicated business, as Sonic found out, much to his chagrin.

Okay, maybe that was an odd way to say it. Being dead was actually the complicated part. Dying wasn't quite so complicated in comparison.

He went through the usual stages. Bullet through the head, blood splattered all over the floor, friends surrounding him, going cold, memories running through his mind like a movie reel, seeing the white light… then nothing.

If he hadn't known any better, he could've sworn his death was scripted.

But anyway, it wasn't a bad way to die. He died young, lots of friends, many accomplishments – and if he could bring himself to admit it – dramatic, just the way he liked it.

Maybe it was the bullet, but being dead was giving him a huge headache. For one thing, you had to think yourself into doing things. You were overly conscious about everything you wanted to do. Like right now, for example.

He was lying on something white and fluffy. A bed, yeah, that's what they're called. And he wanted to get up, but his body – 'Uhh… 'body' in a figurative sense, I guess…' – did not want to respond.

'Okay… I'm stuck lying down. So how do I get up? And how do I open my eyes, for that matter?'

"Think."

Sonic would've jumped if the invisible… whatever it was… wasn't holding him down.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Just think, "I want to get up.""

'Who are you? Where am I? Heaven? Does that exist?' So many questions bouncing around in his head… so confusing… Maybe he should just listen to the voice.

'Umm… open, eyes, open?' He felt like he was trying to entice a puppy…

Miraculously, his eyes snapped open.

"Whew, I was getting worried."

'Tikal?' he thought in surprise. Her face was hovering over his. He hadn't seen her for a long time… Not that he could blame anyone. It was pretty hard to visit dead people. He tried to open his mouth, but it stayed glued shut.

"You can hear me, right?" the orange echidna asked her, looking concerned. A bright light flashed overhead, and he had to think himself into squinting. All Tikal needed was a surgical mask and the feeling of being in some sort of freaky sci-fi movie would be complete. "Think yourself into talking."

'Okay… this is definitely different from what I imagined…'

"Where am I?" he managed to say. His voice sounded very echoey. He made his eyes travel around the space they were in, but he could see nothing except Tikal, her tribal skirt tickling the air.

"Technically, you're not really dead, so I can't really tell you…"

Tikal looked nervous. She was twisting a dreadlock very violently between her fingers. He was surprised she didn't rip it from her head.

"How can I be not "really" dead? I either am or I'm not." He would've tapped his foot, but he was still lying down. It took too much energy to think himself up, because then he would have to remember to keep talking at the same time. Sonic wasn't very good at thinking of a thousand things at once.

"I sort of killed you, and being dead myself, it doesn't really count…"

"WHAT?" A rush of thoughts, and he was up on his feet. "You killed me?" he asked incredulously. It was easier to control his body when he was feeling emotional. And "emotional" didn't even being to describe what he was feeling right now.

Tikal had the dignity to look bashful. "Chaos wanted to know why your name wasn't on the list, and he decided to send me. He was getting really worried, and you know, he's my friend and everything… Oh, and the chaos! They were… Oh, what am I saying? I'm really, really sorry, Sonic, but we really had no choice, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, please stop." Sonic shook his head rapidly. Too much… She was dumping so much on him at once. He wanted nothing more than to… to do whatever dead people were supposed to do. Be judged or whatever, because he clearly wasn't in heaven right now.

"I'm sorry, Sonic," Tikal apologized again, her bright blue eyes earnest. The wrappings around the end of her dreadlocks had fallen off, and she looked quite frazzled. "Look, why don't I explain why you're dead in the first place-"

"You killed me," he said flatly. He was still trying to wrap his mind around that. Gentle Tikal had killed him? He was so sure it had been an Eggman robot or something.

"Yes… look, I am merely Chaos's messenger, bound to carry out his word." Tikal sighed. "I had to kill you for a reason."

Sonic couldn't help thinking himself into crossing his arms and tapping his foot. "What reason?"

Tikal looked around a bit shiftily, increasing Sonic's paranoia. He looked around himself, but he was pretty sure it was just them two in this vast, empty space… probably perfect for running.

"Sonic, take a look at this." He was snapped back to "reality," or whatever this place was called. Tikal shoved a long piece of paper in front of his nose, and he took it hesitantly, as if it would blow his fingers off. It looked sort of… plain. An official document of some sort?

"What is it?"

"The list," Tikal answered simply.

Sonic raised an eyebrow. "A list?"

"The list of people who are going to die. Chaos and I regulate the souls that come through here, match them up to the list in case…" Tikal waved her hand helplessly. "In case… people like you show up."

Sonic took a deep breath. He was ready to believe anything by now. "People like me?" he asked.

"Yes… here." She started flipping through the long list. Sonic couldn't help wincing at the vast number. He also couldn't help peeking through to check if his friends were on it…

"See? This is your name, right here." Tikal pointed it out with a gloved finger.

It was surreal, seeing his name on it.

Name: Sonic the Hedgehog

Gender: Male

Height: 100 cm.

Weight: 35 kg.

DOB: June 23, 1991

DOD: Unknown

It was almost like a standard form you would fill out to at a hospital. Everything just got a little more surreal.

"What's the last one?" he asked, distracting himself from his thoughts.

"Date of death," said Tikal, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Sonic traced it. 'Date of death…' "Well, you know what date it is now, don't you?"

"Actually, we don't."

Sonic's forehead wrinkled in thought. "Yes, you do. Didn't you kill me?"

"Deaths caused from the dead are considered illegal. We aren't allowed to intervene in the living world." She almost sounded like a professor lecturing her class.

"So, what? Are you an escaped convict now or something?" He laughed sourly.

"As I said, I did this as an order from Chaos." Tikal frowned. "Chaos and I were confused when it said your date of death was unknown. It shouldn't be physically possible-"

"Nothing here is physically possible," Sonic pointed out dryly.

Tikal ignored him. "But since you were on the list, we had to kill you anyway. We tried to look at any ways we could avoid that, of course. We asked the higher-ups if it was a typo, but they said it wasn't. Then they told us-" she paused.

"Yes…?" he asked, encouraging her to go on. This was actually sort of interesting, in the most twisted, sick, and morbid way possible.

"We had to kill you, so you could find out whose name was originally on the list."

Sonic froze. "Wh-What?" he choked.

"I'm sorry this is so confusing," she almost wailed. "This has never happened before. We think it might've been someone messing around with the list and trying to get you killed or something-"

"Well, they got their wish, didn't they?" he replied darkly. Funny, her panic was actually making everything easier to take in.

Tikal stopped. "Actually, this is a special case, so Chaos managed to get a special exception for you."

Sonic stopped breathing – in a metaphorical sense. "Special… case?"

"It's a pretty simple deal, really," Tikal said, suddenly business-like. "We send you back to the living world, you find out who's the one that is actually supposed to be on the list, and we bring you back to life."

Sonic blinked. "You're… asking me to kill someone… in exchange for my life?" he asked slowly.

"No, no, it's nothing like that," she said quickly. "Technically, they're supposed to be dead. If you don't find whoever it is, the higher-ups will send someone down instead, and then you'll both end up dead."

Sonic licked his suddenly dried lips. "But it's… it's still murder! How can you ask me to kill someone for your twisted bosses?"

Tikal shrugged. Easy for her. She was used to this insanity. And people thought he was confusing. "Life and death just works this way, Sonic. You can't overstay your time being alive."

"Overstay?" Sonic clenched his fists, crinkling the list. "You say that like life is just some cheap motel room you rent out for the night!"

Tikal's eyes softened. "Sonic, I know it's hard for someone who… who protects lives to understand, but this is just how it works. I mean, Earth would be pretty crowded if no one died, right?"

Sonic managed to grimace at her joke. "I… I really don't agree with this… but I guess I don't really have much of a choice, do I?"

Tikal breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks for understanding, Sonic." She took the list gently out of his hands. He looked down at his suddenly empty hands. He might have to kill someone with these hands…

"So… how do I know who it is? Do I get a hint or something?" he asked.

"The Chaos Emeralds."

Sonic cracked a small smile. "Should've known… So I need to collect the Chaos Emeralds, right?"

Tikal nodded. "You should also know, there are rulesto being dead."

Sonic groaned. "I should've seen that coming."

Tikal smiled sheepishly. "Sorry Sonic. Don't worry; they're not hard to keep." She flipped to the last page of the list, and with a loud rip, pulled it free of the staple.

Sonic gave it a read.

There are only three rules that the dead must follow:

1. You may let others know that you are dead, but you are not allowed to tell them of your experiences in the land of the dead.

2. You may not kill anyone on purpose, unless otherwise stated.

3. Mind your own business.

Sonic flipped the piece of paper over, as if more writing would suddenly magic itself out of nowhere. He had a hunch that he wouldn't have been surprised. "Is that it?"

"Yes." Tikal nodded rapidly. "Good luck, Sonic."

"Good luck? Hey, wait!"

But Tikal was already disappearing, smiling and waving at him.

Something seemed to suck all the air out of him. He was bathed in gold… than black… than red. The list fell silently away from his hands without his noticing. The air was suddenly rushed back at him, and he choked. It was like drinking water too fast, much too fast. He writhed, twisted…

Something jolted. He opened his eyes with a gasp.

Someone shrieked. Before he could open his mouth, something hit him over the head.

He didn't die this time, but damn, it hurt…


A/N: So that's it! I hope you enjoyed that. Please review, leave me your thoughts/praise/criticisms/flames/all of the above.

Information on Sonic the Hedgehog courtesy of Concept: Mobius website. Find the website for all your Sonic needs on my profile!