Danny Worsnop had always been in love with the older boy. He didn't know what it was about the boy that made his heart beat faster; he just knew that as soon as the boy was even in the same room as he was his heart would come close to beating right out of his chest. Ever since Danny could remember, that boy had been driving him crazy. Danny knew the boy didn't feel the same; he was straight after all, but he was okay with it. Danny didn't really care if he got to hold the boy in his arms or not, he just wanted him to be happy. The boys' happiness was the most important thing in the world to Danny.

"Hey Danny," Ben said with a bright smile as he walked up to Danny with a petite blonde girl clinging to his side.

There's that smile, Danny thought as a smile of his own creeped onto his face.

"Hi Ben," he said.

"Are you going to Adam's party tonight?"

"I didn't even know Adam was having a party."

"Really?" Ben asked looking appalled. "You should come!"

As much as Danny wanted to jump at the offer and tell the beautiful boy that he would be there, he knew what dangers lingered.

"I don't know Ben," Danny said hesitantly, thinking about sitting in a corner just watching Ben get drunk. As much as Danny loved Ben, the idea of showing everyone how right they were when they called him a loner and a loser didn't sound like a good time.

"Please Danny!" Ben said letting go of the blonde and getting down on his knees to beg. "It would mean so much to me if you came!"

Danny smiled. "Maybe for a little while." He said giving in. There wasn't much more he could do when Ben did that and Ben knew it. That was one of the few annoying things about having been Ben's friend for so long; he knew Danny's strengths but he also knew Danny's weaknesses. And in Danny's opinion Ben knew his weaknesses a little too well.

"So I'll see you at eight then?"

Ben might have asked the question but the blonde began to pull him away before Danny could reply.

"Looks like you might," Danny said to no one while watching Ben and the girl leave.

A few hours later it was eight o'clock and Danny was firmly regretting his decision.

"I'm not even friends with any of these people," Danny said to the mirror, still in his dorm room, straightening his tie.

"Mate, why are you dressing like that for a college party?" Danny's roommate James said walking up behind Danny without a shirt on like usual.

"I dress like this all the time. It's either tie and vest or band t-shirt and leather jacket."

James walked into their shared closet and came back out holding one of Danny's band t-shirts and his leather jacket. "I suggest you change into this."

Danny looked at his roommate. "Really? Why couldn't you have been here when I was trying to figure that out earlier?"

"I got caught talking to someone in the hallway."

Unbuttoning his long sleeved button-down shirt Danny said, "Who were you talking to?"

"One Mr. Ben Bruce," James replied poking Danny in the stomach.

"What did he say?"

There was a knock at the door and before answering it, James smiled at Danny knowingly. "He said he would be by to pick you up about eight."

With that said James went and opened the door. Knowing who was going to walk in, Danny felt very embarrasses standing there without a shirt.

At least I have pants on, he thought as Ben walked in and laughed. "Do you two ever wear shirts?"

"Not when I'm in here, but Danny does. He was just changing." James said.

Danny quickly pulled his t-shirt over his head and put his leather jacket on over that.

"Alright, now that you have a shirt on let's go." Ben said leading Danny out of the room and down the hall.

"Why did you come pick me up?" Danny asked the older boy, trying to smash the idea that Ben felt the same way he did. Everyone who knew said it wasn't impossible but Danny knew Ben, Danny knew it pretty much was impossible.

"I knew if I didn't you would chicken out like all those other times," Ben said poking Danny in the arm, reminding the younger man of when they were little and used to have poking wars. "You should really get out more. Me talking good about you isn't going to get you more friends."

He's been talking about me? Danny thought, looking at Ben.

"I don't even think getting out more would get me more friends Ben. Everyone is convinced I'm a freak, I'm going to be forever alone, and I'm gay. No matter how many good things you tell people about me, they aren't going to want to be around me. They are still going to want to keep their distance."

"But if those things aren't true I can get them to understand that and then I'll make them love you!" Ben said excitedly.

Danny rolled his eyes. No, he wasn't a freak, and no, he hopefully wasn't going to be alone forever, but he was gay. Ben was pretty much the only one who hadn't already figured that out. The first day he had met James are you gay was the first thing out of the boys' mouth. Of course Danny hadn't minded since he was actually trying to get out of the closet but Ben just didn't see it. Maybe he just didn't want to see it, but someday he would have to embrace the truth about his best friend.

"Ben, you don't need to change their opinions of me. I'm okay with just having a small group of friends."

"But it isn't okay that people think these things about you!" Ben said and thankfully they appeared at the room of the party.

Danny smiled at Ben. "It's okay though."

With that the two boys walked into the room and Ben was almost instantly pulled away.

"Looks like it's to the corner I go." Danny said to himself after grabbing a cup of alcohol and sitting in a chair that was already conveniently placed in the corner.

"Hopefully," Danny said looking down at the mystery drink. "Whatever this is, is strong enough to get me completely trashed so I won't remember this party at all."

Unfortunately for Danny the drink wasn't strong enough for that and since he didn't want to leave the comfort of his corner chair, his chance of getting trashed and not remembering the nights events were slim to none.

"Danny," an already drunk Ben said, running up to Danny. "You need to dance."

Danny shook his head. "I'll stay here. Why don't you go back to dancing?"

Ben looked at Danny like he had just come up with the most brilliant idea. "I will! You should come with me though Danny!"

"No, I'm good. Go have fun."

Over the next few hours Danny saw more than he really wanted to. Watching Ben get drunker, do body shots, and get lap dances wasn't exactly what he wanted to see, but he sat and watched anyway. It felt as if Danny was Ben's parents, sitting and watching, making sure the boy didn't get hurt or upset. Really it was Danny get hurt and upset though. Watching such a beautiful boy doing the things that Ben was doing was heartbreaking. If this was any notion toward what happened at the other parties Ben attended, Danny knew he wouldn't be back on the party scene any time soon.

I wish Ben would just leave or pass out so I could go back to my room, Danny thought sourly. At this point Danny didn't even care if Ben left with a girl, though it would surely hurt him to see, he just wanted to go back to his room and try to forget this night.

"Hey Danny," Danny heard Ben slur from beside him.

"Hello Ben."

"You aren't drunk," Ben stated.

"No, I'm not and you should really leave before you pass out."

"I just got an idea." Ben slurred, sitting down in Danny's lap. "We should go back to my room."

"Ben, you should sleep this off."

"There's something else I want to do first."

With that Ben pressed his lips to Danny's.

The kiss wasn't romantic, wasn't passionate. The kiss was lustful and sloppy, but Danny it was the best kiss in the world. He may have known Ben was drunk and that he probably didn't feel anything real towards Danny, but Ben was still kissing him. The older boy Danny had been in love with for years was kissing him.

"Now come back to my room?" Ben asked, moving his lips from Danny's mouth to his neck.

"Mmm. Are you going to sleep?"

"With you? Sure thing."

Danny moved his head while the boy in his lap continued to line his neck and jaw with steamy kisses.

"Not sure if that's what I meant but, okay."

As soon as the word okay was out of Danny's mouth Ben jumped up and grabbed Danny's hand, pulling the younger man out of his chair and toward the door.

"Wont anyone think it's weird that two guys are leaving the party in such a rush together?" Danny asked after Ben had dragged him out of the party and most of the way to his room.

Ben stopped, right in the middle of a hallway, and shook his head. "Not when one of those guys is me."

Danny started to say something but stopped himself. Whatever Ben had meant he knew he didn't want an explanation. Danny pretty much had an idea of what he had said anyway and he knew for sure he didn't want Ben to clarify. Might as well keep Ben as innocent as he could for as long as possible.

But you know he's already far from innocent, a nagging voice reminded Danny.

Danny pushed the thought away as Ben shoved him down on the bed and climbed on top of him.

"We need to be a little less clothed for this to be any fun," Ben slurred between rough kisses.

He's drunk.

This time Danny's thought rang and bounced around in his mind. Ben was drunk, there was no denying that and no matter how many times Danny thought Ben could really feel this way Danny could forget that he was still drunk. The next morning, while Danny would feel elated, Ben wouldn't remember this. Danny had been a sober witness to the amount of alcohol Ben had consumed that night; there was no doubt in his mind Ben would forget all about this.

"Ben," Danny said, stopping the older boy from removing his boxers, having already removed his pants. "Stop."

Ben pulled his hand from the waistband of Danny's boxers and looked at the younger man, confused. "Why? It isn't like you would be the one with the pain in the ass tomorrow morning."

Untangling himself and redressing, Danny looked at Ben. "Even with the pain you wouldn't remember tomorrow morning. I'm not drunk Ben, I would remember. You, you just want someone to fuck you. You're not thinking properly. To you, I'm your best friend, best guy friend. Ben Bruce isn't into guys." Danny laughed. "Well I guess you actually are since you said it earlier. Bottom line Ben, I want to do more than fuck you." He said.

Danny left the room without looking back at Ben. He was sure that the drunken mess he called his best friend had probably been shocked but he wouldn't remember what Danny had said anyway. No matter what Danny had done he would have remembered, but Ben wouldn't have. Knowing that face tore Danny to pieces.

Danny Worsnop had just given up the chance to have sex with the boy he had had a crush on for years. Was he happy with the fact? No, but he knew there were worse consequences. Danny knew that Ben wouldn't remember the brutal truth that Danny had just told him and, if it had happened, he wouldn't have remembered the sex Danny had just given up.

And that's why, as Danny walked through the empty dorm hallways, there were tears streaking down his face.

But why then, if Ben had been too much of a drunk mess, did the rumor start that they had seen a very sober Ben Bruce walking around, tears streaming down his face, the very next day?