Disclaimer: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Nymphadora Tonks all belong to J.K. Rowling
Warnings: Sirius/Remus implied, angst
I knew I didn't love her. I had always known I didn't love her. Yet, I married her. I married her, bound my soul to hers because…in one moment of weakness when she kissed me I loved her. I loved her more than I could describe because in when her lips were pressed against mine, and her hands wrapped around my neck, and her eyes closed and her hair tickled my face…
My mind shut down, and all logic that I was renowned for, all the cold and purposeful reasoning that I had prided myself on disappeared instantly. In a moment, I was 17 again, my lovers hands were wrapped around my neck as hers were, their hair…they both had the same hair…and her lips tasted and felt exactly and undeniably the same as his. The same rush of emotion, of- of lust and of desire raged within me when she, so similar to my old love, made that bold, first move.
And when she asked me to marry her, I agreed. I said yes because, at that EXACT moment, I felt like they he was alive again, standing before me, asking me on our first date. And my mind, now so clouded with memories of times long passed and times so joyous in the innoncence of youth, believed that she would bring back what I had thought I had lost forever…
It was foolish… I know, but...I kiss her like I kissed him so long ago, and each and every time I allow this childish, selfish desire to further blind me and in my passion I say…
"I love you."
And I think she knows that it's not her I'm speaking to.
