Title: Sorry, Wesley
Author: Ailie McFarland
E-Mail: aixla@juno.com
Rating: PG
Fandom: AtS
Spoilers: Disharmony (aired 4/17/2001)
Archive: http://www.geocities.com/aixla/fanfic.html
Distribution: Oh! If it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Disclaimer: AtS and it's characters don't belong to me. 'Cause if they did ... um ... I can't come up with a glib response for this one. Sorry.
Author's notes: No real plot, just a few thoughts on Angel's shopping spree at the end of the ep. (And BTW ... that little scene where Cordy was screaming about her new clothes was just priceless)
Sorry, Wesley. I know you're not happy with the way I dealt with Cordelia tonight. But I couldn't stand it anymore. I can handle you and Gunn being upset with me, but Cordy is another story.
Don't get me wrong, you know I'm not interested in Cordelia in that way. And it's not that I don't consider you and Gunn to be friends. But ... it's complicated. You, Gunn, and Cordy are very different people, and I can't relate to all of you in the same way.
Gunn is a warrior. He understands and respects strength of body and of character. I could apologize to him until I'm blue in the face ... well, I'd never get blue in the face, what with not needing to breathe and all. The point is, all the apologizing in the world won't make any difference, but a few good fights against evil will probably do the trick. It's a matter of trust, covering each others backs, and knowing he can count on me when the going gets tough. Warriors forge bonds through battle; that's the way it's been since the beginning of time.
You and I relate on a more intellectual plane. You like to talk things through, work everything out cerebrally. That's why we've been having all these long talks in your office. If a problem in your life goes untalked about it festers like a wound, unable to heal. And so, even though it's hard for me, I make the effort to talk to you, to try to help you understand and find that closure you need. The breach between you and I will be the hardest to mend because of this.
Cordelia is an emotional person. You knew her when she was still a student, so you should understand that better than anyone. Back in those days she acted on her wants, her needs. Now, even though she works to help others, her first instinct is always to trust her emotions first, intellect second. I think that tendency of hers has saved us all in so many ways. It's easy for you and I to get bogged down in semantics. Gunn tends to want to barge in fighting. Cordelia feels what the people we're supposed to help feel, and it's not just because of the visions.
I can deal with a warrior's mistrust, with an intellect's scorn, but not with an emotional's pain. Looking into her eyes as she told me we were no longer friends ... I could see the hurt there, more than I could with you or Gunn. And Cordy ... Cordy understands physical signs of love and affection. When I was having trouble finding "connections to the world" as she put it, she went out and bought art supplies for me. It's not the fact that money was spent, it's the time and care that went into finding just the right thing. That's how she relates to people. And that's how we can best relate to her.
And so I'm sorry, Wesley, that I couldn't follow your advice in this instance. But as you both said last year, my connections to the world are very important. And Cordy, in some strange way, connects my heart to this mortal plane. I'd lived without that for five months. I couldn't wait any longer.
Author: Ailie McFarland
E-Mail: aixla@juno.com
Rating: PG
Fandom: AtS
Spoilers: Disharmony (aired 4/17/2001)
Archive: http://www.geocities.com/aixla/fanfic.html
Distribution: Oh! If it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Disclaimer: AtS and it's characters don't belong to me. 'Cause if they did ... um ... I can't come up with a glib response for this one. Sorry.
Author's notes: No real plot, just a few thoughts on Angel's shopping spree at the end of the ep. (And BTW ... that little scene where Cordy was screaming about her new clothes was just priceless)
Sorry, Wesley. I know you're not happy with the way I dealt with Cordelia tonight. But I couldn't stand it anymore. I can handle you and Gunn being upset with me, but Cordy is another story.
Don't get me wrong, you know I'm not interested in Cordelia in that way. And it's not that I don't consider you and Gunn to be friends. But ... it's complicated. You, Gunn, and Cordy are very different people, and I can't relate to all of you in the same way.
Gunn is a warrior. He understands and respects strength of body and of character. I could apologize to him until I'm blue in the face ... well, I'd never get blue in the face, what with not needing to breathe and all. The point is, all the apologizing in the world won't make any difference, but a few good fights against evil will probably do the trick. It's a matter of trust, covering each others backs, and knowing he can count on me when the going gets tough. Warriors forge bonds through battle; that's the way it's been since the beginning of time.
You and I relate on a more intellectual plane. You like to talk things through, work everything out cerebrally. That's why we've been having all these long talks in your office. If a problem in your life goes untalked about it festers like a wound, unable to heal. And so, even though it's hard for me, I make the effort to talk to you, to try to help you understand and find that closure you need. The breach between you and I will be the hardest to mend because of this.
Cordelia is an emotional person. You knew her when she was still a student, so you should understand that better than anyone. Back in those days she acted on her wants, her needs. Now, even though she works to help others, her first instinct is always to trust her emotions first, intellect second. I think that tendency of hers has saved us all in so many ways. It's easy for you and I to get bogged down in semantics. Gunn tends to want to barge in fighting. Cordelia feels what the people we're supposed to help feel, and it's not just because of the visions.
I can deal with a warrior's mistrust, with an intellect's scorn, but not with an emotional's pain. Looking into her eyes as she told me we were no longer friends ... I could see the hurt there, more than I could with you or Gunn. And Cordy ... Cordy understands physical signs of love and affection. When I was having trouble finding "connections to the world" as she put it, she went out and bought art supplies for me. It's not the fact that money was spent, it's the time and care that went into finding just the right thing. That's how she relates to people. And that's how we can best relate to her.
And so I'm sorry, Wesley, that I couldn't follow your advice in this instance. But as you both said last year, my connections to the world are very important. And Cordy, in some strange way, connects my heart to this mortal plane. I'd lived without that for five months. I couldn't wait any longer.
