disclaimer: buffy and spike are not mines.
summary: the talk buffy and spike should have had after harmony and drusilla left. the whole punch spike really, really hard into the buffy shrine never happened. i wrote this really quickly to make myself feel better after "crush". kinda short and not that good but... yeah... enjoy.


The talk wasn't going very well. I fidgeted and Buffy kept her eyes on her hands. After a minute or two of uncomfortable-ness, I got tired of the silence and quiet that made the my lair seem too loud. We both opened our mouths and began speaking simultaneously, like in the movies. The conversation stopped before it started.

"You go first, Spike." She said. I shrugged.

"What is there to say? It's pretty simple. I love you." One green-hazel eye twitched. I winced.

"Spike, you can't love, you can't feel. You're a demon." A frustration smoldered in my gut. The silly bint still didn't get it.

"You don't need a bloody soul to love. A soul is like a moral thing; a spiritual feeling or whatever. I don't have a soul; I've never felt bad for slashing and bashing. But I do have a heart; I do feel. And what I feel for you is love." I gazed at her, imploring for her to understand.

"But Spike... you're a mons- demon for God's sake. You're evil." I guess she didn't understand.

"Nancyboy's a demon." The second I said this, she threw her tiny hands in her air, obviously frustrated. She was such a cutie when she was mad.

"Not again. Why do you always bring that up? Angel happens to have a soul, something you are lacking."

"Hey, I'm willing to change for you, love. I'll give up hunting and killing." For Heaven's sake, I was even willing to kill Drusilla for her.

"First of all, you can't kill. And second, if you could, you're not doing it because you think it's wrong. You're doing it only because you think you love me."

"Well, duh. Lacking a soul, remember? And I don't think I love you, pet, I know I love you."
She sat there for some time, very still-like, and said not a word, a storm raging in her eyes. Wouldn't mind drowning in that storm.

"What do you want from me, Spike." She said it softly and quietly, more of a statement than a question. I was completely baffled for a moment. What did I want? What did she want?

That's when something dawned in my chipped brain.

"The question is, love, is why are you afraid of me loving you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why are you afraid?"

"Of what? You? Yeah, right." The uncomfortable look on her face told me I've hit something.

"Not of me. Of love. Hurt one too many times, Slayer? Afraid that you might begin to love me, of getting hurt again?"

She stared at me in shock, and a look crossed her beautiful face-- a look that said, "Oh my god. He could be right." And I gazed at her and felt a genuine smile form on my face. I felt hope. "Don't worry, love. I'd rather die a million horrible bloody deaths than hurt you. I'll never bring you pain." She stood up abruptly, a strange look in her lovely eyes, lips set in a firm line.
"Spike, you are disgusting and revolting. Don't ever come near me again. Stay away from my family and my friends or I'll bring you pain. A lot of it." She turned to leave but even her words and her turned back could not hurt me.

"I love it when you play hard to get." I said in my perfected cocky manner. She accelerated her speed and was out of the crypt before I could tell her I'll see her around very soon.


end


it's a possibility, right? please let me be right.