Disclaimer: sadly, I do not own the following Gundam Wing characters. I also do not own, (also sadly) the author's assistant. I only own the author. Don't sue me. I have nothing to give except for a weird glow in the dark T-shirt and a few game tokens. And I doubt you'd be able to use the tokens too.
Bad Hair Daze
6:30 AM, March 3rd, 198AC
Heero's computer woke him up, again. He glanced at the clock.
Heero: 6:30. It let me sleep in a bit today.
Now that Dr. J was deceased, Heero didn't need his computer for much anymore except for an alarm. Duo had somehow installed a personality chip into it. For fun, the computer would either wake him up early or late, mostly early. Stretching, Heero glanced over at Duo, sleeping peacefully in the bed next to his own.
Heero: How can that guy always sleep through that alarm?
Perturbed by this never-answered question, Heero ignored it again and headed for his bathroom.
6:35 AM, March 3rd, 198AC
Despite being able to sleep through the computer's annoying beeping alarm, Duo was rudely awakened by Heero's echoing scream, which also woke up the other occupants of the house. Duo was the first one to reach Heero's private bathroom.
Duo: Heero, hey Heero, what happe….mmph….BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
Heero's hair was no longer it's messy brown, but slicked back. Heero was too busy trying to muss up his hair.
Heero: It's….it's not moving! My hair is dead!
Duo: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heero finally spun and faced Duo, who was rolling on the ground with laughter. A light smile curled at Heero's mouth.
Heero: Why don't you look in a mirror and laugh at yourself Duo-kun?
Duo: *stops laughing* Huh? *gets up and looks in the mirror*
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei skid to a stop beside the bathroom. Heero stood in the doorway with his slick hair, grinning at Duo. Duo, in the meantime, had a terrified look on his face as he patted his once haired head.
Duo: I'm BALD!!!!!!!
Heero: No duh, happy boy.
As Trowa looked at the two in mild surprise, he came to a realization.
Trowa: Wait a minute…I can see! Where'd my bang go?!
All four turned at Trowa's proclamation. He had most of his hair, except the bang was totally gone. However, Trowa's problem was soon forgotten when Quatre looked in the mirror as well, curious if anything had happened to him. Something had.
Quatre: AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quatre's hair was the common Arabian brown, but with hot green and blue streaks running through it. Duo was back on the ground laughing, and Wufei was trying not to.
Heero: Don't laugh until you've looked at yourself Wufei. You've got a surprise coming for you as well.
Wufei stopped holding in his laughter, he had none left to hold in. Nervously he looked in the mirror.
Wufei: Kisama. Of all the things the perpetrators could have done, they had to do a mohawk!
Wufei still had his little ponytail, except that was connected to a small mohawk. Finally, all five grumbling, they went downstairs to have breakfast before they would see what they could do about their hair.
11:00 AM, March 3rd , 198AC
The five pilots were slumped back in the chairs next to the breakfast table. Since 7:00 that morning they'd tried everything to get their hair back. Heero and Quatre washed their hair multiple times to no effect, and Duo, Wufei, and Trowa tried every kind of hair growth formula, along with hunting down some wig sites, all to no prevail. Things couldn't get worse. (AN: Or so they thought until I, the great Author, stepped in…heheh…literally)
As they sat there, the doorbell rang, once, twice, three times. Not one of the boys dared go answer the door for fear of who they'd find. Finally, after the tenth ring and a couple of rounds of rock-paper-scissors, it was decided that Trowa would answer the door. At the door…
Catherine: Hey there Trowa…*snicker* lookin' good today.
Relena: Nice do, Trowa…hehe…
Dorothy: What happened Trowa, your bang get caught in the blender this morning?
Hilde: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sally: Is this going to be a permanent look or just for a few days?
Trowa: shut up…
Catherine: Ooh, sensitive about it, huh? Let us in now please?
Trowa walked out of the doorway, letting in the five girls.
Trowa: Everyone's in the kitchen. Careful. Heero's armed.
As soon as the first girl entered the room…
Duo: Holy Shit! *dives under the table*
Heero: Of all the days they had to visit…….*tries to muss up his still slick hair*
Wufei: *holds his sword in a defensive position* Laugh and you'll be having the same cut as Duo.
Quatre: *hides his hair under a teddy bear*
Hilde: We MUST have the number of your stylists boys.
Duo: *from under the table* Ha Ha Hilde. Very funny.
All girls: We thought it was.
Sally: So, what happened here?
Trowa: No idea. We all just woke up like this.
Hilde: *reaches under the table and pulls Duo out* You know, bald is really not your style, cutes.
Duo: I kinda noticed that!
Heero: If I ever find out who did this…I'll…
Relena: But you look so handsome with your hair slicked back Heero.
Heero: *deathglares Relena, who just gives him the puppy dog head cock back*
Sally: You know Wufei, someone could easily mistake you for an indian with that cute little mohawk and ponytail.
Wufei: *jumps up and chases Sally around the room a couple of times before she disappears into the living room* ANYONE ELSE WANNA SAY IT?!
Catherine: I suppose someone else's said that today.
Wufei: *glares at Duo*
Quatre: We'd suspect him but he'd never shave his own hair to pull a prank on us.
Duo: *whimpers*
Dorothy: C'mon Quatre. We've yet to see your new look. Off with the bear!
Catherine: *reaches behind Quatre and pulls it off, revealing the brown, green, and blue hair*
Quatre: Hey! Gimme back Binkie! *sweatdrops after he realizes he said that*
Everyone else: *ends up on the ground in hysterics except for Trowa who is just trying to hold back a grin*
(Ya know, this is just going too calmly. Let's stir this lil fic up a bit…)
Author's assistant: Puu! *Mokona hops in carrying a brown duffel bag*
Girls: Eek! It's the author's assistant! No! Shoo! Take that bag with you!
Heero: Hn? *picks up the brown bag Mokona is holding up to him*
Mokona: Pu! *hops out of the room*
(Author: Thanks Umi, Fuu, Hikaru. Mokona was a hehe...big help)
(Hikaru: No problem Author)
(AN: For those of you who don't know Rayearth, Mokona is a marshmallow thing with rabbit ears that has a one word vocabulary of Pu. And it's ultra kawaii too!)
Heero: *opens the bag and dumps everything out* *inside was a can of shellac, a few pairs of barber scissors, a box of brown hair dye, blue hair dye, and green hair dye, and a razor* *also comes a piece of paper*
Duo: Hey Heero, what's the paper say?
Heero: *reading* Alright girls, we're going to show the guys who's in charge. They can't go gay on us and leave us hanging without some form of payment. Relena, shellac Heero's hair back. You always hated that mussiness. Hilde, you know what to do. Duo's pride and joy is his braid. Don't just take the braid off, take it all off. Catherine, remove that horrifying bang of Trowa's any way possible, either use the shellac or cut the whole damn thing off. Dorothy, have some fun with that hair dye. Any combo of your choice will work. I'll do something with Wufei. I know he's straight, but he had a wife he never told me about! A wife! Even though she's dead, the boy pays. You all know your missions. Get to it.
All boys: *turn at the girls who are attempting to retreat back*
(Oh no you five don't.)
Mokona: Puu! *closes the door to the room and locks it*
*the guys all end up chasing the five girls around the room with various weapons, Heero with his gun, Duo with plates of food, Trowa with the battery powered razor, Quatre with Binkie (mmph, beware the teddy!), and Wufei with his katana*
(Author: *watches this continue from above*)
3:00 PM, March 3rd, 198AC
The girls sat in a group, held by a tight rope. Relena's designer outfit was filled with holes, Hilde was coated in food, Catherine was missing parts of her skirt from where the razor had hit it, Dorothy's hair was messed up from Binkie (mmph), and Sally was bleeding slightly.
Duo: So, do you girls give up?
Girls: Yes…..
Duo: Will you leave us alone and allow us to live unstraight lives if we want to?
Relena: Is unstraight even a word?
Duo: *thinks for a second* Well it is now. Anyways, back to the question.
Relena: Anyways isn't a word either. It's anyway.
Heero: Urusai baka Relena.
Girls: Yes…..
Duo: Good, then most of it is settled. Just one more thing…
Wufei: We can't let you five go without our revenge for our hair.
Girls: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*the boys all approach them with their selected hair supplies* *as one, they jump, prepared to attack*
(Whoa! Pause!)
*everything freezes, nothing moving* *Author comes down and replaces the five Gundam girls with Sailor Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter*
(Much better. Action!)
4:00 PM, March 3rd, 198AC
The boys finished giving the Sailor Scouts their new hairdos, and the author switched them with the G-girls, who were all wearing the appropriate wigs. The boys let them go. The girls dumped their wigs as they were outside the door and bolted for the car.
Quatre: Hey! Those were just wigs!
Trowa: Then who did we do those hairdo's to?
Meanwhile, in Tokyo, a bad guy was laughing himself to death at the Scouts' new looks.
Sailor Moon: Hey, what's he laughing at?
Sailor Jupiter: I don't know Sailor Moon.
Sailor Mars: No idea.
Sailor Mercury: Don't look at me.
Sailor Venus: *looks at the now dead bad person* Hey, that wasn't a bad guy, that was Tuxedo Mask. Oh well. Hey, why don't we go get some ice cream?!
All other SS: All right.
